Today my oldest friend asked me to help her figure out how the Thursday 13 works. One of her blogspot buddies recommended she investigate it, but the homepage confused her. I responded by rather desperately changing the subject. But the exchange left me feeling pissy, anxious, and sad.
First she asked me if I'd ever read a blog that yes, I've visited. Now this. She's getting closer to discovering this, my blog. My musings. And I don't want her to.
I like keeping this blog separate from my real life. I like having something that's mine exclusively. I don't want to share it with my oldest friend, or anyone else I "really" know.
When I have an issue with her, or my family, or a coworker, and I blog about it, I'm not trying to score points, and I certainly don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to have an outlet for my honest feelings and my real voice.
I use a nom de blog. I have never mentioned the name of my agency, nor of any clients I work with. The photos I've used here haven't even been my real cats! And that's because I want to maintain my anonymity and my privacy.
I don't think I've posted anything here that's so bad our friendship couldn't survive it. And yes, I could just go through and delete any posts that might rattle her. But dammit, that's not the point.
I want this to be my own!
I'm going to have to worry and stew and awfulize on this some more.
Interesting topic, because I've been thinking about writing a "who knows about your blog?" post.
ReplyDeleteOne of my greatest regrets is that when I started up my blog, I gave the address to some select friends and family members. Now, I can't vent as freely and find myself censoring things. And even though I asked them not to, they did pass on the address to others who know me. An AWFUL ex boyfriend who I NEVER wanted to hear from again, for one.
ReplyDeleteBy then, I had online readers and didn't want to move the blog or create a false identity. So, even though I bet it's really hard to tell, I do censor sometimes.
At least none of my ILS know about it!! (i hope - they are ULTRA conservative and they already think i'm a tree-hugging freak.)
Keep it private if you can, gal!!
Thanks, ladies. I was worried as I was writing this that I was being neurotic and petty. Good to know that neither of you seems to think that. Now all I have to do is figure out what to do ...
ReplyDeleteRats. What are you going to do? :-( It is "freeing" to anonymous out here, so I hope can figure out a way to keep her from finding out. Tell her Thirteen is stupid or juvenile, or something.
ReplyDeleteWanted to let you know that we moved our daughter to Chicago this past weekend! Yikes!
Im playing a duck, my pictures are temporary and fleeting. The cats could give it away, but more times then not I am not talking bad about things.
ReplyDeleteIt does stink because i have some blogworthy stuff from my wifes career yet i cant share it.
Hick! Hi! Let me extend a big Chi-town welcome to your not-so-little girl. If she has to leave home sometime, then rest assured she chose the most livable major city in the world to come to.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm going to keep going with this blog as I've been going. If I start pulling punches, the value of these posts to me personally is already compromised. I think it's clear I mean no harm. If she finds me, she finds me. I am taking the precaution, though, of no longer visiting thursdaythirteen.com. No point in being reckless ...
Keep your fingers crossed for me, everyone!
I have one friend and now my parents know about my blog, but I know what you mean. When I was teaching, I didn't want anyone to know about my blog.
ReplyDeleteYou don't give too much away, do you think she'd figure it out if she found you?