Here's why I enjoy my annual mammogram

Because I'm elated when my doctor's office calls and tells me everything is just fine. And that's just what happened today. (Thank God.)

Thank you, Alan Rickman

I have often threatened my coworkers that we will make our client's deadlines, even if there's bruising or loss of blood, even if I have to call off Christmas.

This is not an original thought. No one has ever busted me, though, for stealing it from the inimitable Alan Rickman in Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. If they haven't seen this film, it's their loss. For he managed to be a luminous villain in a completely average movie.



He was also Hans Gruber in Die Hard. I've seen that movie dozens of times, and always feel a little twinge of sadness when he falls to his death. Bruce Willis' John McClane is a hero that stays with us because he had such a charismatic, formidable foe.

So I'm going to miss Alan Rickman, and I'm grateful for the time I've spent watching his work.

My kingdom for a burger

My gastrointestinal tract is still rebelling. Which sucks. Every day I wake up and think, "This will be the day everything is fine!" And for more than two weeks, I've been disappointed.

I've been subsisting on poultry, crackers, soup, and rice. Oh, how I want beef! A nice, juicy burger with lettuce and cheese and thin-sliced pickles and lots of ketchup. Or a slice of deep dish pizza, gooey and cheesey. I want to wash it down with a chilled vodka and cran. But most of all, I really want a burger.

In the meantime, I'm going back to the doctor's office tomorrow. Not for a checkup, but to get the kit required to submit a stool sample. I'm disgusted by this. I'm sick of this. I want this to be done. Hopefully the lab will find discover something from my stool that was absent in my blood, and that's something that can be treated by an antibiotic.