I Want Wednesday

I want to win tonight's Illinois State Lottery. It's up to $5.2 million. After taxes, that's $2,500/week for 20 years. I'd be very happy with that.

No, change "happy" to "content and secure." For as my best friend has said, money problems are seldom about money. And when I worry about money, it's not the cash that scares me. It's the feelings of vulnerability that worrying about money inspires. I'm confident I'll always eat. But it's feeling like no one has my back, that I'm fighting this battle all alone that I hate.

Which winning the lottery would settle once and for all. So keep your fingers crossed for me!

Queen's Meme -- Falling

1. What is your favorite part about the Fall season? How suddenly comfortable the weather is. I'm happy to be outdoors, instead of avoiding it, like I do during the summer heat and humdity.

2. When was the last time you fell in love? We were riding along the River in a cab, very late. And I saw his profile by streetlight and spotted a heretofore unnoticed, tiny scar by his eye and asked him how he got it. He literally fell off the back of the truck at his grandpa's farm when he was a little boy. I thought about how big that scar would have been on his tinier face, and how close he may have come to losing that blue-gray eye, and I was overwhelmed with a desire to kiss the boo-boo. Ooky girly emotions like that only mean one thing: LOOOOVE.

3. Have you ever injured yourself falling down? Last March, on my way home to visit my mother and give her a framed photo of my niece, I took a tumble and landed in the street. The frame shattered but I wasn't cut. I was so relieved that I initially didn't notice how scraped and bloody my legs were. The next day I looked like a first grader, with bandages up and down my legs and shins.

4. Imagine that your head is on the guillotine block and the blade is about to fall on your head. What is your last thought? "They say I won't feel a thing."

5. Do pumpkins scare you? Nope.

6. You are free-falling from the sky to Earth. It has taken you 3 days to fall from the galaxy and you are hungry. Where do you land? Five Guys Burgers and Fries.


7. I found this painting by John Everett Millais: Autumn Leaves (1856). It struck me totally funny. Look at their faces. What are they saying? What is going on??! It's the March girls -- from left, Meg, Jo, Beth and little Amy. They're doing chores for their Aunt March. This was before rakes, so they had to collect the leaves in a basket.

To play along yourself, thereby avoiding the dungeon, click here

Movie Monday -- The Supernatural

Share your favorite movies with those witchy, surreal, psychic or alien happenings, linking back here at The Bumbles.

Sliding up the banisters ... carousel horse races ... jumping in and out of chalk drawings ... tea parties on the ceiling ... From the moment she descended upon the Banks' home, somehow clutching the advertisement that the children wrote and their father disposed of in the fireplace, special things began to happen. She, of course, is Mary Poppins, my first favorite movie heroine. I still think she's practically perfect in every way.

Passage to adventure

Today my nephew and I celebrated his 11th birthday. In addition to a Harry Potter t-shirt and backpack, I got him a pair of passes to Safari Land, an indoor amusement not too far from his home. I included a gas card and a Visa giftcard so it won't cost his dad (or his mom or sister, whomever he convinces to take him) anything to spend the day with him. I can't wait to hear how their safari goes.

Our celebration itself was a little anti-climactic. Poor little guy was completely beat. He had such a big Saturday -- beginning with a soccer game, then a birthday lunch with his parents and my mom, and a sleepover with friends which found them singing and playing Beatle songs on WII Rock Band until after 3:00 -- that he actually snoozed for a while this afternoon after the sugar buzz from his cake wore off.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Time Traveler Meme

The Rules:

1. Depending on your age, go back 10, 15, 20, or even more years.
2. Tell us how many years back you have traveled and why.
3. Pretend you have met yourself during that era, and tell us where you are.
4. You only have one "date" with this former self.
5. Answer these questions.

Okay, as we start, what year is it and how old are you? 1980, and I'm 22

1. Would your younger self (YYS, from here) recognize you when you first meet? Barely. I'm much heavier than I was then, but not that much fatter than I was in high school.

2. Would YYS be surprised to discover what you are doing job wise? I don't think so. I was fearless, if not ambitious, in those days.

3. What piece of fashion advice would you give YYS? Sure, those spike heels look good, but they really are hell on your feet. They're not worth it, Young Gal.

4. What do you think YYS is most going to want to know? About my love life. All I really had on the mind those days was men.

5. How would you answer YYS's question? It's amazing how many frogs you're going to kiss.

6. What would probably be the best thing to tell YYS? As I recall, no one could tell me anything in those days.

7. What is something that you probably wouldn't tell YYS? That Kristin shot JR.

8. What do you think will most surprise YYS about you? How much I now love my alone time. Back then, a Saturday night at home would be cause for mourning, not celebration.

9. What do you think will least surprise YYS? How far I've come professionally. On the one hand, I didn't work very hard in those days. On the other hand, I had no idea how much hard work it would take.

10. At this point in your life, would YYS like to run into "you" from the future? No. I think that Gal would find this Gal unutterably and depressingly straight and boring.

A lazy day that took me from Boston to Mayberry

My tummy is still giving me a bit of grief, so I took things very easily today. Slept in, ran errands, went to lunch, saw The Town -- set in Boston, with lots of great shots of the city, and Jon Hamm with perpetual 5:00 shadow -- and watched The Andy Griffith 50th Anniversary Marathon on one of our local stations. Wonder how Andy and Barney would have done in Charleston ...

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Friends, Again

1. Do you make and keep friends easily? Yes. I'm really blessed that way.

2. Who was your very first friend? The woman I refer to on this blog as, creatively enough, "my oldest friend." We met in Kindergarten (Mrs. Erler's afternoon class) and later that school year her family moved into the apartment building across the alley from our house.

3. Who has been your friend the longest now? See above. I remember our serious bonding taking place over The Beatles after their life-altering appearance on Ed Sullivan when we were in the first grade. I, naturally, chose Paul as my fave rave, since my love-at-first-sight that Sunday night was like a force of nature. She went with George. We're friends to this day and yesterday I put in my time-off request at work so I can spend her 54th birthday with her in California this December.

4. Tell us about your best friend. He is a good person, who tries every day to be a better one. He puts the well-being of his family first at all times. And he gets me. He actually admires me! So being around him is as comfortable as being wrapped in a quilt.

5. Tell us about the friend who gets on your nerves the most, and why. It's gotta be Kathy. There's much about her I appreciate, but she can make me nuts. For example, she's always tweaking me for being too conventional in my approach to life. Particularly religion. While I'm a practicing Unitarian Universalist, I still believe Christ is my personal savior. How bourgeois of me! I should consider the Tao and Indian mysticism! And, even as UUs go, why did I have to choose such a provincial congregation? They talk about GOD all the time! She's clearly more creative a soul than I, for she's not spiritually satisfied within my church. Now let me be clear: I don't care what you or anyone else believes because I know that Jesus is there for me, the same way I know the sun sets in the west. I'm not evangelical in any sense of the word, it's Kathy who kept visiting and revisiting the issue. And then guess what -- SHE JOINED MY CHURCH! First time I saw her sitting a few pews in front me, she just kinda shrugged and giggled and dismissed it as one of those "Kathy things" she does. I didn't strangle her then and there because I have too much respect for houses of worship and besides, I know I would have been prosecuted.

6. Tell us about the last time you let a friend down. I can be too hard on the aforementioned oldest friend. But it's hard to watch her indulge her almost irresistible attraction toward self-sabotage.

7. Tell us about the last wonderful thing a friend did for you! An ex invited me to his youngest son's high school graduation. We broke up in 1981, and yet he still thought enough of me to include me in this big event in his life. I was very, very touched.

8. What was the last 'friend' thing you did? Last weekend, my oldest friend and I went though a big box of old teeny-bopper fan magazines, junior highschool vintage, and laughed sooo hard at what turned us on back in our long-ago virginal days.

9. Have your ever been jealous of a friend's S/O? My oldest friend was recently involved with a guy who had the nicest, firmest arms. Especially noteworthy for a man over 50. I called him Billy Big Arms and asked if, now that they have broken up, I can do him. She just laughs because she knows I'm kidding. I am kidding, right?

John Mahoney sighting

Had to go to the damn washeteria to do my laundry again last night. (Hopefully by next weekend the washers and dryers in my building will be repaired for good!) Anyway, the journey took me up the street where I used to live and I saw my former neighbor, John Mahoney, aka Frasier's dad. He was helping an elderly friend out of a car and into his wheel chair.

They both just said "hi," and I said "hi," back, more worried about the more senior citizen feeling on display with his disabilities than I was of embarrassing Mr. Mahoney.

The last time I saw him was maybe 7 or 10 Christmases ago, when I was behind him in line at Coconuts as he wrapped up his holiday shopping.

I like that he hasn't gone Hollywood, and still lives in his same apartment.

I don't feel good

And I extend my sincere sympathies to whoever followed me in the ladies room.

If I don't start feeling better soon, I think I will gingerly travel back home.

92% says it's DONE!

Kathleen gave me a ride home yesterday and reported that her test results could not have come back better: there's only an 8% chance of her breast cancer recurring!

The next step is radiation. Five days/week for six weeks, starting next month. The hospital is right up the street from both her office and mine, so I can visit her after the treatments if she'd like. While radiation seems like a day at the beach compared to chemo, it is still draining and if she wants someone to lift her spirits, well, I'm always happy to babble away merrily.

I Want Wednesday

Right now, I just want everyone to be happy. Or maybe happier. Or perhaps just OK.

I don't think my oldest friend has any real idea what's going on with her daughter, a new freshman whose world view is disturbing and whose sense of self is rather flexible. I suspect this girl would benefit from a mom and dad who co-parent, despite their divorced status, but I'm quite sure that's not going to happen. I've learned that the opinion of barren spinsters is not always welcome at times like this, and I know my friend believes it's my sworn duty to dislike her ex. And I do! I could give chapter and verse as to why he's a douche! But I also believe he loves his daughter and that, despite all their clashes, she loves him and this situation worries me.

Kathleen still hasn't updated me on the next steps of her cancer treatment. Why not? What's up? If it turns out she does indeed need chemo, I have a recommendation for a terrific wig salon. I want to help, but I don't want to hover. (I can be an annoying hoverer, you know.)

My uncle's birthday was Saturday. I sent him a giftcard, but he never acknowledged it. That's OK, really. It's depressing that this former millionaire is now a ward of the state who needs the $25 I sent. Besides, he took my cousin, his only child, to court over a petty and completely baseless claim. If this is where his disease has taken him, I guess it's just as well I don't hear from him. "Old age is a shipwreck." That's what President Kennedy said after spending a day with his father, who had suffered a debilitating stroke. Ain't that just the truth.

My shrink is sad, too. (See below) And I can't do anything about it. Nor, I suppose, would it be appropriate for me to, since one of her recurring mantras is that I'm not expected to "fix" everything and everyone, nor am I even able to. Still, I think it sucks for her.

Yet somehow I'm in a good mood today. Really. I just wish I could bottle happiness like cologne and spray it on everyone I love.

"Sad is part of life"

So my shrink told me this evening. We weren't talking about me, we were discussing her. But only in the most superficial terms, because she doesn't like us spending my time talking about her. I know her husband has had a rough summer, health wise, which has caused her to cancel some of our sessions. I asked her if she had good news to report and she answered guardedly that she has "hopeful" news.

I feel vulnerable. I know that I'm not her most critical patient, only seeing her once a month. But it's such a comfort to know she's there if I need her.

I also feel badly for her. I've been seeing her since the 1980s. I have been able to tell, by the photos on her desk and the artwork in her waiting room, that her children have grown up and had children themselves. I know she and her husband have been together 40 years.

I know "sad is a part of life." I know that people get old and sick. I may have to accept it, but I don't have to like it.

10 on Tuesday

Here's what's on This Old Gal's mind this sunny Tuesday.

1) I'm worried about my philodendron. I inherited it from an abruptly-dismissed coworker around Christmastime, 2004. At that point, his roots were bursting through the cheap white pot he was stuck in. I transplanted him into a roomier terra cotta, made sure all sides got light, and he's been flourishing. Except his roots were starting to appear on the surface of the pot, so after almost 6 years, I repotted him again. This time into a big ass, 10" pot. I hope he's OK, that the shock of the move didn't damage him. It's startling how attached to him I have become.

2) And his baby brothers ... the little shoots I am watching take root in the vase right beside him.

3) Bob Brenly. The Cubs TV announcer doesn't want to manage the Cubs. He officially took himself out of the running. Fine by me, I enjoy him in the broadcast booth. But it looks like there are still 3 candidates -- former Cub and current Yankee manager Joe Girardi, Cubs interim manager Mike Quade (who has been doing a fine job), and Cubs great Ryne Sandberg. Ryno was my grandma's favorite player of all-time, so I know she's in Heaven, intervening with God on his behalf.

4) Ed. Had lunch with my friend and former boss today. He was upbeat and in good spirits ... and kept surreptitiously looking down my t-shirt. Good God, we've known each other since the late 1980s! In all this time I never noticed him checking out my bod before.

5) Egg burgers. I had my first one for lunch today -- an egg sunny-side up served on an open-faced burger. It was yummy. I'm now a convert.

6) "Someone told me it's all happening at the zoo." I absolutely hate it when strangers walk by my office and peer in at me. It's an office. I'm banging away at my keyboard. What else would I be doing? The least they can do is toss me marshmallows as they stare, like visitors do when they gawk at the polar bears.

7) Space and time ... and the Beatles. In just a few weeks, on October 9, John Lennon would turn 70. A 70-year-old long-haired lad from Liverpool! Imagine that! I wonder what he'd be like now.

8) The new mom two doors down. I hope my coworker has her baby, a boy, on October 9. There's profound karma attached to that day. Not to mention "Instant Karma."

9) My pedi. I don't care what the calendar says, I'm wearing sandals until it starts to look funky.

10) My uncle. His birthday was Saturday. I sent him a card and he didn't acknowledge it. He's also been rather malicious toward my cousin, his only daughter. I think I just have to get used to the fact that he's fading and will never get better, will never be the same. Shit, I hate this.

Gordon Gekko, Superstar

This is the second terrific performance I've seen by Michael Douglas in two months (the first being Solitary Man). One of the things I've found interesting about his work lately is that he's exploring the lives of men over 60. Given his current health problems, it's especially poignant to watch his characters face their own mortality. And, in the case of Gordon Gekko, you want to scream every time he lights a cigar. In the movie, it's a sign of privilege, in real-life, it's simply dangerous and stupid. Also, he has a monologue about Gekko's son, Rudy, and drug addiction. Again, the way art imitates life is chilling. I'm also reminded that Michael Douglas is great at delivering monologues. It could be what he does best. Whether it's "Greed is good," from the original Wall Street, or "I am the President" from The American President, he's good at talking to the camera, and us, effortlessly holding our attention all by himself.

This Wall Street sequel is a very well made movie. Visually it's high-tech and glam. The performances (Douglas, Shia LeBeouf, Frank Langella and Josh Brolin) are uniformly solid and engaging.

I did have a problem with the script/plot. It was so Byzantine that I got lost in who was scamming who and what was happening with this or that deal and what the ef is Susan Sarandon doing in this film, anyway? So I just kinda gave up and enjoyed the ride.

Movie Monday -- Heists and Capers

Share your favorite heist & caper movies that create criminal characters we end up rooting for, linking back here at The Bumbles.

I could have named this post, "Hello, Gorgeous," because these movies stars are exceptional looking men. They each have a compelling screen presence, sure, but they're also very handsome. Maybe that's what makes bad boys "characters we end up rooting for."

Bonnie and Clyde. They were young … in love … and they killed people. Both very violent and very moving, it's one of the most influential American films ever made.

Ocean's 11. A confection. The opposite of Bonnie & Clyde, really. There is nothing remotely plausible about this movie, but when a film begins with Clooney in a tux, you know it's going to have an exceptionally high charm quotient.

The Sting. Henry Gondorf and Johnny Hooker, aka Newman and Redford, the two coolest men who have ever lived, pulling off one of the most complicated heists ever filmed.

Catch Me If You Can. Leonardo DiCaprio is aw-shucks terrific as a kid with a heart of gold and a penchant for larceny.

"I wish I was a kid again, doing what I did again ..."

I spent Saturday with my oldest friend. She's getting ready to move across country to California, to begin a new job and a new chapter of her life. Our festivities included emptying out her safety deposit box and saying goodbye to her parents' graves. But the real fun part was going through a box of old 16 and Teen Scene magazines from the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Ah, Bobby Sherman! David Cassidy! Barnabas from Dark Shadows! Pete from The Mod Squad! Yes, all the dashing heartthrobs of our junior high years were represented. They each faced heartache, shared love secrets and begged to be our faves. At times, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

I don't think I'll see her again now until December, when I go out to visit her in her new home for her 54th birthday. But we're in contact almost every day, sometimes more than once a day, and I'm sure that won't change. We're closer than sisters, and a few miles isn't going to change that.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "I've Been Tagged" Meme

1. Where are you from? Brookfield, IL, a village just 15 miles west of Chicago. I can't believe it's only 15 miles, because it couldn't be a smaller small town. It is also the home of The Brookfield Zoo, one of the country's really great parks and if you ever get a chance, you should visit it and say "hi" to my favorite animals, the okapis, for me.

2. If you could live any place in the world, where would you live? I can't imagine living anywhere else. I believe Chicago is the greatest city in the world: four seasons, a thriving theater community, easily accessible public transportation, diversity and, of course, The Cubs.

3. What's your favorite blog? I'll check them out of course! SnarkyPants. Who is she? Here are 100 Things about Her.

4. What is your biggest blogging pet peeve? Dopey comments. There was one blogger in particular, someone I barely knew in even the flimsiest cybersense, whose blog I never visited, who would come by and say the most pointless shit, I think just to get her link out there. For example, I wrote a long post about a film classic, and she left a comment saying, "Never saw it."

5. What's your favorite TV show this season? I need a new show! :) I have to favorites: NCIS and Mad Men.

6. What's your favorite 'down' time {nothing computer related}? Reading

7. Are you a parent? If so, what's your favorite thing to do with your children? I'm a barren spinster

8. What about your blog, have you considered changing? Not much. I have changed backgrounds time and again, but I like this one and shall keep it for a while.

9. What do you do for a living (if you work outside the home or if you work at home)? I'm at a writer for a venerable Chicago ad agency which is mentioned frequently on Mad Men.

10. What is your favorite song at the moment? What is your favorite song ever? "Shut up and put your money where your mouth is/that's what you get for waking up in Vegas," by Katy Perry, is my current favorite. I suppose my all-time favorite is All My Loving by the Beatles. I know this wasn't the first song they sang on The Ed Sullivan Show, but it's the first one that made an impact on me, and I fell everlastingly in love.

11. What is your favorite niche TV channel to watch? The news channels

12. If you could have any career, what would it be and why? I'd love to be a historian like Doris Kearns Goodwin. She gets years to write her books, enjoys almost unlimited access to historical papers, gets paid boatloads of cash and ends up on the bestseller lists. Doris, you are my hero!

13. What is your favorite outfit? Comfy jeans, a t-shirt from a favorite vacation destination, and no shoes.

14. If you could tell your teenage self something, what would you say? "Your mother is wrong, these are most definitely NOT the best years of your life, and it only gets better from here."

15. What is your favorite recipe? Foodler

16. What is the funniest joke you've ever heard? A grandmother is watching her grandson playing on the beach. A huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please, God, save my only grandson. I will live a blameless life if only you return him to me. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to Heaven and says, "He had a hat."

17. What is your favorite vacation spot and why? Colonial Williamsburg, because it blends my geeky love of history with my decadent love of pampering.

18. What are you most excited about with fall here? Using up all the vacation time I have greedily hoarded this year, and enjoying nice, long weekends.

19. Did you envision yourself to be where you are today ten years ago? If not, what did you envision? I'm pretty much where I thought I'd be ... though I imagined a thinner me in a better decorated condo.

20. If money were no object, what would your dream house look like? The 40th floor of a high rise looking out onto Lake Michigan.

21. What is your all-time favorite Disney movie? Mary Poppins

22. What blog do you think isn't getting enough notice? See Question #3

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Just Like Me

1. Who in your life do you think behaves and thinks the most like you do? When I look at my almost-18-year-old niece, I see an idealized, improved-upon version of the way I was at that age.
2. As a kid, were you ever wrongly accused (and punished, if it went that far) for something you didn't do? If so, what was it? What happened? Not exactly. But when we were little kids, my older sister used to surreptitiously pinch me and when I'd scream, my parents would yell at me for making noise. It never got old for her.

3. What about as an adult, were you ever wrongly accused for something you didn't do?? Do you think it's worse to be accused as a child or an adult? Why/why not? One of my coworkers insisted on remembering me as being the adversarial one in a long meeting, when in reality, it was the MAN sitting next to me. She kept berating me for my bad behavior for days -- um, I don't work for you, bitch -- and finally I just announced I was going home and would not be back the next day, either. And I told my boss to take that day to fix the problem. It was easier than it was in my childhood, because as an adult, I had power and I could handle it.

3. What’s the scariest weather situation you’ve experienced? Spring storms are always scary/exciting around here. I can't think of a specific one.

4. If you could wake up tomorrow morning in another country, where would you want to be and why? England. Because they speak English and it would be easier to navigate, sight see and, of course, get home.

5. Instead of going to work Monday, if you could spend the entire day doing something else--any one or two things that you absolutely love doing--what would you do? Reading and going to the movies.

6. What sites (other than meme sites) do you use most to help you post on your blog? Life Magazine Photo Archives

7. Check out a post on your blog from six months ago (March 2010) and tell us what is different now about your blog and/or life? Not a ton. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is still my all-time hero and inspiration in times of stress and I'm still sad about my uncle (today is his birthday). However, my best friend and I are fine, so in all, I'm happy.

8. What was the last photograph you took? My pedi.

9. Which fashion trend do you believe is the most horrendous and why? Why must otherwise perfectly lovely handbags be marred by fringe? It's so 1970s, and the 1970s were not an especially aesthetically pleasing decade.

He's cracking me up

My boss, that is. Usually he's so hands-off it's laughable. Most of the down-and-dirty of financial marketing really doesn't seem to interest him that much.

But now we have a project that excites him. And, since it's interesting to him, it's supposed to be a priority for us. He seems confused that his enthusiasm hasn't rubbed off on me … that I wasn't delighted to spend two hours this morning discussing it, and I haven't jumped on the next steps he suggested yet.

Um ... that's because the "fun" project has to be wrapped up by end of day 9/29. And the usual, same old/same old, dull, boring shit that I have been working on for more than a week is due end of day TODAY.

Maybe everyone feels about their boss the way I feel about him. From 2001 to 2003, I was a Big Boss myself, a Creative Director with a staff of 6. I wonder if I was as out of touch as he is.

I feel good, I knew that I would

I worked out at lunchtime -- 32 minutes of cardio, reps on the incline press and the hip ad/abductors. Yea!

Then I donated my platelets. I like knowing that 3 hours total (that includes going to and from the Lifesource Center) will help make a cancer patient's chemo easier. I have done this before, so I already knew it's completely painless. But now, because of my friend Kathleen's breast cancer, donating seems more personal and more important.

This show ROCKED!

I saw American Idol's Constantine Maroulis in Rock of Ages last night, and it was simply terrific. First of all, he's simply a charmer. He has great pipes and unexpectedly delicious comic timing -- all innocent wonderment inside a leather-clad rocker's body. The plot is fabulously, ridiculously silly. And the music! Everything from "Cum on Feel the Noize" to "Don't Stop Believing" to "We Built This City." I've had "Harden My Heart" running through my head all day. If you get a chance to see this show, do it!

It was also good to see my old boss/theater buddy, Barb, again.

The Queen's Meme -- The Change Meme

1. Name one thing you'd like to change about yourself. The extra weight I'm carrying around.

2. If you could wave a magic wand and be done with all the small petty nuisances in your life, what you would have "be gone" first? Extraneous packing materials! I am sitting here looking at a box that's about 12" deep and 14" long and was used to ship a single, solitary blue canvas tote. Now, really! What am I going to do with this ginormous hunk of cardboard? Not to mention all the tissue they used to keep the bag from bouncing around in the ginormous box in transit.

3. Do you collect and save your spare change in a jar? Yes. Pennies in a piggy bank, quarters (for laundry) in a big old mug from the Hofbrauhaus Munchen.

4. Change your world. What is our biggest concern as a global humanity? Our willful insistence on demonizing one another. Oh, and handguns.

5. What would you have changed about your last relationship or the one you're in now? Nothing, really. It was fun and ran its course naturally.

6. If you could reverse the course of history in a time machine, what would you do and how do you think the world would be different today? I would insist that Robert Kennedy take the pre-arranged route through the hotel lobby and not stop in the kitchen to greet the foodservice staff. Then Sirhan Sirhan would not have gotten a clean shot, the Vietnam war would have ended years earlier, and the inevitable changes in race relations would have had a chance to come about with more civility.

7. Who would you like to change into a toad? A certain high-maintenance coworker.

8. What is the first thing you change into when you get home from work? My playclothes -- more casual (meaning well-worn) jeans and a t-shirt bearing the name of a recent vacation destination.

9. If you could change places with anyone in the world for one day, who would that be? Mariska Hargitay. I wonder how it feels to be tall and lean and gorgeous.

10. Have you ever heard the expression "turn over a new leaf?" What is under your old one? Being a victim.

11. Name one thing that can cause you to immediately change your mood. Baseball. I bleed Cubbie blue.

12. What have you recently (or ever) had a change of heart about? And why? Mark Harmon. My current TV boyfriend. He was so good as The Deliberate Stranger (Ted Bundy) that I was actually creeped out by him for decades.

13. When is the last time you changed the oil in your car? I don't have a car. And the people who run the Pace Suburban Bus Company get so testy when I go looking for mechanical doo-hickies to fiddle with.

NOW STAY OUT OF THE DUNGEON BY PLAYING ALONG!
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I Want Wednesday

I want to work out! For one reason or another, I haven't been to the health club all week and I miss it -- which, I guess, is a good sign. Maybe I'm hooked on the endorphins and will go more often when the opportunity arises. Or perhaps I'll start making opportunities.

10 on Tuesday

Ten Reasons Why I'm in a Better Mood Today

1) I just watched the season premiere of NCIS. My TV boyfriend, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, is back in a big way!

2) The city looked especially green and clean today as I walked from train to my office this morning. A wonderful way to start the day!

3) Had dinner last night with Kathleen and was happy to see how well she's dealing with her breast cancer. She's keeping a journal of her experiences, at the suggestion of a cancer survivor from her church, and it's making it easier for her to share her feelings with her husband.

4) Also, we tried a lovely little restaurant for the first time. I had the roasted chicken, and it was delicious!

5) Had lunch today with a former co-worker, a complete angel. I'm happy to report that she's happily pregnant with her second baby boy (due within the month).

6) Enjoyed buckwheat/fruit/pecan pancakes for lunch. Don't know why, but it's always fun to have breakfast food for lunch.

7) Bat Glove! This clear plastic wrap can help prevent bats from shattering, which means that horrifying accidents like the one that befell Tyler Colvin could be a thing of the past. (Get well, TyCo!)

8) I still have almost two weeks of vacation that I must take before the end of the year! So I'm going to visit my oldest friend for her birthday in her new home in Los Angeles.

9) My best friend has been reliably there for me, and my world always feels more right when that's the case.

10) It's the 21st of September!

And on the subject of money ...

… my mom is making me nuts.

Last year I gave her one of my Citi American Airlines credit cards. I told her she had $25/month to use anyway she chose. BUT I told her it had to be $25/month -- not $50 one month and none the next because I pay it off every month to avoid finance charges and I'm only budgeted $25 extra dollars every month.

I told her to charge one of her weekly lunches at Olive Garden with her friend Shirley. Or her groceries (she makes two trips a week, and $25 would cover one of them). I told her this way she would have cash available if something big comes up.

She doesn't like to use the card at Olive Garden because then they would need separate checks and that's too hard for the waitress.

She doesn't like to charge her groceries because people who do that are in serious money trouble. Um, SHE IS IN SERIOUS MONEY TROUBLE!

Lately she's simply been ignoring the $25 limit. In August it was $43.36 at Menard's (an irresistible sale on bird seed) and Thursday it was $73.39 at the vet for her cat Ethel. I found this out by checking the Citi website. She never was going to tell me.

I'd say it's not the money, except it kind of is. I'm trying to build a reserve in case my niece or nephew needs my help. My brother-in-law is still out of work, with no unemployment coming in. When you add up my Mom's Medicare Part B insurance, her snow removal, and the $25 a month on Citi, I'm giving her $215/month. I know she gave me life and yes I love her and of course I take my responsibility to her seriously, but she's not helping me here.

Do I sound awful?

So Saturday I called her and we talked about it all. I guess I feel better about it because we cleared the air. BUT ... here's the thing --

Even though I have told her -- and told her and told her -- that she could use the card whenever she wanted for whatever she wanted, as long as she didn't go over $25/month, she never bothered to listen to me. She admitted as much. After all, I have money.

So she charged $75, so that will make it hard for me to pay it off in its entirety. So? Just send $50 less this month.

I told her -- again! -- that I pay this card off in full every month because in exchange for the miles I earn it has a very high interest rate. And that by not calling me when she went over, she put me in a pickle.

She was all like, "oh, wow, really?"

So I told her -- yes, REALLY! And I asked her, "don't you understand what I have been saying to you, over and over again?"

Not really. But not because she's vague. Because she doesn't listen and doesn't think it should matter because, after all, I have money.

She admitted she takes me for granted. She mentioned the insurance and the snow removal, and all the presents I have bought for my sister and brother-in-law for her to give them because I know money is tight for her and their birthdays (as well as my niece's and nephew's) are all between now and the end of November. She said she knows I'm the only one of her kids who helps, and that's not fair, so consequently she won't take any money from me anymore.

Damn it! That's not what I'm asking of her. I'm asking her to limit the use of that card to $25/month. I'm not saying I won't help her with vet bills, I'm saying she has to call me first. I told her this, and reminded her that I'm not being unreasonable here.

And besides, if she doesn't take money from me, what exactly is she going to do? Work? She can't walk any distance anymore. Turn to one of my sisters? My uncle? Are you laughing yet?

AND she wants to send me a check for the $50. Why? So I can turn around and give it to her again next time her cat Ethel gets sick? I didn't say that to her because it would hurt her too much, so instead I said, "I want to help you be independent and happy in your house, but I don't want it to be unfair to me. It's not about the money. It's about you spending the extra money without telling me first."

"It's about the money to me, Gal." She told me she's sorry she takes for me granted and that she loves me and doesn't tell me enough. And that's where we left it, because she wouldn't talk about it anymore.

So I don't know where we left it. The good news is, it's nice to know she's not feeble. She understands what I say to her, when she bothers to listen. The bad news is, I'm a combination daughter-ATM. And that hurts.

More about Crazy Old Neighbor

$10,000. That's the princely sum that Crazy Old Neighbor killed himself over.

According to the note he left, he believed he was being hounded and blamed by us for the $3,000 he owes the condo association board (though not for the thousands in destruction of property, which he denied doing). He still owes his bank $7,000 for his 1 BR unit on the third floor. He left his condo and his car to relatives, but their lawyers contacted our lawyers to say that since they, too, were "estranged" from him and involved in litigation, they're not going to take possession of his stuff as quickly as we'd like.

I suppose it doesn't matter, really, as long as they aren't foreclosed upon and pay his assessments (both current and past-due).

I think about him constantly. The last time I saw him -- the Thursday before Labor Day -- I actually crossed the street to avoid making eye contact with him. Now he's dead.

I know he either would have ignored me or called me a "bitch" again, and I just didn't feel like dealing with it that day. But I still feel guilty. He was my neighbor and clearly he was in a lot of distress and that wasn't nice of me.

And then I'm mad at him anew. Because, like the damage to the laundry room he did that's yet to be repaired, he manages to get the last word ... over Labor Day, today and for all eternity.

Suicide can be a monstrously selfish act.

Movie Monday -- Growing Older

Share on movies about aging or being elderly, linking back here at The Bumbles.

Solitary Man. I just saw this movie last month. Michael Douglas was superb as a man who refuses to grow old gracefully, who deals with his health problems by ignoring them. This was before we learned of the actor's real-life health problems, which make his performance even more touching. If it's not out on DVD yet, it soon will be, and I highly recommend it.





Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Growing older and becoming vulnerable has never been more terrifying -- or campy. By the way, Bette Davis was 54 when this scene was filmed, which leads me to believe aging is scarier for actresses than for the rest of us.

"Looked like he was being stabbed"

This incident is just too awful. I'm grateful that I was dozing and missed seeing it live as just the tape is profoundly upsetting. My thoughts and prayers are with you, TyCo. From the Chicago Tribune:

Cubs' Colvin hospitalized, impaled by bat

MIAMI -- Tyler Colvin is in stable condition at a local hospital after being impaled in his upper left chest by a piece of broken bat during Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium.

Colvin was scoring from third on Welington Castillo's RBI double when a piece of bat hit him in his chest. He was transported to the Ryder Trauma Unit of Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami, where X-rays were taken and the wound was being sutured.

He's being treated for pneumothorax, a puncture of the chest cavity, which allowed air into the chest wall and the potential of a collapsed lung. A tube was inserted into the wound, and Colvin is resting comfortably, but will remain hospitalized for 2-3 days for further examination, and manager Mike Quade said he will not play again this season.

Colvin was not in labored breathing, and there was very little blood. There was no immediate word on the depth of the wound, though it was only a few inches from his heart, and his neck, and could've been much more serious. The sharp end of the larger piece of Castillo's broken bat is what went into Colvin's chest, but it did not stick into the chest.

Marlins catcher Mike Rivera said it was scary and looked like "he was being stabbed."

The Cubs said there was minimal external bleeding.

Castillo didn't know what was happening at first, and said it was tough to put out of his mind.

"I feel really bad about it," he said. "It wasn't on purpose, but he's my teammate."

Jeff Samardzija, the next hitter, met Colvin at the plate.

"It was wild," he said. "It's one of those things you don't see too often. But I thought he was fine. I thought we were just joking around. I saw a little something on his shirt and said, 'Hey man, you should probably get inside."

Samardzija said Colvin was smiling, and that "it kind of caught him by surprise, too."

Manager Mike Quade said he's "amazed" it hasn't happened more often with the maple bats splitting apart so often.

"We've seen guys get hit by pieces, but to actually get stabbed by one..." he said.

Good for what ails me

Got up early, went to breakfast, went to church, went to sleep on the sofa. My throat doesn't hurt anymore, but I am just sooooo exhausted!

Fortunately there's a Law & Order: SVU marathon on USA. I love Olivia and Elliott, and am content to just lay here and watch them for hours and hours (which is what I've done).

My throat hurts

I got a flu shot Saturday, and now I feel like I have the flu. I was told to expect it, and now it's happening. And so I am going to bed and will hope this sore throat goes away within 24 hours (as promised by the fact sheet handed me by the pharmacist).

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying

1. When was the last time you cried? June 24. I was telling my friend Kathleen about my uncle's deteriorating, and irreversible, condition. I'm not much of a crier, so I remember it distinctly.

2. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be? Singing.

3. Who is someone (other than yourself) would you like to go back into your past and talk to and why? My grandpa. He died when I was in high school, just as I was learning what a wise, interesting man he was in his own right -- as opposed to just being the loving grandpa who laughed at every one of my jokes, kept the supply of cookies coming and gave great hugs.

4. What is your favorite meal eating out? Breakfast! While a hearty breakfast is a great way to start the day, breakfast dishes in my sink definitely are not.

5. Do you feel energized or drained by being in a group situation? If the answer is "it depends," on what does it depend? On the setting and people.

6. What word do you use far too frequently? "Fuck."

7. What’s a word you’ve invented? (alternate question: What needs a word but doesn’t have one yet?) There needs to be a word for that desperate longing that accompanies the memory of something terrific that's passed.

8. Pick out one of your favorite songs. Go to Song Facts and tell us about the song's history. September, by Earth, Wind and Fire. "While there are many theories as to the '21st night of September' in the opening lyrics, the truth is they just felt right."



9. What is your absolute favorite piece of furniture you have and why? The wooden cabinet that holds the TV in my bedroom. It's designed like an Amish ice chest, with a great handle and hinges.

Well, that's done

Two hours at the laundromat. Hopefully, by next week the washers in this building will be repaired and this is the last of Crazy Old Neighbor's destructive legacy. It's such a waste of time and quarters! To take some of the sting out of it, I rewarded myself with a hot dog, fries and Dr. Pepper.

Self Portrait

Oh, but don't I wish! The thing of it is, though, twice in two days I have been told I look at least 10 years younger than I am. That sort of thing does put spring into this old Gal's step.

God help me, I laugh

This Will Ferrell-John C. Reilly movie is vulgar and infantile, and it cracks me up every time.

Checking off my "to do" list

Got a lot done at work today, and I think I did it well. My boss came by and asked my advice on the best way to approach an assignment, and that felt good, too. Best of all, I found that "Maggie Poppins" will be back in a few weeks. She's the freelance contractor who worked with us during the summer of 2009, and in a few weeks she'll be joining us again, filling in for a strategist who's going on maternity leave.

I didn't get to work out today, but other than that, I think it's been a good day.