Yin and Yang

As a barren spinster, I find married people fascinating. And over the past few weeks, I've had a chance to ruminate about two happy couples. I conclude that there's something to that whole "opposites attract" thing.

Take, for example, Reg and Henry. They have been together close to 25 years, legally married less than one. After weathering many storms -- literal and metaphorical -- they remain very much in love. While Reg appears to be the alpha, since he's the moodier and more blunt of the pair, I know that Henry always gets his way.

They share some very important values, like friendship and their love of animals. But in other ways, they are different, and their reaction to life in Key West after Hurricane Irma illustrates that.

"We're fine!" Henry keeps insisting. Minimal damage to the house -- just a cracked window, and it was double pane anyway, and a fallen tree in the backyard. The generator is humming along. They have food and booze and the car is fine. Some of the bars are even open! Can't wait to see you! C'mon down!

Reg, on the other hand, is hot and dirty. They are flushing their toilet with a bucket and they can't wash their clothes. He's taking military showers, and is brushing his teeth once a day with water he's boiled. To preserve gas, they're cooking whatever they can on the grill, including Spam. And the smells! The fallen tree limbs and vegetation are starting to rot and stink. Tons of seaweed washed far ashore by Irma and there it sits, getting more fragrant by the minute. He can't avoid these odors because all the windows are open -- the AC isn't working. He wants to go back to work, just to escape the smells, and the boredom! No TV, spotty phone reception, no internet. He trusts life will get back to normal some day, but when?

They live in the same house, wake up in the same bed on the same island, and yet their lives sound so different! Yin to yang. Somehow it makes their happy relationship work.

At the memorial service for Barb's husband, much was made of their differences. He fantasized about being a rocker, her favorite musician is Yo-Yo Ma. She went on a safari in Kenya and climbed the Himalayas, he was content to relax every summer by carrying his own canoe along the Chain of Lakes. He ran every morning and avoided fats, she loves rich French food and the only exercise she gets is walking to her car. His drink of choice was whiskey, hers was a good red wine. Yet every night they toasted one another, "TEL." Those three letters were on the inside of their wedding bands. It stood for, "To Everlasting Love."

For them, opposites attracted, fused, and created something very special. Yin to yang.

In all, not bad at all!

I spoke to Henry today! After several rounds of phone tag and texts, we finally connected in real time. I'm so very relieved.

They're fine. The car is fine. The house is fine -- they lost one pane of a double-pane window, and Henry's favorite tree went down, but that's the only damage sustained.

Key West still doesn't have any power, but they have a generator so they aren't suffering. No TV, spotty phone service, no internet. They have running water, but it isn't drinkable. They are happy to home.

The people that I saw receiving emergency aid at Publix were mostly from the trailer parks. Those poor folks, it seems, lost a great deal. But most of the island is, in Henry's new favorite word, "fine."

Some of the bars have reopened. Now that's Key West!

PS But please, Hurricane Maria, give us a break and stay away.

Word finally came in!

Thursday night, while I was in the stands at Wrigley Field, I got a text. FROM HENRY! It says (typos corrected):

Phones still not working right but we are okay. Minimum damage to the house. Tree's gone.

That's really I know about their situation in Key West. But it's enough. It's plenty, in fact. So much better than I was dreading. We missed each other again today, probably because the phones are so hit-or-miss. But it's "okay."

I also got a long IM from my aunt, who has returned to their home outside of Tampa, gave me a brief overview of the what Hurricane Irma did to their property, and then a long and angry update about an upcoming family wedding. So that's good. Not that she's pissed about the wedding, but I look at it this way: if she can be that angry about the way her son is treating her, than she can't be that upset about the damage to their sea wall.

Gratefully,

 

It hurts to think about

I still haven't heard another peep from Henry and Reg, other than they're "fine."And don't get me wrong -- I'm beyond grateful that they made it through Irma. I feel blessed that their love and support is still out there somewhere.

But tonight I saw a shocking sight. News footage of an Army helicopter landing at the "Sears Town" Publix and troops distributing bottled water and emergency meal rations to the Key West residents. There's no food, no running water, no electricity. The island is so isolated, there's no way to reach it by the highway and as of today (Wednesday), the port is still closed. I didn't see Henry or Reg in line for handouts, but that's not really a comfort. It could just mean they didn't have a running car to get to the shopping center. Without electricity, gas can't be pumped into cars.

At dusk on a better day

I know that Publix store. It's usually our first stop after Henry picks me up at the airport. I get my Coke and apple or orange juice to stock my little hotel frig or ice bucket. As we walk the aisles, I tell him anecdotes about my flights and the harrowing adventures I had changing planes in Tampa or Ft. Lauderdale. He tells me what kind of mood Reg is in, and how much time they both have been able to get off work so that we can all spend time together during my visit. We have done this at least 18 times.

I know it sounds mundane, just grabbing something cool to drink and checking out through the "10 items or less" line. These are memories I didn't even know I had, much less cherish.

But tonight, I long to wander those aisles under fluorescent lights, talking about the minutiae of our lives. I don't want to think of those guys hot, hungry, dehydrated and suffering.

I can't wait to be looking back on these helpless, frustrating days.

When the going gets tough, the tough go to the movies

I have always been afraid of clowns. The summer when I was 7, I saw The Greatest Show on Earth. A doctor is unjustly accused of killing his wife and avoids prosecution by escaping and joining the circus. He always wears his clown makeup so he won't be recognized and taken back into custody. I entirely missed the "unjustly accused" detail and was terrified of his pointy "I-killed-my-wife" smile. (BTW, I may be the only person in the world who grew up afraid of Jimmy Stewart.)

And so, on Sunday, I went to see IT. Stephen King's Pennywise is the ultimate in clown horror. I didn't misunderstand Pennywise. I got it, loud and clear, when said he liked scaring children before he eats them because fear makes them taste better. He's a voracious, sadistic bastard who is aided and abetted by adults, who either ignore their children or terrorize them in their own way.

I was frightened about my friends in Key West. I tried to watch baseball, but my darling Cubbies were losing ... and to the BREWERS in these all-important late season games. I needed to thoroughly distract myself from real life. And damn, if Pennywise didn't do it for me.

Sunday, terror was my mental sorbet. And I'm grateful.

Four little letters: F-I-N-E

My friends, Henry and Reg, are, in a word, "fine." Have you ever heard a more glorious word?

Instead of evacuating Key West, they rode out Hurricane Irma. They've been incommunicado since Friday night. I can't begin to describe what a frightening and anxious four days I've had.

Somehow today, Reg got word to his father in Maine that he and Henry are "fine." Dad told Reg's sister, who posted it on Facebook. I spread the word to Henry's friend, Katie.

I'm worried about those guys, of course. I can't imagine what their lives are like. Few passable roads and bridges. No power. No gas. No fresh water. I just heard that electricity isn't expected to be restored to Key West until the 22nd, a week from Friday.

Is their house OK? What about their car? And the dogs? Do they have enough food? Are they able to wash and brush their teeth and flush? I mean, it's hot and humid down there!

Right now, all I have are those four letters: F-I-N-E.

It's a relief, but it's not enough.

The Round Up

So much is going on with my friends and loved ones! So little of it is good!

My oldest friend is battling depression big time this week. She was told that, on October 9, she will be unemployed. The doctors she works for have sold the practice to a Catholic, not-for-profit healthcare service. Ironically, this company that prides itself on providing affordable healthcare to those in need, has told her that the job she needs so badly has been eliminated in the merger. So now, at age 61, with little money in the bank and a litany of health problems, she's starting over ... again. This is the fourth (fifth?) job she's had since she's moved to California. She only left one of her own volition. She's bereft. Unfortunately, I really can't be there for her right now. I'm too keyed up about Hurricane Irma. Besides, I tried to call her right after she shared the news and she didn't bother to pick up. When she gets like this -- when she doesn't want to talk, just wants to pour her feelings out in email after email -- there's little I can do for her. I love her, I depend on her, I worry about her. But I know her. She doesn't want to hear from me. She just wants to know I'm here.

My cousin and aunt are fine. Not happy, but fine. Though they don't know each other -- different sides of the family -- they both happen to live outside Tampa. Cousin Rose is headed for Birmingham with her sister. My aunt, her husband and their big poodle are may already be in Macon. I'm worried about what they will return to after Irma, but at least I know they are safe right now.

My friend Barb has more worries. Yes, she just lost the love of her life to cancer. Yes, she is pre-occupied with planning his memorial service. Yes, she has serious health problems of her own. And yes, the beautiful new home they built -- from scratch, to spec, over the space of more than a year -- is in the path of Hurricane Irma. Hilton Head, SC, has been evacuated. I tell myself this may be a blessing. If God and Mother Nature take her house out, then she doesn't have to decide whether or not she wants to live in it without her beloved husband.

The Cubs lost to the Brewers this evening. At any other time, that would be the lead story of my Friday. Now the Brewers and the Cardinals are tied for second place, four games behind us. This late in the season, I would prefer a bigger lead. I don't expect another World Series, but I would like my champions in blue to make a showing in the play-offs. Also, John Lackey got the loss. Since I have decided to be John Lacky's fan -- I've seen no fans in Lackey jerseys, ever -- I take this very personally.

Good News! My nephew started his first job today! He went through orientation at McDonald's and will work his first shift on Sunday.

"We are leaving it to Irma and Geico"

I texted with my friend Henry all day today and spoke to him tonight. He was really quite cheerful and very busy, preparing to ride out Irma.

He and Reg cleaned out the garage and to make room for their patio furniture and potted plants. They are taking care of the car that runs, the hybrid. But as for the one that doesn't run, the one Reg really, really is going to find parts for someday, "We are leaving it to Irma and Geico."

They set up the generator. I didn't quite understand what he told me he decided to do with the big tree near the back porch. I know he loves that tree, but sometimes his Puerto Rican accent comes between me and comprehension.

Then, Friday evening, he let me know that they relocated, after all. At first I was relieved, now less so. For, while they have their three-story townhouse* farther inland ("inland" being a relative term when you're talking about a small island), they have taken refuge in a big (for Key West) house nearer the ocean. Henry says this house is "sturdier" their wood A-frame. He is more worried about wind than water. The noises here, he believes, be less terrifying to Reg, who is just more naturally afraid of hurricanes.

"We are en suite," he happily reported. They are sharing this 6BR, 3BA with (I think) three other couples. Since they were last to arrive -- and came with three dogs -- they were put in what would, at other times, be the best room in the house but for Irma is the least desirable. They're in the master bedroom on the ground floor in the back. But they have their own bathroom, and this makes him happy, since he assumes they will be there for two nights.

Yes, he thinks he and Reg will pack up "the fur babies" and drive home on Sunday afternoon.

He barely knows the couple who took him, Reg and the dogs in now, at the last minute. The man is the ex-husband of Henry's friend, Sherry. The divorce was decades ago and, apparently, amicable -- perhaps because Sherry left him because she wanted to live as a lesbian, the truest manifestation of "it's not you, it's me" I've ever heard. Anyway, that's Key West at it's best. "You're scared? You need room for a night, or a week? C'mon in, and bring your dogs."

In the meantime, I am sick with worry. I wish it was Sunday night, and I was journaling here about how safe my friends are.
 

*The ground floor is the garage.

No friend of mine!

The 2017 hurricanes have such benign names: Harvey and Irma have arrived and Jose is on the way. And I've come to fear and loathe those names.

My friends in Key West have chosen to ride out Irma. I believe this is very unwise and I'm sick with worry.

Their motivation is financial. Henry insists that they are still making their honeymoon trip to see his family in Puerto Rico on the 14th* and doesn't want to "waste" money on motels and dining out. When I pointed out at that it would only be for a night or two, he argued that's not the case -- once you leave the island during an evacuation, the authorities decide when you can return. He's afraid it could be weeks, and that would result in big bills.

I countered that insurance would reimburse him, but he argued that would take months. He really misses his mother and needs to see her. Between the hurricane causing damage to his hometown in Puerto Rico and her advanced age, he feels real urgency about being with her.

I mentioned to him that I he was being crappy, to me. After all, I'm worried about Barb, whose husband just died. I'm worried about my aunt and cousin, both of whom live in Tampa and have fled the storm. I am worried about my oldest friend. I am worried about my own finances. I don't need this additional patina of worry.

He apologized, but said his mind was made up. I could hear his husband Reg in the background, not especially amused or sanguine about riding out a Category 4 storm with a generator, Spam and wine. I figured if Reg can't convince him, I certainly can't.

And so now I worry and pray. These guys are closer to me than family, and I love them very much.

* I have no confidence that the airports in Miami and Puerto Rico will be operating on the 14th, but Henry believes.