These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age (56). I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live in the burbs and work in the city (Chicago, the best city in the world). I'm an aunt, a friend and a colleague. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Monday, June 18, 2012
This week's challenge: Using between 33 and 333 words, write a response including the third definition of the word:
She tried to follow her mother’s example and simply skate across
the surface of life, where it was safe.
But as much as Tess loved her mother, she was simply too
smart for that. She couldn’t resist delving deeper, where the
reality of the past and present reside. It was painful, but she was compelled to do it,
the same way she probed a cavity with her tongue when she was
waiting to see the dentist.
Now, as her mother’s life was drawing to a close, Tess would
have to redouble her efforts to just skate along. What good would it do now to
discuss (yet again!) the sexual abuse Tess had suffered at the hands of the
revered family patriarch? Or the cruel way Tess’ grandmother had
systematically diminished the little girl’s self esteem? To maintain peace, Tess would
have to outwardly accept her mother’s view that these things couldn’t have
happened, “at least not that way,” or simply weren’t “that bad.”
Tess wanted her mother to leave this realm finally enjoying the
peace she deserved. She didn’t need Tess’ voice ringing in her ears, challenging
her. “Why didn’t you protect me? I was only a little girl!” Tess was tempted to ask (again), “How can you still display their pictures in a place of honor on the mantle?”
But what good would that do? Mommy had lived nearly 80 years
on the surface, skating along where the ice is always smooth and there are no
obstacles in sight.
Every visit with her mother these days left Tess a little
blue. Not because she knew she was going to lose her beloved Mommy, sooner
rather than later. She accepted that as the natural order of things.
What hurt was that she and Mommy had spent their entire relationship on the surface, without ever truly knowing or understanding one
another, and now they never would.