Saturday, November 10, 2018


This week, Henry and I have spoken on the phone three times in all. I've spoken to Reg twice.

I think back to a week ago and laugh at myself. I was feeling isolated and sad because I wasn't hearing from them. Ha!

Henry is very unhappy and very unreasonable. He still insists he's never had a brain injury. He began the week by fighting his doctors every step of the way, but now it seems to be dawning on him that if he doesn't do what they say, he'll never be released.

He insists Reg went more than a week without seeing him. That simply isn't true. I keep telling him that. I said, "But he called me from the road when he was going to the hospital. He called me from the motel next door to the hospital. He was there." Henry's response was both ridiculous and condescending, "I used to think you were one of the smartest people I know," he said sadly.

So now I'm dumb as a box of rocks. I guess it's obvious (to Henry) that Reg was calling me from their home in Key West, not in Miami at all.

He boomerangs between worrying about the mortgage (it's gone up $50/month, and they had a hard time affording it before) and complaining that all Reg cares about is money ... that Reg is simply not there for him ... that he is leaving Reg as soon as they get back to Key West ....

Yeah, and go where? I thought. You're in a wheelchair and you have no money.

Instead I said, "Why make a relationship decision now? Neither of you is at your best right now. He's stressed by the 3 1/2 hour drive, and then having to work while he's sick with worry about you. You're on meds ..."

"I'm not. I'm fine."

"YOU WERE HIT BY A TRUCK!" I shouted. "You were literally hit by a truck! You mean to tell me you're absolutely fine?"

I was mad at myself for yelling at him, but maybe it got through. For the remainder of the call, he backed off a bit from the divorce talk. Last night, when we spoke, he was more conciliatory, toward both Reg and the therapists.

As frustrating as he is, it's comforting to talk to him. His memory of us is in tact. He tells me all the time that he loves me, that I'm his only sister. He hasn't yelled (back) at me. He hasn't tried to "dismiss" me. He's the one who calls me, not the other way around. He always asks about Reynaldo.

Whether he accepts it or not, he had a traumatic brain injury. He had surgery to rebuild his ankle. The road to recovery is going to be a long journey. I have to buckle up and prepare myself. And feel blessed that Reg and Henry have invited me along on the ride.

1 comment:

  1. Exhausting is true. But heart-touching, too!


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