Annoyed at my annoyance

I know my Cousin Rose loves me. That's why I hate how annoyed I get with her. I got a letter from her on Tuesday and I still haven't responded because the tone was so unpleasant.

It's not personal. She's not grumpy with me. Rose is just grumpy. But it makes hearing from her and writing to her so not fun.

I think part of the problem is that her divorce several years ago broke her heart. She hasn't been the same since. As Henry Bushkin wrote of Johnny Carson after his divorce, Rose has "an overall harshness, an impatient tolerance that wasn't there before."

Then there are her health problems. She's looking at surgery for her parathyroid. Now I know I shouldn't wish surgery on anyone, but I've been reading about this and maybe it will help. The symptoms of this condition include "headaches, fatigue and depression." If this (comparatively) minor surgery helps her feel better, well, then that would be great.

Because, as I keep reminding myself, as hard as it can be to be around her sometimes, it must be a million times harder to be her.