Monday, December 05, 2011

Only as sick as our secrets

When I was at my mom's yesterday, I happened to see the Christmas card she received from my oldest friend. It was a lovely, very conventional affair with a touch of glitter on the front, and the inside was a form letter detailing how well everything is going for her in Beverly Hills.

Huh? What? Her life is a mess and has been since she arrived on the West Coast! She even goes on and on about how good it is to be so close to her cousin, Sharon. Yes, the same cousin who won't lift a freaking finger to help my oldest friend or her two troubled children.

I don't know who all is on my friend's card list, but my dear old mother has known her since she was 5 and could certainly handle, and lovingly welcome, the truth. I'm sure that there are others who received this sugar-coated nonsense who, like my mother, would rather hear an unpleasant truth and try to help than be lulled by her lies.

No, wait. "Lies" is unfair. Everything my oldest friend wrote was completely accurate, and just as untrue.

Denying her situation will not help her improve it. Seeing that Christmas card frustrated and saddened me enormously.


  1. Makes me wonder if your oldest friend actually realizes which is her life.

  2. It feels like the truth would show her vulnerability and she cannot do that now (or even ever) so a facade is all she can manage.

    You know your friend has some big issues and her life is out of control. She knows it, too. The inauthentic letter is really a letter to herself pretending things are better than they are.

    What's that line from the movie "You can't handle the truth?" - she can't handle the truth of her own life. So, a pretty face she'll put on it.

    She's got to find her own way out of the mess she's created. Your loving presence (even from a distance) is a beautiful gift. She'll wake up - eventually.


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