I realized during my mother's service that, even though he died nearly two years ago, I'm still not over her baby brother, my uncle.
At my mom's house I found a
letter I wrote him in "Agust 13, 1967" when he was in Viet Nam. Lined
paper, torn from my spiral school notebook. "I hear you were in battle. I
bet it wasn't fun. Please don't get hurt!" Do you realize he
kept that in his foot locker, brought it home, and took it with him
every time he moved over the decades until he died? He and I, we loved
each other.
I didn't expect to still feel so bad about him. It makes me wonder when the full impact of my mother's death will hit me.
Consequently, I haven't been sleeping. I am desperately tired, but cannot sleep.
I called my doctor, who told what I am going through is not unusual. She gave me a prescription for sleep meds. Hopefully, if I take a pill at bedtime, soon I'll resume sleeping through the night and wake up refreshed in the morning.
Today is Wednesday. I have four nights, really, to sleep. I'd prefer not to take the meds before I have to be back at work Monday morning.
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Even though you'd rather not take the meds, you really should. Your body needs the sleep.
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