Sunday Stealing

Back to Bed

1. Let's say your alarm wakes you up with music. What would be the worst song to hear first thing in the morning? "I Got You, Babe." I like the song well enough, but I'd be afraid I'd found myself in Bill Murray's Groundhog Day.

2. How many pillows do you sleep with? Three. Two on my side of the bed, one that goes untouched on the other side but I keep it there to keep things symmetrical.

3. What size mattress do you sleep on? Full.

4. Do you always sleep on the same side of the bed? Yes. Closest to the door.

5. Do you make your bed every day? The only time I make my bed is when I change the sheets.

6. Do you keep water on your bedside table? Yes. I'm supposed to drink more water and I find that I mindlessly gulp it overnight so that water bottle brings me closer to my 8 glasses.

7. How often do you change your sheets? Weekly.

8. What's under your bed? Stuff. I don't even know for sure.

9. Do you sleep in total darkness or do you like to have a light on? Light.

10. What do you remember about your childhood bedroom? It was yellow. I still have my old yellow/white dressers in my walk-in closet.

 

"The one who always remembers"

That's me, according to my aunt/godmother. Her birthday was Friday and Mother's Day was last Sunday. Apparently it was not a festive week beyond her husband and friends. Her two sons, five grandchildren, and other goddaughter (my kid sister) all seemed to have ignored it, though one daughter-in-law did leave a "HBD" post on her Facebook page.

I sent her a pair of books. She has mentioned that she misses Kinsey Milhone, the Sue Grafton heroine who disappeared from our lives when author Grafton died, and Kay Scarpetta of Patricia Cornwell's series. My aunt feels – and I agree – that the Scarpetta books have become ridiculously complex and violent. (I gave up on Kay before she did.) So I sent my aunt Book #1 in a pair of mystery series I thought she might like: Rachel Knight (for Mother's Day) and Agatha Raisin (for her birthday). Instead of having Amazon send them, I wrapped them myself and included notes as to why I thought she'd like them.

Less than $50 and not really much of my time. The woman is knocking on 80 and is one of two people left on earth who held me as a baby. It made me happy to acknowledge her.

What made me sad is that so few other people did. Of course, she has only herself to blame. Her MAGA lectures are offensive, but she doesn't stop. Can't resist. She shoehorns it into every conversation and it snaps at you when you least expect it. Her children, grandchildren and now my sister can't stand it anymore.

I can. I have mitigated her presence on social media by changing my Facebook settings and have chosen to view her MAGA outbursts like an addiction she can't control. I have decided, too, that Donald Trump has coarsened us and cost us so much in terms of humanity, dignity and spirit.* I refuse to let him take my aunt away, too.

I've come to this conclusion in therapy. I've said these things out loud, worked them through, in sessions with my therapist. I'm a verbal old girl, articulating helps me resolve. My shrink calls my approach "taking one for the team." Making it clear that, out of love and choice – not obligation – I'm accepting a certain amount of unacceptable behavior from her. Oh, I find her views not only reprehensible but dangerous to our democracy. I'm a proud member of the resistance and do what I can, where I can, to peacefully beat MAGA back. But it also makes me happy to bring my aunt joy, especially when she seems to be lacking it. It brings me peace to give her grace. I like myself for how I treat her.

I am sorry for everyone else in this sad saga. For my aunt, for having alienated people she loves. Her children and grandchildren and now my sister, because they haven't felt as peaceful this week as I have.

Therapy is worth the dime and the time, folks. It really is. 

 *I do find it ruefully amusing that, when the tide turns against Trump, it will be because stuff costs more. Not because of January 6 or how he denied people due process and trampled on free speech and the separation of powers. Ah, the Land of the Free! The issues in my little family are just a microcosm of what's eating away at this whole country.

Ssturday 9

Saturday 9: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (1987)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Gracie Slick challenges, "Let them say we're crazy!" Tell us about something you're glad you did, even though your friends or family may have advised you against it. Going on vacation alone. Decades ago – back in the 1990s – a friend and I bought a spa package to the Arlington in Hot Springs. Her little boy (now married!) got sick and she cancelled at the last minute when it was too late for us to get a full refund. I went by myself and had double the hot tub soaks and massages. It was bliss! I began taking solo spa trips every spring for years. I was warned it wasn't safe, that I would be lonely, that it would feel awkward. It never was any of those things. I always came back from these trips rejuvenated by the alone time, and with more focus and insight. 

 

2) Slick is the lead singer of Jefferson Starship. This band got its start in 1965 as Jefferson Airplane but updated their name in 1974. Part of their reasoning was that by the 1970s, airplane travel was commonplace. In 2023, an estimated 820 million Americans flew domestically. When was your most recent flight? When is your next one? My last flight was ORD-LAX and back for the TCM Classic Film Festival last month. My next will be to/from Grand Rapids, Michigan. My niece is adopting a baby who will be born in June. I hope to travel up there some time in the early fall to meet my grand niece.🤞

 
3) Songwriter Albert Hammond said the song was inspired by his divorce. After years of legal wrangling, he was finally free to marry his long-time, long-suffering girlfriend. They're still married today. What is something you waited a long time for? Was it worth the wait? Retirement! As with any major life event, it was disruptive, a little scary and took me a long time to get used to. But yes, I love being able to call my days my own for the first time since I was 17.

 

4) Albert Hammond is perhaps best known as the one-hit wonder who sang, "It Never Rains in Southern California." Is rain expected where you are today? No.

 

5) He co-wrote the song with Diane Warren. In January, she lost her home to the Los Angeles fires. When a friend is confronted by heartache or tragedy, what can you say or do for them? What shouldn't you say or do? I tell them they are in my heart and my prayers. I send cards and emails to reinforce that I am here for them. I do not tell them this (whatever it is) was God's will. I am not presumptuous enough to speak for God! Plus everyone's relationship with God is individual and I respect that. BTW, something Joe Biden often said has helped me through a period of grief: "There will come a day, I promise you, that the memory of your loved one will bring a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye." Wise, sensitive and hopeful words.

6) "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" was the love theme to the romantic fantasy Mannequin. In that movie, a department store mannequin comes to life and falls for a struggling artist. While it was a moderate success at the box office, the gritty Vietnam drama Platoon was a much bigger hit. When you sit down to watch a movie, what genre would you prefer (fantasy, romance, comedy, drama, etc.)? I have a hankering to spend time with the Marx Brothers, so my answer must be comedy. (I love watching Groucho dance. The man cracks me up. And Harpo is so adorable.)

 

 
7) In 1987, when this song was popular, Aretha Franklin became the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Aretha was proud of her Detroit roots. Have you been to Michigan? If yes, where did you go? I've been to Kalamazoo and Grand Rapids to visit various family members. I've never been to Detroit. It might be fun to go up there to see the Tigers play.

 

8) In 1987, the Chevy Corvette made news by adding a low tire pressure light to its dashboard. When you're driving and a yellow warning light comes on, do you handle the issue promptly? Or is it something you'll get to when you get around to it? No car. But I did learn, while I was working for a car care client, that drivers often consider yellow or orange warning lights as "low priority." That attitude, while common, is a good way to do real damage to your vehicle. (Listen to the lady who doesn't drive.)

9) Random question: A magic mirror reflects your appearance five years from today. Would you look at it? I don't know. I lost two close friends in 2024 and wonder how I would feel if I looked into the mirror and didn't see anything. (I know, that's a serious answer to a frivolous question. Sorry to be such a bummer.)

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #410

The motor boat edition. Here are thirteen facts about that most delightful sound: the purr.

1. Technically, a purr is not a "vocalization." The mouth is not involved at all. Muscles in the larynx vibrate and the sound is emitted as the cat breathes in and out.

2. The most common reason why a cat purrs is happiness. A purring cat is the ideal representation of contentment.

3. Mother cats purr after giving birth. Newborns are deaf and blind, so that vibration is how mothers and babies bond.

4. Kittens start purring themselves within a day or so of birth. They use their purr to let mama kitty know where they are.

5. A purr can be a manipulative act. Oh, boy! Do I know this one! My girl cat, Connie, makes serious eye contact and purrs like mad when she wants treats. She knows she's cute and that I find her irresistible.

6. It's kitty self care. Vets report that their hum calms them and helps them recover from illness or injury. I know Connie purrs when she's scared.

7. It's helpful to humans, too. Studies have shown that listening to a cat's purr can literally reduce blood pressure. 

8. It's rare, but occasionally vets come across a cat that doesn't purr. This is unique to the cat. Purrlessness is not tied to any breed.

9. Lions and tigers do not purr, but cheetahs and bobcats do.

10. Elephants often purr when they eat. Some believe it's their way of communicating to the rest of the herd, "This is good. This is safe."

11. Guinea pigs purr when they're happy.

12. Like cats and kittens, mother raccoons purr to comfort their kits.

13. Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt and Lee Merriwether also purred ... magnificently. 

 

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

 

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Competing with Idiots by Nick Davis. This dual biography of Herman and Joseph Mankiewicz was written by Herman's grandson, and his being a Mankiewicz adds dimension to the story.

 

Herman wrote Pride of the Yankees (see below) and another little movie you've likely heard of: Citizen Kane. His kid brother Joe won four Oscars. Herman's son Frank was Sen. Robert Kennedy's press aide and is the one who told the world of the second Kennedy assassination. Two of Nick's cousins – Ben and Josh – went on to have TV careers. Ben is the main host of TCM and a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning. Josh is a regular on Dateline. So the Mankiewicz clan is an interesting group of over achievers, and I like hearing about them from the inside.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? The Luckiest Man: The Life and Death of Lou Gehrig by Jonathan Eig. I've seen Pride of the Yankees, the classic film about Lou Gehrig, many times. His wife, played by Teresa Wright, is portrayed as loyal, steadfast, true and oh-so wholesome. The truth is less wholesome but far more interesting.

Eleanor Twitchell had been a flapper. She drank, smoked and partied. She was "a lady with a past." When Lou married her, he was 30 and likely America's most eligible bachelor. He was also painfully shy around women and had lived at home with his overbearing mother his entire life. Eleanor rocked his world. Yes, she enjoyed going to Yankee Stadium wearing stylish hats and fur stoles. But she gave her husband the confidence to finally enjoy his fame and wealth, too. Before Eleanor, he simply signed every contract the Yankees gave him, even though he was an All Star and a World Series Champion. After her, he negotiated. He got over his shyness, appearing on Wheaties boxes and radio shows and even a Hollywood movie. While fishing alone on a boat remained his favorite past time, with Eleanor he traveled, dined out and took up ice skating.

Lou was always stoic about everything, but it was Eleanor who first suspected something was amiss. During the offseason, she insisted he see a doctor. (A personal physician, not one of the Yankees doctors.) Lou was misdiagnosed – ALS was not well known at the time – but it showed how well she knew and cared for her man. 

Theirs was a marriage of opposites, she was his perfect partner. Hers was the last face he saw before he slipped into a coma. The real Eleanor was too flashy a wench for MGM when they made Pride of the Yankees, but I thought their romance was the best part of this book. PS I liked all the baseball, too!

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

Sunday Stealing

The Bathroom Meme

1. Do you shampoo once or lather, rinse and repeat? I shampoo once.

2. Do you use conditioner a) daily, b) when you need it, c) never? Daily.

3. What's your shaving cream preference: foam or gel? Gel, I suppose. But I have foam right now because it was on sale.

4. Is your toothbrush manual or electric? Manual.

5. Dental floss, soft picks, neither or both? Soft pick, though I lie when the dentist asks and tell him both.

6. Do you use mouthwash a) daily, b) when you need it, c) never? B. Usually to help soothe angry gums after dental work, or when I worry that my breath may offend.

7. Are there magazines in your bathroom? Nope.

8. Is there bar soap or liquid soap on your bathroom sink? Bar.

9. What kind of soap is in your shower? Body wash.

10. Now for the most important question: does the toilet paper drape over or under? Over! Over over over over. Under is just wrong.

 

She's an old girl

My Connie Cat is so lively, it's easy to forget she's 13 years old, or 68 in human years. Saturday's trip to the vet brought it into sharp relief.

I knew she was going to need dental work. I put $2,000 of my tax refund aside for this purpose. It's not going to be enough.

Because of her age and her health issues, simply getting teeth pulled is not simple. Today was the geriatric blood panel ($370). It was only the first step in the process. Next, she will have an electrocardiogram – needed because of her heart murmur. Finally, she can have the teeth pulled. Now we're closer to $3,000.

No, I'm not happy about this. But after those two bad teeth are gone, she will be more comfortable. And healthier. Those raw gums can be a gateway to infection, and in a senior cat, infections can get serious quickly. 

Plus, we're in this together. While I can intellectualize concern about the money and ramifications of anesthesia, she is going to be in terror throughout this process. This morning, when she realized I was putting her in the carrier, she gave out this sad, plaintive howl, as though if she asked, she could dissuade me. When I was checking her in at the vet, she began to sing because she couldn't see me. During the exam – which included having her abdomen palpated and blood drawn – she was silent, distant, terrified. Granted, she was over it within a half hour of being home with Roy Hobbs. But it was heartbreaking to witness in real time.

She hates being outside. She hates strangers touching her. Every trip to the vet is a torment she can't understand, and this dental adventure will include three vet trips. So as unhappy as I am, she is that frightened. But we will get through this together, Connie and I.

Photo by Sueda Güzeldere on Unsplash

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Mama Liked the Roses (1970)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Elvis tells us his mother loved tending the roses in the garden. Do you have a green thumb? I don't have a garden, but I do well with the potted plants I have hidden in my den. (If my cats knew they were in there, they'd say, "Hey! Thanks for the salad bar!")

2) Mama would put the roses in a vase in the living room. Do you have cut flowers in your home right now? Nope. I got out of the habit of having flowers at home because my cat Reynaldo would knock the vase over (snap) like that.

 
3) Elvis sings that he found Mama's rose petals pressed in the family Bible. Have you ever pressed petals in a book? If yes, what occasion were you commemorating? I've never done this.

4) OK, so now we know Mama liked roses. What about you? Would you prefer white, pink, yellow or red roses? I like yellow. I've never received white, but I think those are very pretty, too.

5) Elvis' own mother, Gladys Presley, had a major impact on pop culture. When her son was 11, he asked for either a rifle or a bicycle for his birthday. She deemed the rifle too dangerous and the bike too expensive, and so he chose a guitar instead. The rest is history. Tell us about a special birthday gift from your youth. I vividly recall the Addams Family game I received at my second grade birthday party. It was from Janet. She'd gone through Kindergarten and first grade with us but then her family moved – less than 5 miles away but a different school district. None of us had seen her since school let out the previous summer and when she showed up at my November birthday party, it was a massive big deal. I don't think I ever saw her again, but her attendance at my party helped all of us little girls adjust. I think my mom was very wise in making that happen.

6) Abraham Lincoln credited his stepmother, Sarah, for her lasting influence on his life, saying she ignited his love of reading and learning. Tell us about a woman -- mother, stepmother, grandmother, aunt, Godmother, teacher, neighbor -- who changed your life for the better. My cousin Rosemary. About a decade older than me, she showed me by example that there was a different path. She never tried to influence me, but she did always listen, encourage and support. I have tried to pay this forward and have always used Rosie as my role model when I spend time with my niece and nephew.

7) Mother's Day is almost upon us. According to the National Restaurant Association, we like to eat out on this holiday, with revenue up more than 80% on Mother's Day weekend. When did you last dine at a restaurant? Was it a special occasion? Just this afternoon (Friday) I had lunch with my friend Joanna at the bar in the Palmer House. It's a beautiful room, and one of her favorites. I suppose it was a special occasion in that the Palmer House is celebrating 100 years in this spot. I'm lucky to have Joanna remind me of places like this. She loves Chicago as only a transplant can (she moved here in 2001) and delights in things I can take for granted because they've been there my entire life.

 

8) Candles are a big seller for Mother's Day, too. What's your favorite candle scent? I don't do candles for the same reason I don't do cut flowers (cats). But I'm crazy about a pine candle we sell at the card shop each Christmas. If you stand in just the right spot in front of the display, it's heaven.

9) Sam is celebrating Mother's Day with her mother's favorite, Hershey Bars. Would you prefer classic milk chocolate, dark chocolate or chocolate with almonds? Milk chocolate with almonds.

 

 

Mothers and sons

I'm going to begin this post with a disclaimer: I had a fractious relationship with my father. He thought I was, in the vernacular of the time, "a bleeding heart liberal," unfeminine and uninclined to accept what he felt was "the natural order of things." Meaning that blacks and women should "wait" for equal rights and not question the white patriarchy. Because I so comfortably toss the word "fuck" around, he used to cluck that it was "sad" I had to "advertise" my "poor vocabulary." Toward the end of my father's life, when his career had crashed on the shoals, I helped my parents out financially. I am proud to say I never once said, "Your homeowner's insurance, gas and electricity come to you courtesy of my career as a writer and my poor vocabulary." (I'm not a saint; I was tempted. But I didn't do it. Perhaps because, at our core, bleeding heart liberals are compassionate.)

Why this preamble? Because I'm about to write about a phenomenon I see all around me and don't understand: Sons who have cut contact with their mothers. 

1) My oldest sister and her son. Patty has two kids with her first husband. Brent, the first grandchild on either side of the family, was treated as something glorious and retained his halo, even into adulthood. Patty and her husband had a very angry divorce and her ex was out of the picture. Brent struggled mightily in school. College was out of the question and he couldn't keep a job. Patty told him he had to enlist in the military. He made a career for himself in the Navy and this gave him the confidence to say "aloha" to his mother. He moved to Oregon with his new wife and doesn't visit, doesn't return phone calls. He has a daughter Patty hasn't seen. I don't know exactly what Patty did that he deems so monstrous. I don't get along with her either, so I don't judge. I'm just reporting it.

2) Kathy and Rick. My friend Kathy worshipped Rick. She referred to his blond locks as "a wheat field." She excused every instance of his bad behavior, even as he caused her grief. I recall her agony when he was suspended for going to school with a knife strapped to his calf. "Why does he have to do that to express himself?" I always thought Rick was an ass, but that's because when he was in his teens I was in my mid-20s and he'd flirt with me. I mean really, how many of your parents' friends did you hit on? Anyway, Kathy also had a daughter. When Kathy hit hard times financially, it was her daughter and son-in-law who (reluctantly) took her in. This is where the story gets complicated. Kathy's son-in-law and son became business partners. When the business fell apart, Kathy sided with her son-in-law because she had to. After all, he was providing the roof over her head. Rick felt betrayed and hasn't spoken to his mother or sister since. He lives within a half hour of his mother, now 78, and likely isn't aware that she's disappearing into dementia. I think this is tragic. 

3) My aunt and my cousin. This is the one I know the most about because I've worked hard to stay out of it. Back in the summer of 2016, when most of my family was consumed with Cub Fever (we were en route to our first World Series championship in 108 years), my aunt/godmother was bit by the MAGA bug. That summer she and her husband went on a family vacation – Friday to Monday – with my cousin, his wife and their two kids (one finishing high school, the other just returned from college). The first night, she just couldn't resist being Trumpy. Her grandchildren were shocked to learn that Oma was, in their words, "a racist homophobe." The vacation was over by dinnertime Saturday. When the grandson got married two summers later, they invited her to the wedding – all the while hoping she wouldn't make the trip. But she did, and it did not go well. They felt she was unnecessarily provocative, she felt unwelcome and deeply hurt. 

My cousin has told me how desperately disillusioned he is with his mother and her hypocrisy. After all, she's the one who made him go to Sunday School, the one who insisted he follow Christ, and she spews nothing but intolerance and grievance. I get it, of course. But while he, his wife and kids have ended communication with her, I just sent her a pair of books for her birthday and Mother's Day (she's my godmother). Donald Trump has cost us all so much already. Our humanity, our dignity, the separation of powers, and now our retirement savings. I refuse to let him take my aunt away from me. She's one of two people left on the planet who held me as a baby. I know she is confused and hurt and misses her son, but she has learned nothing from this and still occasionally goes MAGA on my ass. It's like an addiction she can't control. 

4) My oldest friend and her son. She got pregnant the first time when she didn't think she could and consequently always thought of her son as "a miracle." "The most beautiful baby ever." Her daughter, born eight years later, was planned but somehow not so miraculous. She and her husband divorced when the boy was in junior high. She relied on her son too much. I told her so. He wasn't ready to be "the man of the house." He had his own anger/anxiety issues and needed a mother, not another responsibility. However I know she was doing the best she could and I am not judging. I just see it from his point of view, too. Anyway, long story short, he got married and moved to Philadelphia and is completely unavailable to his mother. He hasn't spoken to her since Christmas, even though he knows she's been in and out of the ER and the hospital since February. When his sister texts him for help, his responses are short and dismissive: "5150 her" and "Told you so." If he doesn't reach out to her this Sunday for Mother's Day, my oldest friend will be so hurt. I hope he surprises me and calls or at least texts her, but I doubt that will happen.

Back to me and my dad. No one has ever made me angrier. I can recall him literally making my knees go weak in rage. I regularly felt misunderstood and confused. Someone who was supposed to love me undermined me instead of supporting me. And yet, there was never a birthday or Father's Day that my dad didn't get a card from me. I didn't always sign them, "With love," but they arrived on time. I showed up for every (awkward) Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. When he needed financial help, I opened my checkbook. To be honest, that was more to help my mother. Still, as I said before, I'm proud that I allowed my father to retain his dignity even as I rescued him. As he lie dying in the hospital, I showed up to say goodbye and called him "Daddy."

So I don't understand these mothers and sons and their estrangements. I just don't. I do understand the hurt on both sides. I also appreciate that some relationships are so toxic and emotionally expensive you simply have to walk away. But in my life, that has applied to lovers and my older sister, Patty. I can't imagine amputating my parents. 

Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

Thursday Thirteen #409

The worrisome edition. I'm a worrier. It's my go-to. I want everyone in my sphere – pets, friends, family, ballplayers, you name it – to be happy and well and when I can't fix what's bothering them, I fixate. I also want projects to go well and feel achingly responsible when they don't, which is why I'm grateful for my job at the card shop. When I leave at the end of my shift, there's really nothing for me to worry about.

 

I'm not alone in this worrying thing. According to Forbes magazine, anxiety disorders are the most commonly treated mental health condition in the US today. So, what are we all worrying about? I tooled around the web and here's what I found. (My personal demons italicized.)

1. Job and/for financial security. (Which is why anyone who applauds a billionaire taking a chainsaw to people's jobs and emotional/fiscal well being is an asshole.)

2. Health concerns.

3. Death.

4. Romantic relationships.

5. Parents worried about children.

6. Social situations.

7. Environmental concerns/global warning.

8. Travel. (I love being on vacation, but going to/from is a torment.)

9. Adult children worried about parents.

10. Fear of failure. (In my previous life, I handled big budgets and I worried about disappointing my client or, by failing, putting my team at risk.)

11. Aging. (My friend Kathy's age-related mental decline has scared the shit out of me.)

12. Concern over the state of the nation. (Me? I'm a fan of Madisonian Democracy, so I see Donald Trump as a threat.)

13.  Technological privacy.

There are those who advise, "Let go and let God." Yeah, but it doesn't work that way. I believe God gives us our lives, His unfailing love and the promise of Eternal Life, but what we do here on earth is on us. I don't believe that God will make sure the mechanic does a good job on the plane before I board any more than He will help when the bases are loaded and there are two outs in the bottom of the 9th. (And if He were to help, would He intervene on the batter's behalf or the pitcher's?) When I pray, it's for strength and wisdom, not an outcome.

What about you? What keeps you up, and why?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? The Luckiest Man: The Life and Death of Lou Gehrig by Jonathan Eig. Even people who don't follow sports know Lou Gehrig. His heroic public battle with ALS and that famous speech about being "the luckiest man on the face of the earth," even as his life was ebbing away, are immortal.

His baseball stats are impressive. A lifetime .340 hitter, he appeared in a record-setting 2,130 consecutive games. He was the first athlete to appear on a Wheaties box. As a teammate, he was as modest and dedicated as he was talented. He's the hero every kid should emulate, and Eig tells his story with respect and clarity.

 

But here's the thing: charisma is intangible. I've read two biographies of his fellow Yankee Babe Ruth and the Babe is simply more interesting. Certainly more flawed. Nowhere near as nice as Gehrig. Not even as handsome. But the Babe was more compelling and a lot more fun.

2. What did you recently finish reading? The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough. Back in the day, this book and the mini-series it inspired caused a sensation. Oh! The forbidden love between the priest, Father Ralph, and the beautiful Meggie, who loved him her whole life!

Yeah, whatever. Read now, Ralph and Meggie were drips. She loved Ralph the way I love Paul McCartney. There was no depth to her feeling, nothing real that a relationship could ever have been built upon. And Ralph! There was little about service or the love of Christ in his priesthood. He seemed to view it as a road to success (and he does end up a cardinal). In this century, he might have been just as dedicated to advancing at Microsoft or Meta. I didn't like either of them and didn't give a shit if they were happy or not.

Still, I'm glad I stuck with it. Two of the supporting characters, Meggie's twin uncles, served in WWII and their experiences in combat were harrowing and heartbreaking. I also found Meggie's children, Justine and Dane, very interesting.

But I don't recommend this book. Gone with the Wind was far more original, with more vivid characters. Even when I didn't like Scarlett O'Hara, she never bored me the way Meggie Cleary did. When GWTW was over, I missed the denizens of Tara and Atlanta. I doubt that I'll give The Thorn Birds folks another thought, ever.

3. What will you read next? Competing with Idiots by Nick Davis. 

I'm verklempt

Part of why the pregnant girl chose my niece and her husband to adopt her baby is LGBTQ rights. Apparently she and her boyfriend both have gay relatives and want to be sure that if their baby turns out to be homosexual, she will be raised in a loving, accepting environment.

It's a sign of how comfortable we've become with homophobia that this is a concern of a young girl looking do right for her unborn child. I mean, it's easy to laugh at the hysterical MAGA attack on DEI extending to the Enola Gay, but when you think it through, it's not funny. Trump supporters seem to embrace the idea that gay pride should not be celebrated. Many wrap themselves in my Christian faith, which not only offends me personally, it's unconstitutional, since we are supposed to have a secular government. It's sad and worrying for young people trying to find acceptance in our society.

Which is why I'm so grateful – again and always – that God brought Henry into my life. Henry was not only an out-and-proud gay man, he was all about love and empathy. My niece never knew a time without Henry as a positive role model in her life. Example: During the summer between second and third grade, she had a growth spurt. When she returned to school, she was a head taller than her tallest classmate. She felt like a giantess. She compensated by insisting on wearing only dresses -- the frillier the better -- never slacks because dresses were what she needed to feel pretty. The battles between my little niece and her mother were fucking epic. I shared this Henry. He promptly got on his bike and rode across the island to the Lilly Pulitzer outlet store. He reasoned -- correctly, of course -- that none of her midwestern classmates would be wearing resortwear for back-to-school. She felt beautiful and proud in her lilac and pink floral dresses from faraway Key West. My niece is now over 30 and can still describe those dresses in detail. 

I know that, when the birth parents questioned my niece and her husband about their LGBTQ attitudes, Henry was not far from my niece's mind. So Henry is helping to deliver the baby they want into their family. I believe that where he is, he knows this, and he's smiling.

Henry may be gone, but his love and lessons are ours forever.

 

 

SUNDAY STEALING

Time Travel

 What were you doing ...

1. Twenty years ago? In spring/summer 2005, my Cubs weren't doing so great, but my favorite-ever pitcher, Hall of Famer Greg Maddux, was back in Cubbie blue so I was happy. I think I had a nice office. The agency I worked for rearranged and moved us often, and having a good office had a major impact on my attitude toward coming to work. I was still a redhead and I still had a waist. My cats were Joey, Charlotte and Reynaldo.

2. Ten years ago? In spring/summer 2015, I was immersed in The Big Project. It was the highest-profile assignment, with the biggest budget, I would ever have in my career. I didn't know it then (wouldn't know until fall), but I acquitted myself well and it would be a success. Joe Maddon was managing the Cubs and the glory days were upon us. (I'm still a little in love with Joe.) Connie had just joined Joey and Reynaldo.

3. Five years ago? In spring/summer 2020, we were on Covid lockdown and I was obsessed with finding Cubbie blue masks. My cat Reynaldo really, really loved me working from home. I reread To Kill a Mockingbird, which was a good and inspiring choice, and rediscovered That Girl, which I loved as a little girl. I stopped wearing contact lenses because I didn't want to be touching my eyeballs all the time during a pandemic. I don't miss them and kind of like switching up glass frames.

4. One year ago? In spring/summer 2024, Anthony Rizzo hit his 300th homerun so I was happy. I had a wonderful time at the TCM Classic Film Festival, but so many of us returned home from the fest with colds/flu. This year I masked up for my flights and stayed healthy. I think that, like wearing my glasses every day instead of contacts, wearing a mask when I am on an airplane is my new normal. Catwise, it's Connie and Roy Hobbs.

5. Yesterday? Got my hair cut, had lunch with my nephew, bought my niece a Mother's Day card, and watched my Cubs kick Brewer ass.

Bonus! What will you do tomorrow? Monday I'm going to the dentist.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Georgia on My Mind (1978)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This lyrics refer to "an old sweet song." What old sweet song is a favorite of yours? "More Than You Know" was published in 1929. This is one of my favorite Streisand performances.  

 

 

 

2) Composer Hoagy Carmichael said he was inspired by saxophonist Frankie Trumbauer to write a song about Georgia. In those days, bands traveled by bus and Frankie enjoyed rolling through Georgia. Hoagy recalled that Frankie even volunteered the first two words, "Georgia, Georgia ..." If we were to organize a Saturday 9 bus trip, where would you recommend we go for lovely scenery? Arkansas. I used to take an annual spring spa trip to Hot Springs and there was a courtesy van that would pick me up at the airport in Little Rock and take me to my hotel. The hour-long drive was lovely. Lots of rolling hills and dense green foliage. I love Chicagoland, but it's very flat here and in late March, the trees are still bare, so I really enjoyed that drive.

 

3) This version of "Georgia on My Mind" was controversial before it was even recorded. Willie Nelson's label, Columbia, didn't see the point of their outlaw country star singing an old standard that was associated with Ray Charles and Ella Fitzgerald. Willie had the last laugh. This record was a hit and Willie won a Grammy. Tell us about a time when you were a success despite opposition. Oh, this is an example of why I'm glad to be out of advertising. My client wanted us to save them money by encouraging customers to pay bills online rather than through the mail. I suggested using a simple front/back "buck slip" inserted in their monthly statement. One side would say, "Go Paperless. Save  Trees." and the other side would show how paper – and trees – could be saved annually if just 10% of customers switched to online payment.

 

My boss thought it was a good idea, but that I was "wasting" it on a buck slip. "No one reads those!" he insisted. Why don't we send a letter? It's more likely to be read and we would have more space to do an emotional appeal about saving water and trees and landfill space ... how we'd be helping future generations ... how we could toss in a buck slip but it would show a child planting a seedling on the front ...

 

I was like, "But we'd using more paper to discuss how bad using paper is." After all, his idea would include a separate envelope and an additional 8 1/2 x 11 sheet. As a consumer, that would set off my bullshit meter. Plus it would cost the client more in production and postage. My boss argued, "It will pay for itself."

 

He really didn't like being disagreed with.  At least not by me. He said he would present both concepts to the client and let them decide. HE would present? He never presented! I knew what he would do: he'd say, "you could just do a nice little buck slip ... or an effective, heart-tugging appeal that's certain to change minds and behavior." 

Well, based on the cost of the two concepts, the client chose mine. Every step of the way through execution, my boss bitched and complained. "I can't believe they chose THIS!" he would say as he approved first the copy, then the layout, then the final print. Over and over he made it clear that my idea was deficient and lame.

 

He was the Vice President/Creative Director. He could have killed my idea before the client ever saw it. Instead he presented it, along with his own, just so he could prove me wrong. Put me in my place. What a petty shit he was. We worked for the same agency. Any time the client was happy with us was a win for us. Not in his eyes. 

 

This kind of thing happened all the freaking time. I'm glad to work at the card shop.

 
4) While it's at odds with his "outlaw" image, Willie was a popular and active high school student. He played three sports and was a member of Future Farmers of America. What school activities did you participate in during your teen years? I wasn't big on participation. I'd join a club at the beginning of the year so I could work on and ride the homecoming float, but then drop out before Christmas.

 

5) Willie once worked as a tree trimmer, so clearly he didn't suffer from acrophobia. How about you? Do you have a fear of heights? Nope.

 

6) He wrote the lyrics to one of his biggest hits, "On the Road Again," during a flight, using the airplane barf bag as scrap paper. That was back in 1980. In 2025, do you handwrite onto note paper, or do you make all your "notes to self" digitally? I scribble on lined paper.

7) In 1978, when Willie was singing "Georgia on My Mind," audiences were flocking to see the movie Grease. What's your favorite song from Grease? The first one that comes to mind is "Summer Nights." Wella, wella, wella, ooh, tell me more, tell me more ... 

8) Also in 1978, Karina Smirnoff was born. After spending her early years in the Ukraine, she came to America and found success on Dancing with the Stars. Are you a DWTS fan? I was during the early seasons but I've lost interest.

 

9) Random question: Do you ever carry a backpack? Not often. I switched to a backpack during my vacation at the TCM Classic Film Festival. It holds so much and made it possible for me to not keep running back to my hotel room. But for day to day, the backpack is in the closet.