Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Eight/Ten Questions

TEN TO START:

1. Are you single? Yes

2. Are you happy? At times

 

3. Are you bored?  Seldom

4. Are you naked? At times

 5. Are you a blonde? No

6. Are you moody? At times

7. Are you a lover/hater? Depends

8. Are you hot/cold? Right now, I'm like Goldilocks: "Just right."

9. Are you Irish? Less than 10%.

10. Are you Asian? No.

TEN FACTS:

1. Name: The Gal Herself

2. Nickname: Gal

3. Birth mark: Right thigh

 

4. Hair color: Light brown with highlights

5. Natural hair color: Light brown

6. Eye color: Green

7. Height: 5'2

8. Facebook Mood: Happy all the time, because social media is such a fake place

9. Favorite color: Blue

 

10. One Place to Visit: For some reason, this is what popped into my mind. It's the darling little waterfall at the base of Ouachita Mountain in Hot Springs, AR. I long to go back. It's an intimate, sweet little town and it feels like my secret place. If I had the money, it would be my solo getaway this year. (But I don't have the money.)

 

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

1. Do you believe in love at first sight? "Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time."

2. Do you believe in soul mates? Yes.

4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally? Of course.

5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Regretfully.

6. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.

7. Have you ever liked someone and not told them? Yes.

8. Are you afraid of commitment? Yes.

9. Who was the last person you hugged? My friend, Barb.

10. Who was the last person you kissed? A man I had no business kissing.

TEN THIS OR THAT.

1. Love or lust? Ideally, both.

3. Cats or dogs? Cats. I like dogs, and would have one if I could, but I can't imagine a feline-free life.

4. A few best friends or many regular friends? Best friends.

5. Television or internet?  Internet, because I could watch YouTube.

6. Chinese Or Indian? Chinese.

7. Wild night out or romantic night in?  Romantic night in. If you see Mark Harmon, let him know.

8. Money or Happiness? Ideally, both.

9. Night or day? "Night or day, you are the one. Only you beneath the moon or under the sun." If you see Mark Harmon, let him know.

10. Skype or phone? Phone.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER.

1. Been caught sneaking out? Yes.

2. Been skinny dipping? No.

3. Stolen? No.

4. Bungee jumped? No.

5. Lied to someone you liked? Yes.

 

6. Finished an entire jaw breaker?  Yes.

7. Cheated on a lover (yes kissing counts...)? No.

8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back? Yes.

9. Cried because you lost a pet?  Yes.

10. Wanted to disappear? Yes.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER.

    1.   Smile or eyes? A lover with no eyes would be creepy.

2. Light or dark hair? Dark.

3. Hugs or kisses? Ideally, both.

4. Shorter or taller? There is no one shorter than me.

5. Intelligence or attraction? Intelligence is attractive.

6. Romantic or spontaneous? Spontaneous.

7. Funny or serious? Funny.

8. Older or Younger? There is no one older than me.

9. Outgoing or quiet? Outgoing

10. Sweet or Bad Ass? Sweet. An old "bad ass" is just sad.

TEN HAVE YOU’S.

1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd? If presentations count as performance, yes.
 

2. Ever done drugs? Yes.

3. Ever been pregnant? No.

5. Ever been on a cheer leading team? No.

6. Ever Been on a dance team? No.

7. Ever been on a sports team? Volley ball in junior high. I was dreadful.

8. Ever been in a drama play/production? No.

9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? No.

10. Ever been in a rap video? Why, yes. See if you can spot me. (Clue: I look terrific in uniform.)

 

 

TEN LASTS.

1. Last phone call you made: Walgreens Pharmacy

2. Last person you hung out with: Coworker
 
3. Last person you flirted with: Different coworker

4. Last time you worked: Friday afternoon
 

5. Last person you tackled: Jay Cutler

6. Last person you IM’d: Friend

8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with: This question makes me sad because I missed my movie meetup Saturday night

9. Last thing you missed: My movie meetup Saturday night

10. Last time you did the nasty: I've never considered it nasty

 

There's something about the spinach and cheese croissant

Friday just got away from me. I ate a ton of Girl Scout cookies at my desk, expecting them to hold me over until after my lunchtime workout. Then my boss came in and sat down and I ended up conversing about work instead of working out.

By the time I looked at the clock, it was 2:30. I wasn't really hungry (all those Do-Si-Dos) but I had to get away from my desk for a minute. So I went to the post office and on the way back, stopped at Au Bon Pain.

They didn't have much left to choose from. But I was drawn to the spinach-and-cheese croissant. Hot and gooey. And spinach gave it the patina of nutritious. I snarfed it down without really remembering it. When I got home Friday night, I still wasn't hungry, but had a bowl of cereal for dinner because I didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night, voracious and jonesing for ice cream.

Saturday morning I was soooooo sick. Smelly, voluminous, boy-this-hasn't-happened-in-a-long-time kinda sick. I went back to bed and didn't get up until 1:00. I got it together to go grocery shopping, but that was it. I even missed my classic movie meet-up (and I looooove my classic movie meet-up).

This gave me a lot of time to think. I recall having the ABP spinach and cheese croissant once before.  Guess what happened.

Lesson learned.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Fist City (1968)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

Sure, Reynaldo looks angelic

1) This song is about a wife warning another woman off her man. Who received the last warning, of any type, that you issued? I warned my cat, Reynaldo, not to knock that pencil cup onto the floor. He did it anyway.

2) Loretta sings that when her husband picks up trash, he puts it in a garbage can. She's being metaphorical, but we will be literal: If you spot litter on the sidewalk, do you pick it up or just walk on? I don't see trash on the sidewalk often, but there's always an empty potato chip bag or sweet tea bottle on the floor of the el. And I admit I leave it there. I worry about germs. I figure there's a reason why the maintenance workers wear gloves.

3) She taught herself to play guitar. If you could learn something new in 2017, what would it be? I should resume my attempt to learn Spanish. I think understanding and speaking another language would expand my understanding of the world around me.

4) She broke her shoulder in a fall and surgery was required to repair it. When were you last in a hospital? Were you a patient or a visitor? I spent a little time with my friend, Barb. Her husband was in the hospital.

5) In the 1970s, Loretta Lynn was the first country singer to appear on the cover of Newsweek. Who is your favorite country singer? Garth Brooks. And this is my favorite Garth Brooks song.

 

  

6) Rowan and Martin's Laugh In premiered in 1968, when this song was popular. What's the last TV show you watched? Did you watch it live, did you stream it, or catch it on DVR/Tivo? I just watched an interview Dick Cavett did with Richard Burton back in 1980. I had DVR'd it. Now I have to decide whether or not to delete it. I loooooove listening to Burton tell stories in that deep, honeyed voice, but I'm down to 6% of storage space.

7) In 1968, Jacqueline Kennedy shocked the world by marrying Greek billionaire Aristotle Onassis.What's the last thing you heard that surprised you? That one of my neighbors is resigning from the condo board. There's so much drama in this little, 24-unit condo building! (Remember Melrose Place? We're just like that, only we don't dress that well and we aren't that attractive.)

8) 1968's top-rated car was the Chevy Corvette. Could your car benefit from a trip to the car wash this morning? No car.

  
9) Random question: You're staying in a hotel and find you can faintly hear the couple in the next room. Would you ignore their voices, or try to hear them better? Depends on my mood. I might be tempted to listen in, but if I'm sleepy I'd probably just turn on my TV for white noise as I doze off to sleep.

 

Tears ... and the Angry Inch

Wednesday night we went to see the touring production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It was a compelling night of theater and I liked the music, but it was such an angry story -- my favorite quote from Hedwig is, “It’s the direction of the aggression that defines the act” -- that I can't say I enjoyed it. I do know that I have been thinking about it a great deal.

But it wasn't the play that made the night memorable. It was my friend, Barb. As we had dinner before the show, she unexpectedly broke down. She and her husband are getting closer to putting their home here in Chicago on the market, their new home in Hilton Head is just about done  ... and John is still battling two forms of cancer. Every three weeks he goes to Northwestern Hospital for treatments.

What's more, she has two surgeries of her own scheduled before they move: an operation on her left eye and reconstructive surgery after her own battle with cancer. Additionally, her feet are bothering her, and it turns out she has arthritis which "could" require surgery in the future.

"I worry about what's going to happen to John," she said between tears. I didn't ask her to elaborate because I knew what she meant: he's dying. When he was diagnosed back in September, his first doctor told him he had six months. That was six months ago. His new medical team said they "don't look at cancer treatment that way," and that he's been "responding" to medication. But both she and John know he's never going to get better. He gets winded so easily that he cannot climb even a flight of stairs on his own. And yet they are going to pack up everything they own and drive 950 miles to South Carolina.

She did articulate that she's worried about their medical care. Northwestern is the #1 hospital in Chicago for cancer treatment, and it's been ranked in the top 10 nationwide. Not only is John's cancer team there, so is Barb's. The oncologist who oversaw her mastectomy less than a year ago is also at Northwestern. I told her that Hilton Head has a big retirement community and there must be good doctors nearby. She was skeptical and, frankly, I don't believe what I said, either. I know someone in Key West who has to drive (now, be driven) 150 miles to Miami for care. Major metropolitan areas have their advantages, and big hospitals are among them.

The poor woman has so much on her mind. Packing up her home. Selling her home. Overseeing the construction of her home in another state. Her vision. Her feet. Her cancer. His cancer. And, living in a new town when his health deteriorates.

I didn't tell her everything would be fine. I didn't want to insult her. Instead, I told her that, under the circumstances, feeling overwhelmed completely rational. I told her I'll always be here to listen and give her a hug. She smiled sadly and said she could foresee a time in the not so distant future when I'll be living her with her in her new big house. She imagined us as two retired ladies in Hilton Head, playing nine holes of golf and then having dinner at 4:30 in the afternoon.

A champion of the American art form

I believe movies matter. And so I loved Robert Osborne. Like Roger Ebert, he brought a passion and respect to the art form that has always captivated me.

Robert Osborne was dignified and elegant, as befitting an aficionado of Old Hollywood. I've missed him since he cut back on his TCM hosting duties due to illness. I've thought of him often and always hoped he'd be back. (In my fantasies, he would host one last Summer Under the Stars day this August for one of his favorites, Gene Tierney.)

But now he's gone. Rest in peace, dear man.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Questions of Age

1. By a certain age, a woman should just concentrate on being herself, not what people want her to be.

2. By a certain age, a man should just concentrate on being himself, not what people want him to be.

3. When I was young, I thought by now I would be dead. Really. I never thought I would live this long. I remember thinking when Elvis died, "What's the big deal? He had a life." Of course, the older I get, the older "older" becomes.

4. Now that I am older, I wish I had planned for the future.

5. You know that you are too old to do an activity when ... Saturday afternoon I saw a teenage boy running up the very stairs I took the elevator to avoid.

6. You know you are too young to do an activity when ... I'm old enough to do anything I want.

7. When I was in high school I listened to the music of Elton John. Not intentionally. I wasn't much of a fan. He was just ubiquitous.

8. When I was in college (or the next four years after high school) I listened to the music of The Four Seasons. They were way past their heyday, but that's when I got into them.



9. These days, at my age I find myself listening music of Frank Sinatra. Like with The Four Seasons, I discovered him in my own time. This one seems fitting for this Sunday Stealing.



10. For my last birthday I ran away. I like solo getaways and I wanted to treat myself to something. So I used my accumulated miles to go to Memphis and woke up on my birthday in Graceland. It was great!

11. On my next birthday I want to spend it with my oldest friend. It's a big birthday, and she's the one I share the most history with. So we're going to Las Vegas for a long -- and hopefully very silly and laughter-filled -- weekend.

12. The best birthday present I ever got was ... In 2015, my friend John got me tickets for the January 2016 Cubs Convention. I'd never been to it before, and the Cubs never won the World Series before. Coincidence?


13. The first time I felt that I was an adult was when I moved out of my parent's home. I was still in my teens and still had a lot of growing up to do, emotionally, but I was financially on my own forever more.

14. The last time I felt like I was still a kid was when my guys rewarded my lifetime of believing.

15. I would sum up 2016 by saying ...

I'll let Carrie speak for me one last time

16. I hope I will sum up 2017 by saying in December, "That was soooo much better than 2017."

17. So far in terms of age, I feel my first big milestone was 21

18. As I look forward to the rest of my life’s journey, I feel my biggest milestone of my life will be ... Sorry, I got nothing for this.

19. By the time I was the age I am now I am surprised that I haven’t yet figured out how to keep house. Really. I live in a sty. I just don't know how to pick up after myself!

20. By the time I am 65, I hope that I have a better handle on my finances. Pleasepleaseplease!

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Magic (1980)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This 1980 video depicts Olivia Newton-John as a performer in small club. For the past few years, she's been performing regularly at the Flamingo in Las Vegas. Have you ever been to Las Vegas? Oh, many times. It's such a great value for booze and food and glitz and people watching.  I'm going back this November to celebrate my 60th birthday in this delightfully ridiculous building.

The New York, New York Hotel and Casino

 2) Many tourists who want to get away from the glitz of Vegas travel less than 20 miles to visit Red Rock Canyon. This national park is known for its hiking trails, which provide a view of the desert flora and red rock peaks. Tell us about a time you were impressed by natural beauty. Every time I look out onto Lake Michigan, I'm like the Grinch. I feel my heart grow just a wee bit. It's a great Great Lake.

3) One of the best-reviewed restaurants in Las Vegas is Andiamo Italian Steak House. When you order a steak, how do you request it be cooked: rare, medium rare, medium, medium well or well done? Medium well.

4) Olivia Newton-John's father was an officer in MI5, the UK's secret service. Sam's most recent encounter with the law didn't have much drama or intrigue: she asked a cop for directions to the highway. Tell us about the last time you spoke to an officer of the law. Thursday evening I was informally questioned by a police officer about the disappearance of my a neighbor with dementia. She's still missing, which makes me sad.

5) ONJ was awarded the OBE -- Order of the British Empire -- by Queen Elizabeth in honor of her contributions to the arts. Here's your opportunity to boast. What is something you've done lately that you received praise for? Being fun and funny. We had layoffs this past week, and a coworker who sat next to me all day/every day really misses me because I was fun to be around.

6) A breast cancer survivor, Olivia helped found a cancer center in her hometown of Melbourne, Australia. When you think of Australia, what comes to mind? Kangaroos.

7) "Magic" was one of the top-selling records of 1980. Also that year, Post-It notes debuted. Do you enjoy shopping for office supplies, or do you consider it a chore? Yes! I don't know why, but I love wandering those aisles, looking at pencil sharpeners and binder clips.

8) In 1980, the NASA space probe returned the first photos of Saturn back to earth. Do you believe intelligent life forms from other planets are  trying to learn more about us? I believe it. But I don't think of it much and don't really care. I like this planet.

9) Random question: Are you more confident in your looks or your intelligence? My smarts.

 

Good news, bad news

First, the good news. Ever since the summer of 2015, there's been a ton of new construction in my neighborhood. A new, two-tower apartment building is now open and leasing. The big, multi-use complex -- restaurants/stores/office space/parking* -- is more than half done. Then there's the humongous, 200+ unit apartment building (and Target store) that was proposed back in November. Apparently the developers got all the approvals and ground will be broken "soon."

This means jobs. Lots of jobs. Construction jobs. Then maintenance jobs and retail jobs. Yea! My community is enjoying a renaissance. And my condo, the most expensive thing I will ever purchase, has increased in value. Yea! (Thanks, Obama.)

Now, the bad news. I got my property tax assessment. As my neighborhood becomes hotter, the value of my home goes up. In 2017, I'm looking at an increase of 38%. Gulp. There are exemptions available. I must look into the application process. I want to pay my fair share -- it's the moral/karmic/intellectual cost of being a liberal -- but according to this letter from the Cook County Assessor, there may be ways to legally discount the amount I pay.

*Parking is a huge-ass big deal in my neighborhood! Most of the older apartment buildings and condos, built in the 1950s or before, only have one parking space per unit and most households now have more than one car.

Frightened

Last night, my condo building was swarming with police.

A police officer greeted me on the front stairs. A unit owner on the second floor was reported missing by her adult daughter. The officer was asking when we last saw her, trying to glean information that she may have dementia. After all, it's legal for an adult to go off by herself and not tell anyone, so the police tend not to get involved for at least 24 hours. What the cop was trying to establish was that this particular lady had dementia, as her daughter claimed. If she had a health problem that jeopardized her safety, the police could start looking for her. The whole thing was very sad.

Then, after I fed my cats, I heard a terrible commotion in the hall. Police were banging on Pervy Walt's door. Again. The same thing happened on New Year's Day. It went on for quite a while. Then I heard the sound of electric tools. Paramedics came rushing off the elevator. After the noise died down, I checked and the hall was filled with wood and debris. The police had sawed a hole in door and removed the lock. They took Walt away. Whether to the hospital or the morgue, I don't know.

It was all very scary. No one likes to see police cars in front of her home. Being questioned by a cop, even informally, is intimidating. The noise was disruptive. And it stirred up all those fears I have about my own vulnerability as I age.

Funny how things work out

About ten days ago, I heard from a former coworker who wanted to see me during an upcoming trip to Chicagoland. Through the vagaries of social media, her request to meet up with me and my old buddy Todd turned into a potential cluster fuck of people I hoped to see never see again.

After giving it thought, I realized that I just didn't feel like exposing myself to this. I was flattered that Donna remembered me so fondly and wanted to see me. But when the get together expanded to John ... and Jennifer ... and Michelle ... and Sara ... I broke quite a few eggs as omelette maker at that job. Not everyone appreciated my culinary stylings. Or, to put it another way, I hated those nutbags and they weren't that crazy about me. So I told Donna that I couldn't make it but was glad we reconnected on Facebook.

The weather's been crazy. Tuesday night it rained and flooded and tornadoes touched down out in the far suburbs. Today the rain turned to snow. Over the last 24 hours I saw the deplorables drop off due to sudden out of town trips and unexpected appointments and truncated work deadlines. (Yeah, right. If it was sunny and 60º like it was last week, they'd all be there.)

Oh well. It wasn't worth the agita. I'm glad I didn't go. I'm feeling vulnerable these days. Broke, fat, pimply. Stalled in my career. I'm still reeling over the canning of Kevin yesterday. Donald Trump addressed Congress. Sometimes cocooning is the only self-protective response.

... And then there were two

A year ago, there were six creatives on our team. Three art director/writer teams. We were overflowing our cubicles -- six of us in office space designed for two.

Last summer, three were let go.

Tuesday, another. Now we're just one art director/writer. No back up.

It's been storming and there's a tornado warning -- in February. Donald Trump just addressed Congress as President of the United States.*

I never thought my life would look like this.

*Actually, to be fair, it wasn't a bad/offensive speech -- though I did hate everything he said about Chicago. It's the fact of Donald Trump being President, standing in the Capitol. addressing Congress, quoting Lincoln, that still rattles me.

Bad day at Black Rock

Today the axe came down. Again.

I was spared. Two unlucky -- and again, more expensive -- creatives felt the blade upon their necks.

I'm unhappy because one of them was not only a really good guy, he sat beside me and helped keep me anchored. Also this could mean extra work for me, and that's not a good thing.

I'm beginning to suspect that part of why they keep me around here is that I'm so cost-effective (aka "cheap"). At this stage in my career, maybe that's not a bad thing.

About the Oscar snafu

That clip of Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway reading the wrong winner is turning into the Zapruder film of the new millennium. What happened? How could it have happened?

The accountant gave Warren the wrong envelope, that's how it happened. You're welcome. Next! 

This is not to say I don't find this all fascinating. I'm just fixated on the backstage intrigue instead. For example, I looooove that Beatty wouldn't surrender the "wrong" envelope. Yes, that 79-year-old man in a tux was seen "tussling" with the accountant who gave him the "LaLa Land" envelope. You go.

Savvy old showbiz vet that he is, he appreciates that a Best Picture Oscar is worth millions to its studio and so this had to be corrected pronto. And that someone was going to be blamed for this -- after all, this potentially scandalous snafu was seen live by more than 65 million people all over the world. And he made sure that the someone who was blamed wasn't him. Atta boy!

And then there's Faye. She's an amazing actress. I saw her twenty years ago, onstage as Maria Callas in Master Class. It was a memorable night of theater. She was Mrs. Mulwray in Chinatown and Diana of Network. And yet she'll be remembered as Mommie Dearest and the old ditz who read the wrong name on the Oscars.

And then there's the picture they were supposed to be honoring. Lost in all this is that Bonnie and Clyde was released 50 years ago. Bonnie and Clyde revolutionized American film 50 years ago.

•  It was graphic -- but unlike Sam Peckinpah and Clint Eastwood movies of the same period, the violence is intentionally disturbing, not thrilling.

•  It was frankly sexual. For most of the film, Clyde is impotent, unable to achieve orgasm until he achieves fame.*

•  It was made outside the studio system. The poster at left is the original ... before the critics adored it and made it an international phenomenon. The movie made by 28-year-old pretty boy Beatty and his then unknown cast -- it was the first time audiences saw Gene Wilder, Gene Hackman and Estelle Parsons -- was going to just be dumped in drive-ins. For low-brows who still liked "gangster movies" and teenagers who'd be making out in the backseat and not really watching anyway.

But best of all, it was about something. It's about America, and our love affair with sex and violence and money.† I realize that The Godfather is a better movie, but the themes and even some scenes are direct from Bonnie and Clyde. Butch Cassidy, American Hustle, The Departed and this year's Hell or High Water all have very loud echoes of Bonnie and Clyde.

So I'm sorry that Envelopegate happened because it detracts from Bonnie and Clyde's 50th anniversary. It's a movie that should be seen by every new generation, because it's a film that matters.

*When I first saw it, I didn't understand that Warren Beatty was Hollywood's best-known and most legendary ladies man. So it confused me that the audience laughed when Bonnie tries to shame Clyde into making love to her, saying, "Your advertising's just dandy. Folks would never guess you don't have a thing to sell."

†Yet it's one of the most profitable movies ever made. Last I heard, Mr. Beatty alone has pocketed more than $50 million over the years as producer. Ironic when you consider the movie's subject matter.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: My-New-Favorite-Author Questions 

Where do you go to decompress from the world? I go home and lock the door.

If given $10,000, what would you do with it? I'd split it into thirds. $3,333 would go into my retirement account. $3,333 would go to pay down debt. $3,333 would go into my wallet.

What is one major renovation you would love to make on your house? HA! So many things! 
•  Finish my bathroom
•  Repaint my living room
•  Replace the carpet with hardwood floors or tile
•  Add exposed brick to my dining room

What is one movie that you love and didn’t expect to love? Summer Stock (1950). It gets a lot of lukewarm praise from movie experts and is thought of as a lesser Judy Garland and/or Gene Kelly movie. Yet it's one of my favorite movies ever. Yes, the plot is pure corn. But the romantic scenes make me sigh and the musical numbers make me want to sing along. (Don't worry. I won't sing.)

What is the oldest knick-knack you own and what is its sentimental value? It's not my oldest knick-knack, but it's the one in my sightline as I answer these questions. My mother gave me this Japanese lucky cat nearly 10 years ago. It survives, even as my real live cats insist on knocking it over.

Do you own any books you keep out of obligation, but actually hate? Kind of. There's a local author who attends my church and supports local animal charities. She's an all-around good egg. So I picked up two books from her mystery series at our annual library book sale. The first one left me cold and I have no intention of reading the second. But I'm hanging on to them for a while because right now, every local second-hand book outlet has so many copies of her books and I don't want her to feel discouraged.

How many countries have you visited outside of the one you live in now? Five.

Have you ever read only part of a book, but claimed you’ve read the whole thing? Oh, yes. I don't want to hurt the feelings of the person who recommended it.

Have you ever spent a lot of money on something? What was it? The most expensive thing I've bought is my home.
 
If you could change your name, what would it be? Julie. I feel like a Julie. And when I get older and more stately, you could call me Julia.

What is a nickname a former (or present) lover gave you? Moonbeam.

How do you style your hair? If you just would say "cut" what style is it? It's a short, asymmetrical cut.

How many colors are you wearing now? Two. Blue and white.

What's one piece of fiction that changed your life? Gone with the Wind. Scarlett made me more comfortable with my basic nature. While I can be pushy and loud, I'm nowhere NEAR the bitch she was. And look how she prevailed against war and poverty!

 
Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently? I don't like, or even feel like I belong with, my family lately. For stultifying detail, read the post below.

Tell us about the job that you did before your current one or last one. I was an administrative assistant. Though back in those days, I was called, "Executive Secretary."

What was the last song to get stuck in your head? King George responding to America breaking up with up him. This always makes me smile.



What is your least favorite thing to do that you have to do everyday? Ride the el to work. I'm always late. It's never comfortable. It's just better than sitting in traffic. I wish I could just teleport.

Best time of your life? November 2016. I literally waited a lifetime for this.

Love, love, love

 

What are you most looking forward to in the coming year? Feeling better! 2016 was tough for me, healthwise. So far, so good.

 

¿Esta la familia bastante bien?

"Sí, Señor. Bastante bien." That's about all I remember from high school Spanish.

But no, I'm pissed at my family right now.

"Se's no bien a todos."

Some of it ties back to my mother's death ... more than four years ago. I'm reminded of something Carrie Fisher once wrote, "Nothing is ever over. It's just over there."

When my mother died, she left her three daughters a lot debt.

•  My older sister made it clear she would pay 1/3 of the costs to bury our mother and close out her estate. Not one penny more. AND she wanted to see receipts for everything.

•  My kid sister told me that she would do everything regarding the house -- empty it out, set up the estate sale -- because she had no money.

•  That left me paying 2/3 of the estate costs.

There is more I could say about this situation, but I'll just get myself wound up. These bare bones suitably reflect how unfair it was.

Now my kid sister is taking her entire family on a cruise to Nassau this spring and just yesterday had Lasik surgery.

I wish I could be happier for her than I am. Which is not at all.

Facebook doesn't help. I see my two sisters chattering about how delightful this all is and it makes me want to scream.

Then there's my aunt and my cousin. They each went through landmark changes in 2016. My aunt turned 70. My cousin saw both his kids move out and decided to pursue his dream. He is no longer a music teacher. He is now a full-time, working musician.

They should be happy for each other. Instead, they are not even speaking.

Last June, my aunt and her husband met my cousin and his wife/kids for a long weekend in the Smoky Mountains. It seemed like a good idea. Especially because each household had their own cabin, giving them a chance for time apart. (Maybe I'm projecting here, but I always need "alone time" when I visit people.)

My cousin and my aunt spent one afternoon talking about Donald Trump. Demographics predict the outcome: My aunt lives outside of Tampa, my cousin lives outside of Chicago.

My cousin and his kids came away from the exchange thinking she is homophobic and racist. It really rocked them. For the rest of the trip, the kids -- aged 22 and 20 -- actively avoided their grandmother. They were so saddened and shocked by her political views. She had been the sweet, kind lady who always remembered birthdays and indulged them when they saw her once a year. Now suddenly they discover she's into denying people their basic human rights.

She misinterpreted their reaction as "spoiled brattiness."

The divide has gotten wider. My cousin no longer has a 9-to-5 job, which leaves his days open. And he has spent them protesting Donald Trump at every opportunity. A clip of him appeared on The Rachel Maddow Show, which made him very proud.

His mother is horrified. In an email, she said she was worried about his "puerile behavior."

They are not speaking. At Christmas, he sent them a giftcard. He did not call on Christmas morning, as he always has.

I do not believe my aunt is a homophobic racist. As a teenager, she hung this portrait of JFK beside her bedroom door and kept it there till she married and moved away. That girl simply could not grow up into a homophobic racist.

I do believe that she now takes her worldview from Fox News (her choice) and Rush Limbaugh (which her husband always has on in the car).

I do not believe my cousin's behavior is "puerile." He is expressing his outrage, peacefully and legally. If she didn't object to her neighbors being part of the Tea Party Movement, she shouldn't mind her own son similarly exercising his First Amendment right.

It makes me sad that they are not happier with one another. After all, she's a healthy, active 70-year-old. Yea! He's living his dream with a wife who loves him at his side. Yea!

And yet they are not speaking. It makes me sad.

I'm working to stay as far away from this as I can. As of now, I hear from both of them and I'd like to keep it that way!

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: I'll Be There (1992)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Mariah pledges to "have faith in all you do." Have you recently given someone support or a pep talk? Friday at the office, I listened as a coworker oohed and ahhed about her new fella and reassured her that it can work out.

2) Mariah was at the center of a controversy in Times Square on New Year's Eve when she had audio problems and claimed she could not perform. Times Square is at the busy intersection of Broadway and 7th Avenue. If we went to the busy intersection nearest your home, what would we find? (A store? A church? McDonald's?) The four corners of the busy nearby intersection are: a park, an empty store, the GAP and a Noodles & Co. restaurant.

3) Her nickname in high school was Mirage because she cut school so often. Did you ever play hookey? Yes. I hated school.

4) Mariah doesn't apologize for spoiling her dogs, who have been known to travel by limo. Do you know anyone who treats his/her pets like people? That would be me.

5) Mariah has something to fall back on. She studied cosmetology and worked as a hair sweeper in a salon. When you get your hair cut, do you socialize with the stylist? Yes. I've known him for years and years and years. Decades, even! We even dated for a time a few centuries ago. With so much shared history, we spend most of my hair cut catching up.

6) When married to her first husband, Mariah went vegetarian. Tell us about last night's dinner. Would it qualify as a vegetarian meal? I don't think so. I had a bowl of clam chowder and I suspect strict vegetarians don't eat shellfish.

7) This week's song was introduced by The Jackson 5. Think of your favorite Michael Jackson song. Did he record it solo or with his brothers? In my mind there are two Michaels -- this extravagantly talented little boy and the man who grew into such a complicated tragedy. I love watching this, but I'd like to reach in and save him somehow.



8) In 1992, when this song was popular, The Mall of America opened. Located in Minnesota, it's the biggest mall in the nation, with more than 400 stores. Think about the last thing you purchased. Were you shopping out of necessity, or for fun? FUN! Friday single-game Cub tickets went on sale. Guess who will be in the stands when my guys play the Rockies on June 9!


9) Have you ever shoplifted? (Don't worry. We won't tell.) Nope. Never.

 

She had milk

I got an unexpected text from Kathy today. She was in town from the faraway suburb where she lives with her daughter and family and wondered if I was free for dinner.

It was nice to do something impromptu like this. I don't know why I don't just do things spontaneously anymore, or when I became so regimented. And we had a nice two hour visit. Too much time together and I tend to want to jump out of my skin. But two hours was fine.

The meal was wonderful, too. Spaghetti pie! Warm and gooey and good for the soul. We both had the clam chowder appetizer. I had a cosmo and she had a glass a milk.