Sunday Stealing

Monday Morning Meme

1. What was the last thing you laughed at? My niece's baby. Violet is not quite 5 months old. She sleeps very soundly but wakes up (snap!) instantly. She was asleep in her mother's arms when I arrived to meet her Saturday morning. Violet awoke on her own, caught sight of me sitting beside her and had this wide eyed look of, "What the fuck?" Her big brown eyes telegraphed her thoughts so clearly, she was like a cartoon character, and it made me laugh. She also literally rubbed her eyes when she got sleepy. Aside from the fact that she's cute, her face is animated and expressive. For someone who has no words, she makes herself understood quite clearly. I found her endlessly amusing.

2. Who among your friends/family "gets" your sense of humor? This is why I miss my friend John so much. He always got me. My oldest friend used to, but her cognitive/mental challenges get in the way. On the plus side, my nephew usually gets me.

3. What jewelry are you wearing at this moment? Little faux pearl studs.

4. If you could offer one bit of etiquette that everyone should follow while dining out, what would it be? Before you go to the restaurant, stop at the ATM so you can leave your tip in cash. If you put the tip on your credit card, your server likely won't see it until they receive their next paycheck. 

5. What's the first thing a guest would notice when they walked through your front door?

Thursday Thirteen #429

 

 

 

Brrr! Our water heater suddenly crapped out and I was relegated to cold showers for 2 mornings in a row. I hated it. But I learned that while uncomfortable, I was actually doing my body good.

1. Typically cold water out of the tap is between 45º and 60º. That may not sound cold, but trying showering in it.

2. Cold showers leave you alert. You relax in a hot shower or a warm tub, but you emerge from a cold shower with eyes wide open.

3. Regular cold showers can help fight acne, because cold water tightens pores.

4. It can undo the damage of the night before, because cold water reduces eye puffiness.

5. Some chronic skin conditions respond well to cold water. Patients with eczema and hives report that it helps. 

6. If your hair tends to be dry, cold showers might help. It's believed that hot water can strip your hair of natural oils, while cold water doesn't.

7. Your hair will be shinier, too. Cold water helps seal the cuticle, or top layer of the hair strand. A flat cuticle more effectively reflects light and your hair will appear glossier.

8. Cold water gets your blood pumping. It's believed cold showers bolster your circulation.

9. Your muscles may thank you. Cold showers may soothe aches, the same way an ice pack does.

10. They can be a good choice during cold and flu season. Here's the theory: cold showers speed up your white blood cell count, and those white blood cells will help your body resist illness.

11. A cold shower can enhance your workout because it boosts your metabolism.

12. It can naturally increase your oxygen intake. A cold shower stimulates deep breathing, which can help with anxiety or depression.

13. Cold showers are good for the environment. They tend to be shorter – I know mine were! – and no gas or electricity is used to warm the water up. 

All this is well and good, but I will forever prefer my nice long showers.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

Sunday Stealing

Complete the Thought

1. I wish someone would ... invent an app or something that would let me know when the washers in the laundry room are free. I hate hauling my detergent and dirty clothes all the way down to the basement, just to see that someone beat me to it.

2. When I order Chinese food ... I tell them not to include chopsticks. I don't know how to use chopsticks.

3. I know it's not everyone's favorite activity, but I actually enjoy ... doing the dishes. I don't have a dishwasher, so it takes a moment. But there's something nice about a chore that isn't complicated and has a beginning and a middle and an end. 

5. A major pet peeve of mine is ... neighbors who waylay me. I'm on the condo board, and I hate it when another unit owner traps me when I'm on the elevator or taking the trash out. Invariably what they ask me about is an issue for the management company and I can't answer them anyway. ("When is the landscaper coming?" "I'm sorry I don't know. Have you called the management company?") It's worse when they knock on the door. I'm not on duty 24/7, you know.

6. I remember when my grandfather ... This isn't anything specific, but a vibe. My grandpa always made me feel like seeing me was the highlight of his day. He was just such a big old love bug!

7. I am not fazed at all by ... bodily functions. Changing diapers, emptying litter boxes, and cleaning up puke are certainly not my favorite things to do, but they don't bother me.

8. Long car rides ... put me to sleep. (It's OK because I'm never driving.)

9. I don't understand the fuss over ... anime.

10. When I'm home alone ... I sing. Loudly and tunelessly, but happily.

 

 

Sunday Stealing

Stealing from Shannon 

1. What book are you currently reading? I am thisclose to finishing a thriller called None of This Is True. Gulp! Lisa Jewell is good at building tension.

2. Have you ever smoked? Nope. Not pot, not cigarettes. The thought of letting smoke out my nose or mouth just seems so germy and creepy and stinky.

3. Do you own a gun? Fuck to the no. Chicago is awash in guns. We need fewer, not more, around here.

4. What is your favorite candy? Sea salt chocolate.

5. Hot dogs: yay or nay? Big yay.

 6. Favorite movie? The Way We Were.

 

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Chocolate milk. I take vitamins, probiotics and a statin each morning and they all just go down easier with milk. Plus, well, chocolate, so there's that.

8. What do you drink throughout the day? I allow myself two cans of Coke/day. The rest of the time it's water.

9. Do you do push ups? I not only don't, I can't.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I often wear this charm as a pendant. It's a recreation of one of the coins found on the Atocha, a Spanish ship that went down off Key West in the 1600s. The charm is made from scrap silver that remained in the wreck. Amazing to think I'm wearing metal that rested for centuries at the bottom of the sea!

The pendant means a lot to me because it reminds me of my favorite uncle, who loved Key West and collected Atocha coins, and of my dear friend Henry, who lived in Key West and was with me when I bought it.

Read about the Atocha here

11. Current worry? Creeping (or shall I say galloping?) authoritarianism. Just read that the Trump Administration wants to tell Robert Iger how to run Disney. On the campaign trail he promised less regulation of business. I guess that only applies to Trump donors and tech bros. 47% of the nation seems to be OK with this. Worrisome, indeed!

12. Current annoyance? I'm on the condo board and we're looking at many, many repairs and renovations. We discuss them in detail at every meeting and post the minutes on the unit owner portal. No one attends the meetings or reads the minutes. They do, however, love to stop me in hall and laundry room with questions.

13. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I don't think I ever have slept on satin sheets.

15.  Can you whistle? Nope.

November Challenge -- Day 19

Find the challenge here

November Challenge: Five items you lust after

1. A quality, quiet cordless stick vac

2. A new official Cubs jacket

3. Durable yet cute waterproof outdoor ankle booties that are easy to slip on/off

4. An iron bed frame with head and foot boards

5. A lightweight portable DVD player with good sound

None of these items is that expensive, but I'm trying to be more sensible with my spending as I await the estimates for all village-mandated repairs for this building. If an awesome deal for any of these show up on Black Friday I may act. 

Except for the bed. The bed is complicated because I have to get rid of the existing bed frame. I'd like to have the junk guy come and take it and my bedroom TV away first. Then the new bed will have to be delivered and assembled and the cable guy will come over to set up my new living room TV and reprogram the remote for the old living room TV which will now be in the bedroom and oh, hell! I'll just keep this crappy bed frame and TV.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

 

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Summer in the City (1966)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) Now that Labor Day has passed and kids have returned to school, summer is unofficially over. Looking back, share a highlight from Summer 2024. My movie group had a Memorial Day get together to see From Here to Eternity (1953) on the big screen and afterward had a late lunch at the Argentinian restaurant around the corner. It was a big deal to me because I got to know Audrey a little better. During our regular weekly Zoom meetups, she annoys the living shit out of me. Always the wrong conclusion and the dumber-than-dumb question! But in person, her fragility touched me. I didn't realize how compromised her vision was, or how easily she could lose the thread of conversations. I now have greater compassion for her, and I'm grateful for that Memorial Day learning experience.

2) Though this week's song is about summer, it was recorded in the spring, March to be exact. What's your favorite season? Fall. I like my sweaters.

3) Lovin' Spoonful lead singer John Sebastian sings that he's going to meet his lover on the rooftop. When were you last on the roof of your building? I was up there once with a building inspector. There's really no reason for any of us residents to go up there. The door is locked and it's not allowed, anyway. As a top-floor resident, I appreciate this policy.

4) The lyrics refer to sidewalks that are "hotter than a match head." What's the last thing you lit with a match? Golly, I don't recall. I don't even have matches in my home. Back in my (very) old apartment, I used to have to light the gas stove's pilot light. But that was, like, 25 years ago. I don't even know if that's a thing anymore.

5) The Lovin' Spoonful was founded by John B. Sebastian and Zal Yanovsky. When the band broke up, Zal opened a restaurant. Tell us about the restaurant you most recently dined at. Shake Shake. Though known for their burgers, I broadened my horizons and had the chicken nuggets. 

6) John went on to have a solo career. His biggest hit was "Welcome Back," the theme to a popular 70's sitcom. The first line: "Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out ...". Do you recall what show used "Welcome Back" as its theme? Welcome Back, Kotter. He has a connection to a far, far better sitcom, though. His godmother was Vivian Vance, aka Ethel Mertz on I Love Lucy. (I learn things helping Crazy Sam do this meme.)

7) In 1964, when "Summer in the City" was popular, Americans were tuned in to Bewitched. The show centered around Samantha, a witch married to a mortal. Among her supernatural powers were flight, time travel and telekinesis (being able to move objects by twitching her nose). If you could have one of those powers, which would you choose? I'll go with the nose twitching thing. I always thought that was monumentally cool.

8) In 1964, AJ Foyt earned the second of his four Indy 500 victories. Do you watch car racing? Nope.

9) Random question: Is your big toe your longest toe? Yes.

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 8

My 2024 Happiness Icon

Today's happiness: It's Done!

I feel like I have been worried about my kitchen sink forever. First it was little winged bugs that would fly up through the drain in cold weather. I combated them with lots of hot water and a drain cleaner especially for the purpose, but it was a temporary fix because the bugs were coming in from somewhere.

Then it was the leaky pipes under my sink. I taped it up myself (and did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself) and put a bucket down there. but I knew it wasn't a forever fix, either.

Who would replace those pipes? I have a handyman I trust, but not a plumber. Would it be expensive and time-consuming? Would this plumber I don't even know have to turn off the water for the whole building? Will there be famine and pestilence? Really, I was spinning out of control.

 

I'm such an odd duck. In my previous professional life, I could make consequential decisions on the spot, at the head of the table, with all eyes on me. I was confident and didn't hesitate. But this homeowner shit! It perplexes and vexes me! 

The plumber was here for just 90 minutes. The bill came in at the midpoint of the estimate. Now I have a kitchen sink with no cracks for bugs and no leaks, and a plumber I can trust if something else goes wrong.

 

I am happy that it's done. I am happy that it ended well. I am happy I can relax.

 

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

August Happiness Challenge: Day 2

2024 Happiness Icon

 

Today's happiness: Getting Out

I got up early this morning and waited for a plumber who didn't come. (See post below.) I understand that shit happens and acknowledge that if my job were an emergency that compromised safety or sanitation, I'd want it to be a priority. So I'm trying to be a good sport about what happened. Which is not to say I liked it or that it wasn't unsettling. 

So what to do? I grabbed my headphones and got out. I listened to Pat Hughes call the Cubs game as I walked to the bank and to Target. Being outside in the sun was good for me. The score (6-3 over the Cardinals) and the Kit-Kat bar I grabbed on the way home helped, too. Suddenly I was content again.

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

My Dream Man

The pipes under my kitchen sink are leaking. I need my J-bend and P-trap replaced. My handyman says it's not the kind of job he's comfortable doing, and referred me to a plumber. The plumber was going to do it today but had to reschedule because of an emergency call. So now I'm going another week with Flex Tape on my pipes and a bucket under the sink, just in case. I feel like a teenager in a dorm, not a grown-ass woman with an AARP card and a mortgage.

And so I'm dreaming of Fred Mertz.The Riccardo's landlord was always available. He could fix plumbing and wiring and doorbells and windows and even helped Lucy out when she asked him to even out the legs on her sofa.

via GIPHY

If you happen to see Fred Mertz, tell him I love him. 

 

I'm doing it, but I don't feel like it

I worked four hours on Monday, three hours today and I agreed to another three hour shift at the card shop tomorrow. That's a 10-hour workweek. Not exactly grueling, especially when you look back on the 50-hour weeks I once clocked.

But here's the thing: I don't want to do it.

I've become fundamentally lazy. I want to sleep in. I look forward to days when I have nothing I have to do.

But too many days like that aren't good for me. They lead to too much solitude, where I don't interact with other humans and tend to overthink everything. 

And I need the money. We don't yet have a dollar amount for the extensive repairs we have to make on this building. I want to prepare for the worst. Plus, my oldest friend wants to come in for the Fest for Beatle Fans in Chicago this August. I just put the hotel on my credit card, and she swears she's going to pay for part of it, but let's face it: she's not going to. She can't. She still owes me $100 from our trip to Las Vegas in 2014.

So I'm doing that extra shift tomorrow, even though I don't feel like it. I need to get over myself. There are worse ways to spend three hours than surrounded by Mother's Day cards, pretty wrapping paper and scented candles.

 

Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Charlie Mops (2007)

Not familiar with this week's song? Hear it here.

 

1. This week's song is about a legend, Charlie Mops, the man who invented beer. Tell us about something you enjoy so much you could sing about it with the same enthusiasm the Salt Sea Pirates sing of beer. The Cubs. And I do sing about them. Here's our anthem, as performed by World Series Champions Anthony Rizzo, David Ross, Dexter Fowler, and Cubs super fan Bill Murray.

 

 

 

2.  The lyrics tell us beer goes well with breakfast, dinner and snacks. Think about what you dined on yesterday. What beverages did you have with your breakfast, your dinner, and your between-meal snack? Friday I had milk with breakfast, Dr. Pepper with lunch, and water with my snack.

3. "Charlie Mops" was chosen because it's an Irish drinking song and Sunday is St. Patrick's Day. Do you expect to raise a glass in honor of the day? I don't think so. I'm spending Sunday with my friend Nancy, who invited me to her temple to watch a Purim play. I've never done anything like this before and I'm enthusiastic about it, but it doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day.

4. Beer is not the only beverage often dyed green for St. Patrick's Day. In 1970, McDonald's introduced the Shamrock Shake, a milkshake made with a minty green syrup. If we were to go out for shakes right now, what flavor would you order? Strawberry, please.

5. Legend has it that wearing green makes you invisible to leprechauns, who can be mischievous pranksters. Is there anyone you would like to avoid today? All my neighbors. Here's what I've learned from being on the condo board: the more I see my neighbors, the less I like them.

6. For all our talk of green, it was not the original color of St. Patrick's Day. Through most of the 18th century, blue was worn across England and Ireland to honor St. Patrick. The Irish switched to green to express their independence from the English. Which color do wear more often: blue or green? I wear blue all the time. I'm wearing blue now.

7. Today St. Patrick's Day is observed all over the world. In Tokyo, it's not a single day but a weekend celebration. When you think of Japan, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Mitsubishi cars.

8. One of the biggest parades each year in Buenos Aires is for St. Patrick's Day. Have you ever participated in a parade? Yes. In my hometown I marched in the July 4th parade with my Girl Scout Troop. It was fun.

9. Georgia Southern University in Statesboro, GA, crowns a Miss St. Patrick's Day. Tell us about an event you recall from your college days. My college career was so limited -- I'm a community college dropout -- so I don't have an answer for this.

Good news all around

Photo by CDC on Unsplash

1) That's a wrap. I went to the ophthalmologist again for a follow up exam. After conducting three different tests, he concluded that virtually nothing has changed since last September. While he can't absolutely, positively 100% rule out glaucoma, there's no compelling evidence of it, either. Instead of seeing me every six months, he has scheduled me for annual re-testing. I like this. We're not ignoring it, we're following up. But he's also confident that I'm fine.         

2) We're one of 5. As I mentioned back on March 5, an inspector came through and left with two (2!) pages of violations need to be addressed right away. Some are small, like graffiti near the utility room. Some are structural and likely very expensive. The time frame was ambitious to the point that we're already late. 

We met with our management company, who put it on a very human level for us. The inspector is new, filling in for his boss, who is on maternity leave. We are one of 5 buildings who were found to have violations on the same week, and ours isn't even the worst.

The next step is not to start work.  It's to hire a structural engineer, who will see if the inspector's assessments are correct. If they aren't, we will present our case to the inspector. If they are, we will present our plan/priorities for making repairs. 

In short, no one is going to expect any of us condo unit owners to fork over a big bag of cash all at once, and maybe not at all.

I'm going to sleep tonight feeling better about everything, and for that I'm grateful.

Three Nice Things about Myself -- Day 5

My blogging buddy, Kwizgiver, wrote a post that really resonated with me. She detailed how self-care helped her helped her prevail during a (ridiculously) tough month. Her tips were very wise and so doable! So she has inspired me to take one and integrate it into my own life.

Since I can be a pretty harsh self-critic, this is the one I chose. I hope I can do this every day during March. By then it should be a habit, right?

Three nice things about myself -- March 5:

1) I haven't lost my shit ... yet. An inspector has decided that our building has structural issues that we must present a plan for correcting -- pronto. Right now, that's all I know. I have been running the numbers in my imagination, based on my assumptions, and think I will soon owe an additional $3,000 to $8,000. I am not happy about this. It's almost heartbreaking, because I have been working so hard to crawl out of debt. But here's the thing: I don't know what's going on and I won't for a while. I've made some contingency plans in my head to reassure myself that I'll be OK. But beyond that, there isn't anything else I can do. I have accepted that. No tears, minimal obsessing. Maybe all that therapy has been paying off!

2) I can do this job. Oh, the cash register is still often my nemesis and I take too long handling returns and exchanges. I know that, and I'm grateful customers are so patient with me. But here's the thing: I know the store better now and I have learned how to talk to shoppers. Today a woman was asking me specific questions about the different types of stationery in the back of the store and I answered her, but in talking to her I discerned that conventional stationery isn't what she needed at all. She wanted 2"x3.5" cards to create her own business card. As I steered her to a different part of the store and set her up with our collection of card stock in that size she could make a considered choice, I thought to myself, "Look at me! After three months, I know how to do this job with little help!"

3) I can be a comfort. Today my boss Jen (she of the green ribbon) told me that her 7-year-old daughter self harms. The girl picks at her fingertips until they bleed and bandages and antibiotic ointment are required. Her parents love her and are trying to help. Teachers are involved, a therapist is seen weekly. I was shocked not only by the situation but that Jen, a woman who seems so very in control and proud of it, was confiding all this in me. Especially because we've only known one another three months. I like that about myself: she sensed that I would have compassion for her little girl, and I do. I could tell she felt better after confiding in me. I like that about myself, too.

Worry, worry, worry

I do this to myself, you know. This tension, this stress. I worry about things that may happen but may not.

For example, about a month ago, Gregory invited me to lunch. He's sorting through his books and came upon some big, beautiful coffee table tomes about Hollywood he thought I would like, and he wanted me to have them before I go to the TCM Classic Film Festival in April. Sounds simple, right? And nice.

But I turned it into "a thing." I worried myself mad because in the 40+ years we've known one another, Gregory and I have never been alone together. For all the Thanksgiving dinners and summer lunches and birthday parties we've enjoyed together, we have always been part of a group. 

So what was up? Why did he really want to see me? Would we get along?

We met yesterday. I had a burger, he had clam chowder. The books are beautiful. We never ran out of things to talk about.

Why did I waste all that time worrying?

Then there's the mess with the condo board. Our building is in violation. We have the wrong smoke detectors. Some light bulbs in the hallways are out. There are cracks in the pillars in the parking lot. Etc., etc., etc. Jeremy in "Code Enforcement" sent the SECOND NOTICE to me. Just me. There are three of us on the Board but mine is the only name on the letter. I'm not even president!

I completely freaked out. 

Then I realized that 1) I cannot be solely responsible, since we have a management company and there are two other board members and 2) I never received a first notice. Neither did the management company. So that may buy us time in rectifying these situations.

Breathe, Gal, breathe.

Besides, it's Friday evening. Nothing of consequence is going to happen this weekend. I've texted the Board president (haven't heard back) and emailed everyone involved on our end, asking for ideas about next steps. I've done what I can do.

I have to try to let it all go, at least till Monday. 

Saturday 9

 
Saturday 9: Paper Doll (1943)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) The song is about a fellow who is exasperated by men flirting with his girl. Do you have a jealous streak? Yes. I wish I didn't, but when it comes to romance, I do.

2) He's blue after a quarrel with Sue. Did you exchange harsh words with anyone recently? Well, there's someone I was dying to exchange harsh words with, but I resisted. On the 7th, we had a condo association meeting. Gwendolyn attended and, presumably, heard the update on conditions in the laundry room. 

•  The machines would be up and running by noon on the 8th

•  They will not be in their customary spots for a while because work still needs to be done on the baseboards, but they are available for use.

An email went out to everyone Friday morning, restating all this.

On Sunday, Gwendolyn sent an officious bitch-o-gram to those of us on the board, complaining that the laundry room looks a mess with the machines pulled away from the walls and will they ever be available for use? Please advise, because she's "too busy" to try to use the washers and then find out they aren't operational. I wanted to reply that I'm "too busy" to explain the situation three times for wretched nitwits like her, but I bit my tongue. I just asked the management company to resend Friday's email to her. Did she apologize for not only being wrong but for treating us like employees? Of course not.

3) "Paper Doll" was #1 for 12 weeks in 1943-44, sold 11 million copies and remains one of the best-selling singles of all time. Had you heard it before today? Yes.

4) As kids, the Mills Brothers worked on their harmonies in front of their father's Piqua, OH, barbershop, much to the delight of passers by. Do you often encounter street musicians in your neighborhood? When I worked in The Loop, I saw them every day. But in my little neighborhood it's just not done. I don't know why.

5) The Mills Brothers were a long way from that street corner when, in 1936, they became the first African Americans to perform for the British Royal Family. It's about 4,000 miles from Piqua to London. What's the farthest you've ever been from home? It's 4,500 miles from Chicago to Munich, which I visited decades ago. I have friends and family who travel to Europe regularly -- my cousin Rose is saving for a trip to Italy right now to visit her favorite grand nephew who is studying there -- but I admit I'm far more parochial. There are many places in the United States I'd love to see for the first time or long to return to. (Like Honolulu, 4,250 miles from Chicago.)

6) In the early 1930s, the Mills Brothers not only performed songs on radio, they sang jingles for Standard Oil and Crisco. What commercial can you recall having seen (or heard) lately? There's a new Jardiance commercial and I'm disappointed. I liked the original better.  

7) In 1943, when "Paper Doll" was popular, WWII was raging and the US Mint began producing steel pennies because copper was needed for ammunition. Do you have any pennies in your pocket or wallet right now? I have a piggy bank on my kitchen counter, filled with pennies and nothing but. One of these days I'm going to roll the pennies and take them to the bank. Honest, I am.

8) Also in 1943, a bottle of Coke was a nickel. When did you most recently have a soft drink? What was it? I have Coke every day. When I worked at the office, the refrigerator was filled with Pepsi so I took advantage of that, but only because it was free. Coke is always my first choice.

 9) Random question: Have you learned more from your successes, or your failures? Successes. I respond better to positive reinforcement, and find myself dispirited by failure. 

Photo by Andre Taissin on Unsplash
 

An unlikely source of gratitude

 

Look at me, doing laundry! In my own (shared) laundry room, for the first time since January 5. It may sound counterintuitive, but every chapter of this of this laundry saga has filled me with gratitude.

During last month's arctic freeze, pipes all over Chicagoland burst and we weren't spared. That's why it took us forever to get a plumber out here. Our only burst pipe leads to the laundry room, so we were at the bottom of the queue. Gratitude #1: Many neighbors who live in older buildings, like ours, found themselves without heat or unable to flush. At least our health and comfort weren't at stake.

So this sent me to the laundromat. Since I don't drive, I had to load my dirty clothes into a Hefty garbage bag and then drag it in a rolling shopping cart to the laundromat. This trip took 15 minutes each way through streets that were often muddy. I am entirely too old for this shit. Gratitude #2: I used to do this every weekend. For 25 years! I had to get up early on Saturday morning to be sure that I got washing machines near one another. At least now that I'm retired, I could do it at my leisure and on a weekday afternoon, when it's not crowded.

The laundromat itself is a soul-sucking experience. It's the same one I went to back in the day, but it's fallen into serious disrepair. Probably a full third of the machines are out of order. The TVs are always on but it's disorienting because one has sound and no picture and the other has picture but no sound. The vending machines are mostly empty except for a couple forlorn, Jurassic-era packages of Doritos. Gratitude #3: I knew this was a short-term hiccough. I'm no longer one of the regulars.

The woman onsite is responsible for making change (of course the coin machine was glitchy) and doing the dirty clothes that are dropped off and she is small and old. Now I'm 5'1 and 66, so imagine how small and old she must be to look small and old to me. I heard her tell someone on the phone that she works every day until 7:00 PM. Imagine being in those rather depressing surroundings, dealing with the stained underwear of complete strangers, hour after hour, day in and day out. Gratitude #4: I have no training in anything but advertising writing, and I don't want to do that anymore. I'm so lucky that CeeCee took a chance on this small old lady and gave me a job the card shop. I get to spend my time among scented candles and pretty wrapping paper and it's been fun this month to help parents and kids pick out Valentine gifts for classmates. My favorite: this set of heart-shaped crayon rings. A kid can break up the set and tape one to each of his Valentines, and his classmates can trade them for the color they want. Isn't that better than folding fitted sheets?

Drowning in First World Problems

I haven't been posting much lately, or visiting any of your blogs, either. I have been thwarted by a million irritants. You know the kind I mean. To borrow from John McClane in Die Hard, I am dealing with flies in the ointment, monkeys in the wrenches, pains in my ass. 

Let me start by saying nothing is really wrong. I am fine. The cats are fine. My bills are paid. I'm not afraid when the phone rings that it's bad news. I'm just really annoyed and stressed, drowning in the bullshit that overwhelms each of us every now and again.

1.  The laundry room. Like much of the country, Chicagoland was beset by a multi-day stretch of arctic cold. I do not like this, of course, but I prefer subzero to 90º+ and the thing of it is, we can count on both here every year. Along with the freeze came burst pipes. All over Chicagoland, people were without heat or running water because of burst pipes. We were lucky in that the only pipe in our building that broke was in the laundry room. No one's health or immediate comfort was ever threatened.

However, our washers weren't functional. In fact, they stopped working mid-wash and were filled with water and clothes. Our management company could not get anyone to come out here and work on them for weeks because dirty clothes are not a priority, not compared to people who are shivering in their own homes or can't flush.

Finally the plumber came out. YAY! Oh, not so fast. He fixed the pipe and checked to see the washers weren't damaged. But we still can't use the machines because the fitting that connects the washer to the pipe is cracked and needs to be replaced. It's on backorder because of course it is. It was supposed to be here last week ("Thursday or Friday"). It wasn't.

I haven't done laundry in my building since January 5. This month has seen me at the laundromat -- several blocks away -- twice. Twice I have trudged for 15 minutes over muddy streets with my clothes in a shopping cart to wash them in a depressing, expensive ($3 per load to wash and 25¢ for 10 mins. to dry) laundromat. And then trudged another 15 minutes home, trailing my cart behind me.

When will our washers be up and running again? I don't know. Let's consult a Ouija Board. Do you have a Magic 8 Ball handy?

2.  My teeth. Of course. There's always something going on with my teeth! Now specifically it is two molars in the back. I had gold crowns placed on them back when I was working on the Clinton Campaign. That would be Bill Clinton's 1992 Presidential campaign. So they had a nice run and have served me well. But alas, my gums have receded in the past 30 years and allowed a little decay to take hold below the crowns. Will it be a simple procedure to take care of the cavities and replace the crowns with porcelain? Maybe. Or maybe not. Here's the thing: X-rays don't penetrate gold and the dentist has no idea what the condition of the teeth are under all that precious metal. It could be crown lengthening or worse, extractions and implants. And we won't know until I endure a two-hour (2!!) appointment on the 14th. Let's not even contemplate the expense that could be involved in all this. And a Happy Valentine's Day to you, too. 

3. My laptop. My MacBook Air just crapped out Saturday. It wouldn't power on. I tried to do Apple Chat from my phone but I couldn't. When I bought this laptop back in 2020, I did something really stupid. I connected my Apple ID to my work email address. At that time I was thinking if I couldn't get onto my personal laptop, I could contact Apple through my work laptop. Guess what: when Apple tried to confirm my email at my former employer, the messages kept bouncing back. Am I an idiot or what? So I had to haul my laptop downtown to the Michigan Avenue Apple Store Genius Bar, where they could check my ID and my serial number in person and confirm that I am, indeed, me and that this laptop is, indeed, mine. 

The problem was minimal, having to do with the battery and the charger. It was repaired at no cost to me and I was back on the train, riding home, within an hour. But the stress was mighty. I NEED THIS LAPTOP. It's tax time: I have documents on this computer that I want to print out and give my accountant! My banking is on here, too. Not to mention that Blogger is a bitch from my phone. So I am so very, very glad to be speaking to you from my fully functioning MacBook Air.

But this, too, shall pass. As tension-filled as this has all been, none of it is irreversible or unconquerable. I just have to get through it.

Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash

The Girl with the British Dunhill Lighter

I just had the caulk around my tub replaced. It was a rather delicate procedure because I have a tub liner. But now it's done and I'm a happy gal. I love my time in the shower and that black-spotted caulk was a sad way to start the day.

When the handyman was telling me the rules of the road of maintaining the new caulk I could hear my friend Henry's voice in my head. Before his 2018 accident, he loved doing his own work around the house. He knew The Home Depot on Roosevelt in Key West the way I know my local Target store.

He became proficient with bathtubs back in 2001. Sick of renting but not yet able to afford a house, he bought a trailer home. His partner, Reg, was not eager about it. He didn't like the idea of being "trailer trash" and besides, this particular trailer was in disrepair, which is how Henry was able to afford it. So here's where they netted out: They would continue living in the home they were renting until Henry was able to get the trailer "livable," by Reg's standards. Henry was teaching at the community college so his schedule was unconventional. When he wasn't working at school, he'd race over and work a bit on the trailer. 

While this was going on, Reg met a new friend at the hotel where he worked. I'll call her Jane. She was a Brit who had just moved to Key West. The room that she rented wasn't working out. Reg told her about the trailer and said she could stay there until she found a new room. Yes, she knew she'd have Henry hammering around her at all hours. Yes, she'd have to live out of her suitcase. No, she couldn't cook (no stove yet). But she'd have running water, lights and a refrigerator. She had a safe place to lay her air mattress for a couple weeks.

After Henry replaced the grout and caulk around the tub, he left a note on bathroom door, telling Jane not to use the  shower for 48 hours. This was 2001, so texting wasn't yet a thing. But he wrote another note with the same instructions and dropped it off at the hotel where Jane and Reg worked. Henry and Reg discussed it -- Reg would reiterate this to Jane and she could wash her hair and handle her personal hygiene at the bathroom sink for the next day or two. Reg said he was pretty sure if Jane asked housekeeping nicely, they'd let her use a hotel bath before they cleaned the room. So they had a plan. 

Except that, when Henry returned to the trailer the next day, he could tell she had used the shower. Reg pleaded with Henry not to confront her and swore he'd handle it. I don't know how it was resolved. But, by the time I arrived in Key West for New Year's, Henry and Reg were settled into the trailer and Jane had her own place.

It was the holiday season and Jane came by for a drink so I got to meet her. She had an adorable accent and I really wanted to like her. But ...

She had just flown back to Key West from NYC, where she'd spent Christmas with friends. And, oh! How she squawked about airport security! It took forever and they took her expensive lighter away. 

Think back: this was just less than four months after 9/11. She was going to the city where the Twin Towers had fallen. Maybe because she wasn't American, she didn't understand what a heartbreaking violation that was. But I couldn't bear it. After all, I had just flown from O'Hare to Miami to Key West. I'd seen the TSA signs at the airports and at that point, lighters and matches were not allowed. I pointed that out to her.

"But it was a British Dunhill Lighter!" Jane exclaimed. "And I'm not a terrorist." 

I drained my drink and bit my tongue. Reg really liked Jane and I didn't want to make the party tense. 

On the way to my hotel, when we were alone, Henry said he could read my mind. "You think Jane is insensitive and racist." 

"Yes," I admitted. "She's obviously not a terrorist because she's a little white blonde girl and her lighter is expensive." I added that it was immoral for her to give the TSA grief when we were all just trying to find our way in this post-9/11 world.

Henry went on to say that she was "entitled," one of the first times I'd heard the word in this context. He explained that here she was, a barmaid with no home, and he and Reg gave her a safe place to live when she needed one desperately. Even though Henry is highly educated (a professor at the college!), he is also gay and Puerto Rican. Therefore she felt comfortable ignoring his request about the shower.  He told me she probably felt it was similarly beneath her to ask the mostly brown-skinned girls in housekeeping at the hotel for help. Clearly TSA rules applied to others, not to her (or her British Dunhill Lighter).

"In Key West we believe in the human family," he said. "I do not think she will be happy here."

By the end of 2002, when I returned to Key West, she'd left Key West and neither Henry nor Reg knew what became her.

Henry was right. I miss him. So much.

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: In and Out of Love (1967)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Diana Ross is disappointed that she hasn't yet found lasting love. Do you think you can fall out of love? Or do you believe that if you fell out of love, it wasn't true love to begin with? I don't know that I've ever fallen out of love. Relationships have become untenable and had to end. But I have been in love twice, and I still love both men now.

2) When is the last time you literally fell, tripped, or stumbled? I used to fall down a lot. I thought I was just a klutz. Working with a chiropractor, I learned that my spine is curved and so my body is out of whack, very right dominant. Since I've been stretching and getting adjustments, my balance is better and I can't recall the last time I took a tumble.

 
3) This record was a hit with American Bandstand viewers. For weeks it was voted the song they most wanted to dance to. Did you watch American Bandstand? When I was in junior high, I wouldn't miss it. Saturdays at 11:00 AM.

 

4) This is one of the last Supremes songs that featured the most successful hit-making line-up: Diana Ross, Mary Wilson, and Florence Ballard. Florence's great-nephew, Christian Ballard, was a football star at University of Iowa and briefly played pro ball for the Vikings. The 2022-23 NFL season just kicked off. What team do you root for? I am still concentrating on baseball. I don't have the bandwidth to root for a football team.

 

5) Mary had a connection to sports, too. She donated her time and talent to raising money for Figure Skaters of Harlem, an organization that helps young people train for the Winter Olympics.Tell us about a charity you support. Fried's Cat Shelter. It was started in the 1970s by the Frieds, Jewish immigrants who escaped the Nazis by coming to America in 1939. After they retired, they bought an abandoned motel in Michigan City, IN, and turned it into a no-kill shelter for homeless cats. Their time in Germany taught them, "To save a life is more in conformity with God's law than to kill." Every cat who enters Fried's is guaranteed a home for life, whether with an adopter or in loving care at the shelter.

Rescues living their best life at Fried's Cat Shelter

I learned about Fried's from my favorite uncle. He was a Vietnam veteran, and because of his combat experiences, the Fried's story and especially their message about saving lives touched him. Even though he's gone, I still celebrate my uncle's birthday (September 25) and just sent Fried's Cat Shelter a donation in his honor.

6) There's a children's playground in New York's Central Park named for the last surviving member of this trio, Diana Ross. It has swings, slides, a rope bridge, and a fountain that kids are welcome to splash in. If you were suddenly little again, which would you play on first? The swing. No doubt.

 

7) Diana owns an estate in Greenwich, CT, with lush gardens, a tennis court, and a pool. While the grounds are spectacular, she maintains the house itself is "nothing special" because the kitchen hasn't been renovated in more than three decades. Could your kitchen benefit from a makeover? Or are you fine with it as it is? I am fine with it as it is. If I was looking to sell, I'd invest in superficial changes, like new countertops and cabinets. (Let the new owner upgrade the appliances.) But for myself? I don't care.

 
8) In 1967, when this song was popular, the best-selling camera was The Polaroid Swinger. When did you most recently take a photo? What was it of? A Moscow mule. Last Friday the weather was so perfect I celebrated with an outdoor lunch at my favorite restaurant. Just me, the sunshine, good food and a good book. BLISS!

 

9) Random question: Come clean! Are there dirty dishes in your sink right now? There are always dirty dishes in my sink.