I was sick on Sunday night and Monday. Really sick. Sweats and nausea. Headache and cramps. It was vile.
And, since we are busy at work and I couldn't afford the time off, I went in at 3:00 and shepherded a project through for a Tuesday afternoon presentation, which I aced even though I was fortified only by saltines and gingerale.
I have felt better each day and my rapid recovery has lifted my spirits enormously. I'm not saying I'm a hero, but within the parameters of my life, this has been a big deal. A very big deal.
On Monday afternoon I felt weepy and called my oldest friend. She has worked with doctors for decades and has a medical background herself. I initially wanted to know if I should continue taking my prescription meds or if they would be too trying for my poor gut. When she didn't pick up, I left a long, rambling, weepy voicemail about how I don't care about anything or anyone anymore because I'm so sick and feel so lousy, and please call and tell me what to do about my meds.
That was Monday at about 3:00 (1:00 her time). I still haven't heard back from her. This hurts me.
I have worked very hard to be there for her and honor the decades we have known each other.
I know she is struggling these days and my heart goes out to her. I just wish that, when my heart goes out to her, she'd be a little more gentle with it.
I don't know what to do. My instinct is to call and tell her how hurt I am, but I suspect she won't pick up and that really hurts more. She's not working, on physical therapy, and could certainly find some time to call me back. I'm also afraid that if I do that, I'll find out that something else is wrong. My oldest friend has that kind of life -- shit happens to her.
And then, somehow, the call about how hurt I am will turn around and become a call about how much more trouble she's having. Which will, in turn, hurt and frustrate me.
Oh, well. Maybe I just have to grow up. This is how she is, how she has been for years. I have to accept and love her as she is and try to get over all this, "I me me mine" that I'm spewing in this post.
(Ouch! I'm still not well enough to use the word "spew" without wincing.)
Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
My best friend's birthday is next month and his gift is already complete! First I got him a pewter horse shoe during my trip to Colonial Williamsburg, and today his pewter pine cone arrived. Over the years I have given him a four-leaf clover, an acorn and a turtle for luck and he's been very good about carrying them with him. This year, to mark his landmark 45th birthday, I got him TWO more lucky charms.
