Thursday, August 27, 2009

So far the score is tied.

Gal 1/Reynaldo 1.

Regular readers know Reynaldo is my skinny beige cat. He is always sweet but often so hyper that I am completely exasperated. Imagine John Grogan's Marley mixed with Lilo's Stitch and you have my Reynaldo.

This morning, for the second pre-dawn in a row, he has raced into my bedroom, trying to get me to play with him. No, I don't know why he doesn't play with one of the other two cats. And anyway, he's Rey, so reasons are immaterial.

First he walks across my body and meows in my ear. An unpleasant way to wake up. I yell at him and pull the covers over my head. He digs at the sheet as if I am a buried treasure. I yell at him. He jumps onto my dresser. Sometimes he flips the light on, sometimes he just knocks things over. He wants me to get up and chase him. I want to sleep until my alarm goes off at 6:15.

Yesterday this went on for more than 40 minutes, until the alarm went off. This morning he began way earlier and really pissed me off. For he decided that the figurine on the TV stand needed to go and knocked it onto the floor. It is, believe it or not, an angel holding a cat -- a gift from a past art director who admired my compassion for homeless animals. Like Rey … until that dark day I brought him home from the shelter.

So I got out of bed and he raced out, sure I was finally playing his game. But no, I simply closed the door and went back to bed. Where my diva cat Charlotte was looking at me like, "Please knock it off. I'm trying to sleep here."

I hadn't done this before because the litter boxes are tucked beside a partition in my big walk-in closet and I didn't want to inconvenience the two cats who are not demonically possessed. To wait 90 minutes to use the facilities seemed unfair, but what the hell. I wanted to go back to sleep and besides, I was busy playing Annie Sullivan to Rey's Helen Keller.

The alarm clock went off, I opened my bedroom door and triumphantly saw the cat I thought I'd vanquished, looking at me expectantly. I stepped over him and went into the bathroom.

Where he had taken a dump on my pretty new pink bathmat.

This isn't over, Reynaldo!


  1. i think he showed you who runs the joint!!!
    it may not be funny to you...but it sure brought a chuckle to my day!!

  2. Hahahahaha! Clever evil kitty. Why don't they ever crap or puke on the hardwood/tiles?

    I think he and our kitty Tedy should hang together. Tedy waits until about a half hour after we go to bed to meow and scratch on our door non-stop (for hours) until we get up and chase him away after which point he returns to his post and starts all over again. I've even tried squirting him with water from underneath the door crack but now he just sits to the side of the frame.

    We play with him all night. Snuggle and spoil. Make sure he has plenty of food. He has access to the box and the ENTIRE FRICKING HOUSE. But no. He just wants to be with us.

    I tried letting him come in but he brought all of his toys with him and dropped them on my head before pouncing on our feet and destroying the comforter. He digs all the dirt out of the potted plants as soon as they have been watered. He cannot be trusted in that room alone.

    Last night I put the squirt bottle in front of our closed door to try to scare him off. He didn't simply knock it down the stairs like Andy thought he would, but he didn't scratch the door either. He did however meow incessantly between 1AM-4AM.

    Tedy is still in kitten stage at just over 1 year. But his sister Lucy was the opposite - her name was Lucy No for the first year and now she is well behaved. Tedy was sweet and good and now he has taken over the naughty reigns. Their version of a Tag Team. Yet still easier than a newborn - you can't lock them in the basement. So I shall stop complaining here before a sleep deprived mom shows up and makes me feel bad.

  3. Don't give Rey my Sophie's phone number or else he will call and tell her she's doing it wrong. She jumps up on the bed, gently touches my face, meows and then jumps off as if to say "Come on, Mama. Like this, see?" and she does this repeatedly until I get up. Most days I'm ok with it because I need to get up anyway but if she ever got it in her head to pull a Reynaldo, oh my! I'd hate that!

    Have you tried giving him some Rescue Remedy in his water? It's homeopathic chill out liquid for pets (and humans, actually). They use it all the time at vets offices to get animals to relax.

    Alternately, how about some catnip to send him off into Stone-ville?


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