Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Listening to the Snarkestra

SnarkyPants (Lisa) ends her Christmas Day post by asking: "If you could do what truly makes your heart sing, what would it be?"

I've been giving this, and Lisa's personal journey, a great deal of thought. I haven't been happy lately. It's not my job. My job -- though fraught with stress and difficulty -- is just that: a job. No, all my problems are far closer to home.

I've made a mess of life and I'm overwhelmed. I'm fat, I'm over my head in debt, and I'm such a terrible housekeeper that tenacious drainflies have taken up residency in my kitchen.

I'm the only one who can fix these things. Yet I'm frozen in place, like a cat tranquilized with acepromazine maleate. I'm not hypnotized, I'm not depressed, I'm not drunk. I'm just stalled.

So, to answer Snarkster's question, if I could do what truly makes my heart sing, I would straighten up my backstage. The area the audience never sees. I would get my world in order. My finances and my home. Then, I suspect, the rest will fall into place. I believe then I'll have the energy and enthusiasm to see the rest of my life and its possibilities better.

I'm the only one who can do this. And as we approach the new year, this seems like a good time to resolve to get off my fat ass and change things.

1) Every month, I will take one bag over to Goodwill. It gets stuff out of here and it helps others.

2) Every week, I will brown bag it at least once. This is the easiest way I can think of to save money, and I've got to start somewhere.

3) Every purchase will be scrutinized. No more just buying shit to make me feel better. It's stupid, and besides, it hasn't made me feel any better.

Looked at one way, these three steps are just a little spit into the ocean. Looked at another way, it's a start. And I've got to start somewhere. Wish me luck.


  1. Nothing like depression to get you stalled, and create a self-perpetuating cycle of bleh. It's great that you're taking steps to break out of the cycle again. It's hard to stay motivated, so having reasonable goals where you can see the improvement (a bag to Goodwill, the money from your brownbag lunch going to pay down a bill) will really help. You're on your way!

    Lifehacker ( has frequent articles on how to stay motivated, especially with finances. Like waiting 24 hours before making a purchase. Changing it up can really help.

    Good luck, and stay motivated!

  2. Oh, how I can relate to this! I have got to get my act together and clean up my environment! Not just the clutter of stuff surrounding me, but the financial clutter, the emotional clutter, and... well, all of the clutter. I'm going to start small with you. This is going to be the year!

  3. Well, I'm honored to be featured here! And I'm with you on cleaning up my backstage too. "How you do one thing is how you do everything" so they say and if that's true, then I seem to live my life half-assed. That needs to change.

    I like your incremental movements and with that as a baseline, who knows what more will show up?

    For me, getting to the gym 3x a week and just MOVING is my goal. There's no "30 mins on treadmill" - just move my body and then go again and again and keep moving.

    We all have to start somewhere. Hold my hand and I'll hold yours (virtually speaking).

    Much love to you!

  4. you can do it...and all of us will be the encouragement you need...and will will listen to you and not judge you.
    we all have issues...truly we do.
    GO FOR IT GAL!!!
    sending lots of


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