I am not helpless!

Yes, I'm still worried about my health. I notice that soreness above/next to my armpit more now when I move, but that could be because I poke and prod the site all the time. And yes, I am still perpetually ready for a nap, no matter how early I go to bed each night.

And yes, I do have to wait until late July for both the sleep study and the mammogram to get the answers that will either put my mind at ease or terrify me.

BUT my GP did give me an order for blood work. As my new doctor, she wants to establish her own baseline for my care, and included in the tests she requested is the "CBC with differential with platelet." A standard test, this will give her an idea of my  overall health and can detect infections, inflammations, anemia, cancer or leukemia. YEA!

I haven't scheduled the test yet for two stupid reasons:

•  When I can disappear from work long enough to get the blood drawn
•  Whether the street construction and Covid19 are still interfering with walk-in access to the local clinic

I have a big meeting this afternoon. When I see how that goes, I can carve out some time to go the clinic. And I have a call into the clinic right now about their hours/availability.

I feel so much better now that I'm taking a modicum of control over this.

Sunday Stealing

15 QUESTIONS YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D ASK

1. If you could spend a day in someone else’s shoes who would it be and why? Jennifer Aniston. Because sometimes -- like when I'm standing in the mud on a rainy day, waiting for the bus -- I think, "This wouldn't happen to Jennifer Aniston." So I wonder what things do happen to my favorite Friend that vex her.

2. Which celebrity gets on your nerves the most, and why? Judge Jeanine. Her personal life is worthy of a Kardashian. Quick story: her husband cheated on her and got another woman pregnant. To avoid paying child support, he dismissed the woman as "mentally unstable." DNA proved the kid was his. He ended up paying his former mistress a ton of back child support and giving her a car, presumably to ensure her silence as Judge Jeanine's career took off. And that's just one example. Therefore, I resent it when Judge Jeanine feels qualified to lecture me on the immorality of my liberal politics.

3. If you were going to bury a time capsule, what would you put in it? For 2020: a mask, a bottle of hand sanitizer, and toilet paper.

4. What is your saddest memory? I've been heartbroken a time or two. I don't wish to rank them.

5. Would you rather be in your pajamas or a suit all day? My jammies.

6. What’s the strangest place you’ve ever gone potty? In the bushes. I hated it.

7. How old were you went you had your first kiss? Junior high.

8. Do you have any strange or unique phobias? I'm afraid of squirrels. When I was about 5, my dad told me a vivid, scary story about how a little boy (just my age) was bit by the squirrel he was feeding (just as my dad had caught me doing). The squirrel was rabid and sunk his sharp teeth into the boy, and wouldn't let go. The police came and shot the squirrel, who wouldn't even open its jaws in death. The poor boy was raced to the hospital in an ambulance, with the bloody squirrel carcass hanging from his arm. Naturally, none of that happened, but the story scared me ever since.


9. If you could bring back one toy from your childhood, what would it be? I think it would be fun to play Barbies again.

 
10. If you could be any Disney villain, which would you be? This is hard. But Maleficient was powerful and had a cool headpiece, so I'll go with her.

 
11. If your life was a novel, what would the title be. The Thing of It Is, because I say it a lot.

 
12. What do you need more of in your life? Empathy.

13. What are your top 3 quotes? 
•  Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. (Nora Ephron)
•  Things do not happen. Things are made to happen. (John F. Kennedy)
•  We are the clay and You are our potter. All of us are what You made us. (The Book of Isaiah)

14. What do you want people to remember about you? That I was there when they needed me.

15. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made? I stayed too long in a bad relationship.

Cherries in the Snow

New pedi today! I tried a different color: Revlon #270, Cherries in the Snow. It's deeper and more vibrant than the pink I've previously worn. Reynaldo did not accompany me to the salon, preferring to wear his nails natural this summer.

It's nice to return cautiously to normal. I had to phone the salon from outside when I arrived, because they want to ensure they never have more people inside than can safely social distance. There were no magazines in the waiting area, and the days of being offered water or a soft drink while I wait are over for now. The receptionist took my temperature before I went back to the nail station. Both Jenna, my favorite tech, and I wore masks throughout the entire procedure.

I get such a kick out of Jenna. She and I are very different -- I'm an old white spinster and she's a young black mom. But we have much in common. She wears a Lucy "Vitameatavegimin" pin on her smock. She's a sports fan.* She loves reading about the Royals, too. I was happy to see her and enjoyed the time I spent in her chair.

After my pedi, I had my telesession with my therapist. I confessed to her that I'm scared about my health. I'm tired all the time, and I'm experiencing intermediate soreness near (but not in) my left armpit. Being me, I researched my symptoms online and have convinced myself that I have breast cancer, or lymphoma, or lupus.

I have a mammogram scheduled for late July. It was the first appointment I could get at my preferred location. I like going to that mammography center because they have, literally, decades of my films to inform their analysis. But they're in the area hospital that has the most ventilators, so because of Covid19 they suspended mammograms until just recently. And so I wait, certain that I'll soon be told I'll die alone. Because that's how my mind spins when I'm scared.

My therapist reminded me that the fatigue has been a problem for a long, long time and that I have a sleep study scheduled (ironically for the night before the mammogram). It's more likely that the tiredness is a result of sleep apnea, nothing more serious.

And if my soreness is a result of swollen lymph nodes, it could be caused by my body trying to fight off an infection. After all, I don't have a lump.

She also reminded me that my doctor gave me a script for bloodwork, I'm getting the mammogram, I'm doing the sleep study. I'm taking care of myself. I'm being smart. I should just calm down.

I'll try, Doc, I'll try.

*But not a Michael Jordan fan. We talked a lot about ESPN's The Last Dance.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast (1972)
... Because it's Father's Day weekend.
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a little girl who runs after her daddy. When is the last time you ran? Were you trying to get somewhere in a hurry, or playing a sport? Like the chicken crossing the road, I was trying to get to the other side before the light turned from yellow to red.

2) This song was a top ten hit for Wayne Newton. Mr. Newton is better known for his TV work, having made more than 150 appearances since 1963. Have you ever been on TV? Or in a YouTube video? Election night, 1992. I was on the local news when they showed the celebration at Bill Clinton's Chicago campaign HQ. My mom saw me and was thrilled.

3) The road leading to Las Vegas' McCarran International Airport is named Wayne Newton Blvd. in his honor. When is the last time you were at an airport? Were you flying somewhere, picking someone up, or dropping them off? It was last December. I returned from Christmas in Key West.

4) Wayne says Elvis Presley haunts Las Vegas, and believes that The King of Rock and Roll has given him performing and parenting tips from beyond the grave. When did you last see Elvis? On TV, on a t-shirt, poster or magazine cover, or as a ghostly apparition? It was on my way to the mailbox. I still have some Elvis stamps left, and use them when I send greeting cards.

5) When Sam walks with her own dad, the problem isn't that he walks fast. It's that he's always stopping to pick up litter he finds on the grass. Litterbugs are his pet peeve. What's your pet peeve? Space hogs. People who take up too much space. For example, we all know we're supposed to social distance between ourselves and those we meet on the street. So why, when they approach me, do some couples INSIST on still walking side-by-side? Are they so special that they won't shed corona virus germs?

6) Sam's own father often traveled for business, and always gave her the complimentary soaps, shampoos or body lotion he got from the hotel. When she went away to college, she used her collection of little bottles and was grateful for all the money they saved her. What's something you've done recently to economize? It's awful to say, but in some ways, Covid19 has been good for my budget. I eat out less and have bought no new clothes.

7) It was her father who taught Sam to drive. Are you a better student or teacher? Student. I lack patience when it comes to teaching.

8) Sam's father also always asks if her car in "tip top" condition. Most recently he reminded her to test her headlights, tail lights and turn signals while the car is parked to make sure they're all working. Do you have a car maintenance tip to share? Nope. Sorry.

9) Sam's father satisfies his afternoon sugar craving with an almost endless stream of Butter Rum Lifesavers. Do you usually enjoy a between meal snack? As I work from home, I just kinda graze all day.

I tried

I gave it half an hour. Tonight I tuned in, stuck it out till 7:30, and reaffirmed that I can't stand this movie. I know it's a classic, but to me, Rebel without a Cause is a just a big, CinemaScope showcase for James Dean. And I don't care for him.

He's just so fucking pretentious! He's no Brando or Clift or Paul Newman, the other Method Actors of the day. He's too self conscious and insincere. What I think is meant to convey aching sensitivity just reads as narcissism to me. I've seen two of his three major movies -- that's all he made, you know -- and I can't stand him in either one. I enjoy Giant better than Rebel, but I'm not afraid to say Rock Hudson gives the better performance.

There. I said it. I can't stand James Dean. This puts me out of step with most other classic film lovers, I suppose, but there you have it.

It's liberating to announce it this way:
I can't stand James Dean!

He's always been essential to me!

I haven't heard from my nephew in a while, and now I know why. He's become a driver/shopper for Instacart, racking up as many hours as he can grocery shopping for other people during this pandemic. This makes him an "essential worker," often going to the store for those who can't.

He needs the money. While he has a free ride at Western Illinois, he still needs to earn his spending money. He had hoped to work this summer at McDonald's, as he has the last few summers, but they simply aren't hiring.

We text back and forth a lot, usually about history and politics and the Cubs. But I hope to see him soon. Now that things are opening up a little, maybe we can meet at a patio cafe somewhere. (Even though I know he's hungry for hours behind the wheel, and those wages and tips.)

Why is today not a holiday?

Happy birthday, Sir Paul McCartney.

I simply don't believe him

We've been trying to sell our condo building through deconversion for more than a year now. I dearly wanted it to work. It would give me a way to sell without replacing my windows and upgrading the kitchen and flooring -- expensive things I'd need to do to get a good price selling on my own. However, it looks like it's just not going to happen.

Part of the problem is timing: As a board member, I don't feel right compelling anyone to show their unit during the pandemic.

Part of it is bad decisions on our part: It's a long and unpleasant story, but as a board we refused to let someone rent out his unit after he took a job out east. I thought this was a very bad move, morally. One of our neighbors was struggling, so why not let him rent as part of the hardship clause in the association rules? The other board member is very much against renters in our building and refused to go along with it. I never felt good about that decision, but I only have so much fight in me. Anyway, the unit owner -- strapped by his mortgage payment/association fee here and the rent on his new apartment -- sold his place fast and at a loss. It lowered the market value of all of our units, and the deconversion selling price.

Most of it, though, is that our real estate agent is a douchebag. He's the kind of sales guy that, after he shakes your hand, you count your fingers. He's entitled, and has regularly treated me like staff (get me this, find me that). He's never made bringing our unit owners along with the process his priority. Oh yeah, and he cuts corners. He's not a hard worker.

For the last four weeks, we've been trying to get onto his calendar to talk to him and pull the plug on deconversion. The first week, I gave him dates and times that we were available for a call and he simply didn't call me back. The second week, I tried again. He apologized for not answering me, but said he was busy upgrading his website and app and didn't have time.

I told him then, since I was unsuccessful suggesting times, the ball was in his court and he needs to set something up. It was today at noon.

That call never happened. Because, he says, he had to rush his baby daughter to the doctor.

I don't believe him. I think he found something more lucrative to do and blew us off.

I hope I'm wrong, because lying about your baby's health is very, very bad karma.

Such a silly gal!

I am, generally, a good cyber pen pal. It's a nice talent to have in these days when we aren't congregating like we used to. Fortunately, words come easily to me, and I can compose a chatty email that's easy for the recipient -- who likely doesn't consider him/herself a writer -- to answer. I sent such a chatty email to my friend, Nancy.

The subject line was: "A tough time to be a mom." I asked Nancy about her daughter, Ivy. She's a college student who came down with Covid19 while crashing with friends in St. Paul, which means Ivy was battling a serious illness at the epicenter of racial unrest. Then I asked about Nancy's son. Peter has battled drugs and alcohol. He's riding out the pandemic somewhere out west.* Having lost his restaurant job due to the shut down, he's been under a lot of stress and stress isn't always conducive to sobriety.

Then, since one of her cats suddenly died recently, I asked Nancy if her house seemed empty, and whether she and her husband had considered adopting another cat.

Only in my rush to hit "send," I left out a couple words. I closed by asking Nancy if her house seemed empty, and whether she and her husband had considered adopting.

My 50-year-old friend admitted she found my question shocking. In fact, she said, she literally choked when she got to the end of my message. Those last two forgotten words made all the difference in the world.

When I corrected my lazy mistake, we had a good laugh about it. I don't mind being court jester for my friends in these tough times.

 

*I forget. Utah? Wyoming?

Sunday Stealing

THE HOUSEHOLD MEME
Stolen from the Royal Household at Bloggingham

1. How many gravy boats do you have in your kitchen? I have a gravy boat?

2. Do the clothes in your laundry basket need ironing? Nope! Laundry basket is (for now, at least) empty. Hooray for me!

3. What is the last thing you wallpapered? That would be nothing. Not a fan of wallpaper.

4.  Wooden floors or carpet? Carpet. And that was a mistake. If I had unlimited funds (which I don't) and the discipline to unclutter (which I don't) I'd replace the carpeting throughout my home with wood and tile.

5.  Why do we put out guest towels if no one is supposed to use them? I have guest towels?

6.  If your spatula could talk, what would it say about your duvet? HA! Trick question! I don't have a duvet! I have a nice, old school bedspread that I love dearly. I wish they would come back in fashion.

7.  Have you replaced the batteries in your smoke alarms this year? No. Bad Gal.

8. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do? This question distracted me and sent me to YouTube to look for the lovely old song.

 

 
9. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown? Eggs really do have it tough, relegated to those holders in the door of the refrigerator where it never really gets cold.

10. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you? The Queen's kitchen gets far more action than mine.

11. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters? Don't ask, don't tell.

12. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open.  Why did you close them? Because, as my father used to say, we don't want to air condition the outdoors, do we?

13. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? I need a carryout menu.

14. Is your pot black? Actually it's a reddish brown.

15. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet?  What makes it so? My barbecue sauce! All it takes is a little squeeze and I'm rewarded with honey smoked sweet love.

Muttering as I muse

Unconscious Mutterings

 

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Dish :: Washer
2. Crunch :: Cheetohs
3. Fire :: Place
4. Alaska :: Pipleline
5. Heights :: Wuthering
6. Force :: Field
7. Birthday:: Happy
8. Sauce :: BBQ
9. Gift :: Card
10. Winner :: Lottery

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Rain, The Park, and Other Things (1967)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.






1) The Cowsills were a family band who had three hit singles. Can you name another group of popular singing siblings? This photo of the Osmonds could be the most 70s thing you see all day.

2) This was their first hit, and it reached #2 on the Billboard charts. It was kept out of the #1 slot by the Monkees and "Daydream Believer." What's your favorite Monkees song?


 

3) After seeing the Cowsill brothers perform with their mother and sister, TV producers were inspired to create the sitcom, The Partridge Family. Did you ever watch it? At the time, it was de rigueur viewing in my grammar school. I saw it again not too long ago. It has not aged well.

4) In the song, the narrator takes a flower from a girl in the park. Are there flowers in your home right now? There are no flowers in my home because nothing would give my cat more joy than knocking the vase over. And, if you ask him, the goal of my life is to deprive him his few slivers of happiness.

5) He isn't sure if the girl was real, or if he dreamed her. Tell us about a recent dream you had. Last month, I dreamed that actor Michael Douglas took me to a shitty little resort in Marquette County, Wisconsin. He should be ashamed of being such a cheap date.

6) At the height of the Cowsills' popularity, they were hired by the American Dairy Association to promote drinking milk. If we were to peek into your refrigerator right now, would we find any milk? There's a quart of 2% in there right now. By the way, my friend Nancy recently mocked me for being confused by the difference between "sell by" and "use by" dates on milk. To tell if it's still good, she advised, "Just sniff it, Gal!"

7) After the band stopped performing together, John Cowsill went on to become a back up musician for the Beach Boys. His job has kept him on the road much of the time. When you travel, do you enjoy staying in hotels, or would you rather stay with friends/family? I much prefer hotels (motels or airbnb). I don't like imposing and I do like my privacy. Besides, I love checking out new hotel rooms. "Look at the mini frig! Look at the hair dryer!"

8)  In 1967, the year this song was popular, Elvis married Priscilla in Las Vegas. Have you attended any weddings yet this year? Are there any weddings in your future? My niece is still planning to get married in Michigan in October. Fingers crossed.

9) Random question: Are the bottoms of your feet ticklish? Nope.

June 12, 1929

Happy birthday, Anne Frank. She received a fabric-covered diary for her 13th birthday. At that time, she was a young girl who enjoyed knitting, still missed her grandma (who died the year before) rode her bike to get around, and had an indefatigable interest in boys.

The following month, the Frank family went into hiding. They were joined by the Van Pel family and Franz Pfeffer. Eight people in all, living in the now-famous Secret Annex above the warehouse. During the day they had to be careful to be as quiet as possible, lest the workers hear them. At times, flushing the toilet or even coughing could be dangerous. They ate provisions left for them by helpers, the few Christians that they could trust with their secret existence. 

Anne believed that they would "outlast" the Nazis. Of course, they did not. In the summer of 1944, they were discovered and arrested. This brave little woman died at age 15 in a concentration camp.

But her words live on. Anne's diary has been published in more than 60 languages. 

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

“I know what I want, I have a goal, an opinion, I have a religion and love. Let me be myself and then I am satisfied. I know that I’m a woman, a woman with inward strength and plenty of courage.”

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!”

“What is done cannot be undone, but one can prevent it happening again.”

Let's not insult her memory. Next time you hear someone complain of being "oppressed" because they're asked to wait to get a hair cut or wear a mask in public to protect their neighbors from a virus, think about this face. Know that she lived the last two years of her young life estranged from the outside world, afraid of torture and death. Think about her bottomless dark eyes and how hard she fought to stay positive when faced with terror. Remember what "oppression" really is.

You can take the girl out of the White House ...

... but you can't take the White House out of the girl. Now for the MAJOR disclaimer: I have no idea if this actually happened, but it does amuse me. And, as one who has read about JBKO literally since I've been able to read, it does ring true.

While working at Doubleday, Jacqueline Onassis decided to thank her partners in a major project by hosting a party. She emphasized it was a casual get together: "Just pizza and beer for the gang."

Now you may have had beer and pizza with the gang from your office, but your casual get together wasn't held at 1040 Fifth Avenue.

First you'd approach the doorman, who would check his list and confirm that you are, indeed, one of "the gang." Then he would announce you via intercom and point you to the elevator.

You'd get off at the 15th floor and knock on the door. The maid would open the door and then indicate you should wait a moment while she* announced you.

The room becomes quiet and all heads turn to you. Try not to feel awkward.

Your hostess stops what she's doing and crosses the room to greet you. With fingers laced precisely at waist level, she formally welcomes you to her home ... and asks if you'd like your beer in a can or a glass.

*Most likely the ever-loyal Marie.

Whee!

I went downtown yesterday! The first time since mid-March. I haven't been away from downtown for this long since I was in my teens. I was thrilled.

Plus, it was the first time I've been in a car* on the expressway, traveling at a good clip since the pandemic started. I was much like this dog, except I believe I kept my tongue in my mouth.

As the car pulled up, I saw a familiar face -- a homeless gentleman who dotes on his tortoise shell cat. I'd been so worried about them! Between the corona virus, the riots and the excessive rains, life could not have been easy for these two brave souls. I didn't actually see the cat, but am pleased to report he still has her carrier. I don't imagine he'd haul that around with him if she didn't need it to sleep.

I was there for a specific reason. We were each supposed to collect all personal items from our workspace so the entire area can be power cleaned between now and our proposed return day in July. I loaded up my rolling suitcase with shoes, baby clothes (purchased for my niece in California, who had a baby a couple weeks ago), other gifts I purchased in advance, my gym clothes and NAPKINS! I had been hoarding napkins every day after lunch because I'm a spiller and wanted to have them handy to mop up my desk. With paper towels not always plentiful on store shelves, I figured I need them more at home.

After I was done, I stopped by the CVS in the building lobby. I bought a couple of Hallmark cards, a packet of taco seasoning (on sale and perfect for the food pantry bag), and a can of Fancy Feast. I wanted to give it to my homeless friend for his cat. Alas, when I got outside they were gone.

I met my art director for lunch at a restaurant on South Michigan Avenue. It was the first time I socialized -- in person! -- with anyone since Thursday, March 12. The first time I had a professionally mixed drink -- instead of booze I slopped in a glass -- since Thursday, March 12.. The first time I had food served with real silverware and cloth napkins since Thursday, March 12.

I had no idea NORMAL could feel so freaking delightful.

I'm nervous, of course. We live in a crazy world where ridiculous people insist that wearing a mask is "oppression," and all we need is a handful of these silly and self-centered among us for the corona virus to spread. So I'm glad that when our office finally does reopen, it will be at 25% capacity and masks will be required. Only four people will be allowed on each elevator. All this makes me feel a bit more confident.

*I took an Uber because I didn't want to deal with my big rolling suitcase on the el.

Are your neighbors OK?

Click here to find your local food bank

I just saw a photo of empty shelves. Our local food bank is almost, literally, out of canned goods. With so many of us out of work or furloughed because of the corona virus, the demand has been too great for the community to keep up.

Lately I've been lazy with my support. I used to add a can of something to my basket every time I went to the store. Then, when I'd collected a full grocery bag, I'd drop it off at the visitor's center, which had a big basket for donations by the front door. But the visitor's center closed and moved their efforts online, so I just went online, too. I began giving a few bucks every month -- billed to my credit card so I can earn miles! -- and called it a day. Lazy, lazy gal.

Neighborhood churches regularly collect canned goods, but we've all been worshiping online, and that's severely impacted donations.

What about your town? Are your neighbors OK? Or could your food pantry use a special infusion right about now?

If you want to find a pantry near you, here's a link to Feeding America.

Speaking of Profiles in Courage ...

I recently read Profiles in Courage, John F. Kennedy's Pulitzer Prize winning study of Senators who took principled and politically fatal stands. Something tells me that Massachusetts' Senator from 1953 to 1960 would applaud the action of this man who once governed his state. He might even add a chapter to his book for Mitt Romney, now the junior Senator from Utah.

This, ladies and gentleman, is what a courageous Christian looks like. There are "patriotic" "Christians" who maintain that the current protests spread hate. Yeah, whatever. Never mind that the United States were born out of rebellion against The Crown, and that Christ was quite the social agitator Himself. You just wrap yourself in your anger and fear. I'll side with love and equality.

Anyway, knowing how so many conservatives feel, it was probably harder for Romney to make this march than it would be for you or me. I applaud him for honoring both his father, George Romney, and his faith.

We should do this more often

I took Reynaldo to the park. We sat on a bench for half and hour, looking at this bush. He also came nose to nose with a red cocker spaniel who, after a thrilling moment, decided squirrels were more interesting.

My little man loved every moment and is, right now as we speak, trying to get back into his carrier.

Sunday Stealing

FROM FACEBOOK

* Would you rather work in a group or work alone? Alone. I'm a writer, which is a rather solitary profession. I've learned to collaborate with art directors, clients, account executives, etc. But my inclination is to work alone.

* Would you rather be stuck on an island alone or with someone who talks incessantly? The talker. Annoying though it may be, I'll need help on that island.

* Would you rather be too hot or too cold? Too cold! I cannot bear heat.

* When you’re old, would you rather die before or after your spouse? Being a barren spinster, I have no opinion on this.
* Would you rather have a cook or a maid? Maid!

* Would you rather be the youngest or the oldest sibling? The youngest. My baby sister is over 50 and still gets away with murder.

* Would you rather get rich through hard work or through winning the lottery? The Lottery. In fact, I just bought a ticket yesterday. Maybe I'm a millionaire!

* Would you rather have a 10-hour dinner with a headstrong politician from an opposing party, or attend a 10-hour concert for a music group you detest? The politician. I may learn something.
 
* Would you rather be an Olympic gold medalist or a Nobel Peace Prize winner? Nobel Peace Prize! What an honor.

* Would you rather have a desk job or an outdoor job? Desk job. I burn so easily.

* Would you rather live at the top of a tall NYC apartment building or at the top of a mountain? Ooooh! Tall NYC apartment building! Maybe Carrie and Big would be my neighbors!

* Would you rather have Rambo or The Terminator on your side? The Terminator. I just like Arnold better.

* Would you rather be proposed to in private or in front of family and friends? Private.

* Would you rather have to sew all your clothes or grow your own food? Considering how domestically-challenged I am, I'm choosing between nude and starving.

* Would you rather hear the good news or the bad news first? The bad news. Let's end on a high note.

* Would you rather be your own boss or work for someone else? Work for someone else. I hated being a boss.

* Would you rather have nosy neighbors or noisy neighbors? Noisy.

* Would you rather be on a survival reality show or dating game show? Oh, no, please, no. I don't want to do either.

* Would you rather be too busy or be bored? Bored. I'm lazy.

* Would you rather watch the big game at home or live at the stadium? At home. I want to savor every moment and pay close attention to the details.

* Would you rather spend the day with your favorite athlete or you favorite movie star? I'd love a few hours with my favorite, #44 Anthony Rizzo, and his dog, Kevin.

* Would you rather live where it is constantly winter or where it is constantly summer? Winter. Definitely.

* Would you rather travel the US and see the sights in a motor home or by plane? Well, you can't see much by plane so I'll choose motor home. But I'd prefer train car.

* Would you rather be a little late or way too early? Late.

* Would you rather have an unlimited gift certificate to a restaurant or a clothing store? Clothes.

* Would you rather date someone you met online or go on a blind date? Online

"I like to take showers every morning and I don't like the panties drying on the rod."

I just channeled my inner Richard Dreyfus from The Goodbye Girl. Yesterday was a busy day and I went through three cloth masks. This morning, as they dried in my shower, they seemed to dominate my little bathroom. Here are my observations of my action-packed Saturday.

MASK #1) I met my new doctor! Love her, love her, love her! She graduated from med school in 2009, which I assume makes her between 35 and 40. Educated in India, she did her residency and internship right here in Chicago. She wore pink scrubs, had a pink stethoscope, and a (fresh) pale pink manicure.

Not her, but it could be.

She spent a ton of time with me. I went through my medical history -- scribbled on the back of an envelope* -- and she keystroked everything onto her iPad. I offered to sign forms to get my lab results from my former, not at all missed doctor, she said there was "no need."

"It's been more than six months, so let's just do our own labs." She's my doctor! Not just some interim, stop gap provider. She's taking over my total care.

She reassured me that my lungs sound fine now, she heard no residual damage from my bronchitis earlier this year, that any congestion I'm experiencing is nasal and likely from allergies. She gave me a script for a 3-D mammogram and recommended a sleep study.

Her manicure came up when we talked about things reopening in our neighborhood. I told her I had a pedi appointment, and she talked about how comfortable she was getting her own new manicure because both she and the nail tech were wearing masks. So you all can choose to believe those whiners in the blogosphere who insist that masks are nothing more than "oppression." I'm going to listen to the lady in the pink stethoscope.

MASK #2) My first trip to the salon in 13 weeks! Since I regularly get my hair cut/colored every four weeks, that means I was three trips overdue. Good for my budget, bad for my soul. I was worried about Tony, my stylist, because he's a small business owner who has been closed for more than two months. I tipped him 30% and bought a bottle of conditioner, just to help him out.

He didn't count the money in front of me, but I know he appreciates it because he was full of tales of kindness from his regular customers. Here's my favorite: as soon as he closed back in March, Tony received a check for $360 from a long-time client. This man, an 80-something friend of his late father's, explained he was paying Tony in advance for a year of hair cuts. Considering that the gentleman is on a fixed income, that's a sacrifice. Tony welled up as he told me, so to lighten the mood I joked, "You only charge him $30 for a hair cut?"

"He has less hair than you, Gal."

I asked him if he ran into any of those whiners who refuse to wear masks. He said only one. A wealthy retiree who just returned to Chicagoland after spending his winter in Phoenix. Over the phone, Tony told this client just what he told me: "You have to wear a mask to enter and I'm taking your temperature before we begin the service."

Mr. Wealthy Snowbird started to complain. These precautions are silly. It's all a joke and a hoax, etc., etc.

Tony responded, "If I get sick, I'm out of work again. I can't afford it. If you don't want to follow these rules, I'm sorry but you can't come."

Something else for the "oppression" whiners to consider; What if you're wrong? What gives you the right to jeopardize someone else's health and livelihood?

I'm now cut, colored, and highlighted. My mullet is gone, and Tony is OK. I'm a happy gal!

Alas, two stars at best.

MASK #3) Ravioli di zucca. There's a small ristorante in my neighborhood that's been having a rough time of it. They opened, and their chef had emergency surgery so they had to close. They reopened, and the pandemic hit!

At the beginning of this crisis, I decided to consistently support a different Italian restaurant: the corner pizza place. Their food is just OK, but they have always been there for Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Little League, etc., and I figured now was the time for the community to pay them back for their generosity. Well Saturday, I was tired and hungry and I wanted good food. So I treated myself pumpkin ravioli from the ristorante instead.

It was delicious. It was also too rich for my system and sent me into a food coma. I barely made it through the perfectly wretched Elvis movie I DVR'd for the occasion.

Saturday was the kind of Saturday I would have resented, pre-pandemic. I would have deemed it too busy, too structured, with not enough alone time. But that was before. Now that we're during, it felt kind of exciting.

 *One of the benefits of regular blogging: When I wondered, "When did I have that mole biopsied?" or "How long did I have c. diff?" the answers were all right here because I wrote about them in real time.