Talked to my poor mom for about an hour tonight. She spent the afternoon in court with my uncle. He is now the ward of an elder care guardian appointed by the State of IL. No one knows yet what the immediate ramifications of this ruling is, but my uncle is sleeping in his own home tonight, in his own bed.The lawyer representing the State of IL says that the action was initiated by "an institution," but beyond that, we'll never know who is behind this. It's not my cousin, my uncle's only child, and I'm relieved. But my cousin told the court she won't now, and never will, become his guardian. It must have been excruciatingly painful for both father and daughter.
I don't judge this. While my uncle was very good to me, he was not often a good father. He found himself with a wife and a baby when he was still a teenager, and I think he resented my cousin for being a responsibility when he would have rather been free. He really didn't begin paying consistent attention to his daughter until about 10 years ago, when her sons were babies. In fairness, a few years ago she tried to convince my uncle to move closer to her and her family, but instead he chose to live closer to the gambling boat, with disastrous results. So today was awful for her.
But worse for my uncle, who literally fell in the gutter in front of the court house.
President Kennedy once said, after spending a few hours with his stricken father, "Old age is a shipwreck."
Selfishly, I am hurting, too. I am slowly realizing that not only has my uncle's body failed him, his mind has, too. Instead of being the renegade force of nature I've known my whole life, he has become a tearful, frightened child.
I'm gonna miss him.
