I'm encouraged to participate in this November challenge with my church congregation.
Inspiring Compassion: The 30 Day Compassion Challenge. 30 days to explore the topic of compassion: Mindfulness, Compassion for Friends & Family, Self-Compassion, Compassion for All, Compassion for Our Planet.
I messed up today and I felt bad.
Tuesday is the day we work in-office. There are so many weird little things that come up that I don't anticipate, things that occur because it's the only day we see one another. So I was late for a meeting. As I swung by the conference room, I put down my mug and ran to get my computer, saying, "Sorry I'm running late. Mary shanghaied me on my way to the coffee room."
When I came back, one of my millennial coworkers was reading the Oxford definition of "shanghaied" to the room. Apparently, the 20somethings had never heard it before.
I now know why. Hearing the definition, I realize how racially insensitive it is.
It doesn't matter that I said it innocently. I was wrong.
I'm relieved that at least I got it. One of the more confusing conundrums of today's political divide is how somehow racism is equated to patriotism and Christianity. (Note that some of the people who insist on calling covid "The China Virus" are ones who insist Christ guides their lives.)
I learned. I regret. I will change my behavior. Time to move on, a little better for the experience. File this one under Self Compassion.
I ran across a situation like this last night. In talking to my cousin. Her husband is of Mexican/Indigenous descent, and mine is Puerto Rican. I referred to "latin men" and their emotions (in a fun way). She got a bit bent by "Latin". I was at a loss, so I asked her to educate me on what I should use. "Don't paint them with a broad brush" she says to me. I'm still confused by that statement...I consider myself pretty sensitive generally. I've got to think on this a bit more.
ReplyDeleteIt is always good to think about what we say. Thanks for telling this story. I need to be more careful too. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI used the word "kosher" as in, making something good/clean, when I was with my chiropractor a while back - she's Jewish. After I said it, I realized I should stop using that word. Another that my generation uses is "Oriental" and I've tried to stop that using that one, too. I'd have never thought about shanghaied, although I would have used it as you did as well. I'll add that one to the list, so thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI was talking to my students about the 1st Amendment and about how language evolves and I told them that when I was growing up (and even today) I used the word "queer" to be odd or peculiar, not to be a slur, and that I have to catch myself from using the word. We had a really interesting conversation.
ReplyDeleteThis probably got too long. Sorry, Gal.
ReplyDeleteThis is to you and CountryDew: I really don’t feel that the words “kosher” or “Shanghaied” are derogative. Im saying this because I’m hyper alert to ethnic or racial slurs, having lived in California and been subjected to all sorts of racial slurs at school and in daily life, growing up, because of my French last name. It was mistaken for a Spanish name. And everyone knows how “Mexicans” are dissed here.
Happy Birthday!!
ReplyDelete