Help me out here, girls

I am unhappy. No, let me rephrase: I am discontented. Everything about my life is positively … OK. Fine, I guess. Good enough.

The things that are bothering me are things that I wish didn't. I don't know how to change them and so I wish I could avoid spending another moment thinking about them. I think of women in the public eye that I have read a great deal about, and I wonder what counsel they would give me.

HILLARY CLINTON. I don't like my looks and I have no real sense of style. I remember one day, not that long ago, when I was sitting in my best friend's office, looking out the window at the Lake. We had been talking business and all of a sudden he got this bemused look on his face. "You dress as though you don't own a full-length mirror." I was wearing a green t-shirt, tiny green earrings, green watchband, slender green ring (coordinating shades, not entirely monochromatic), blue jeans and blue/white tennies. I thought that, when you consider my green eyes and red hair, I looked kinda nice with green around my face. I had no idea that people -- people who LIKE me -- were looking at me and saying, "Oh, fashion victim." I am that clueless. Now the friend who made the comment believes (believed, I guess) that I am bright and that smart women like me don't care about our looks. He is wrong. He is so wrong.

So come on, Hill, give me your secret. How do you handle it? How do you just stand there, knowing everyone is evaluating your looks, knowing your pantsuits and hair and makeup are being judged as much as the content of your remarks? Does it hurt when you are found lacking in this basic "female" art? Or do you say to yourself, "Shit, I'm not a geisha; I'm serious and I've got my shit together"?


JACKIE KENNEDY ONASSIS. The thing I admired most about JBKO is her self containment. No one knew what she was thinking. If she was hurting, it didn't show. She remained sphinx-like. I also admire her for, ultimately, doing as she pleased. She had the strength to go her own way and stay true to herself. I don't even know who I am sometimes. I'm nearly 50, my life is more than half over, and I still can't figure out how she did it. How do you rise above the stuff the swirls around you and find/maintain your inner peace, your sense of self? How do you withdraw into yourself, into that secret place, where you were able to appreciate the positive and timeless things in life while disregarding the rest? Pulling into myself used to recharge my battery, but this time it's not working. What would you do, Jacks? (Also, how come you always looked so effortlessly good?)