Saturday, December 01, 2012

Holidailies -- Day 1

Today's prompt: Introduce Yourself. I'm just a blogger who really, really wants to feel the Christmas spirit. The season is less than a month long and I want to enjoy it. In years gone by I have really loved the carols and decorations and sense of pervasive good will. But this year, I'm struggling.

The biggest reason for this is my mom's passing. She died on September 13 of this year, and she was the hub of our family at the holidays.

And that means our family traditions are evolving. I realized over Thanksgiving that while our family traditions were familiar, they weren't necessarily happy. As my mom's life drew to a close, I made a conscious effort to "keep a lid on things," to get along because I wanted our time together -- hers and mine -- to be as peaceful and pleasant for her as possible. I kept thinking of the lyrics to a Beatle song, "Two of Us": You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches on ahead.

Spending Thanksgiving in a restaurant, all dressed up like a big girl, surrounded by dear old friends felt more comfortable than many of the tense, awkward holiday meals I've had in the recent past with siblings.

So I'm making my way through this first, pivotal holiday season without my mother the best way I know how -- with my words. Over the next month I expect to miss her a great deal, but I also hope to discover a lot of joy, too.



For more about Holidailies, click here.

5 comments:

  1. I hope you discover a lot of joy, too.

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  2. My mom passed away in December several years ago and it took having grandkids, many Christmas'later, to perk me up to Christmas again. I know Mom, our Queen of Cristmas, would not have wanted that! It will get better.

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  3. I thought I hated how things 'evolved' as I got older. When I moved to CA, it was the hardest thing ever at the holidays. I married a Jewish guy that didn't really care if we did the whole 'Christmas Tradition' thing, so I learned to love Passover and Seder and go out to dinner and to a movie on Christmas.

    When we divorced and I moved back to Ohio, (february) the following January 5th my dad passed away. My 'traditions' and my life changes so much as I get older that it has become somewhat of a 'new journey' each year.

    My siblings and I and all of my cousins still keep the traditions as close as we can, and have even started some new ones.

    We make our own joy and happiness. I've followed your blog for so long that I feel certain that you are content with all of your decisions in life, and you are strong, and very content.

    I love your blog. Have a great Saturday. xo Mary

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  4. My mom's still around, but lives with my sister who wants to 86 most traditions. I can't really blame her. It used to be that my brother & his 4 kids and I with my 4 would be the "life of the party". But our kids have all moved away. The "Brennan" Christmas with everyone together has long been over.

    My kids and I chose Dec 23rd to do Christmas Eve this year. A new tradition. Now my sis wants to come!

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  5. It sounds like your evolving traditions may bring you unexpected joy. I sure hope so. I'll be thinking about you over the holidays.

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