Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #55 -- Enduring Movie Cliches


THIRTEEN THINGS
YOU CAN ALMOST COUNT ON
SEEING AT
THE MOVIES


I love movies. I adore them when they’re good and still appreciate them when they’re bad. In honor of the Oscars this Sunday, I’ve put together an affectionate list of my13 favorite movie clichés.

If I wore a hat, I'd tip it to film critic Roger Ebert, who often included his favorites at the end of Ebert & Ropert At the Movies. I hope he gets well and returns to the set soon.

1. Prostitutes wear blonde dynel wigs. They are also young and beautiful, with perfect hygiene and hearts of gold.

2. When an old cop is paired with a young cop, it’s for the old timer’s last case before retirement. He’s usually the one who ends up dead.

3. In every gang of crooks, there’s always one who swears that this is his last crime, and right after this one, he’s going straight. It’s not uncommon for this guy to have a pregnant girlfriend of a wife who has convinced him to give up his evil ways. He’s usually the one who ends up dead.

4. Every town has a restaurant or pharmacy whose sign identifies it only as RESTAURANT or PHARMACY.

5. Everyone who goes grocery shopping comes home with a baguette that’s peeking out of the top the brown paper bag.

6. Workmen are forever carrying large panes of glass across crowded streets, and you can count on those panes being destroyed in a high speed chase.

7. When there’s an audition for singers or actors, the poor director must endure hours (or even days) of bad performers before being captivated by the very last one – whom he hires on the spot.

8. Every pretty popular girl has a less attractive but funnier best friend, just as every hot jock has a less athletic but funnier best friend.

9. Cats always have claws so they can land on someone’s shoulder or back and hang on.

10. Every single guy drinks beer from the bottle and every single woman eats ice cream from the carton. Usually while watching TV alone.

11. Teens left alone in the house will invariably have sex, and then hear a noise in the basement. Which they will unwisely investigate and then end up dead.

12. Retail personnel, ticket agents, maitre d’s and administrative assistants are all officious and obstructionist.

13. Flight attendants are always young and beautiful, while pilots are always handsome and distinguished.

Place your link in the comments and I'll add you here:
1) Nicholas rubs elbows with the rich and famous
2) SJR offers up an amazing potpourri
3) Natalie shares favorite podcasts
4) Buck Naked Politics has an artsy, visual TT
5) Lori reveals what most of us are looking for in a mate
6) No Nonsense Girl is a woman in charge of her TV remote
7) Sandy has an inspirational TT
8) Missy's TT is all about Egyptologists
9) Sanni shares her favorite spam
10) Lady Rose renews our will to blog
11) CQ has some sweet, and some funny, quotes on raising wee ones
12) Monday Thru Sunday has a delightful TT devoted to chocolate
13) Susan Helene Gottfried introduces us to a new band!
14) Dane explains it all, and in a very entertaining way.
15) Skittles shows us a new take on an old keyboard
16) Xakara's TT is … well … you just have to see it for yourself
17) Bethany takes us around Europe
18) Dallas Meowed answers questions as only she can!
19) Lynne helps us brush up on our driving skills.
20) Brenda fills us in about email
21) Harlekwin dreams of a new car
22) Katie has a lyrical TT
23) Barbara brings us up to date
24) Bermudabluez has a wonderfully random TT
25) Mama Bear has definite (and, I think, 100% correct) opinions on AI
26) Diana has had a varied employment history
27) Sarai takes a new look at her resolutions


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36 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:18 PM

    All of them so absolutely correct!

    Did you notice the old. old cloche in the first episode of "Chuck" last fall? He had to defuse a bomb, and he managed to do it with just 2 seconds to go! Wow! How original! And as they always do, the bad guys had equipped the bomb with a digital timer, to tell people exactly how much time they had left to defuse it.

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  2. I love movie cliches, especially in westerns.

    SJR
    The Pink Flamingo
    http://thepinkflamingo.blogharbor.com/blog

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  3. Anonymous7:03 PM

    So true. Funny!

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  4. Anonymous7:11 PM

    Very true and very funny. My URL is http://bucknakedpolitics.typepad.com/buck_naked_politics/2008/02/tt-24-13-photos.html

    I did photos of paintings this week: drop on by!

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  5. Boy, aint that the truth?? What happened to the TT site? I couldnt post my blog?? Happy TT:)

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  6. yup, that's right girl. :)

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  7. No. 8 always gets me! Wonder what would happen if two homely but nice guys got together! Could there be a movie about the rest of us?

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  8. Anonymous8:10 PM

    LOL Those are all so true. Great list, thanks for sharing.

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  9. HAHAHAHA! That´s hilarious - and true!

    You made my day. Thanks for the good laugh!

    T 13: All about SPAM

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  10. Anonymous8:28 PM

    fun list

    my tt is up at - 13 reasons to blog at http://dietpulpit.com

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  11. hahaha...you're absolutely right! :o)

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  12. If a good guy/gal dies..the day of the funeral it is raining..if it is a bad guy..it is a beautiful day.

    Great list..so true!

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  13. Yeah, and a lot of books feature similar things, especially the about-to-retire cop. I've drifted away from movies; hope it doesn't happen with books or I'll have nothing to do!

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  14. I guess you've saved me a lot of time watching movies. Now I've basically seen them all!

    http://chocolateaftersupper.blogspot.com/

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  15. Excellent list. To go along with the senior cop paired with a younger partner, it also seems like during a chase scene, the older cop will say "I'm too old for this".

    I don't know if you have it, but Roger Ebert came out with a really good book called "Ebert's Bigger Little Movie Glossary". It feat. movie cliches', stereotypes, hackneyed formulas, etc. Here is the ISBN: 0836282892.

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  16. lol! These are so very true. Amazing... just amazing! I wonder if we could handle it if they were different - you know? Would we freak?

    Happy TT!

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  17. Don't forget the odd man out, who usually is some poor brother(African American) whose only purpose is to die horribly so we see how the monster works.

    Well its number 68 for me this week. I answer 13 More Questions from the 100 Question Meme. Stop by if you get a chance.

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  18. Hahahaa! So true!

    When, oh when, will movie people stop going up those dark stairs? Or stop checking to see if so-and-so is really dead? :)

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  19. Anonymous3:36 AM

    Can I tell you how confused number 5 used to make me when I was little? I could never figure out what part of the store everyone got the bread from that stuck out of the bag, or why they always had either what looked like loose parsley or carrots with perfect green tops to stick out along side it.LOL

    Great list that brought a smile to last the night.

    ~X

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  20. Wow, what truth!! Definitely interesting to think about-- someone should make a movie that doesn't have any of these and see what happens!! My TT is up as well:)

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  21. So true! Happy TT!

    Mine is here: http://blog.mysocalledsite.com/?p=240
    13 Funny jokes about men!

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  22. Anonymous11:02 AM

    great list - hubby and I are big movie goers he'll enjoy this list too

    happy tt

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  23. Anonymous11:14 AM

    What a great list! Very inciteful. I've always wondered why the prositutes in movies are always so very pretty and have the best hair!

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  24. How funny ... thinking about movies I've seen, I have to conclude you're right. Great post.

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  25. I learned everything I needed to know about being #12 by watching movies!

    This was a great list.... hmmm, do you watch many movies?

    Happy TT and thank you for the chuckles.

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  26. Anonymous12:33 PM

    Hahahaha, this is a great list!! :)
    Happy Thursday!

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  27. Anonymous12:43 PM

    Need some help getting clean now that you went and got your pretty self all dirty with the Hatchet?

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  28. Great TT! All these things you've listed are SO true! It is like on Walker, Texas Ranger, who always happens up at the right time, no matter where the spot happens to be! LOL.f

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  29. Terrific movie cliches....you always put so much research in to your posts! It amazes me!

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  30. http://cafeendofuniverse.blogspot.com/2008/02/thursday-thirteen-21-pop-culture.html

    Excellent TT and all so darn true.

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  31. Oh how true these are! Interesting list!

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  32. There are nothing wrong with cliches they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
    Have a great week

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  33. LOL - I never thought about this but you are correct!

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  34. Great list. Also - everyone wakes up with beautifully mussed hair, no goop in their eyes, and minty fresh kissable breath.

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  35. Anonymous9:05 AM

    #5! Or in Michael Clayton, a whole bag of baguettes! Wilkinson's character was terrific.

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