Thursday Thirteen #405

Pizza. I love pizza. I believe it's replaced the redoubtable cheeseburger as my answer to the "what food could you eat every day" question. I'm spoiled because in Chicagoland, delicious pizza is readily available. Within walking distance from my home I have four choices, and none is a national chain. This is notable because when I used to visit Henry in Key West, I was appalled by what passed for pizza. It was just sad. You might as well just have DiGiorno from the freezer case. 

 

But I digress. Here are 13 tidbits about pizza ...

1. Thin crust is my favorite. Love those luscious little squares in the middle.

2. Bar or tavern style is getting more popular around here. Also cut in squares like thin crust but somehow the toppings go all the way to the edges, no outer crust. It's magic! I'm told this is how they eat thin crust in Boston and New Jersey.

3. Sometimes I crave deep dish. So-called because it's baked in a deep dish, which is is why my late friend Henry used to argue that, "this is not pizza, this is a casserole." The crust is super buttery and the pie is really juicy, with chunks of tomato. The toppings aren't really "toppings" because they are baked in. You cannot eat this without a knife and fork.

4. The New York Style place near me closed. I don't know why it didn't catch on. I don't know how I'd like an entire pie, but I did like grabbing those big, individual slices to go. The crust was fun. All fold-y. Those giant triangles were good re-heated, too. (Come back, New York Style pizza-by-the-slice place! Come back!)

5. I've had wood fire pizza. Not crazy about it. I've been told (at least by Henry) that this is Neapolitans prefer their pizza. OK. Whatever. I don't like the air pockets in the crust.

6. California Pizza Kitchen is popular in the faraway burbs. I like the pizza itself well enough. They certainly offer an eclectic selection of toppings. Mostly I gravitate to the non-pizza items on the menu, though.

7. I am a purist. I prefer plain cheese pizza.

8. Pepperoni was named America's favorite topping. Not for me, too spicy. If I go with a topping, I'll choose #2 on the list: sausage.*

9. Anchovy was listed last. I'm sure this surprises no one.*

10. I'm told there are people who dip their pizza crust in sauce. I have never seen anyone do this, though, and I've never seen dipping sauces on a dine-in pizzeria's menu.

11. Pizza is a weekend food. Most pizzas are ordered to go on Friday and Saturday. I tend to get mine on Saturday.

12. It's a great team meal. In my old life in advertising, pizza was always brought in as a bribe to get us to stay longer at all-agency meetings. At the card shop, pizza was ordered as a reward for the folks who worked late doing inventory.

13. Tip your driver. I prefer to get my pizza to-go and was surprised to learn that more than 80% of us don't tip the pizza delivery person. Well, shame on us.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 *Here's the survey.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? None of This Is True by Lisa Jewell. I'm still in Jolly Old England, this time with a thriller by Lisa Jewell. Two women, strangers, find themselves at a pub on the same night. Josie is there with her husband, celebrating her 45th birthday with an intimate dinner. Alix is there with a big party, also celebrating her 45th birthday. They end up in the ladies' room together and discover that they not only have the exact same birth date and year, they were born in the same hospital! Josie is a housewife and part-time seamstress who lives in a flat near the bus stop, Alix is a podcaster and influencer with a big house. Josie has a dog, Alix has a cat. They couldn't be more different, yet they are "birthday twins." 

What feels like a neat coincidence to Alix is a catalyst for Josie. She pitches herself as a subject of Alix' podcast as a woman who wants to make changes in her life. Dark secrets are revealed. Dark shit begins to happen.

 

Is this about exploring the path not taken? Is it about the toxicity of secrets? I'm not deep enough into yet to say. But this has sucked me in completely.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Agatha Raisin and the Quiche of Death by MC Beaton. I revisited the first of 25 mysteries in the Agatha Raisin series. I recalled the contrasts that charmed me about Aggie and Co.: the bucolic Cotswolds and bustling London; the sweet characters (Mrs. Bloxby and Det. Wong) and our tart heroine, Agatha. I also remembered the bare bones of the mystery, but not whodunnit. I realized anew the mysteries themselves are not what it's important here. It's the atmosphere created and the evolving characters that keep me coming back.

3. What will you read next? Don't know.

 

Sunday Stealing

Stealing from Shannon 

1. What book are you currently reading? I am thisclose to finishing a thriller called None of This Is True. Gulp! Lisa Jewell is good at building tension.

2. Have you ever smoked? Nope. Not pot, not cigarettes. The thought of letting smoke out my nose or mouth just seems so germy and creepy and stinky.

3. Do you own a gun? Fuck to the no. Chicago is awash in guns. We need fewer, not more, around here.

4. What is your favorite candy? Sea salt chocolate.

5. Hot dogs: yay or nay? Big yay.

 6. Favorite movie? The Way We Were.

 

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Chocolate milk. I take vitamins, probiotics and a statin each morning and they all just go down easier with milk. Plus, well, chocolate, so there's that.

8. What do you drink throughout the day? I allow myself two cans of Coke/day. The rest of the time it's water.

9. Do you do push ups? I not only don't, I can't.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I often wear this charm as a pendant. It's a recreation of one of the coins found on the Atocha, a Spanish ship that went down off Key West in the 1600s. The charm is made from scrap silver that remained in the wreck. Amazing to think I'm wearing metal that rested for centuries at the bottom of the sea!

The pendant means a lot to me because it reminds me of my favorite uncle, who loved Key West and collected Atocha coins, and of my dear friend Henry, who lived in Key West and was with me when I bought it.

Read about the Atocha here

11. Current worry? Creeping (or shall I say galloping?) authoritarianism. Just read that the Trump Administration wants to tell Robert Iger how to run Disney. On the campaign trail he promised less regulation of business. I guess that only applies to Trump donors and tech bros. 47% of the nation seems to be OK with this. Worrisome, indeed!

12. Current annoyance? I'm on the condo board and we're looking at many, many repairs and renovations. We discuss them in detail at every meeting and post the minutes on the unit owner portal. No one attends the meetings or reads the minutes. They do, however, love to stop me in hall and laundry room with questions.

13. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I don't think I ever have slept on satin sheets.

15.  Can you whistle? Nope.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Can't We Talk It Over (1950)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, The Andrews Sisters plead for verbal communication.  Is there someone you'd like to engage in a heart-to-heart conversation? I'd like to talk seriously with my nephew about his professional future. He's in his mid-20s and it's time for him to make more money so he can get out on his own, and for him to experience a more conventional work setting (he's only ever worked remotely).The timing for this talk has just never felt right, though. Oh yeah, and it's none of my business. So there's that.

 

2) They want to sit together for this talk. Think about the most recent personal conversation you had. Was it in person, over the phone, or via Zoom? Phone.

 

3) This week's tune was written by Victor Young. He was prolific, earning 22 Oscar nominations in 18 years. (His one win came after his sudden death at age 57.) Think about your friends and family. Who is the most active, productive person you know? Jen, the woman I used to work with at the card shop. She's a dervish. Her home is spotless, she's always picking her kids up from one after school activity or another, she has her crafting hobbies, her book club, and her part-time job. She's involved with her family and her husband's. Just writing this made me tired.

 
4) The lyrics were written by Ned Washington, who is perhaps best remembered for "When You Wish Upon a Star" from Disney's Pinocchio. Do you believe, like Jiminy Cricket, that dreams come true? I'd like to think that.

 

5) This week's song is performed by The Andrews Sisters -- LaVerne, Maxine and Patty. Do you have siblings? If yes, are you the oldest, the middle child, or the baby? I have two sisters and I'm in the middle.

 

6) With more than 80 million records sold, the Andrews Sisters remain one of the most successful female vocal groups of all time. Name another girl group. The Supremes. It's worth mentioning that Miss Ross just celebrated her 81st birthday.

 

 
7) In 1950, the year "Can't We Talk It Over" was released, we were introduced to the Peanuts comic strip. Without looking it up, do you know who created Peanuts? Charles Schultz

 

8) In 1950, most suitcases were hard sided rectangles, with no wheels and a small handle at the top. They came in colors like tan, copper, green and blue. What does your luggage look like? I love my shiny, hard sided Tumi rolling bag. It's sturdy and is easy to spot on the luggage carousel.

 

 
9) Random question: Who was the last person to phone you? Did you pick up, or did it go to voice mail? My former art director called me on my landline and since I wasn't home, it went to voice mail. I called her as soon as I got back. (She's the one I was thinking about in #2.)

 

 

So why aren't I happy?

My Cubs done good last night. The ball was flying off their bats and out of the park. Nico Hoerner is back from off-season surgery and looked just fine.

And yet ... and yet ... I am sad.

For the first time in 12 years, I watched an Opening Day without Anthony Rizzo. He doesn't have a team. The Yankees dropped him and he was unable to sign with anyone else.

Stroller shopping with his dog, Kevin

Some say he has only himself to blame. For a 35-year-old who is prone to injury, he has an awful lot of demands. His wife is pregnant with their first baby, due June 15, so he wants a no-trade clause. That way he can avoid disrupting his wife and new baby any more than necessary. He'd prefer not to play for a West Coast team because his parents live in Florida and he doesn't want to be that far away, but that eliminates at least five teams from his consideration. And then there's the money: He won't sign for less than $1,000,000. It's the principle.

If it was the money, he would have taken the $750,000 he's supposedly been offered. Also, the Yankees just paid him $6,000,000 to settle his contract. He's made approximately $135,000,000 throughout his career. It's never been about the money for him, anyway. As he said nine years ago while negotiating with the Cubs, "I'm 26 and I'm set for life." 

Anthony Rizzo has always insisted on being paid what he feels he's worth, what he believes he has earned in exchange for what he can contribute. He says he's not only doing this for himself, he's doing it for all the players who come after him. Major league baseball is a big business, with fortunes made off the backs of the players, and Rizz wants the workers to get their cut.

So now, instead of guarding the first base corner, he's at home preparing for a new baby. He's running his foundation, which is recognized for all it's done helping families facing pediatric cancer. He can still sign with a team – there's no rule against it – but it doesn't seem likely.

I hope he's happy. But I am sad.

 

Thursday Thirteen #404

 13 popular baby names. I don't know why I find this topic so fascinating, but I do. I recall back in 2020 I heard a census taker say when he saw the name "Barbara" or "Linda," he knew he'd be talking to a Baby Boomer. I went to school with many a Barbara and Linda, but looking at this Baby Center list of the top baby names of 2024, I don't see the names of any former classmates.

 (Girls)

1. Olivia

2. Amelia

3. Emma

4. Sophia

5. Charlotte

6. Isabella

(Boys)

7. Noah

8. Liam

9. Oliver

10. Elijah

11. Mateo

12. Lucas

 13. Levi

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Agatha Raisin and the Quiche of Death by MC Beaton. This is the first in Agatha Raisin series. It introduces us to a successful London PR exec who retires to a sleepy village, and finds herself bored. She simply doesn't know how to behave in a bucolic setting. She decides to remedy this by entering the local baking competition. Now Agatha will not be second best, and to make sure she wins first prize, she enters a professionally-baked, store-bought quiche. She's disgusted when she still doesn't win, presumably because the contest was rigged. Things get even more complicated when the judge dies and an amateur sleuth is born ... out of a mix of pique and boredom. 

This is a reread for me. I'm giving this book to my aunt for Mother's Day, and I wanted to be able to discuss it with her. I think my aunt will get a kick out of a cozy mystery with a heroine, Agatha, who is anything but cozy. She's prickly, grumpy, and entitled. She's also smart and funny. I'm sure my aunt will like this series. I know I do.

2. What did you recently finish reading? So, Anyway by John Cleese. I came away from this book surprised by how unambitious Cleese was. He was going to be a school teacher ... or maybe a lawyer ... or a banker ... or a stage actor ... He enjoyed writing more than performing and is, of course, terribly funny and his career just kinda sorta unfolded. He's refreshingly candid about being a late bloomer romantically and about his issues with his complicated mother. This book is sweet and refreshingly free of malice. I enjoyed the book a lot, smiled often, and was sorry when it ended.

3. What will you read next? Something 'Murican. Both John Cleese and Agatha Raisin are Brits and I think it's time for me to return stateside.

Sunday Stealing

Prompts and More Prompts

1) How do you show others love? What makes you feel loved? Like the song says, "I'll be there for you when the rain starts to pour." I'm available to those I love. I put the time in. I feel loved when someone trusts me and shares what's important and dear to them.

2) Who is someone you admire? Why? I have always admired JBKO. She lived her life on her own terms, despite unsparing public scrutiny and judgement. She faced everything life threw at her with matchless grace. As Margaret Mitchell described another heroine/horsewoman Scarlett O'Hara, she "took her fences cleanly, like a good hunter." Jackie confronted hardship and then did her best to move on.

3) Do you have the qualities you value in a friend? I like to think so. I work at it.

4) What is something you enjoyed doing when you were younger but don't do anymore? Why did you stop doing it? I used to dance a lot. Alone, at home, I'd turn up the music and spin around to get my heart rate up. I don't know why I stopped, but I don't it anymore.

5) What is something other people think is fun but you don't? Sci-fi and fantasy. The Turner Classic Movie Film Festival is in a few weeks and they just announced the opening night, red carpet film: The Empire Strikes Back. It's a big deal, and there's an extra fee to have director George Lucas himself introduce the film. I'm happy for all the fans who are happy. I'm also happy to save the money, because I quite literally have no interest in it.

It crops up when I least expect it

I just got my spring pedi. Same color as fall – Essie 321 "Mrs. Always Right" – and I was so happy with the way my nails are shaped. Plus this everyday extravagance fit so neatly into my budget. I hadn't spent my lunch money during the week and was able to use that to pay cash at the salon. Yay, me!

So why aren't I happier?

The nail tech complimented my feet, telling me the bottom of my feet are "as soft as a baby." She asked me if I did anything "special" to keep them so nice.

This got me talking about my late friend John. Back in spring 2016, he was diagnosed with severe, long-term, untreated diabetes which resulted in the amputation of one of his toes. Of course there had been signs – tingling and discoloration – that he ignored. Because he was John and he was in denial. John didn't do bad news. Well, I told the nail tech, I learned from what happened to John. I'm a fat old lady who eats too much sugar. I have to be on the lookout for diabetes so every morning I scrub my feet with an apricot scrub. It leaves them soft, yes, but it also gives me a chance to give them a daily once-over so I don't end up like John. 

The poor nail tech. She asked a simple question about my beauty regimen and she got an earful about how that amputation changed John's life forever, causing him to walk with a cane and leaving my running buddy feeling vulnerable until the end of his days.

That's the thing: John and Henry pop into my thoughts daily. It'll be a year next month that John died. June will mark one year since I lost Henry. They were more my family than most of my blood relatives. 

The loss is always with me. I go through my days thinking I'm OK and then, when I'm getting a pedi, it washes over me, hurts my heart and undoubtedly makes an unsuspecting nail tech uncomfortable.

I don't think I'll ever be over it. I'll be better, of course, but it's always going to hurt. I keep thinking of something Joe Biden used to say, "There will come a day, I promise you, when the memory of your loved one will bring a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye." I trust you, Mr. President, but I'm still waiting.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Photograph (1973)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here

1) In this song, Ringo stumbles upon a photograph that reminds him of a lost love. Are there any photos displayed in the room you're in right now? Nope.

2) While there are approximately 180 published songs credited to Lennon-McCartney, this is the only song written by Harrison-Starr. When you think of Ringo's old band, the Beatles, what's the first song that comes to mind? "Hey, Jude."

3) George and Ringo wrote this song while on a yacht in the South of France. They, and their wives, had just attended Mick Jagger's wedding to Bianca in Saint Tropez and decided to take a little holiday together. What are your vacation plans for 2025? Within weeks I shall be off to Hollywood. I can't wait!

 

Read all about it here

4) At 5'8, Ringo was the shortest Beatle and the only one with blue eyes. How tall are you? What's your eye color? 5'1, green eyes.

5) Ringo gave his first wife, Maureen, a one-of-a-kind birthday gift. Frank Sinatra recorded "The Lady Is a Tramp" with special lyrics, written just for her. Do you have anything that's personalized? (It could be a monogram on a scarf, it doesn't have to be as cool as a gift from Frank Sinatra.) Just a drawer full of notepads and return address labels from charities.

6) Ringo appeared as Mr. Conductor on Thomas the Tank Engine. He recorded the narration for the entire first season in just a week. Tell us what you did last week. I reset the sale table at the card shop (which I enjoyed because I feel I'm adding value) and got a MMR vaccine (which I didn't enjoy). Remember when we believed measles was eradicated? 

7) As a boy in Liverpool, Ringo loved watching American westerns. Do you like cowboy movies/shows? I like TV westerns better than movie westerns.

 

8) In 1973, when this song was a hit, former President Lyndon Johnson died. Who was President when you were a kid? LBJ in grade school, Nixon in junior high and Nixon and Ford in high school.

 
9) Random question: When you woke up this morning, did you know the day and date (before looking at your phone)? The day? Yes. The date? No.

 

I've been on both sides of the desk

As a boss, I have let people go. I did not do it lightly. In fact, it wounded me. I remember the details of each lay off very well.

•  Dick. 1998. He was an old-school Madison Avenue kinda ad guy and used to disappear and go "for walks" (or to Starbucks or a bar) to help him come up with ideas. "Sorbet for the brain," he called it. That meant he wasn't around when spontaneous meetings were called. Also, it meant he was billing time when I couldn't vouch for the fact he'd been working, which is dicey. Dick had been on probation for three months and simply refused to comply with what I'd asked of him. He was only 48 at the time, but he had a stubborn dinosaur's mindset and I was worried his attitude would make it hard for him to get a good paying job anywhere else. He gave me no choice but to fire him.

•  Tony. 2001. He was a very young art director. When upper management told me I had to let one of my team for financial reasons, he was the obvious choice. His work, while good, needed a lot of revision from me and retouching from the studio. Not unexpected from someone as junior as he was, as he was still learning. But his work took more of my time to supervise and attention from the studio, and with a leaner staff I simply couldn't afford that. I felt terrible because he was engaged and I knew losing his job would be extra difficult for a young man planning a wedding. This was a lay-off, not a firing, and I made sure he got severance and references.

•  Natalie. 2002. She's the art director I chose to keep over Tony just months before, so when management came to me and told me I had to cut even more staff, I was heartsick. It wasn't fair. She had really stepped up, doing a job-and-a-half for a single job's pay. She told me I felt worse about the lay-off than she did, as she was a transplant from Indiana and was thinking about moving back home anyway. She ran down to the gift store in our office building and gave me this figurine on her way out the door. Yes, she bought me a present on the day I canned her. It's called "The Angel of Kindness" and it still sits in my bedroom. 

•  Lisa. 2002. This one hurt the most. Lisa had just had Lasik surgery and it didn't go well. The surgeon screwed up and she would need a second procedure. It was between surgery #1 and surgery #2 that I was told I had to let her go, too! I protested this one madly, but (and I'll never forget this) an agency vice president told me letting Lisa go was part of my job, one of my responsibilities and (direct quote), "why you get the big bucks." Like Natalie, Lisa was less upset than I'd anticipated. She was so concerned and stressed over her vision that she actually welcomed the time off -- with severance and COBRA, of course -- while she went through her medical travails. Inspired by Natalie, she sent me flowers to thank me for fighting for her. I was enormously touched.

The next time I was told I had to lay off someone from my now skeleton staff, I let myself go. I was that bruised. I freelanced for two years before I returned to the agency world and when I finally did, I took a cut in pay in exchange for the promise that I would never, ever have to fire anyone ever again.

All of this brings me to DOGE. I understand that government is overstaffed. I appreciate that cuts need to be made. What appalls me is the delight Elon Musk and Donald Trump are taking in this. Everyone who gets let go is a human being. With housing costs and utility bills. And if these firings are really being done because of fraud, where are the indictments? This is Trump's DOJ. If there was even a whiff of lawlessness, they have the ability to act on it. Why aren't they?

Because with Trump, Musk and MAGA, the cruelty is the point. Taking a chainsaw to people's lives gets cheers and thumbs up. It's about a lust for power and a joy in exercising it, not about justice or "government efficiency."

 So many of the voters applauding this bullying behavior claim to be Bible thumping Christians. As the kids say, SMH.

 

Thursday Thirteen #403

There's a national Pet Poison Prevention Week and this is it. I spend a lot of time at the vet, and I grabbed a handout from the ASPCA so I could share its contents. You likely have common household products close at hand that could be hazardous if eaten or inhaled by your dog or cat. 

This list is by no means exhaustive.* It's just my little red flag of warning to you fur parents.

1. Prescription meds

2. Vitamins

3. Lighter fluid

4. Tobacco

5. Detergent (dogs find pods quite attractive)

6. Fabric softener

7. Bleach

8. Drain cleaner

9. Oven cleaner spray

10. Paint thinner

11. Motor oil

12.Gasoline

13. Anti-freeze (dogs and cats like the smell, so be careful!)

*Here's what the ASPCA has to say on the subject.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Sunday Stealing

Cry Baby

1) Think about the last person you forgave. How long did it take you to forgive them? I forgave Carla for cancelling and rescheduling our lunch date twice. I admit I was pissed but I got over myself pretty quick. She recently lost her job and is feeling overwhelmed by life. When we finally got together on Friday, I gave her a little purse calendar to help her restore a touch of order to her life. She loved it!

 

2) Steph's favorite fast food is Taco Bell. What's yours? Lou's thin crust.

 

 

3) Who was the last friend you hung out with? What did you do? I've been (la-de-dah) quite social this week, going to lunch with my friends Nancy, Carla and on Saturday, my friend Elaine.

 

4) Did you do anything this past week that will still seem important a year from now? Maybe. I gave Carla a job lead. Here's hoping it turns into something.

5) Will this coming week be better than last week? How so? Maybe not better but certainly different. I'm only working one shift, which leaves me a lot of time to relax and concentrate on stuff around my home.

 

 

 

There are two kinds of people in this world

 ... Those who notice that I eat my food one portion at a time, and those who don't. I braved the St. Patty's Day Parade crowds to meet my friend Elaine for a birthday lunch at the restaurant of her choosing. She ordered a chicken dish and, since she knew the place well, I followed suit and also ordered chicken, though mine was buttermilk fried and came with a huge side of cole slaw.

Really, it was fine

We were having a lively conversation about her new, full-time job and then about the movie Anora, which we both liked though she more than I. I was merrily enjoying both my fried chicken and the chatter when all of a sudden she asked, "Is there something wrong with the cole slaw?"

To be honest, I didn't know because I had not yet touched it. 

"I'm eating the chicken first because I want to enjoy it while it's hot," I lied. She nodded and we went back to our conversation.

I always eat my food one portion at a time. The temperature of the dish has no bearing on this. It's simply my preference.

 This is, at least, the third time Elaine has mentioned this to me over the last four years or so. It must bother her on some level or she wouldn't ask me about it with a certain degree of regularity.

I do not know why she notices or why she cares. Yet she does. I could not tell you who among my acquaintances also eats their portions one at a time because I pay no attention.

But my icky grandmother did. It used to make her crazy at family dinners. "Gal! Are you ever going to eat your vegetables?" she would ask accusingly. If it was corn or peas or potatoes, of course I was because I liked those very much. I was just enjoying my turkey or ham first. And, since I was taught not to snap at my elders, I refrained from saying, "What's it to you, you old bat?"

She used to do the same thing to my uncle. 

There was always embarrassed silence around the table when she did this. It's part of what made family dinners such a joy!

I was not doing it to annoy my icky grandmother. I'd genuinely not given it any thought whatsoever. It was and remains quite natural for me to eat my main portion first and then get to the side (cole slaw, fries, fruit, whatever) when I am done. 

Elaine does not seem as judgey as my icky grandmother. Of course, St. Peter isn't as judgey as my icky grandmother. But my friend does notice. (It reminds me of my cousin Rosemary's constant carping about the size of my purse. "What on earth do you have in there?" "Why do you carry such a big bag?" I admit I notice purses more than dining habits but that's in case I want to buy someone a bag or wallet as a gift, not because I care what they prefer.)

I admit it: I will judge your politics, the way you treat panhandlers, your pet parenting, and your grammar. But I truly do not give a fuck how you eat your food. So this phenomenon continues to baffle me.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Southside Irish (1984)

Not familiar with this week's song? Hear it here.

 

1. This week's song was chosen because it's something of an anthem in Chicagoland around St. Patrick's Day. Can you name another song that makes you think of St. Patrick's Day or Ireland? "Danny Boy."

 

2. The Irish Choir sings that the "craic" is always best among the Windy City Irish. "Craic" is Irish for "fun" and "high spirits." Are you planning anything fun this weekend? I'm meeting my friend Elaine downtown for lunch Saturday. It happens to be the day of the Chicago St. Patrick's parade. Here's hoping that I get through the afternoon without any drunk teenagers puking green beer onto my shoes. (Really. You have nooooo idea what a party Saturday is gonna be.)

3. They tell us that their fathers came over from Mayo, Cork and Donegal. Where did your ancestors hail from? I know my favorite grandpa was born in Berne, Germany. It's a small town on a river. His parents sent him away to boarding school so he didn't spend much time in the family home. He dropped out of school and ran away and didn't stop until first Ellis Island and then Chicago.

4. The lyrics mention the rivalry between Chicago's two baseball teams. As Spring Training 2025 draws to a close, how do you feel about your baseball team's chances this season? I'm excited about the Cubs pitching staff, especially Shota Imanaga. Our defense looks very good, too. I mean, Dansby Swanson and Nico Hoerner! So we've got the glove side of things taken care of. Let's hope Kyle Tucker performs as promised and hits some dingers.

 

5. The Chicago River is dyed green in celebration of St. Patrick's Day. Does your community do anything to special for the holiday? As referenced in #2, though an unfortunate fluke in scheduling, I am unwisely going to be in Chicago's Loop Saturday afternoon. Yes, the River will be dyed green and that will be cool.

 

 

But the green river means the parade. To borrow from The Beatles, "it's been a long, cold lonely winter." The parade gives everybody a reason to finally emerge from their homes and release pent-up energy. There will be day drinking. Inhibitions will be shed. Teens and twenty- and thirtysomethings wearing shamrock headbands and cardboard shamrock glasses will move up and down the sidewalks like a friendly but intoxicated wave in search of green beer. I wish Elaine and I were meeting Sunday instead! PS Or maybe I'll adjust my attitude and surprise myself by getting in the spirit. We'll see.

 

6. While this week's song focuses on the Irish population of Chicago, it's not the U.S. city with the highest percentage of citizens of Irish ancestry. According to the 2020 census, Boston is #1. Have you ever been to Boston? Oh yes. I adore Boston. It's like a small Chicago, lots of neighborhoods, very walkable. And I love the old buildings. Except for the Water Tower, nothing here predates The Fire. Boston is filled with history.

7. On Monday, which is St. Patrick's Day, do you plan to wear green? Sure.

8. Clovers are a recognized symbol of St. Patrick's Day, and a four-leaf clover is believed to bring good luck. Have you ever seen a four-leaf clover? Nope.

9. Black coffee with whiskey and whipped cream is Irish Coffee. What's your standard coffee order? I never order coffee. 

 

 

Bless her turbulent soul

It's Friday evening as I write this. My oldest friend reached out to me Monday. We talked for close to two hours. I'm still processing it.

Monday night she was in tears. She attributed this to the death of her cat, Jack. Totally understandable. She loved him, she had him a long time and he died in her bed. He'd been sick for quite some time – her daughter had time to come up for a visit to say goodbye – so it surprised me that when he began failing she didn't put him down. "Vets out here (in SoCal) charge $1,000 just for a needle prick," she explained.

First of all, I don't believe that. Even $500 sounds high for euthanasia. $1,000 is impossible. But you know what? Even if it was $1,000, she should have gotten it somehow. That's the deal we make when we adopt our furbabies: we give them the best life we possibly can and then ease them out of their suffering when the time comes. My friend was unable to do that. Rather than take her cat to the vet last summer, when he began having gastrointestinal issues, she started dousing him with Kaopectate. She knows how I feel about this. It would have been unkind to bring it up when she was in tears. But I'd be dishonest if I didn't say it occurred to me. Now that little Jack is dead and the suffering he likely endured at the end is over, what makes me saddest is that somewhere inside her, my oldest friend may know I'm right. It must be miserable to live with that.

Then she segued to her "nervous breakdown." She told me that had begun hallucinating and losing her balance. I have no doubt that's true. It's the timeline that infuriates me. I've known since last summer that she sees/responds to things that aren't there and then doesn't acknowledge it ever happened. Last Christmas she told me she spent several days at her daughter's apartment because she was so unsteady on her feet she couldn't go home. She promised then that she was "going to" discuss all this with her primary care physician. I asked her this past Monday what happened when, back then, she spoke to her doctor about the hallucinations and the falling down. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I didn't."

What the ever-loving fuck?

Anyway, she told me that, a couple weeks ago, her hallucinations were so bad that her roommates* were concerned and she was taken to the hospital. It was decided that she was over-medicated and reacting to the three antidepressants she's been taking. The ER docs conferred with her psychiatrist and took her off one of the meds. She tells me it has a long half life in her system and so she doesn't know if she's miserable because her Jack died or from withdrawal from the drug. Um ... I don't know how much of what I just wrote is accurate. It doesn't really matter, does it? There's nothing I can do about it from this distance.

Which leads us to her son. Her oldest child, her favorite, is well over 30. He's married and lives outside Philly. She told me in January that she thought it was "funny" he was worried about her meeting a Chinese-American for lunch. You think it's funny your son is a bigot? OK. Anyway, Monday she made no mention of Fred, the man she said she'd begun dating, and tearfully told me she hasn't heard from her son since Christmas. She was so hurt that, when his sister called to tell him their mother was in the ER, he said, "5150 her" and hasn't called since. So which is it? Is he an overprotective son who worries about his mother's dating life? Or is he callous and uninvolved? Did Fred even exist? I have no idea.

She's been posting pictures of Jack on Facebook. Taken just before he died. The poor little thing was emaciated. That's just wrong. Nothing I can do about it.

Nothing I can do about any of this.

She is, by her own choice, 2000 miles away. She doesn't listen to a thing I say anyway. I have suggested she go to church and reconnect with God. That she do some kind of charity work to ground her and get her out of her own head (I even offered to send her stamps and stationery so she could write Letters Against Isolation). I've told her how important my movie group is to me and tried to get her to join one. I might as well be talking to my stapler.

And yet I know she is suffering. I don't know how much of what she tells me is true but I believe she is miserable and unable somehow to do anything to alleviate her own pain.

Her soul is turbulent. Her body is rebelling. Her sweet skinny Jack died.

All I can do is pray for her.

 

*She shares a ranch house with 3 other seniors. They each have their own bedroom and share kitchen/bathroom privileges. It's kinda like The Golden Girls.

 

Photo by Maria Lupan on Unsplash

 

Thursday Thirteen #402

Donald Trump plays the Google Game. I went to Google, then Yahoo!, and asked "Why Does Donald Trump ..." Here are the autofilled responses, which can help us understand what our fellow citizens are thinking.

Why does Donald Trump ...

1. want Greenland?

2. not drink?

3. want the Panama Canal?

4. like the song YMCA?

5. look different?

6. fire people?

7. want to be President?

8. look orange?

9. hate Taylor Swift?

10. wear diapers?

11. lie so much?

11. stand weird?

13. have a big ego?

How would you complete the phrase, "Why does Donald Trump ...?"

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.