Friday, April 27, 2012

Trifecta

This weekend's challenge: Create a scene that involves (or affects) at least three people. Write it from the point of view of three of the characters, using 33 words for each character. 

THREE PEOPLE.  99 WORDS.


Why is it all I ever see is the part of his hair? We’re at the restaurant where we had our first date, and is he gazing into my eyes? No. He’s TEXTING.
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Re: FTD Order #F218810. The Deeply Devoted roses & vase arrangement. Confirmation email said it would be delivered to the Atwood Café 1 W. Washington before 7:00. It’s not here. WHERE IS IT?
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Look at that couple in the candlelit booth with a view. His thumbs are working overtime on that Blackberry and she looks mad enough to spit glass. They make me grateful I’m single.


17 comments:

  1. Gal!!!! I am laughing so hard because I've been to the Atwood Cafe a ton (Wash and State! Love it!) so I can sooo picture the environment. Plus, in my book, cellphones/texting during dinner date= BIG no-no.

    The "mad enough to spit glass" comment was fantastic. Hope they arrived sooner rather than later.

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  2. This was great. The miscommunication all around is very realistic.

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  3. Sigh.

    Best laid plans all for naught, again.

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  4. and he likely wonders later why he is in hot water (again) :)

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  5. The many things that could be said for misinterpreted body language....Very well done.

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  6. This just goes to show that things aren't always as they seem.

    Personally, I think texting at dinner is rude....but knowing why he's doing it almost makes it excusable :)

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  7. Ha, perfect take on misunderstandings. Just goes to show, when you point the finger at someone, you point three back at yourself. Very true to life, loved it. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/04/27/wonder-wander/

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  8. This is great! I like the image of "so mad she could spit glass". Poor guy!

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  9. Yeah. But that's not USUALLY why these jerks are tethered to their phones.

    Hopefully the flowers arrive before she brains him.

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  10. Nicely conveyed tension. Life would be a lot simpler with a little more straightforward communication, wouldn't it?
    Thanks for playing, come back tomorrow for the new prompt.

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  11. Hah! This is a bridge to assumption alley laced with rife tension.

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  12. Haha! I loved the tension here - she might just leave him before the plants arrive. Then what good?! I saw on Gina's blog that the location is real. That is totally fun. I'm among those who love real life things in my fiction, too.

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  13. Haha! I loved the tension here - she might just leave him before the plants arrive. Then what good?! I saw on Gina's blog that the location is real. That is totally fun. I'm among those who love real life things in my fiction, too.

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  14. Um. And I appear to have loved it so much that I said so twice. Dunno what's up with that.

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  15. Oh no! Modern day technology makes such a mess of things, doesn't it?!

    This is such a fun take on the challenge ... poor sad sack.

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Sorry about adding Comment Moderation, folks. But look at the bright side, at least I've gotten rid of word verification!