What not to do on a bad day

Sat for my "portrait" for my church directory. Just the thing to do when you're feeling fat and pimply and just plain useless. At first when I saw my face come up on screen, over and over, seven times in all, I was appalled. I'm a ruddy pudge with too-pale eyebrows. Once I calmed down and took a closer look, I realized the photographer really did know what he was doing. "Tilt your head this way, raise your chin just a bit, glance over this way ..." It felt very silly as I was doing, but as photos of a ruddy pudge with too-pale eyebrows go, these are pretty good.

Read about Jen and Vince's real-life breakup. I'm strictly Team Aniston. Apparently Vince got tired of the media circus that follows Jen, and that she can be too demanding, too high maintenance. It makes me sad. Brad was supposed to be her lobster, and look how that ended. She and Vaughn were at Wrigley Field over Memorial Day and looked so happy. And now they're over. Sniff, sniff.

Pick your Hepburn

A website called Style Dash compares the two very different icons with the same last name. Apparently they're like the Beatles and Elvis: you can like them both, but odds are you only LOVE one of them. Now that I think of it, that's probably true.

As fashion icons, they couldn't be more different. According to Style Dash's Deidre Woollard, they can be summed up this way: Kate wore shirts, Audrey wore blouses; Kate was brash confidence, Audrey was fragile beauty.

As movie icons, they shared this: neither one of them ever disappeared completely into character because they were characters themselves: Oh, let's watch Kate shoot the rapids in Bogie's boat! Uh-oh, that nasty man is terrorizing poor blind Audrey! Each woman's persona was so indelible and likable that we enjoyed the familiarity, and probably never would have forgiven either of them if they strayed too far from the women we (thought we) knew.

I like them both, but I LOVE Kate.

The strength of my favorite Kate performances comes from us knowing instantly how good and how beautiful (both inside and out) she is, but it takes a while for her leading men (from Fred MacMurray in Alice Adams through Cary Grant in Holiday onto Spencer Tracy in Desk Set) to catch on. There are the movies (Adam's Rib, Woman of the Year, Philadelphia Story) where she was a bit too big for her khaki britches and it took a strong man to cut her down to size. I like the films in this category way less. There's something misogynistic about how we're supposed to delight in the downfall that's ultimately for her own good.

When I think of Kate, I think of On Golden Pond, because she should have been Jane Fonda's mother. And I think that, in a cinematic sense, she was. There's a much stronger line between Kate and Jane than there is between feisty Kate and ethereal Audrey.


http://www.styledash.com

For she has got ... ANOTHER GUY

Seems that the soon-to-be-ex Lady McCartney has a constant companion who makes sure she never gets lonely as she travels the world first class. According to the Daily Mail (a publication which, I must disclose, seems to really hate Heather Mills), 24-year-old Ben Amigoni has been at Heather's side constantly since she and Paul split. He's either her personal trainer or body guard, but no matter what role he's playing, he's always by her side -- even when she's flying from London to Los Angeles. The price for his round trip ticket? According to the Daily Mail, well over $5000.

Heather Mills still receives a monthly "allowance" from Sir Paul. I bet he's thrilled by how she spends it.