Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Fake it till you make it

To see me today, you'd think I was the happiest woman in the world. I cracked wise and laughed at my officemates' jokes. Even went to lunch with one of them. Was very chatty, mostly about the wonderful old movies being shown on TCM's Summer Under the Stars.* It made the day go by faster.

I am not happy these days. The Cubs have been trading away my favorite players (less than 6 of the guys on the roster on Opening Day remain). I share an office with three (3!) other people. I'm not enjoying the work anymore and don't understand my boss. I'm worried about my best friend. The news (with all this gun violence) is unremittingly depressing. When I get home, all I do is nap.

But I refuse to feel this way forever! While unhappy about the Cub trades, I get it: we're rebuilding. While unhappy about my job, there is nothing I can do about it right now beyond keeping my options open through freelance. (Yes, the market is still that tight.) And my best friend? All I can do is love him.

So all I can do is pretend to be happy, or I guess, put myself in a happier state of mind. One of these days the happy will naturally emanate from my heart and not be forced from my head. I know it will. But for now, this is what I've got.




*I'll have two SUTS blogathon entries! One about the elegant James Mason and the other in praise of our only King, Elvis. Watch for them. They were a delight to do.

3 comments:

  1. Sometimes slapping a smile on your face and giving it a good shot at pretending is all you can do. It helps! Looking for that turn around. For you!

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  2. It's good that you're both acknowledging your feelings and choosing to manage them by focusing on the positive. I hope things brighten up soon!

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  3. Such insight--fake it til you make it!

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