Did I just hear this?

I just heard my President take questions from the press -- including a reporter from Fox News, who is not exactly predisposed to agree with him.

He spoke without notes. He didn't resort to name-calling.He said things like, "Correct me if I'm wrong ..." He only spoke about the upcoming impeachment trial when asked about it.

He didn't talk about himself or proclaim his greatness. He talked about us and things that effect us.

Ladies and gentlemen, there's a statesman in charge!

I know, I know. There are those who insist Joe Biden is "slow." Those people, I am quite sure, won't watch his press conferences. To borrow from Paul Simon, "a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest."*

But still, I'm sure he'll keep doing "the pressers." I don't expect all of us to agree, nor should we, but it's a relief to hear the decency, the civility, and the attention he gives to the people's business.

*I read his predecessor's tweets. I watched his rallies. I listened to his briefings. Donald Trump worked hard to earn my contempt.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Why Did I Choose You? (1965)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Barbra Streisand reassures her lover that, if she had it all to do again, she would still choose him. Tell us about a decision you've made that you never, ever regretted. Adopting my furry roommates. You can shop at pet stores, breeders, Craigslist, etc. Or you can adopt from a shelter and save a life. I'm proud I rescued my cats and gave them a good home, and have never for one moment wished I'd taken another route.

 

2) The music was composed by Michael Leonard, who studied classical music at Julliard and the Handel Conservatory of Music in Munich. Do you often listen to classical music? Nope.

3) The lyrics were written by Herbert Martin. He taught music in the NYC public school system and during the summer worked in summer stock. That's how he met and began collaborating with Michael Leonard. Tell us how you met someone important in your life. Frank had enough of shoveling snow from his driveway so his wife, Rose, searched for an apartment not far from his office. It wasn't an easy task, as there weren't many apartment buildings in our town. They settled in Apt. #6, across the alley from my family's ranch house. Frank and Rose brought their little girl into my neighborhood, my Kindergarten class, my backyard and my life. She's been my best friend ever since. That was 58 years ago.

 

4) Ms. Streisand was a very good student, graduating fourth in her class at Erasmus Hall High School when she was only 16. One of Barbra's classmates was Neil Diamond. Do you have a favorite Neil Diamond song? I suppose "Sweet Caroline." (Though his version doesn't include the, "So good! So good! So good!" chant.)

5) While she didn't go on to college, she continued her education by attending two different acting schools simultaneously. Did you enjoy being a student? No. I have always had an issue with arriving on time and then being told what to do. I think I might be one of those students who enjoys remote learning.

 

6) Barbra and her first husband, Elliott Gould, shared a New York apartment over a 5th Avenue restaurant called Oscar's Salt of the Sea. Elliott originated the role of Trapper John in the movie M*A*S*H. On TV, the role of Trapper was played by Wayne Rogers. Can you think of another role that's been played by more than one actor? Over the years, Bewitched had two Darrins. I preferred the original.

 

I think Two Darrins would be a good name for a band.

 7) Oscar's Salt of the Sea has ties to Sesame Street. Jim Henson loved their food and was amused by how inhospitable the owner, Oscar, could be. That's how Oscar the Grouch got his name. Which is your favorite Muppet? Beaker. Enjoy him performing "Ode to Joy."

 

 

 

8) Back to Barbra ... She is a successful recording artist (nominated for 45 Grammy awards, winning 8) and an Oscar-winning actress, but she's suffered career disappointments, too. In 2010, she read the book Hidden Figures and tried to buy the rights so she could direct the film version. She lost out to fellow Brooklynite, director Theodore Melfi. In 2016, his movie of Hidden Figures was released. Did you see the movie or read the book? Yes. I saw it in the theater. God! How I miss going to the movies!

9) Random question: Your best friend takes up painting and proudly presents her first framed work to you. You think it's atrocious. Would you hang it in your home anyway? Sure. At least when she comes over.

 

 

Running on a continuous loop

I can't help it. The classic movie lover in me kept thinking of this as I watched the Bidens march up Pennsylvania Avenue. I even caught myself singing it into my refrigerator as I contemplated what I'd have for lunch.

Tears. Finally.

 

Those lights on the reflecting pool memorialize the 400,000 dead of the coronavirus. 400,000 of our fellow Americans. According to the VA, 405,000 American servicemen died in WWII. That was between 1941 and 1945. We're still dying of covid at this startling rate without yet hitting the one-year anniversary.

This country is not, as former President Trump kept insisting, "rounding the corner." We are in the thick of it. We are suffering. We are dying. To paraphrase Illinois' governor, we're losing both our lives and our livelihoods. 

Until this week, I've been scared and angry. "Rounding the corner," my ass! My guts were water, I was unable to work, I had a bloody rash on my ankle ... this went on for more than a month! Beginning in December. When my community was facing record case numbers and my President was diminishing me in his zeal to convince us all that he deserved to stay in office even after he lost the election.

My oldest friend in SoCal was suffering from it at the same time. Her case was not as severe as mine, but that's in no way a complaint! She is a diabetic and a heart patient. People with her underlying conditions die from this. Like me, she was part of the post-Thanksgiving surge. I wonder how many people had conventional family get-togethers because they assumed their President was telling them the truth about "rounding the corner."

I just found out that my Cousin Rose, who lives near Tampa, received her corona virus diagnosis on Christmas Eve. Her letter reports that she is on the mend, but she is 70+ years old and lives alone. She admits she was terrified. For the first time in her life, she had to depend on others for help ... and while her much loved grandnephew pitched in with grocery and drugstore runs, she was unable to let him in. The sense of vulnerability remains with her as she recovers. And, I cannot emphasize this enough, my Cousin Rose has always been one of the most independent women I've ever known. She was a geography teacher until she was in her mid-30s and spent every summer vacation on the road, traveling first the country and Puerto Rico and then the world (specifically Mexico and Guatemala) and then convincing her bosses to allow her to change her lesson plan so she could use her slides. The corona virus has robbed her, at least for now, of her feisty sense of self.

A friend lost her great aunt to the corona virus. Another friend lost her father. Yes, Auntie was in her 90s and Dad was in his 80s. But they were unable to have the traditional funeral services that would have salved their souls.

So I've been mad. Furious. With nowhere to put my anger. Oh, I've prayed. I have let the Lord know I am grateful that I can still work from home, that I have a good doctor, that I am lucky enough to live in Chicagoland, where I received prompt attention from the healthcare system and support from local government.

But I hadn't cried. When I saw this memorial, I welled up. I was overwhelmed by how much I felt beyond the fear and anger. I miss going downtown. I miss seeing my friends. I miss going to the movies. I miss my life. I am sick of selfish dumb asses who are antivax and antimask and are willing to risk the nation's health and strength over a misconceived political spat.* 

I am tired of this pandemic. Right through to my bone marrow. And I see it isn't over and we all have be stronger longer, even as we are tired.

My weariness is garden variety. I know my feelings are shared by millions upon millions of my fellow Americans, many of whom have suffered far more than I have. Knowing that the exhaustion is pervasive doesn't help.

But crying did. Mourning did. Acknowledging pain and hurt but then continuing on doesn't make us weak. In fact, it's made this gal stronger in a way that pretending we're "rounding the corner" never could. I am facing the next few months with a more peaceful outlook, because I was able to turn my rage into pain and then really acknowledge it. Honor it.

 

 

*Why aren't they offended by "No shirt, no shoes, no service" signs? Because Q wears a shirt? What fools!

Let's show the world who we really are

 

Broken Brains

I have two friends who simply are not who they were on this day in 2018. It isn't their fault. Kathy is suffering from some form of undiagnosed dementia, and Henry is still feeling the after effects of the collision between his bike and a Chevy Van.

I struggle with how to deal with them. For while the situations they find themselves in are not their fault, I am frustrated by how they are coping (or not coping) with their mental health issues. I want to hang on, want to remain close to both of them, but I'm vexed.

Kathy. She sent me a text, saying that if I'm "bored" I should call. I wasn't bored, but I figured she might be feeling isolated so I called her. She didn't pick up. My honest reaction? That I'd dodged a bullet. 

She called me back and asked me what TV shows I've been watching lately. I told her I'd just finished a sexy, suspenseful old thriller called Night Must Fall (1937). I'd never seen it, never heard of it before, but really enjoyed it.

"Why did you watch it?" she asked.

"It was introduced by my favorite TCM host, Eddie Muller, so ..."

"What is a TCM host?" she interrupted.

Kathy knows I went to the TCM Film Festival in 2019. I sent her a postcard. We talked about it when I got home. But she forgot. That's OK.

"TCM is Turner Classic Movies. It's my favorite cable channel. Hosts introduce the movies and ..."

"You know I don't have cable! I can't watch this TCM!" She sounded annoyed with me. I was only telling her about this because she asked. Moments ago. Had she forgotten that, too? 

We segued to Covid. She has been very thoughtful during my battle with the virus and I'm grateful. She asked if I was going to get the vaccine and I said of course. I trust my own physician and I trust Dr. Fauci. I mentioned his work with AIDS and she said, "What's that?" I thought she meant she didn't know Fauci had been an early AIDS researcher. No. She forgot what acquired immunodeficiency syndrome is. This is scary.

Then she tells me -- as she always does -- that she once, recently had a brain problem but it fixed itself. She insists she won't discuss it with a doctor because she's fine now. She knows she's not fine. She must be terrified.

She has Medicare. She could be checked at little or no cost. She might have a thyroid problem or a vitamin deficiency. But she chooses to live like this.

An hour talking to Kathy feels like two. It's frustrating and depressing.

Henry. He and his husband Reg are fighting again. Henry maintains Reg doesn't understand him, doesn't fight for him when the world is against him as "a brown gay man in Trump's America." I don't dispute that President Trump made people more comfortable with their biogtry. But I don't think people who are predisposed to discriminate against gays or Hispanics would move to Key West. Plus, Henry had an unfortunate penchant for blaming dark conspiracies when things go wrong in his life, even before the accident. His TBI has only exacerbated this.

Reg gets short-tempered. He is exhausted and feels underappreciated. I understand. Henry is completely unreasonable at times. But they say cruel things to one another, things that would make your blood run cold.

But they are both at fault. Henry now has a neurologist that he likes, trusts and won't see. He also has a therapist that he likes, trusts and won't see. The problem, you see, is not him. It's the bigoted coworkers and customers he encounters every day in Trump's America.

There are online support groups Reg could consult. He could enjoy the comfort of sharing with other caregivers who truly understand the challenges he faces. He won't do it. "I feel like Henry is my responsibility," he says.

They cling so tightly to their problems that Henry and Reg now identify themselves, and one another, by them. Henry sees himself as a victim because no one understands him. Reg sees himself as a victim because he has a husband who, because of a traumatic brain injury, both hates him and depends on him. They seem almost frightened to break this cycle and get help.

Me. I am happy every time the phone rings and it isn't Kathy or Henry. I know everyone is doing the best they can, and I love them, but they exhaust me. Add my oldest friend -- who is battling clinical depression -- and I just want to hide. 

I have to be more patient, less judgemental. I also have to allow myself the space to not pick up. I'm beginning to feel depleted. I can't be there for my friends if I don't have anything to give them.

SUNDAY STEALING

 

A to Z

A - Annoyance: That my work laptop is piece of shit

B - Bestest Friend[s]: My oldest friend

C - Car: None

D - Day or night: Depends

E- Easiest person to talk to: My oldest friend

F - Favorite Month: October, if the Cubs are in it

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Neither. I'm an old lady with crowns on her teeth.

H - Hair Color: Light brown

I - Ice Cream: Mint chocolate chip

J - Jewelry: I don't wear my rings or watch since the pandemic to protect them from sanitizer

K - Kindergarten: I remember my teacher was quite beautiful and able to play piano

L - Longest Car Ride: Chicago to Fort Lauderdale with Cousin Rose and her friend Natalie (close to three days)

M - Most missed person: My uncle

N - Number of Siblings: Two

O - One regret:  No brother, only sisters

 
P- Part of your appearance you like least: My chins. All of them.

Q- Quote: Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. (Updated for today: Quit bitching about restrictions because of the pandemic. Staying home and wearing a mask are, literally, the least you can do for your country, you benighted, selfish fuck.)

R - Reality TV Show: I don't really have one. Back in the olden days, I was hooked on The Real World on MTV. That was back in the 1990s.

The San Francisco cast was my favorite

S - Shoe: I admit it. Since the pandemic, now that I'm home all the time, I've been wearing my Crocs. Don't judge me.

T - Time you woke up: 8:00

U - Unpredictable: Chicago weather

V - Vegetable you hate: Peppers

W- Worst Habits: Sloth

X - X-Rays: In 2020, I had dental x-rays and a mammogram.

Y - Year you were born: 1957

Z - Zoom: Where I can be found most weekdays

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Thank U, Next (2018)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Ariana Grande thanks her former boyfriends for what they taught her about love, life, patience and pain. Do you believe you have learned more from your successes, or your mistakes? My successes. I'm afraid I don't learn from my mistakes because I seem to make the same ones repeatedly.

 

2) One of the young men mentioned in the song is Pete Davidson, a cast member of Saturday Night Live. SNL has been on for more than 45 years now. Who is your all-time favorite cast member? Chicago's very own Bill Murray. For obvious reasons.

 

3) Thinking of funny people ... As you can see from the video, Ariana performed "Thank U, Next" on Ellen Degeneres' talk show. Ellen makes people laugh every afternoon. Who in your life can you always count on to make you laugh or smile? My oldest friend.

 

4) It looks like Ariana Grande's personal romantic saga will have a happy ending because at Christmastime, she announced her engagement. Do you know anyone who is getting married in 2021? My oldest friend's son is getting married in the spring.

5) Ariana loves Harry Potter and named her dogs Snape, Lily and Sirius Black after characters in the J.K. Rowling books. Are you a Harry Potter fan? Nope.

6) She loves board games, especially Monopoly. Sam isn't crazy about Monopoly because it takes so long. How about you? Are you a Monopoly fan? Nope.

 
7) In 2018, the year this song was released, Toys R Us closed all its stores and went out of business. Who received the last toy you purchased? What was it? My older niece had a baby boy in 2020. When I sent the baby gift, I included a doll for her older daughter, so Big Sister wouldn't feel overlooked. The doll has its own bathing suit, towel and inflatable bath toy. It was quite a hit, though she sleeps with it instead of taking it into the tub with her.

8) Also in 2018, Aretha Franklin died. What's your favorite Aretha song?

 

9) Random question: Are you more likely to shed a tear at a wedding or during a movie? A movie.

 

I'm a Mazurki Maniac

Do you know Letterboxd? It's like Goodreads, but for movies. You can log each movie you watched, rate it, note where/why you viewed it. Like Goodreads, it tabulates your personal year-end stats. 

In 2020, I saw 126 films. 

•  My favorites were (no surprise) The Way We Were and Casablanca. I predict they will be my favorites in 2021, too.

•  I didn't like The First Lady or Mame (sorry, Lucy).

•  The one that I appreciated most that also got a high rating from the rest of the Letterboxd community was Joker.

•  The one that I liked less than the rest of the Letterboxd community was Vertigo.

And here's my favorite stat. My most-watched stars of 2020 were:

•  Cary Grant

•  Robert Redford

•  James Stewart

•  Gene Kelly

•  Mike Mazurki

MIKE MAZURKI? Never once in 2020 did I curl up, grab the remote and think, "I need me some Mike Mazurki." And yet I watched more Mike Mazurki movies than I did Elvis, or Judy Garland, or Katharine Hepburn. 

So, Mike Mazurki, let me shine a spotlight on your career. Because of his 6'5 frame, square face and husky voice, he was almost always cast as a gangster or a bully. When his career as a professional wrestler tanked, he tried his hand at acting. In addition to movies from the 40s and 50s, he played his share of bad guys on TV shows in the 60s and 70s -- everything from Mr. Ed to Gunsmoke. Never a star, but always a presence, he worked regularly for more than 50 years. He never actually retired and was still appearing on TV and in music videos when he died of heart failure in 1990. Friends and coworkers recall that he was nothing like the characters he played, that he always had a book in his hand and was very witty in conversation.

As for me, thanks for being a bright spot in an otherwise shitty 2020, Mike Mazurki!

How can he be sick?

 

Reynaldo seems so content these days! He loves watching the goings on in our home from the safety and comfort of his new favorite box. His appearances in my Zoom meetings are so popular that so far this week, he's received shout outs from both a coworker and a member of my movie group.

Yet my little old man has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. All the symptoms are there -- vomiting, nervousness (no shit, he gets upset every time I leave the apartment, even if it's just to take out the garbage), increased thirst, weight loss -- and the blood work confirmed it.

After consulting with the vet and checking my options online, we're going to treat his condition, not cure it. Reynaldo is 17 years old. (The average life expectancy of an indoor cat is 12-16 years.) With regular medication, he could live three more years. Surgery or radiation could eradicate the disease, but they are more complicated for me and more taxing for him, and he likely wouldn't live beyond age 20 anyway. Of course, if the medication doesn't work, or if there are side effects, surgery and radiation are still on the table. 

The most important thing is his comfort. He deserves to always feel safe and content.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

 

1. What are you currently reading? Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married by Marian Keyes. Lucy and three of her friends visited a fortune teller and, when her friends' prophecies come true, it appeared Lucy just might get married as predicted. What lucky bloke will get to be Mr. Lucy Sullivan? Lucy was skeptical about the whole thing. Not only hadn't she located Mr. Right, she didn't even have anyone to date. Yet after the psychic reading, her friends view every man Lucy meets, no matter how inappropriate, as Lucy's possible life mate.

 

The story is told from Lucy's point-of-view and she's good company. She describes herself as an ordinary girl with brown curls, a mass of freckles and a good sense of humor. At 26, she doesn't take herself, or her career, or much else very seriously. She considers weekdays merely as the time spent between weekends partying with her friends. I like her. (I was her.)

Yes, this is chick-lit. But after the heavy book I recently finished, this could be just what the doctor ordered. I've read Marian Keyes before and know I can depend on her for warm, relatable characters who face life with openness, generosity and humor.

   

2. What did you recently finish reading? Marina and Lee by Priscilla Johnson McMillan. The title couple is the Oswalds, who blazed into American history via the trigger of a rifle. Ms. McMillan is uniquely qualified to tell this story. She worked for Senator John F. Kennedy and was friendly enough with the boss to visit him in the hospital after his 1955 back surgery. He was  buoyant despite the pain, sharing his hospital bed with a giant Howdy Doody Doll. His room was always filled with people, even though the nurses were under strict orders to limit his visitors to immediate family. Fortunately, he had eight siblings, so he could plausibly assure the staff that every woman who entered his room was a sister.  

 

Then, in 1959, McMillan became a journalist assigned to the Moscow bureau. She spent five hours interviewing a young American defector named Lee Harvey Oswald. This makes her one of the few people -- perhaps the only one -- to have conversed at length with both the President and his assassin.

 

Ms. McMillan prepared for the book with months of interviews with Marina. The portrait that emerges is tragic, unpleasant, ridiculous. Two damaged souls came together, a chance meeting at a dance in Minsk, and the results were combustible and, improbably, changed the world. 

 

It's a tough read. Marina is shallow, willful and immature. You can understand why: as an illegitimate child in Soviet Russia, she was unwanted and emotionally abused. Lee is secretive, self-important and entitled. You can understand why: his father died before he was born, leaving him alone with a mother who can best be described as a horror show. Marguerite Oswald is the villain of this piece. The way she controlled and suffocated her son reminded me of Norman Bates' mother in Psycho. 

So as well-researched and well-written as it is, this is not a book I recommend. Marina and Lee are both intensely unlikable. It's hard to plow through more than 600 pages when there are no sympathetic characters. As their marriage deteriorated into an ugly cycle of workplace failure, financial strife, sexual dysfunction and beatings, Lee became more determined to be noticed by the world. To make history. God help us all, that was the one goal he achieved.

3. What will read next?  I don't know.

81 Days!

According to Commissioner Rob Manfred, the Cubs 2021 season will start on time on April 1 and will include a full 162 games. Rizz and I are thrilled!

via GIPHY

 

"Let's GO!"

As soon as I took the carrier out of the closet, Reynaldo jumped in. If we're going somewhere, let's GO!

And so we went to the vet. After a quick once-over, the vet declared that Rey is not in any imminent danger -- YEA! -- but agrees that something may be bedeviling him. So blood was drawn. It should reveal whether the problem is his kidneys, his thyroid, or something else.

If the vet were a betting man, he'd put his money on hypothyroidism. While serious, with potential impact on all Rey's organs, it's also easiest to treat.

Fingers crossed that we can find a way to keep my little man happy, engaged and comfortable for as long as we can.

He said this. All of this.

Here's the transcript of what our President said to the rally just before his supporters marched up the street to the Capitol. It's filled with personal attacks, spite and animus. It's really jaw dropping. At the 31:50 mark, even Justice Kavanaugh gets special attention.

And, oh, the baseless conspiracy theories he keeps perpetuating! There is no evidence that any of these things happened. None. Or if there is, President Donald J. Trump has the worst legal team ever, because of the 62 individual lawsuits, filed in both state and federal courts, 61 failed.

So he lied, slandered and incited. He whipped up this crowd and encouraged them to walk up the street to the Capitol, because, in his own words, "You'll never take back our country with weakness. You have to be strong." 

And this really bugs me. While the President exhorts the angry crowd to "demand Congress do the right thing," he promises, "We're going to walk down and I'll be there with you." The coward did not go with them. He knew it was going to be ugly and he didn't want to get hurt. Cadet Bonespurs to the end.

Here he is, the man some of your neighbors still admire. Many of those who still embrace and support this man love to quote Scripture. Well, let me take my turn:

The Lord tests the righteous, but the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates. Psalm 11

Deliver me, Lord, from evil men. Preserve me from violent men. Psalm 13

Yes, just because I'm patriotic enough to celebrate the separation of Church and State doesn't mean I don't pray. If you're still supporting this dishonest, cowardly, violent President, perhaps in addition to listening to his words, you should look at your own faith.

SUNDAY STEALING

JANUARY

1. What are your plans for January? I don't know that I have any! I was sick throughout December and while I'm on the mend, it's not unusual for me to be in my jammies and under the covers by 5:00.
 

2. What do you want to see happen in 2021? I want my cat to stay well. I'm taking Reynaldo to the vet tomorrow afternoon. I'm worried because he's old (17 in April, or 84 in human years) and he's shown a tendency toward kidney trouble. He's beside me as I write this. He's beside me all the time! Still very lively and sociable. But I'm seeing signs that remind me we're coming to the end of our time together. I want him to feel good and to know he's loved for as long as possible. (PS I also love my girl cat, Connie, too, but she's 8 and so her health is not an immediate concern.)
 
3. What would you give a 5 star rating? These two! So far they have been focused on healing and action. How will we get vaccines distributed and administered? How will we help businesses recover from the devastating effects of the mismanaged pandemic? How do we restore our reputation among our allies? How can we address domestic terrorism? (The display Trump supporters put on in the Capitol reminds me that, before 9/11, the most deadly terrorist act on these shores was committed by Timothy McVeigh. Angry, entitled white boys who don't get their way scare the shit out of me.) After four years of Trump's petty name-calling, self-absorption and incompetence, it's a delight to hear Joe and Kamala talk about us for a change. 

 

 
4. Do you have writing goals for 2021? I write for a living, so my goal is to just keep on keeping on for another year.
 
5. How do you feel about memoirs? Depends on whose they are.
 
6. If you could join any musical group who would you choose? I wouldn't. I can't carry a note in a bucket.
 
7. What are your favorite genres across all media? I enjoy all manner of entertainment. I like biographies, romance, comedy, mystery ... I just don't like sci-fi or fantasy. I also don't like epics.
 
8. What candle scents are your favorite? I don't have candles around here. But I do enjoy cinnamon, apple and lavender air freshener.
 
9. How well can you mimic other accents or voices? No.
 
10. What books are on your TBR list in 2021? There are two books I'm thinking of rereading: The Great Gatsby and David Nasaw's biography of Joseph Kennedy.

 
11. When do you decide it’s time to upgrade/buy something new? When I'm forced to.
 
12. Why is your favorite color your favorite color? I love Cubbie blue. It's the color of my team.

 
13. Who understands you the best? My oldest friend.
 
14. Do you write letters? Yes. My Cousin Rose and I exchange old-school, handwritten letters, and I have a prison penpal through a church program.
 
15. How do you keep going when times are hard? Faith. Faith in God, faith that it will all get better. January 20 is just 10 days away. We just have to hang on!

 

 

Looking somehow less arrogant

President Donald Trump has never hidden his misogyny. Remember when Megyn Kelly asked him why he publicly dismissed women as “fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals?" He complained that her question -- not his behavior -- wasn't appropriate, not from a woman who had "blood coming out of her eyes and blood coming out of her wherever."* He was not yet President. Somehow, as a nation, we decided that this attitude was acceptable in our Commander in Chief.

It's no surprise that his supporters have been emboldened. After all, if Donald Trump, holding those views, could run for the highest office in the land and win, why shouldn't they say what they're thinking? Women in power are uppity emasculating bitches. They deserve to be brought down a peg, and in the most vulgar way possible.

So I don't know why it wounded me so to see this man, Richard Barnett, bragging about how he violated a successful woman's space. During the Capitol riot, he broke into Nancy Pelosi's office and, he told us, sat at her desk and proudly "scratched his balls." Then he left her a "nasty note," in which he referred to her as "Nancy, you bitch." He left a quarter on her desk, "even though she ain't fucking worth it."

Richard Barnett is one of those Donald Trump referred to as "very special" and said, "We love you." 

I would not have recognized him in his mug shot. Apparently, being in FBI custody is something of a buzz kill.

*I heard that live. I was scrolling through my DVR, deleting things, with Don Lemon's CNN show on in the background. I thought, "Did I just hear that? Did he just say that?"

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: All Shook Up (1957)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

Chosen because January 8 is the anniversary of Elvis Presley's birth.

1) In this song, Elvis shares quite a list of maladies: he's itching, his hands are shaky, his knees are weak, he has chills ... How are you feeling this morning? My gut is still rather reactionary, but that's the last remnant of my battle with the corona virus.

2) He also mentions being "tongue tied." The dictionary defines it as, "unable to speak freely, as from shyness." Do you often find yourself tongue tied? Never. I'm naturally blabby.

3) Even after he was wealthy, Elvis never lived away from his parents. At one point Graceland Mansion was home to four generations of the family: his grandmother, his father and stepmother, Elvis, his wife and daughter. Have you ever lived in a multi-generational household? No.

4) Thinking of family, Elvis Presley was a distant cousin of President Jimmy Carter. Both of their family trees can be traced back to the 18th century and Thomas Preslar (before the surname was changed to Presley in the early 1800s). Have you traced your ancestry? If not, is it something you'd like to do? No. To be honest, I don't much care. It's a passion of my Cousin Rose's, and I love listening to her discuss it because of her joy and enthusiasm. But for myself? Eh.

 

5) As an adult, Elvis never wore denim (except for a movie role). That's because when he was in school, his classmates teased him for "dressing poor" in jeans and coveralls. Is denim a big part of your wardrobe today?

I don't think a week's gone by in the last 50 years that I haven't worn jeans. For a long time, I was an Old Navy girl. Now that I'm a portly old lady, my brand of choice is "Amanda" by Gloria Vanderbilt.

 6) Before becoming famous, Elvis drove a truck in and around Memphis. Have you ever had a job that kept you behind the wheel most of the day? Nope.

7) In 1957, the year this song was a hit, the Allstate Mechanical Freight Set was popular, too. Kids would wind up the engine and watch it pull two cars and a caboose around the track. To enhance the realism, sparks would shoot from the engine's smoke stack as it rumbled by. Did you ever play with a toy train? If not, tell us about a childhood plaything you remember fondly. My grandparents had a train around their Christmas tree, so I played with that one every holiday season. But Barbie was a real favorite. She and I were great pals. We had such glamorous adventures.

8) The best-selling book of 1957 was Peyton Place, a scandalous tale of life in a small New England town. Do you suppose there are enough steamy stories behind closed doors in your town to fill a novel? Yes. And I bet there are in your town, too.

9) Random question: Can you do 10 push ups? Ha! No.

 

Joy and respite

Today would be Elvis' 86th birthday. It's Friday. I'm weary from a busy week at work and a sad and sorry week in Donald Trump's America. I want it to be 12:01 PM on January 20. I'm tired of being tired and afraid. 

And so I turn to The King. I'm watching King Creole again. It's cinematic mac and cheese, and I feel warm and happy. Thank you, Your Highness.

via GIPHY

Take heart! This happened, too.

 

I went to bed Tuesday night so happy. I'd spent the evening watching my beloved Steve Kornacki at The Big Board, and it was a good night for The Good Guys. Jon Ossoff and Rev. Raphael Warnock flipped the Senate.

I postcarded for Jon Ossoff. I did it in memory of my late blog buddy Book Mama, who introduced me to Postcards to Voters. Georgia is Blue. We did you proud, Andrea.

 

What he said

As I've always and often said on this blog, "Mitt Romney is a gentleman with whom I disagree on everything." But he is a gentleman, a patriot, and a Christian. I've seen no credible evidence that the current resident of the White House can claim any of those titles.

Today, when his nation needed him, Sen. Mitt Romney said this:

 

I don't pretend to know how Trump supporters or conspiracy theorists think, but I hope he speaks their language and that they hear him. 

 

Heartsick and disgusted

First, my President told his supporters that, "We will stop the steal!" He said, "After this [rally], we're going to walk down there, and I'll be there with you, we're going to walk down ... to the Capitol and we are going to cheer on our brave senators and congressmen and women. And we're probably not going to be cheering so much for some of them. Because you'll never take back our country with weakness. You have to show strength and you have to be strong."

He did not walk with them, of course. He is not strong or brave. 

His lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, told the same crowd that Wednesday was their opportunity settle their election "dispute" with "trial by combat."

Then this happened.

If these people were foreigners, we'd be calling them terrorists. If these people were Black, they'd be dead.

Later in the day, Donald Trump posted a video aimed at the mob he incited that says: "We love you."

No, Mr. President, "we" don't love them.  

Sunday Stealing

 THE END OF THE YEAR

 

First things first, did you have a good year? NO! However, there were bright spots. My niece was a beautiful bride in her small, safer wedding.After more than a decade, I've got a new supervisor and I adore him. With all due respect to The Who, the new boss is nothing like the old boss.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? I wore sweatpants more this year than I have in years gone by. I like the elastic ankle bands. I'm short and am so sick of hemming jeans and slacks.

What song sums up this year for you? I'm sorry but I've got nothing for this one. As for 2021, I'll go with this. New POTUS, new vaccine, new year, new hope.

What was your favorite movie of the year? I really enjoyed this documentary on Showtime.

 

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? Not really, but one did change my perception. Early this year, before everything shut down, I saw Marriage Story with Scarlett Johanssen. She's an actress I never had much use for before, but she was impressed me.

Favorite new TV show? I was hooked on Tiger King.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year? I refinanced my mortgage. 30 years. At this stage in my life, it doesn't get more permanent than that.

What was one nice thing you did for yourself? Replaced my air conditioners. My home was quieter and more comfortable this summer, and my electric bill actually went down.

Did you develop a new obsession? Masks, I suppose. I discovered a world of masks on Etsy and got special ones for just about everyone on my holiday gift list.

Did you move? No.

Did you get a pet? No.

Do you regret not doing anything? I regret not ignoring the improperly masked woman at the post office who needed help. It's a good guess that she's the one who gave me the corona virus.

Do you regret doing something? Similarly, I regret getting in line at the post office that day, and not just buying my holiday stamps from the vending machine. It's funny how a single, unimportant decision can have real consequences.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? Donald Trump and his lies about our free and fair election. Fifty nine (59!) different judges have thrown his cases out because there is no evidence of election fraud. His own attorney general agrees with the courts. And yet Trump spins and his supporters gullibly accept whatever he says, so the Republicans cynically pander. We're suffering through the nightmare of Joe McCarthy on a grander, more national scale and it's obscene.

Did you lose anyone close to you? No. (Knock wood.)

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? The corona virus!

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? Cologne. We're all wearing masks, so I no longer give a shit about fragrance.

What was the best moment of the year for you? Being included in my niece's wedding. The guest list went from 250 to 20, and the venue went from a reception hall to her new mother-in-law's deck. Yet she wanted me there. The spontaneous hug she enthusiastically gave me was beautiful. I'm so glad the wedding photographer caught the moment for me!

What was the worst? Getting my corona virus results.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? That many of Donald Trump's supporters will stand by him through anything. And he stands for nothing. It's a tragedy.

What do you wish for others for the coming year? That we open our eyes and our hearts and let old Joe remind us who we are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do you wish for yourself? Peace.

They've been there for me

  

When I think back on my battle with covid -- which is, blissfully, nearly over -- I will remember the comfort of Friends. In addition to Henry, Reg, Carla, Kathy, Joanna and all you blog buddies that I'm lucky to have in my life, I'm grateful to Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Monica, Joey and Phoebe. It's on every afternoon, for hours, on TBS. When my fatigue was at its worst, when I was just drifting in and out of wakefulness, there was something so reassuring about looking over and seeing their familiar faces, no matter how many times I dozed off.

This is not the first time the gang from Central Perk has come through for me. In 2011, when I had a hysterectomy, I vaguely recall waking up in the hospital ... the room was dark and I was disoriented ... my eyes fixed on the TV suspended from the ceiling and I reached for the remote and there they were! I fell back to sleep, reawoke in the dawn's gray light, and Friends had been replaced by a weather map and a traffic copter. I turned the TV off. The local news lacks their warmth.

Then, when I got home from the hospital and I was on pain meds, I turned again to Friends. When the medication wore off, the pain would wake me up. I'd take a dose and have an unpleasant half hour or so, waiting for the new pills to kick in. I couldn't read because the codeine messed with my vision and besides, I didn't want to think. I wanted to be amused by people who are pretty and nice.* 

Fast forward nine years, and Friends is still the tonic I need. I think Friends is the new I Love Lucy. My niece, in her mid-20s, has seen every episode of Friends and can quote dialog. Back in the olden days, when I still went to the health club, I regularly saw a Gen Xer carry a gym bag emblazoned with the photo at the top of this post.

I mentioned this to my Cousin Rose. For her, it's MASH.  First, when she was going through her very painful divorce, and then, when she had a benign breast lump removed, she turned to the gang from the 4077th. 

*This is why I never could bear a Seinfeld marathon. I am not amused by people who don't seem to like one another. I don't care how clever the dialog is. Same with The Office. I just don't enjoy these characters.