She has been in the hospital since about 9:00 last night! She isn't in any pain, but she can't breathe. She's on oxygen and receiving antibiotics. They've run a million tests (chest xray, urinalysis and an electrocardiogram) and they still don't really know what's wrong with her. She's even had a blood transfusion!I told her that, as of today, she no longer smokes.
It could be COPD. It could be her heart. It might be pneumonia. Emphysema is still being discussed. And all of these are exacerbated by her fucking cigs.
"I only smoke 6 a day. Maybe less." That's what she's been telling me for years. I always respond by saying if it's no big deal, then just stop. But my mother is very conflict averse. She'll say, "I will …" to avoid the argument, and light another cigarette.
Well now she's in the hospital. And I'm mad because she's my mommy and I still need her.
Okay, so it's alright to be mad and vent here, but be there for her. Bet she is scared! This just may be the wake up call for her, but it is really hard to quit cigarettes, they are so addicting.
ReplyDeleteHope it goes well for you and sending some healing thoughts your way.
I'll keep her in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother wouldn't stop smoking even as she carried around the oxygen tank with tubes up her nose. She continued until the day she was too sick to light the thing. I pray your mother is less stubborn and this will be a wake up call for her. It's so hard to watch someone you love not take care of themselves. It felt like she didn't care enough about us to stop. But I know she didn't see it that way and it was really her own issue, not a reflection of her family. My thoughts and prayers are with the both of you.
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