Friday, December 09, 2016
Happy birthday to me, part 7
Wednesday night was a mixed bag with Barb, as time with Barb just naturally will be from now on. She is, after all, dealing with her husband's lung cancer while building a new house in another city and trying to get her own breast reconstruction done.
So the fact that she point zero thought into my birthday gift -- a candle and bar of soap -- hurt at first but then I got a hold of myself. No, I'm not a priority for her right now. And while that stings, I have to suck it up and accept that this is how it has to be
Barb also didn't like the play. I sent her a link days before, but she never opened it. So I was offended at first when she said she hoped it would be a musical -- showtunes about autism? -- and she was offended that a dog was killed (before the play starts). But again, the regular rules don't apply right now. Her life is overwhelming her. This is my time to step up and be more sensitive.
The good news is that her husband has actually gained 10 lbs.! That's an indication that the chemo is working. The contractors on her home in Hilton Head have figured out how to add an elevator to their new home without prohibitive cost. It will make it possible for her husband to go from the garage up to their bedroom without using stairs, which will probably always be too taxing for his compromised lungs.
I'm a little confused about her the state of her reconstructive surgery. First it was on hold because of her infection, then there was dimpling and now her breasts don't match. I don't have any more detail than that because I don't ask questions. I just let her talk. This is intensely personal and she'll let me know what she's comfortable with me knowing.