I took today off as a mental health day.
I slept in (past 8:00 AM!) and did two loads of laundry in my own laundry room (first time since September!). It was good to be able to bleach my undies again.
Took a nap and ordered myself barbecue ribs and followed Illinois' complicated gubernatorial election.
I feel better, but I still have this sense of dread -- mostly about my mother's mental acuity and my oldest friend's recent relocation to California. My mom is frighteningly, progressively more willful and forgetful these days and my friend's freshman-aged daughter is, I fear, on the verge of making some serious mistakes at her new high school. The girl is going from a conservative suburb in Illinois' DuPage Co. to Beverly Hills High. I'm not sure that posts that say, "Itz Halloween motherfuckers" and "u r a fag but my fag" and references to suicide are the way to represent her to her new classmates, or my friend to the mothers of her new classmates.
I worry. I worry. I worry. But I'm trying to let go what I can't change and just move on. And I do feel better today. Maybe blissful, uninterrupted sleep really is what I needed.
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
It's great that you could take the day to do some self-care. It sounds like you needed it. Sorry you're worrying about your loved ones. I hope everything turns out all right with your friend and her daughter.
ReplyDeleteYou wouldn't be you if you weren't worrying about someone close to you! :-)
ReplyDeleteHope your day turned out to be a decent one.
While we can't hit CTRL-ALT-DEL on our lives as we might wish, occasionally we get to press the PAUSE button for a few hours. Sleep can do wonders to recharge.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get some reassuring news soon.