WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Lincoln's Last Trial by Dan Abrams. I was going to read this during covid lockdown. While I went through 47 books in 2021, this was not among them. I'm not sure why, but now Dan and Abe get their moment with me.

 

Dan Abrams does this: he chooses long-past trials with well-known lawyers or litigants and weaves them into easy-to-follow tales, relying as much on court transcripts as the recollections of participants. Since these books focus more on the trials than the crimes themselves, we're left to decide whether justice was done.

 

This time Mr. Lincoln takes center stage. He was well on his way to becoming a national figure when he chose to defend a Springfield boy named Peachy Quinn, accused of killing Greek Crafton, another Springfield native. Both were known to Lincoln and, in fact, to most folks in town. Springfield was divided. Either Peachy was unjustly accused of murder when he was just defending himself against a much larger man, or Greek had been viciously slashed by a man who could easily have just walked away but instead brandished a weapon.

 

Yeah, I know how this ends. What I'm enjoying is the journey this book is taking me on. I've been to Springfield many times and have visited the Lincoln-Herndon Law Office. I've walked where Abe walked, from his office to the courthouse, or home, or to the Globe Tavern.

 

Abrams and his co-author Fisher are showing me Abe as he ends one chapter of his life and gets ready to embark on another. It's emotionally resonant because as I go through this story I know something Abe doesn't – he is about to leave Springfield and the law forever and he has only 7 years to live. I'm looking at a man on the brink of immortality, and I'm fascinated by how his mind works.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading?  In Pieces by Sally Field. This book was not at all what I expected. Not at all! (Even though Country Dew tried to warn me.) Yes, she covers off on her major roles and I enjoyed those parts. Her romance with Burt Reynolds gets a lot of space, too. But mostly this book is about her family – the one she was born into and the one she created. She's an actor, a dedicated one and her craft/passion saved her life, but she's also a daughter, a sister, a mother and a granddaughter.

 

There is little joy in this book because Sally Field had a far more complicated life than I realized. It's not an easy read. But it's well written and authentic and it touched me. Sally's relationship with her mother reminded me so much of my mom and me that it was disturbing.

 

I recommend this book because it had an impact on me. But be warned.

3. What will you read next? Dear Debbie by Freida McFadden. It's time for some chills and thrills.

 

  

 

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Kung Fu Fighting (1974)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Have you ever taken a martial arts class? Nope. Interestingly, though, my two most serious relationships were with devotees. One was a brown belt, the other made it to a lower stripe of black. The brown belt bragged about his expertise more than the one who was more successful. I didn't even know he was a black belt until I found some of his trophies in the laundry room while I was looking for dryer sheets. I think there's a lesson in there somewhere.

2) In this song, Carl Edwards sings about funky Chinatown. Many cities – including San Francisco, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Vancouver, London and Antwerp – have a Chinatown. Have you ever visited Chinatown? Not in decades. My favorite uncle used to take me every summer when I was a kid, but I haven't gone back on my own. My late friend John and I were "gonna go" since he and I had each separately made friends with deep ties to the Chinatown community and it might be fun to arrange a visit for the four of us. But as often with me and John, we'd start to make plans and abandon them when they seemed too complicated. What if my friend and his friend don't like each other? John and I were retired but our friends weren't, so would we have to go on a Saturday when it's busy? You do realize it's an extra bus ride, don't you? John and I shared both laziness and a fondness for just hanging out together, blabbing and drinking and arguing over whether to order entrees or just split a couple appetizers. I miss those lazy evenings terribly.

 

The gate that welcomes visitors to Chicago's Chinatown

3) Many Chinese restaurants give out fortune cookies. Can you recall one of your fortunes? I seldom get fortunes about my future. I get proverbs, like "an inch of time is an inch of gold."

4) This week's featured artist, Carl Edwards, was born in Jamaica, spent his childhood in the US, and relocated to England. Have you ever lived abroad? Nope.

5) In 1974 he became the first Jamaican to have a #1 hit in the US with this song. Have you been to Jamaica? Nope.

6) When this week's song was on the charts, ABC TV had a hit with the show Kung Fu. Today it's available to stream. Were you a fan? Nope.

7) Also in 1974, the FIFA World Cup was played in West Germany. Have you been following the FIFA World Cup this year? Nope. I'm not especially fascinating today, am I?

8) Two of 1974's most popular toys were popular with adults, too. Would you prefer a Rubik's Cube or a Magic 8 Ball? Magic 8 Ball.

9) Random question: Have you ever cut someone else's hair? Nope.

 

 

It's getting deep

I pay little attention to Zohran Mamdani. The nice thing about being this old is that I know that, no matter what, the Mayor of New York will not have a major impact on my life here in Chicago. When I was a little girl, John Lindsay was all the rage. Batman even featured a character based on him. Remember when Bloomberg and Giuliani were going to be President? It was all much ado about nothing.

No mayor of any major city has ever become President. In fact, no mayor has been President since Coolidge, and he held higher office before ascending to the Presidency. Not that Mamdani could be President anyway. I know my Constitution.

So why is my aunt obsessed with Mamdani? She lives in a small town outside of Tampa, for fuck's sake. He has no power over her. Yet she follows his public statements so she can share her outrage.

It's because he's Muslim. "Can you believe that New York City elected a Muslim?" She posted those very words, with pictures of the World Trade Center. How ridiculous is that? Mamdani was 10 years old in 2001. By the way, Muhammad Ali was a Muslim. Was he involved in 9/11, too?

Now her Facebook feed is abuzz because Mamdani had the temerity to ask New Yorkers to use power wisely.

  

Notice that was a request. It's not like masked agents would be knocking on doors demanding to see your thermostat. (As opposed to the ICE agents who ... don't get me started. You have no idea how ugly, dispiriting and scary it was here.)

And it sounds like commonsense to me. Preserves the grid, makes sure we all have comfort during a heatwave. Here in Chicago, ComEd pays us to do that. During peak times, if we reduce our consumption we get a break on our bills. (I saved $3.00 last week.)

But according to my aunt, Mamdani is Communist who is placing an unreasonable burden on his citizens. "This is how it starts," she says. Her friends agree. Creeping Socialism in on the way! (Wait, weren't we talking about Communism? Oh, never mind.)

My aunt is grateful that she lives in The Land of the Free – Florida! Where Ron Desantis is governor!  She seems blissfully unaware that just weeks before, the Florida Public Service Commission — chosen by and answering to Gov. DeSantis — issued the very same suggestion that residents to set their AC units to 78º degrees in the summer.

If I were to ask her, I'm sure that she'd say "Ron" (whom she adores) is civic minded. He's looking out for the people who elected him.

Don't you agree we're about hip deep in bullshit and hypocrisy?

She's my aunt. She's one of two people left on the planet who held me as a baby. She's my last direct tie to the grandparents I adored. I respect and treasure that connection, so I bite my tongue and keep the lines of communication open.

But here's the most disturbing part. She's my godmother. When I was downstairs in Sunday School in the church basement, learning about Jesus and His love, she was upstairs in a pew. Same building. Same Jesus. When I was a little girl, I remember she had a framed photo of JFK in her bedroom. But now she seems to get satisfaction not from brotherhood but from knee-jerk negativity about Muslims, gays, blacks, and immigrants. 

While my aunt's rants gets lots of "thumbs up" from her Tampa buds on Facebook, she no longer hears from one of her sons and two of her grandchildren. She has a great grandchild she has never held. If it wasn't for me, she'd never have seen a photo of my niece's daughter, Violet.

I hope living in a Fox News bubble and spouting the glories of living in "The Land of the Free – Florida" is worth what it's cost her.

 

 

Oh, Gal, SHUT UP!

From the day I became verbal to the day he died, my dad knew how to press my buttons. (It must be said it was mutual.) One thing he did that especially set me off was to make self-evident comments as though they were proclamations. Example: Instead of telling me not to jump on the sofa, he would pedantically announce, "This is a living room, not a jungle gym." To this day, that brand of condescension brings out the worst in me and makes me want to respond as if I were the author of Mad's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions. 

But now I'm nearly 70, not 7. I should have matured and moved past this. Yet I have not.

Tuesday I requested Christmas week off from the card shop. I thought I was being swell, giving the store manager more than six months to plan around me. Plus, it isn't even a full five days off. I am never available to work on Tuesdays and Christmas Day is Thursday and the store is closed, so we're really only talking three days: Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Also, it must be noted that I don't get paid for time off. It costs no one anything when I take myself off the calendar.

I was shocked when it came back on Wednesday "DENIED."  

I was certain it was a mistake and brought it up to my manager on Thursday. It was no mistake. She told me that her boss, Eric, has "blacked out" that week and told her she cannot approve any vacation time.

It took me a moment to absorb this. "But I will not be here that week. I will be in Michigan." 

I could tell she was parroting back exactly what Eric had said to her: "This is our busiest week and it's all hands on deck. No vacation requests are going to be approved. This is retail."

This is retail? Really? I thought we were hanging drywall.

This is retail? Really? I thought this was a Christmas Carol and I'm Bob Cratchit. 

I did not say any of this. But it was bubbling oh-so-close to my lips. Instead I said, "Well, I'm physically not going to be here that week, and now we know what to expect of each other." We left it at that.

What is likely to happen is that she won't schedule me. After all, we're talking about three days and many of the other girls want more hours, not less. If she does schedule me – and I hope she gives us enough notice – I'll just ask one of the others girls to take my shift. 

Or I will quit, and quit with a clear conscience. Because she knowingly scheduled me when she knew I was going to be away on Christmas with my family. 

At any rate, I'm glad I bit my tongue. She does not want to deal with this. I could tell her life would be easier if she could approve my time-off request. But this is her job and she's doing what she has to do to please her boss.

Sometimes, shutting up is the better part of valor. 

 

Photo by Fotos on Unsplash 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Accidentally in Love (2004)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In the video for this song, a young man dances alone in the kitchen while making breakfast for his lady love. When no one's looking, do you often bust a move? It has been known to happen. But I am an awful dancer.

2) "Accidentally in Love" was featured in the animated movie Shrek 2.  In this video, a plushie from the movie is shown on their bed. Do you have any plush toys in your bedroom? There's a bear on either side of the dresser, beside the mirror. One is beige and he wears a yellow shirt that says, "Someone at FKCC loves me." That bear was a gift from my late friend Henry, who was a professor at Florida Keys Community College. The other is a green Beanie Baby that says, "Give Peas a Chance." It was a gift from my Mom because of the nod to John Lennon. I miss them both, but I was lucky to have their love in my life. 

3) The lyrics liken falling in love to strawberry ice cream that he just can't resist. What sweet treat would hit the spot right now? There's a brownie in the kitchen that is not going to last much longer.

4) He sings about lightening. Astraphobia is the fear of thunderstorms. Have you ever suffered from astraphobia? Nope.

5) This song is about falling in love when he wasn't looking for it. Has this ever happened to you? Or have you usually found romance while actively seeking a partner (dating sites, blind dates, etc.)? I have always just let love find me. Maybe that's why I'm so bad at romance. Perhaps I should have put more work and planning into it.

 6) This week's artists, The Counting Crows, got their start in San Francisco. A famous quote, often attributed to Mark Twain, says, "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." How has the summer weather been where you are? Last week was pretty rough – storms, high winds, high humidity. It left me grumpy.

7) In 2004, when this song was popular, Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook. Have you checked Facebook today? Yes.

8) Also in 2004, we lost President Ronald Reagan. Before entering politics, he had a decades-long career in Hollywood and appeared in 53 films. Have you ever seen a Ronald Reagan movie? I've seen four. He was good in this one, where he played the most popular but also the wildest young man in a small town. There's another one, Juke Girl, also with Ann Sheridan, where he's effective, as well. Reagan and Sheridan were quite the romantic duo. As I answer this question, it occurs to me that Republicans are the ones who complain about "Hollywood" types getting involved in politics but they're also the ones who elected a movie actor and a reality TV star to the nation's highest office. I suspect it isn't that they don't want to hear from celebrities when it comes to politics, it's that they just don't want to hear from anyone who disagrees with them.

9) Random question: Describe your favorite pajamas. It's an oversized bright yellowy-orange (or orangey-yellow?) t-shirt that was a gift from my friend Henry. It's very soft.

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: For You (1963)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Rick Nelson tells us he'd give his girl the stars from sky or a string of pearls. Have you more recently given or received a gift? What was it? June 3 was the first birthday of my great niece, Violet. I sent her a package of gifts and got a pair of adorable photos in return. Violet didn't care much about the clothes, but she liked the board book and was so cute as she shared it with the family cat. It made her happy that her feline buddy likes to lie on it. (If you have a cat, you can imagine this scenario.)

2) By the time this record was released, Rick was already a show business veteran. He had been a regular on his family's sitcom, The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, since it began airing on radio when he was just 8. Most of us weren't child performers but many of us had chores around the house. When you were young, did your parents give you an allowance? Yes, but I remember little about money in those days. It just wasn't a serious concern for me. Now when my allowance stopped and I had to get by on my babysitting money, THAT I remember!

3) The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet moved to TV, where fans saw Rick grow into a teen who drove a 1932 Roadster. The car really belonged to Tony La Masa, who collected classic cars and rented them out to TV and movie producers. Have you ever earned or raised money with your hobby? No.

4) Paul McCartney has called Rick Nelson an "underrated singer who could really carry a song" and said Rick was one of his influences. Who do you believe you have influenced, professionally or personally? My twenty-something nephew. It's no accident that he's a progressive Democrat, a major Chicago Cub fan, and his favorite song is "Rosalita" by Bruce Springsteen. It quite humbling that he has paid so much attention to me. I consider myself fortunate that he still enjoys spending time with me.

 

5)  This week's song was already an oldie by the time Rick performed it. "For You" was recorded the first time by Casa Loma Orchestra in 1933. In those days, most records were 78 rpm discs, thick and usually only able to hold 3 to 5 minutes of sound per side. Most record companies stopped producing them in the 1950s. Have you ever seen a "78?" I'm not sure. I do remember that my early record players allowed me to play discs at three speeds: 33-45-78. It was fun to play records at 78 and hear everyone sound like Alvin and The Chipmunks.

 

 

6) The lyrics to "For You" were written by Al Dubin. After Al left college he supported himself as a singing waiter. That's really two jobs in one. Which would you do better at: singer or server? If those are my only two choices, I'm afraid I'll starve.

 

7) The music was written by Joe Burke, whose last hit song was "Rambling Rose," recorded in 1948 by Perry Como. Have you ever heard of Perry Como? Yes. He seemed quite irrelevant to me when I was a kid, but when my baby sister (born in 1966) was a toddler she saw him on commercials for his holiday special, and then on the show itself, and loved him so much she named her plush mouse Como. This cracked me up. As a pre-schooler, I believe she was Perry Como's youngest fan.


8) In 1963, when Ricky's recording was on the charts, the Zip Code was introduced. How many different Zips have you lived in? Four.

 
9) Random question: When you were in high school, were you taller or shorter than your classmates? Or were you the average height? I've always been one of the shortest. I was a shade under 5'2 when I reached my full height. I believe I'm barely over 5' now.

 

 

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Mystical Magical (2025)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

Do you think Benson Boone and Timothee Chalamat look alike? Or have I just become one of those old ladies who thinks everyone 30 and under looks alike? 

T. C.

B. B.

1) This week's song is about a new love affair, and Benson Boone bounces between frustration and optimism when he thinks about it. Does anything inspire your mixed emotions these days? My new TV. I will be happy to have a bigger, better picture, but I am dreading the setting up. I am not tech savvy, so I know that will be a struggle.

2) The lyrics mention "moonbeam ice cream," which is something Benson just made up. Last summer, when this week's song became popular, ice cream shops were inspired to create flavors with that name. What's your favorite ice cream flavor, and will you take that in a cup or cone? Mint chocolate chip in a cup, please.

 

3) He sings that "once you know" about a love like this, "you know." Tell us about something you had to experience to fully understand. Romantic love. I've found that it was a little different each time.

 

4) He composed this song at the piano. Do you play piano? No.

5) He first sang in public at a high school talent show, which he only entered on a dare. Can you recall any dares from your junior high or high school days? Oh, yes! When I was in high school, I jumped into a friend's pool as part of a slumber party game of Truth or Dare. It was pre-dawn and late September. Her family hadn't drained the pool yet but had stopped all maintenance. It was very cold and really filthy. I still remember seeing leaves and plants before my eyes as I rose to the surface. By the time I got home, my pajamas were dry and I just threw them in my family clothes hamper. When my mom did laundry a couple days later, she was furious with me because my pajamas were streaked in green and she couldn't get the stains out. "What did you do?" I got an earful about how dangerous it was to swim in dirty water in the dark, how wasteful I was to ruin my perfectly good pajamas, how dumb I was to take a dare ...

6) Benson was a good high school athlete and competed in diving at the state level. Can you execute a dive off the diving board? I could once. I haven't tried in decades. I am still a pretty good swimmer, though

7) When he was 18, Boone auditioned for American Idol. What were you up to when you were 18? Saving as much money as possible. I had a chance to go to Europe if I could afford it, and I wanted to move out and into my own apartment desperately. Consequently I lived like I'd taken a vow of poverty. 

  

8) Benson has a dog named Max. He's not alone in this. "Max" is one of the most popular pet names in the US today. Have you ever known anyone (furry or otherwise) named Max? Only my friend Barb's dog. He was a feisty little terrier.

 

9) Random question: If we knocked on your door on one of your lazy, stay-at-home days, what would we likely find you wearing? T-shirt and jeans. Always.

 

 

Still in his caterpillar phase

Spent some time with my nephew this weekend. So much has been going on with him and it was good for me to get some clarity. I'm worried about him, because worry is my comfort zone. But I think what he's going through needs to happen. He's got to experience all this to come through on the other side.

His career is not working out as he'd hoped. In April, a competing baseball website approached him and he took an interview. He was flattered and he was considering it. Then the unexpected happened: his current boss let him go. He didn't realize how much he loved his job until he lost it.

Fortunately, the competitive baseball website snapped him up. But here's the thing: they assign him articles. At the job he loved, he wrote any baseball story he wished, as long as it was ready post on deadline. He's not crazy about the restrictions but you know what? That's what being a writer for hire is all about. It's time he learned that. (News flash: I didn't choose to write a post explaining the difference between a transmission flush and a transmission fluid exchange. It was an assignment and I got paid. That's how it works.) 

Also, neither his old job nor his new one actually employed him. No insurance. No 401k. No paid time off. He's in his mid-20s now and still in his childhood bedroom. He jokes that his car is older than he is, and it is. 

He's in love with Bobbie. I met her, and she's lovely. But she's a little older and divorced. I can tell that he's seeing his life through her eyes and now it looks different. 

So he's revisiting an old ambition: to become a teacher. With his degree in political science, he thinks he'd be good at American history.* I think with his chill demeanor, he'd be good with younger kids.

He's still in the exploration phase. It's going to be hard for him to pull the trigger and actually make the career switch. His original baseball writing job made him so happy. But even when the going was good, it didn't pay well, and the economic realities of independent media mean even more belt tightening on the part of employers.

I asked Bobbie what attracted her to him. She said his "authenticity." I can see her influence in this. He was once sincerely attracted to teaching. It's more stable and financially rewarding than baseball writing and it appeals to him more than general-assignment journalism (as opposed to writing exclusively about baseball).

I love him and am sorry he's hit this bump in the road. On the other hand, I love him and want him to transition through this so he can embark on the next phase of his life and career.

 

*Are you still reading, Kwiz? What do you think?

Photo by Erik Karits on Unsplash
 

Walking and talking

My niece sent me the most enchanting video! It was a two-fer: 

1) This was the first time I saw Violet walking. She pulled herself up to standing and then stumbled, gracelessly but purposefully, from the sofa to the chair where her mother was sitting and taping her.

2) Violet is also definitely talking. She said "hi" to the camera! My niece reports that her other word is "baby," spoken when she sees a picture of a baby or when she just feels like saying it.

And to think I was worried! She was so tiny, such a preemie, that I was concerned she'd never catch up. But here she is, weeks before her first birthday, and walking and talking a little ahead of schedule. 

Her first birthday is June 3, but unfortunately I can't make her party. Her grandparents – my niece's in-laws – were nice enough to include me. But my Connie Cat's veterinary adventures were just too expensive, and airfares are too high at the moment, for me to make the trip now. I have a little travel fund set aside for visiting Violet and it has $400 in it, which is just not enough, and until I pay down that Discover card bill, I have to stay put. Maybe the larder will be full enough in the fall.

By Tea Collection

But that doesn't mean I can't shop! I know she is going to the beach this summer, and now she'll dazzle in this little sunsuit. Because the shoulder straps are adjustable and the leg holes elastic, it should take her throughout the summer. I also found her a pair of yellow and pink barrettes to complete the ensemble (though to be honest, she doesn't really have enough hair to need them).

I picked up a souvenir when I was at the TCM Film Festival. It's a little black shirt with HOLLYWOOD in bright pink letters. Violet seems drawn to bold colors, so I think she'll like it.

Everybody reads to Violet, all the time, so I also got her a book. I chose this one because I like the message and because the cover illustration appears toward the end of the book. We know Violet is paying attention at story time because she gets excited when she sees the cover illustration inside on one of the pages.

Yes, you're right, she is brilliant. We are so lucky to have her in our lives.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Fun, Fun, Fun (1964)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a girl who borrows her father's Ford Thunderbird. When is the last time you drove someone else's car? It was my cousin Rosemary's car. We were on a highway headed to Florida for a trip to Disneyworld. This man was President. (I was a terrible driver and don't do it at all today.)

2) The teen in question is well known for ability to drive "like an ace." If we were to ask your high school classmates what they remember most about you, what do you think they'd say? Nerd.

3) She told her father she needed the car to go to the library but used it instead to meet friends. Can you recall a time your parents caught you in a fib? Yes. I was in junior high and went to a party at Nancy's house. Nancy's parents weren't home and I knew I shouldn't stay. My mom was very strict about unsupervised parties. Anyway, I was too embarrassed to leave. When I got home, my mom asked me about Nancy's mom and I made up an elaborate tale about her hair and her bathing cap (Nancy's family had a pool). My mom ran into Nancy's mom at the grocery store a day or two later. Such is life in a small town. Being caught in the lie was mortifying.

4) For this girl and her friends, fun centered on cars and fast food. What did you and your friends do for fun during your teen years? The mall! Every Tuesday, Korvette's (the big department store) ran an ad that announced which record label was on sale that week. We'd spend days deciding which albums we'd snag for just $5 each and then on Saturday afternoon we'd take the bus over. In addition to Korvette's, we'd stop at either Orange Julius or McDonald's and maybe the movie theater. We saw the same movies over and over (The Sting, The Way We Were and Cabaret stand out in my memory). The mall is still there, but many of the smaller shops stand empty. The movie theater is now a Best Buy and Korvette's is Kohl's. 

5) Legend has it songwriters Brian Wilson and Mike Love got the idea for this song from a Salt Lake City disc jockey. He told them he'd lent his T-bird to his daughter so she could go to class at the community college but discovered her deception when the car was ticketed in front of a fast food restaurant. Can you think of another song inspired by true events? Abraham, Martin and John.

 
6) As in the song, the disc jockey punished his daughter by taking her driving privileges away. Were your parents strict when you were growing up? Not really. But they didn't need to be, either. The hijinks in #3 were about as naughty as I got.

7) This song was recorded on January 1, 1964. The Beach Boys had to work on the holiday because they were under pressure to meet a February release date. How did you spend New Year's Day 2026? I don't recall, but I bet I stayed in my pajamas all day.

 
8) 1964 was a great year for Capitol Records. They had chart-topping hits by the Beach Boys, Barbra Streisand and, most spectacularly, The Beatles. The Capitol Records Building in Los Angeles is considered iconic and it's a stop on tourist bus tours. Have you ever been to Southern California? If yes, what did you do? I just got back from Hollywood! I was there for the TCM Classic Film Festival and the movies kept me very busy. But I saw the Hollywood sign and the hand and footprints at the TCL Chinese Theater.

 

 
9) Random question: What's the last compliment you received? The aesthetician marveled at my unlined skin. Of course, I've been seeing her twice a month since February, so I'm not sure if she was complimenting me or herself.

 

April 22 – Gratitude Challenge

 

 

I am joining Kwizgiver in this. That's even her graphic I stole! In her words, "This isn't about perfection or keeping a streak. It’s just about noticing." I need to focus and, in using my shrink's word, "unhook." 

 

The Prompt: Share a book you are currently grateful for.

 

One Perfect Couple by Ruth Ware. I read this book last summer, but I'm grateful for it now because I just dropped it in the mail to my aunt for her birthday. This thriller, which is about a killer who is picking off the contestants on a reality show, is right up her alley. It makes me happy to think of my auntie being carried away by the plot.

 

 

Sunday Stealing

More Questions from Steph

1) Are you the sort of person who can nap or sleep anywhere, any time? I suppose. I have an easier time falling asleep now than I ever have in my life. I think I'm finally (after three years) getting the hang of of retirement.

 

2) Have you ever walked in your sleep? I was quite the sleepwalker when I was a little girl. I was good at unlocking doors while sound asleep. My mom was completely freaked out about this and dragged me to the family doctor, a man she trusted implicitly. He didn't recommend counseling or a change in diet. He prescribed phenobarbital. Yes, a barbiturate for a seven year old! I don't blame my mom – she was doing the best she could with the information she had. But there I was, a second grader, on my way to The Valley of the Dolls.

 

3) Do you chat with your Uber/Lyft/taxi driver? Yes. I find it awkward to ride in silence.

4) Do you remember what you did on Valentine's Day? Not specifically. But I know it wasn't romantic.

 

5) How many laptops have you owned over your lifetime? 5 or 6 (<< estimate).

 

6) How many countries have you visited? 5 (Canada, France, Lichtenstein, Germany, Switzerland)

 

7) Did you/will you go to work today? Nope. I only work on Thursdays and sometimes Mondays.

 

 

 

Does she want to be alone?

I thought I was writing an inoffensive email. I was touching base with my aunt/Godmother, who has had health problems lately. I wanted to make her feel supported. I also wanted to show her a photo of Violet, my grandniece, with Violet's cousins, who had come to Michigan over Spring break to meet the baby. 

I used this TV theme song as my entrée. If you're a Boomer, you know it. Patty Duke portrayed "identical cousins," which is, of course, genetically impossible. This theme is as memorable as the show was stupid. 

I was chatty. I talked about how the lyrics to this theme were running through my head all week:

•  First with the Oscars and Sinners. I reminded her that I've been madly Oscar obsessed since I was a little girl and remain so, so naturally I saw Michael B. Jordan's winning performance for playing twins. I mentioned how amazed I am by how far the technology had come since the 1960s when Patty Duke played COUSINS, identical cousins! I asked her if she remembered the song.

•  Then with the photo of Baby Violet and her California, which I attached. I knew if it wasn't for me my aunt wouldn't see it because she has MAGA'd their mothers to death. They no longer communicate with her because my aunt is legit unable to converse without shoe-horning her hostile politics into every conversation. (Spoiler alert: she's about to do it to me. Keep reading.)

I closed the email with an update about the resolution of my problems at the card shop. I was happy to report that I'm able to sit during my shifts because of my bad back, and that Corporate HR couldn't have been nicer about it. "Of course they are. Because I'm a senior citizen and they're afraid I'll sue." I was joking, of course. I made $4,800 at this job in 2025. I'm certainly not about to sue anyone over this!

Auntie answered right away.  No mention of The Patty Duke Show, which made me sad because I was sure that shot of nostalgia would have made her smile. 

But she didn't watch the Oscars because the political posturing of Hollywood turns her off, and she doesn't want to see what the celebrities "are wearing, or most likely, not wearing." My comment about HR reminded her of "all the woke garbage" when she worked for Motorola, where "a black woman engineer was automatically golden." She liked the photo of Baby Violet and the California Cousins and said she kinda misses her only cousin, Sandy, but she hasn't heard from Sandy since last May. (Gee! I wonder why.)

She went on to detail her medical problems, which included a recent trip to the ER for vomiting and stomach pains. She's OK now, but I appreciate that this must have terrifying.

She will be 80 in May.* She is estranged from her oldest son and his kids because she can't stop being, in her adult granddaughter's words, "a racist homophobe." She has a great grandchild she's never held. My kid sister and my niece don't want anything to do with her since she called my niece and nephew "freeloaders" for their participation in Biden's tuition repayment plan. 

At least she still has me. But for fuck's sake, can't she remove her red MAGA hat for the half hour it takes to respond to my email? She didn't have to slam the Oscars, which she knows I watched and enjoyed. I gave her The Patty Duke Show off ramp. She could have just said she was happy for me, getting the stool at work. Or she could have asked what was wrong with my back. But no, she went with "the woke garbage." (BTW, I had referred to myself as "a senior citizen" because that usually makes her laugh. "You're my sweet baby niece and Goddaughter! How can you be a senior citizen?")

I have news for my Auntie. Come Mother's Day and her birthday in May, she can count on gifts from one person, and it's not Donald Trump. 

I am stubborn and I refuse to let her go. But I wish she'd stop tempting me.

I know that our President likes to chide people like me for Trump Derangement Syndrome, but it's MAGA that takes over people's lives. I don't go to the blogs of right-wingers and tell them why they're wrong, yet people have done that here. I don't tell my aunt I don't respect her beliefs, but she can't resist slagging mine. There's an inherent lack of respect, a need to make enemies out of others, that MAGA inspires. 

I can see that my aunt is lonely and I know she's not stupid. I just don't see why she can't connect the dots.

*Or maybe 79.  

 

Thursday Thirteen #452

What I value. President Joe Biden said, "Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I'll tell you what you value." That quote is top of mind for me because I recently sat down with my accountant to discuss tax deductions for my 2025 return. This list of the 13 organizations I gave the most to (listed highest to lowest) does say something about me.

1. My church.

2. My local food pantry. Because these are my neighbors. In addition to monthly cash contributions, I also throw a non-perishable ($1.25 or less) into my cart every time I go grocery shopping. Today it was a can of corn (89¢). Anyway, by doing that, I'm able to bring a bag of food over to the pantry in person every month without even feeling a pinch. 

3. Doctors without Borders. If you're like me, you see stories about Ukraine or the international impact of DOGE cuts and you wonder, "What can I do?" Through my monthly donation to DWB, I am helping provide aid. 

4. Feeding America. This national organization supports food pantries and meal programs all across the country. 

5. Harmony House for Cats. Chicago has many animal shelters. I've chosen to give monthly to this one. They do great work, but they don't get a lot of publicity.

6. Greenpeace. I do this for my late mother. She often worried aloud about the impact of climate change on endangered species.

7. The Night Ministry. The homeless are our neighbors. The Night Ministry supports them with food, shelter, and medical care. 

8. The Carter Center.  I made the first of my 2025 contributions to this organization in memory of Kathleen's mother. Kathleen has a very big family with lots of siblings, so I was afraid any floral arrangement I sent to the funeral would be lost among amid a sea of FTD deliveries. I know Kathleen found Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter's post-White House work inspiring and thought this would be a nice way to comfort her. Anyway, now I'm on their mailing list and I support their efforts to promote peace and health across the globe. The Center refers to their efforts as "Waging Peace." Contrast that with the current POTUS, who insists on referring to the Department of Defense as the Department of War. I'm happy to support The Carter Center's work.

9. Fried's Cat Shelter. I do this for my late uncle. It was his favorite charity. It was started in the 1970s by the Frieds, Jewish immigrants who escaped the Nazis by coming to America in 1939. After they retired, they bought an abandoned motel in Michigan City, IN, and turned it into a no-kill shelter for homeless cats. Their time under Hitler taught them, "To save a life is more in conformity with God's law than to kill." Every cat who enters Fried's is guaranteed a home for life, whether with an adopter on in loving care at the shelter.

10. WTTW – Channel 11. It's Chicago's PBS station. The Trump Administration has been behind the defunding of public television, and it's up to those of us who care about local news to do our part to help make up the shortfall. 

11. Marine Toys for Tots. I worked in advertising for decades, and I began my career working at Sears, writing about toys for The Wish Book. I commercialized Christmas, and this is my penance. I don't want any wee one to be disappointed because they didn't get a toy from Santa.

12. Lincoln Presidential Foundation.  Kathleen has Jimmy Carter,  I've got Abe. People, especially children, need to learn more about him. Fortunately, since Mr. Lincoln was President before the 1950s when the formal system for Presidential libraries was established, it does not rely on Federal funding. The Trump Administration can't fuck with its staffing, like they did the JFK Presidential Library. Because it's state run, they can't fuck with the content, like they have with the Smithsonian. But that means it depends heavily on private donors.

13. World Wildlife Fund. I do this in my mother's memory, too. Polar bears, seals, elephants ... she often said she worried her great grandchildren wouldn't get to see these wonderful endangered animals. Whenever she was a little money ahead, she'd send $10 along to WWF. I like thinking how pleased she would be that I am expanding her good work, especially now that she has three great grandkids.

Before you give to any charity, make sure it's worthy of your money. Check it out at Give.org.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.