Thursday, February 26, 2009

Is it OK if I feel sorry for Rielle Hunter?

Regular readers of this humble blog know I consider Elizabeth Edwards a true heroine. Her memoir, Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers, touched me deeply and finally taught this ever-independent Gal the life lesson that sometimes it requires strength to ask for help. Mrs. Edwards' dedication to the causes that matter to her, like universal healthcare, has not wavered as her cancer has progressed. Last summer, as part of a Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee fundraiser, she wrote: "Throughout my battle with breast cancer, so many extraordinary people have reached out to me and my family, holding us up with their gentle but unwavering support. The truth is, I have been very fortunate -- not just because of their support but because I have good health care coverage. I also haven't had to worry about whether I might lose my home to foreclosure or how I'll put food on my children's table or gas in my car." I doubt I would be able to maintain such selfless perspective if I was suffering from inoperable cancer.

That's why I was so disappointed and disgusted that John Edwards would hurt and humiliate her as he did. I admit it, I was so upset you'd think I was the one he cheated on. (Well, that is kinda how it felt!)

Yet as the press starts swirling around the upcoming release of Elizabeth's next book (Resilience, due in May), whispers have started about "the other woman" in Edwards' life, Rielle Hunter. Here's one columnist's take on Hunter's life since the affair was confirmed in August 08: "Soon after that, the private arrangements between Edwards and Hunter more or less fell apart. Fred Baron, an Edwards associate, had been funding Hunter’s stay at a rented Santa Barbara home. But Baron died suddenly and tragically in late October after a short bout with cancer. This left Hunter in the lurch. The lease on her house ran out in December. Since then, she’s been relying on the kindness of friends, sources say, and hoping that Edwards would do the right thing. So far, that hasn’t happened. Hunter has forged on ahead as a single mom, refusing to sell her story or sue Edwards for paternity. The baby’s birth certificate still lists no father."

From where I sit, Hunter and her daughter, Frances Quinn, are victims of Edwards' selfish lack of self-control, too. There are no winners in this saga, just losers.

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:57 PM

    NO, it is not okay to feel sorry for "Rielle Hunter", aka Lisa Druck. She has never had a real job in her life, has mooched off everyone she has ever known. She has lied to "boyfriends" about a need for an abortion for the sole reason of getting money. I seriously would not be supprised if she intentionally got pregnant during the time frame of the affair, with or without Edwards sperm. We all know a female in their mid forties (especially with the wild background she had) would not easily get preganant. It would not surprise me is she went so far as using fertility drugs to increase her chances of pregnanacy at her late age. Why does she have no other children? How did she blow through 15,000 dollars a month with no rent to pay and now she has to resort to living with her last female friend. She is not the type of person to pity, only to feel shame for and disgust.

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  2. Looks like Anonymous would prefer branding with a scarlet letter.

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  3. Well, you sealed it for me, Anon. No mention in your post of Ms. Hunter's child, nor of Elizabeth Edwards. Just a lot of anger aimed at Rielle Hunger. Anyone who has folks scouring the Internet specifically to trash them has my sympathy.

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  4. Anonymous9:10 PM

    They all need God and they all need our prayers...pure & simple.
    I do not want to pass jugdement on anyone...my life has dark closets too.

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  5. I enjoyed your post, Gal.
    Elizabeth Edwards breaks my heart. It's all such a sad situation.
    This is not the way her last years should be.

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  6. Anonymous3:05 PM

    To be honest, she does not need a scarlet letter. I'm not trying to be unnecessarity derogatory aobut Lisa Druck. But, you females know what I am talking about. Have you seen her picture? Not exactly the girl next door.

    It's undeniable, if you know anything about her background, that she IS a golddigger. Always has been, always will be.

    I have enormous sympathy for her baby, and enormous empathy for Elizabeth Edwards. The baby deserves more in life than she will get from this mother. Re: Elizabeth, no one deserves this kind of treatment from a spouse of 30 some years. I understand he is doing all he can to undo the damage, but this is a tough one for the Edwards family.

    I do not dismiss what he did; he is totally to blame for his actions. But, believe me, Ms. Druck doesn't make it easy for men to politely say no. Women like her always have an agenda.

    She slept with a married man with 4 children, a wife with cancer who was clearly supporting him with her intelligence and presence. Does Ms. Druck have no morals at all?

    The title of your blog is what got my hair raised enough to respond. I rarely blog anywhere.

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  7. The title of my blog is "One Gal's Musings." I doubt that's what drew you in (I bet it was the title of the post), but since you brought it up: you have no idea what kind of female I am. I could be a "woman like her" with an agenda. I could be "one of those females" who makes it hard for a man to say no. I could be a woman who remained very fertile over 40, despite my "wild background." Perhaps I slept with someone I shouldn't have. You don't know who you're addressing here, or if your words hurt. There's an awful lot of anger in your comments, and you perhaps you would do well to tone it down a bit. You don't know whether the misogynist tone offends my regular readers, or even me.

    I somehow feel, though, that being offensive is not your intention so I'm leaving your comments up. This is clearly very important to you, and I understand that sometimes we all need an outlet where we can vent.

    Right now I'm watching one of my favorite movies -- The Natural. One of the memorable lines is, "We have two lives -- the one we learn with and the life we live after that." I'm eager to see how Ms. Hunter handles the attention that's about to come her way with the publication of Elizabeth Edwards' book. To me, that's as important as any sins she may have committed in the past.

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  8. Anonymous9:30 AM

    I stand corrected. The title of the post is what got to me.

    I appreciate you trying to understand where I'm coming from but my anger and disgust with this woman is based on personal experience, knowledge, and pain suffered in my own life. I've seen this happen too many times to relatively good, secure families but with a powerful, attractive, extremely wealthy man who succumbs to the wiles of just this sort of woman. You cannot tell me all women would do what she did. Of course, I do admit, all men would not succumb. I would also submit she saw a vulnerability in him with his schedule and his sick wife, as a great opportunity for herself. I am disgusted any woman would connive to achieve what she has achieved. She is not a filmmaker, her work was horrendous. As a politician video making certaintly wasn't his strong suit and he was, clearly, bowled over by a con artist who has practiced her art for a lifetime. She is not the only woman I know who is capable of such behavior, but, thankfully they are few and far between.

    I read your blog, I don't believe you to be anything close to this type of woman. Who knows, you may have slept with a married man. You may have stalked him and made it difficult for him to say no. You may have nearly broken up an otherwise relatively good marriage (as good as any are these days) and you may have ignored the fact his wife was sick with a terminal illness trying to support him while also carrying for his two young children and adult daughter. But I don't think so.

    There are very few women who would dismiss all those issues as less important than their own selfish agenda. This was not some great love affair; if it were he would be with this person now.

    You suggest Elizabeth's book will detail the whole dirty truth of the affair. I know that is what the publisher is trying to suggest. Knowing what I have learned about Elizabeth Edwards over the years I doubt she would stoop so low. What would be the point? I think she cares more for her children than to let out all the ugly details for them to read, or, heaven forbid, hear about on the school playground.

    I expect the book to take the high road, as she always has, and be as eloquent as ever.

    Please forgive me if I have offended you or anyone else. That is not my intention, not in the least.

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  9. I could tell you didn't mean to offend, Anon. You're too literate and sincere. But still, you'd do better to limit your comments to THIS woman and THIS extramarital affair. When you start bringing in fertility drugs and how a "wild background" can have an impact on a woman's ability to have a child, or women "with an agenda," you have no idea what scabs you may be tearing off for other women who aren't the target of your anger.

    I believe Elizabeth Edwards will address the impact this affair has had on her family because I read her last book, cover to cover, more than once. She details her angry fights with God after Wade's death, her flirtations with insanity as she tried to heal from the loss and her own use of fertility drugs to conceive Jack and Emma Claire. Likewise, she talked about her cancer (which was in remission as she wrote Saving Graces) with the same savage honesty. She went places with that book others wouldn't have dared, and revealed her own weaknesses with tremendous candor. THAT'S why I'm confident she will share her take on the affair from her perspective. And that's how she helped me and -- I'm not exaggerating here -- helped change my life with her first book. At times it takes strength to be vulnerable and trust others with your pain -- that was my takeaway.

    I appreciate that you keep coming back to maintain the dialog here, and I respect you trying to come to terms with what happened to you in the past.

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  10. One Gal's musings - Why do you feel sorry for Rielle Hunter is my question to you? Women like Rielle would take your husband too if he's rich like Edwards and stupid to think he wouldn't get caught. I'm sure RH was behind setting him up for the National Enquirer because she wanted it to come out and to bust up his marriage. I read awhile back that Edwards is still seeing RH & Frances Quinn who had her first birthday on Friday, February 27. Elizabeth said last fall that her children are now her first priority. Elizabeth also said they all have had to make adjustments in their lives - I think she's married in name only - who would want to go through a nasty divorce at this point in her life.

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  11. Stand Up Guy -- Read my original post again. I said why I feel sorry for her. Perhaps you are so blinded by anger that you missed it.

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  12. I'll agree there are only losers in this mess. Looks like someone has sold more of the story again to the National Enquirer. Rielle must need money or is drawing battle lines with Elizabeth's book coming out in May? I feel really bad for Elizabeth and her kids. Rielle could have ended this by taking Edwards to court for child support and not with all the attention. Just my opinion but, Rielle "made her bed" but she obivously had an agenda - to be rich and famous. To bad the little girl is used like a pawn by her mother.

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