Hurt? Angry? Sad? All three!

On 1/20 I posted this photo to Facebook. It's the 2024 chocolate Advent calendar I'd just laid waste to. I explained that Corporate decreed my card shop could no longer sell them and they had to be "destroyed." Obviously by inhaling all this chocolate, I'm just being a team player.

I thought it was funny.

My aunt responded, "What a perfect way to celebrate this most joyful day!"

Since it was Monday, a Federal holiday, I clicked "like" and said: "This is the first MLK Day I've ever worked and after my shift I promised myself I'd do good by creating extra cards for Letters Against Isolation. The sugar buzz helped carry me through! Happy Martin Luther King Day."

Her response: "Who? In our home we're celebrating Donald Trump's inaugural and an end to corruption and lawlessness."

What the ever-loving fuck? Dr. Martin Luther King merits a "who?" Plus, she knows how I feel about Donald Trump. Which is exactly the same way her son, her daughter-in-law and adult grandchildren feel about him. Because of her aggressive Trumpiness, she is estranged from them. She has learned nothing from this and is working on alienating me now.

I posted chocolate. She responded by gloating about the election. She used this opportunity to hurt me. Someone who is supposed to love me went out of her way to wound me, disrespect Dr. King and ignore the service the I did in his memory.

I deleted her response. To paraphrase her, "In this home, we celebrate Dr. King." I won't have him minimized.

This made her angry and she's now ignoring me. Well, guess what: I'm angry, too.

And hurt that "being right" about Donald Trump is apparently more important to her than my feelings. And sad that she can't stop herself. I know she feels bad that she has a great-grandchild she hasn't seen and that the only Mother's Day gifts she received last year were from me (she's my godmother). 

My cousin (her son) has repeatedly told me how disillusioning it is when the woman who insisted you go to Sunday School, who extolled Christian values, just can't stop being intolerant, belligerent, racist and homophobic. I get that. The hypocrisy is stunning. 

But I will heal. I'm not letting her go. She's 78 years old. She has had health problems and her husband recently battled cancer. At this point in her life, losing me would hurt more than she knows. If I still haven't heard from her by April, when I go to the TCM Film Festival, I'll still send her a postcard and buy a souvenir. I'll still send her a birthday card and Mother's Day gift come May. 

It really doesn't cost me much to be kind. If she were to take off her MAGA glasses, I bet she'd see our relationship the same way.