My depression ebbs and flows. When I'm sad, it's a strong emotion, leaving me feeling like this lighthouse: isolated, irrelevant, and with few resources to help me stand up to the powerful forces of nature. Then it passes, and I feel like slapping myself. "What's with the self pity, Gal? This is, after all, YOUR life! If you don't like it, change it!" Of course, that healthy helping self loathing doesn't necessarily help, either.Today I did do something productive, which gave me some respite from the "pushmi-pullu/I'm so blue-stop whining" whiplash. I took 4 pullovers, 2 purses, a blanket and a dozen plastic hangars over to the Goodwill store. It was not only a good deed, it freed up a little room in my armoire. Now I'm going to FINALLY hem those black slacks.
In addition to distracting myself from my whiny, slothful existence, I should also try some more positive self talk. This is not real, it's hormones. My life is fine. I have a job I'm good at, my finances are in decent shape, I still have my mom, my incredibly adorable cats are healthy, I've got a lot of diverse friends in my life … and my period is almost over.
Now where's that needle and thread?
((((((hugs)))))
ReplyDeleteBeen there, done that, bought the tshirt... When I'm PMSing, I'm a mess, just before my period, I feel like this and I'm a bitch.
((((hugs))))
This too shall pass.
Hmmm - I can see you as the lighthouse, but not lonely and/or desolate. I see you standing straight and tall - a comfort to those around you - always willing, eager and able to help guide your friends in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is ALWAYS the first one that I read - well, I always check the kids' first, so that makes you fourth. I guess my kids do have first priority. But I do so enjoy reading what you have to say!! Snowbird
Thank you both! Your support helps.
ReplyDeleteNo Nonsense, I appreciate you reminding me that I'm not the only one who wrestles with this, and that this this, too, will pass.
Snowbird, I love your description of me. I'm not sure I always live up to it, but it was wonderful, wonderful to hear.