Ripped from today's headlines

So far, the episodes of today's TNT Law & Order marathon are familiar. Maybe because they're all reruns. I mean, why else would I already feel so acquainted with these plotlines?

• A comedian who picked up underage boys, brought them to his playland estate in The Berkshires, and had his way with them ... all the while wooing the parents with money and riches.

• A struggling actress is found dead after a one-night stand with a well-known, eccentric piano player, once considered a genius but now a recluse with a fondness for swords.

• An intern goes missing and is eventually found dead. The New York City assemblyman she worked for denied an affair, yet actually had been intimate with the poor victim and knew more about her disappearance than he told.

Remember, Michael Jackson was a musician and Neverland was in Southern California; Phil Spector was a producer who collected guns, and Gary Condit was a Congressman from California. So any resemblance is purely coincidental.