|"It's all good in here."|
Meaning that our fantasy lives are so much more satsifying than our real lives. And we're good with that.
It started with me reiterating that my love affair with Sir Paul McCartney is the most successful and enduring relationship I've ever had with a man ... and he hasn't been around for a moment of it. But that's OK, said I, because "it's all good in here."
Watching the Cubs on the big screen TV in our hotel room, I rhapsodized about how wise manager Joe Madden is, and how I wish I could bring him with me all the time for advice and support. "You can," my friend said, touching her temple. "In here. Because it's all good in here."
For her part, she talked about how involved she was with the exhaustive 2-volume Frank Sinatra biography I recommended. She wondered how long she would have lasted with Frank (since no woman lasted very long) and whether their break up would be sweet or hostile. Yes, she's aware he's been dead for nearly 20 years. But what difference does that make? "It's all good in here."
She is turning 60. We were at The Fest for Beatle Fans, her chosen way of celebration.* So indulging in fantasy was totally appropriate and the order of the day(s). But here's the thing:
|Beatle fan Terrence Howard|
I know how hard she's working on managing her bipolar condition. But she gets such little support from the cousin she moved out there to be near, and she feels very alone. Her coworkers are much, much younger than she is, so she's not making friends there.
I've recommended she join a church. Spiritual reinforcement and a community to bring over a covered dish when she's sick. But she's sure those congregants would "judge" her. That's how the Right Wingers she sees on TV appear to her -- more disapproving than supportive -- and she doesn't feel "up to it." I tell her that MY church is not at all like that, we're about involvement and love. She's deeply skeptical. She watches Joel Osteen instead. I think her connection to Christ is great, but it doesn't help her connect to her fellow man.
OK, so what about a Meetup? Or a book club? No, and no. She's too tired when she gets home from work to do anything but crash on the sofa.
She's no longer involved with Twitter or Facebook or her blog.
But here's the thing: she's so funny and smart and generous. She'd have a much easier time making friends than I do. I think she must be Los Angeles' best kept secret. Those women out there don't know what a good girlfriend they're missing out on.
Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net