Manic Monday #24

How often do you change your toothbrush? I don't have a formula for it. Each time I go to the dentist (because he gives me a new one) and then at least once in between visits so that would be ... um ... every 3 months or so. How often am I supposed to do it?

What is your favorite item of clothing to shop for? Do purses count? I looooove looking at purses. If purses don't count, then sweaters in fall/winter and lighter-weight pullovers and t's in spring/summer. I have more fun shopping for tops than bottoms (because I have a criminally fat ass).

Do you use social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc.)? Which do you use most often? Twitter. I never check Facebook. Between this blog and Linked In (a networking site) and now Twitter, I don't have time for Facebook.

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Manic Monday #23

Do you screen your phone calls? Yes. I feel it's more polite than hanging up on a telemarketer. (To paraphrase Horton Hears a Who, "people are people, no matter if they're telemarketers.") If I'm wrong and it really was a call I needed to take, they'll leave a message and I can call them back.

When was the last time you lost your temper? Last week a crazy man went off on me at the el platform. He called me the "c-word" and a "douchebag." I was very angry and upset, but was determined not to let him see that he got to me. So I responded, as evenly as I could, "I prefer twat." He kept raging at me. It was very upsetting. I realize I'll never know what set him off, I'll never see him again and I don't care what he thinks of me, but I hate when people like that burrow their ways into my life. Women on the el platform were very nice to me and said things like, "Your day will get better," and "Don't worry, he's just nuts."

When you're lost, do you ask for directions? Yes. I frequently don't understand the directions either because I have no sense of direction. But I try.

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Manic Monday #22

What would you do with an extra hour each day? My appropriate, well-intentioned answer is that I would use the time to work out, or organize my paper-dominated, over-cluttered condo. In reality, though, I'd probably just veg and recharge my battery with more alone time.

Do you wear a watch? If so, tell us about it. If not, how do you keep track of time? Right now I'm wearing a nice silver Timex with an easy-to-read face and a brown band. I also have a similar watch with a black band. I'm looking for a reasonably-price (reduced down to damn cheap) dressier watch.

If it was possible, would you want to know how many days you had left to live? No! What would be the point, unless I could change it?

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Manic Monday #21

What's the most embarrassing song on your iPod (or music collection)? La La La (If I Had You) by Bobby Sherman. "La, la, la, la, la, la. There ain't nothing in this world I couldn't do. La, la, la, la, la, la. My dreams would all come true if I had you." Dreadful, ain't it?

How much time do you spend each day in your commute? (Or if you don't work outside the house, how much time do you spend in your car or other preferred mode of transportation?) 90 minutes door to door.

What's your favorite wardrobe item and why? My darkest blue blue jeans because I can dress 'em up or dress 'em down. They go with EVERYTHING.

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Manic Monday #21

Do you have any idiosyncrasies or unusual quirks when it comes to food and/or eating? I eat one thing at a time. For example, on Thanksgiving, I finish my turkey before diving into the stuffing. This annoys the people I dine with. I don't know why, as I don't pay attention to how they eat. But there you go.

Have you ever written love letters? If so, do you still have any of them? Love letters, specifically? No, but I have written chatty letters that include mushy parts. And I have hung onto them until long after the relationships have ended. Deleting them just always seems as final as getting my keys back.

How easy or difficult is it for you to say you're sorry? Depends on who it is and how big the infraction. The smaller the infraction, or the less intimate the acquaintance, the easier it is. It shouldn't be that way, but again, there you go.

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Manic Monday #20

What was the first thing you thought when you looked at yourself in the mirror today? Gawd! My bangs are curling!

Do you have a recurring nightmare? If so, explain. Not lately. But I used to have a dream that I was in Thomas Magnum's Ferrari when it exploded and he had to save me. This dream bothered me for two reasons: 1) I don't find Tom Selleck attractive and don't even think of him very often; 2) the damn car is a convertible and how can I not be able to figure out how to escape on my own? I mean, isn't this akin to being trapped on an escalator? My shrink told me that dreams are symbolic, not literal, and that this dream reflected troubles I was having at the time at work, when I wasn't sure who my allies were in the convoluted game of office politics.

List three foods you can’t stand: Tomatoes, melon, and Buffalo wings

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Manic Monday #19

What is one thing you admire about each of your parents? My mother loves and respects animals. She showed us by example that our pets were members of the family and should be treated that way. My dad read a lot and enjoyed history. I got that from him.

Which parts of your home do you like best? The view from my living room window. I'm on the fourth floor and I look into a tree top and it's quite cool.

Which would you prefer and why? To have every stoplight turn green upon your arrival for the rest of your life or to have one week of the best sex any person ever had? Since I love the planet and wouldn't want to add to carbon emissions, I guess I'll have to take the 7 days of heavenly sex. That's OK. No need to thank me.

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Manic Monday #18

What's worse, physical or mental cheating? Why? It depends on the man who is doing the cheating. I know it sounds like a cop-out answer, but it's not. I've known men for whom sex really was no big deal, and with one of them, the intimacy of genuine friendship would hurt me more. If the guy is more conventional about love and commitment, then the physical cheating would be worse.

Do you think men and women can be just friends? Why or why not? Oh, yes! I have many men friends, and if we're hot for each other, it would be news to us!

How do you feel about dating co-workers? While I acknowledge that it is most likely a very bad idea, I have found it irresistible.

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Manic Monday #13

How would your friend describe you to someone who has never seen you? Short, pudgy, lively and funny.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? I believe my oldest friend and my best friend would both protect me, to the best of their capabilities. And I can protect myself, because like the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Monday through Friday: my boss would definitely miss me. If they experienced radio silence for a few days, the aforementioned oldest and best friends would miss me. After about a week, my mom would miss me.

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Manic Monday #17

Using no more than 10 nouns, and ONLY nouns, describe yourself. Daughter, sister, aunt, friend, writer, loner, activist, partisan, dreamer, "hormone hostage."

If you owned your own store, what would you sell? Predominantly books, with a stack or two of greeting and notecards.

If you were to name the most comforting thing for you to hold in your hands, what would it be? My ginormous gray and white tomcat, Joey. Only technically speaking, he doesn't like to be held if that involves lifting him up. He does adore being petted and hugged, and it's incredibly comforting when he just comes over to be near me. He presses his warm old furry bod against me and purrs. In those moments, we are both the picture of "contentment."

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Manic Monday #16

What's your favorite beach in the world? Pale as I am, I'm really not a beachie-kinda gal and haven't had that many beach-centric vacations. But the southernmost beach in the contiguous 48, the beach in Key West that faces out to Cuba, is the one I have visited most often and have enjoyed the most.

What's the next country you want to visit? Ireland. I have been reading a lot of Marian Keyes chick-lit and she makes it sound completely charming.

What one thing are you craving today? Alone time would be nice. But since I'm at the office, I fear I'm not going to get it. Oh, well …

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Manic Monday #12

What do you do when you are feeling very sad or depressed? I heal with alone time, soaking in the tub and then vegging in front of the TV with a dependable movie or that old standby, Law & Order.

Who was your first crush? Paul McCartney. Sigh. Still not over him.

If given a chance to skip work for a day (without repercussions), how would you spend the entire day? Weather permitting, I'd love to go for a loooong walk with my headphones for company (Cubs baseball in the spring, summer and hopefully fall, iPod if there's no game).

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Manic Monday #15

Who would you like to see on a new banknote (dollar bill, etc.)? Eisenhower. No special historical reason. It's just last time I was in DC I noticed he's really not on anything. No museum, no memorial. There's a little bust of him in the Kennedy Center, but that's all I saw. So I say, "Let's give Ike his due!" After all, he has a very kind face and would be a worthy addition to any wallet or billfold.

If you were reincarnated as some other plant or animal, what would it be? A cat who lives like my cats. I wouldn't want to be a stray, trying to stay warm and dry and fed on the streets, dodging cars and predators. I'd want to be a cat like my Joey, who was laying in the middle of the living room, sound asleep, looking downright beatific, when I had to leave for work.

If you owned your own restaurant, what would you call it? The Gal's Greasy Spoon Grub. I believe in truth in advertising.

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Manic Monday #14

What sound or noise do you love? A cat purr.

What sound or noise do you hate? You know the sound when you assemble a brand new moving box? The way the cardboard sounds against the cardboard? I get goosebumps just thinking of it. I may stay in my condo forever, just to avoid that noise.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pet sitter.

What profession would you not like to do? Food service.

This kinda reminds me of that survey from the end of Inside the Actor's Studio on Bravo. Except it's missing the question about God -- "If Heaven exists, what would like to hear God say to you at the Pearly Gates?" My answer to that would be, "Hi, Honey. Welcome!"

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Manic Monday #13

Are you a talker or a listener? Is it ever possible to really be both? Not for me. I babble and blab. Especially when I'm excited. I try to be a better listener, but it's hard.

Do you think God has a sense of humor? Yes. And I believe that He thinks I'm funny. I also suspect He's very happy to be able to spend quality time with George Carlin, whose humor was always gentle.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever experienced it? No, and no. Lust, yes. Infatuation, of course. But love takes time.

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Manic Monday #12

If your personality had to be summed up as a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would you be? A burger, because it's always casual and a little messy, like me. And it can be simple and straightforward, or complicated by a lot of condiments, also like me.

If you knew that someone was dying, but they didn’t know, would you tell them the truth or deceive them about it? Wow! Of course this is a very serious situation (one I hope I never find myself in) and a lot would depend on individual circumstances (like if that someone has young ones that need to be planned for), but my first impulse is to say I'd deceive them. Death is ultimately between you and God, and I don't need to be involved.

Do you dress the same when you are depressed as you do when you are very happy? Yes. My uniform always begins with jeans, unless I have some professional thing to do or I'm going to the theater. Then it begins with dark slacks. So while my destination has an impact on my clothes, my mood never does. My choice of purse might, but not my mood.

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Manic Monday #11

What is your ideal age? I was happiest, strongest (emotionally and physically), and in the best health at 35.

What is your best excuse for being late? That the trash bag broke on my way to the dumpster and I had to clean up the mess I left in the common hallway (I live in a condo building). It's a very good excuse and I've used it more than once. Of course, it was only true one of those times I used it …

If you had to give yourself a nickname what would it be? Wanton Vixen. I'd also love the opportunity to live up to it.

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Manic Monday #10

I haven't particpated in a while, so I apologize if I'm rusty. But here goes!

What name would you want to have if you were the opposite sex? Jeff. I don't know why. I just like it.

Would you share the tooth brush of your spouse/significant other? Why or why not? No. I'd rather just make do by squeezing a ribbon of paste onto my index finger. Considering some of the indelicate things my significant others and I have shared, I realize this makes no sense. But there you go.

What is a song that you love to hate? The first one that springs to mind is Madonna's "Vogue."

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Manic Monday #9

If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? That's easy: Georgia.

Where do you go for advice? Depends on the topic. Family or feline problems: my mom. Romantic troubles: my oldest friend. Everything else: my best friend.

What is the sickest you've ever been? My first migraine, about a year and a half ago. It hit me so hard, and made me so ill, that I had to curl up in a little ball on the floor of the fitting room at Carson, Pirie, Scott for a while. Got home and just collapsed into bed. I would have been frightened if I wasn't so nauseous, motion-sensitive and just plain miserable. Thank God for Relpax -- better living through pharmaceuticals! One little pill and the agony is vanquished.

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Manic Monday #8

Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were the opposite sex? For the most part, I think men have it easier because historically they have had more power. Men have been responsible for most of the law making and law breaking in our society. Of course, they historically have had more stress and tend to die younger, so maybe it evens out. And yes, when I see how short the mens' room lines are at sporting events, I have wished I was male.

What books from your childhood would you like to share with your children? Charlotte's Web. Charlotte inspired me to work to become a good writer and a true friend. I owe that spider a great deal and would love to share her message.

What is one talent or skill you don't possess but always wanted? I can't sing for shit. Completely tone deaf. In my dreams I sound like Streisand. No one has been rude enough to tell me what I sound like during waking hours.

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