I'm learning to teach

"You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce." That's a quote from Tony Gaskins, a life coach who has worked with college and pro athletes. I heard it from Joe Maddon on his Book of Joe podcast.

This little chapter began with the No Kings rally. My friend Nancy had been asking when we could get together. I know she's politically progressive and she used to live in my neighborhood, so it seemed like a good idea. She could come here for the rally and then we could have lunch. 

Nancy and her husband Paul met me by the WWI memorial. We listened to the speakers – or tried to; predictably, the mics didn't work very well. That's where it started. The speakers weren't very good. The crowd was too old and too white. As we marched through the village business district, Nancy complained that she could smell pot in the air. Everything was wrong, or bad, or insufficient.

She was like this all day. Grumpy, pissy, displeased. She even complained about the parking garage next to my apartment building because it's unattractive. "How long has that been here?" Twenty five years, at least. Really, I was happiest when we were eating lunch and she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

I tried to figure out why she was like this. Both she and her husband are out of work so maybe money's a concern. It was Father's Day weekend, so maybe she was missing her son. It's been almost four years since he died, but I bet holidays like Father's Day will always be painful. Or maybe ... or maybe ... or maybe ...

But here's the thing: Fond as I am of Nancy, I don't think she ever twists herself up like a pretzel trying to figure me out. I suspect she never worries about what motivates, hurts or hinders me. That revelation left me feel lonely. 

Then I puked. A couple days later, I was giving the living room/dining room a quick once over with vacuum cleaner before going downtown to meet Elaine. Suddenly I was nauseous. It surprised me, because while I have a sensitive gut I don't often throw up. I sipped some water and called Elaine, apologizing for cancelling on such short notice but telling her that I didn't feel comfortable going out so soon after vomiting. Her first, instinctive response? "Do you need anything?" How sweet is Elaine!

Then I heard Joe. "You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce." Somehow, when I heard Joe say it through my headphones, it really resonated. So I acted on it. I shot Elaine an email, thanking her for offering to help when I was ill. For always offering to help. For being Elaine. Her kindness – so spontaneous – should be acknowledged and reinforced. It felt good to do, and she appreciated it.

Then I went out to lunch with two ex-co-workers. Both Rita and my former art director talk to me often but never too each other, so I thought it would be nice if we had a little reunion. It's been two years since the three of us were in the same place at the same time.

Predictably, the two of them did most of the talking. As I say, it's been two years since they spoke. But when I finally tried to hold court, Rita began checking her phone. I could tell she was in a hurry to get home because she'd only paid for two hours of parking. I get it: she's a single working mom on a budget and downtown parking can be expensive. But I was hurt, too.

I mean, here are two women who profess to adore me. And I believe them. But at no point did either of them say, "How are you, Gal?" In fact, now that I think of it, when they call me, it's to call on me. It's when my art director is feeling lonely, or Rita needs career/personal advice. 

I heard Joe's voice in my head: "You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce." So I spoke up. I mentioned Elaine, and how much it meant to me that she offered to help, even before I could ask. I mentioned the drama of Violet's birth, and how I long to discuss it with Henry, whom I miss every day. Rita said she was sorry, that it was her fault she never sees past my "good boss energy." My art director said she hopes I'll be "kind to myself" and that I should call her any time. Then the three of us went our separate ways.

Four days later, the most extraordinary thing happened. Rita called me. Not because she was overwhelmed by family drama or feeling insecure professionally. No, she called because her little boy was with her ex for the night and she wanted to see how I am. 

My heart sang.

"You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce."  

Thanks, Joe (and Tony).

 

Thursday Thirteen #418

 

But I don't cook! I was having a tough time thinking of an idea for this week's TT when voila! The Old Farmer's Almanac Readers' Best Recipes came in the mail.* Problem solved. I don't cook and normally I'd just put this booklet downstairs in our shared laundry room for someone who might want it – and that's where it will still end up – but it does give me fodder for a post.

Each of these recipes was submitted to the Old Farmer's Almanac by a reader and then taste tested by their kitchen team. If one of them looks tempting to you, you can find the full recipe and a photo at Almanac.com. 

1. Stuffed French Toast. It's baked in the oven instead of fried on the stove top, so you use less butter and clean up is easier.

2. Florentine Spinach Dip. This recipe has a lot of cheese in it, which sounds good to me. The Almanac taste testers agree. One even asked to lick the casserole bowl. 

3. Apple Slaw with Honey Mustard Vinaigrette. A light side dish. "The sweetness of the apple and honey complements the green onions, mustard and vinegar."

4. Slow Cooker French Onion Soup. I see there's Parmesan in the recipe, which I'm sure enhances it. The Almanac team reports that it's "very good and very easy to make."

5. Blue Cheese Brussels Sprouts. OK, this one doesn't appeal to me at all. It's a baked dish, which I suppose is a good way to prepare Brussels sprouts – if you like that sort of thing.

6. Not-Too-Spicy Veggie and Lentil Chili. It's a one-pot recipe that can be prepared on a slow cooker (which I'd expect) or on a stove top. 

7. Traditional Potato Salad. I smiled when I saw this recipe because it includes both Miracle Whip and mayonnaise. Maybe potato salad could have resolved the long-running, good-natured argument between my mom (Team Miracle Whip) and my niece (Mayo Forever!).

8. Celebration Meatballs. Do you like your meatballs spicy or mild? This recipe gives you ideas for how to dial up, or down, the spice in the sauce.

9. Oatmeal Berry Bars. I like this one because like #8, we're given an easy way to adapt this one. If you prefer your bars extra chewy, substitute almond meal for half the flour. 

10. Hawaiian Shrimp Tacos. Shrimp, with pineapple salsa and wasabi dressing. While the tacos are definitely neat looking, this one looks like a lot of work. The pineapple salsa also works well on salmon.

11. Kat's Tortellini Salad. Now this one, on the other hand, looks pretty easy. Except for the sliced, marinated artichoke hearts. I wouldn't do that myself, I'd use the store bought ones. But that's me. In culinary terms, I'm just one notch above a savage.

12. Nana's Apple Pecan Cake. Here's something I never notice or consider: When slicing cake, do frosting or crumbs stick on the knife? Apparently this is a big deal to people who take this baking thing seriously. So here's a pecan cake that's easy to slice into "clean" slices.

13. Fresh Mexican Salsa. This recipe was developed by an American living in Tokyo. She missed Mexican food and experimented with ingredients available to her over there. When she landed on this recipe, she not only used it for chips and dips, she spooned it onto scrambled eggs for breakfast.

Let me know if any of these appeal to you. Remember, you can find the full recipes  at Almanac.com. 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

*It was included in a fundraising appeal for Boys Town.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

 

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? A Murder in Hollywood: The Untold Story of Tinseltown's Most Shocking Crime by Casey Sherman. A glamorous actress – a household name – is involved with the murder of a mobster. In her bedroom. By her teenage daughter. It's impossible to overestimate what a big news story this was in 1958. 

 

The Lana Turner scandal gets an in depth treatment here. Casey Sherman works hard to put the sordid incident in context. He not only tells us Lana's story, but also that of Mickey Cohen, the mob kingpin who employed the thug on the bedroom rug. So far, the writing is really clunky, though. 

 

PS Lana Turner starred in the movie version of Peyton Place, the book Cher is reading in the tub. 

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? PT-109: An American Epic of War, Survival and the Destiny of John F. Kennedy by William Doyle.  A Japanese destroyer collided with a PT boat in August 1943. The US Navy made no attempt at rescue, assuming that all 13 men aboard were lost. The US Navy was wrong, and in 18 years, one of those 13 would be the Commander in Chief. On the face of it, that's a great wartime saga. The reality doesn't disappoint.

Doyle takes us through Kennedy's naval career and then into politics. But he always frames JFK's life through a PT-109 lens, and it's effective. The context taught me a lot about post war Japan-US relations, and how meaningful it was to the Japanese that the President was in cordial contact with the commander of the Amagiri, the man who nearly missed killing him during wartime.*

I admit I am not that interested in battles on air, sea or land, so the passages about what went on aboard PT-109 that fateful night didn't really mean that much to me. What about the radio? What about the radar? Don't care. What I did find gripping – and, frankly, left me in awe – was Kennedy's 8-day battle to keep his men alive and get them to safety after they washed up on a small island. No fresh water. No food. Since many of the men had removed their pants and lost their shoes as they swam miles from their wreckage to shore, the sharp coral and hot sand were perilous. Two of the men sustained bad burns, so infection was another enemy. Oh yeah, and there was the tropical bugs and unrelenting sun. Morale could have sunk like their ship. After all, it didn't take the men long to realize the Navy was not looking for them. I might have given up. OK, I'm sure I would have given up. But JFK would not let them give up.

I don't have to tell you that Kennedy survived the ordeal and became a decorated war hero. What I didn't know before this book was that in November, Kennedy took command of a second PT boat, and then rescued more than 30 marines whose ship had been damaged and was sinking.

August to November: That's a shit-ton of heroism in barely 90 days.

I know our current President would be dismissive. To paraphrase what he said on camera about John McCain, Donald Trumps likes sailors whose ships aren't destroyed. I disagree. 

*A Japanese sailor who had been aboard the Amagiri that night made a comment that stayed with me: "He avoided death in war but was murdered in a parade." That's as profound a reflection on the vagaries of life as I've ever heard. 

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

 

 

Sunday Stealing

Just Another Manic Monday

1. What is something you should throw away, but just can't bring yourself to part with? I have so many plastic food containers! I don't need them and they're taking up space.

2. When you make yourself a sandwich, do you cut it on the diagonal, straight up the middle, or not at all? Not at all.

3. What song or sound brings back memories of childhood? Teen dream Bobby Sherman died this past week. Hearing snippets of this on the news really brought me back to junior high.

  

4. Who is the first person you call when you have good news? Depends on what it's pertaining to. But probably my friend Elaine. Maybe my nephew.

5. Have you ever set out on a walk in the rain? Nope.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Consider Me Gone (2009)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here. 

 

1) In this song, poor Reba McEntire confronts a lover who makes her feel like she's not good enough. Let's go in a more positive direction: Who in your life makes you feel happy and secure? The team at the card shop. Those girls – and boy, are they young! – are so supportive. I just had my performance review and it was glowing. Much better than I expected (or frankly, than I think I deserve). I feel like Sally Field ...

 

2) Reba hopes her lover will look back on her as someone who used to make him laugh. Who did you most recently laugh with? This question is hard because it reminds me of my late friend John. He was part of my life for more than 40 summers and, oh, how we laughed! I laugh easily and have fun with all my friends, but not like I did with John.

 

3) She was director James Cameron's first choice to play Molly Brown in the 1997  blockbuster Titanic, but she had to turn down the role because she was committed to a concert tour. Think of the last invitation you received. Did you say yes or no? A classmate from The Class of 1975 was passing through and invited me to dinner with her husband and big brother (Class of 1972). I wasn't enthusiastic, but I said yes. Turns out we had a lovely time, and I'm glad I went.

4) Reba comes from a rodeo family: both her father and grandfather were champion steer ropers and her mother was a barrel racer. Have you ever been to a rodeo? Yes, but I remember very little about it. Except that I felt bad for the steers.

5) She loves game nights with family and friends because she says she's "a competitive person." When you play friendly board or card games, do you always play to win? I have no "killer instinct." I enjoy games but I don't much care who wins.

 

6) Reba wears tall boots all the time, even in summer, and has more than 100 pairs. Do you often wear boots? I never wear tall boots. For me, boots aren't a fashion accessory, they are something that keeps me from slipping on ice.

 

7) In 2009, when this song was popular, Mark Zuckerberg tried unsuccessfully to buy Twitter. Elon Musk acquired it in 2022 and renamed it X. Do you often post to Twitter/X? Not anymore. Since Elon took over, it's become quite the hellscape. So many conspiracy theories and so much hate! My classic movie friends have all joined me over at Bluesky.

 
8) Back in 2009, DuPont announced that silver and black were the most popular vehicle colors, accounting for half the cars the world over. What color is your ride? No car.

 

9) Random question: Have you ever had a job that required you to wear a hairnet? Nope.

 

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #417

Peter Falk's Law. Last week I did a TT about Peter Falk's most famous role, TV's Columbo. In researching it, I discovered that Falk's final illness and death in 2011 inspired elder care legislation. 

1. Peter Falk and his wife Alyce had two daughters, Jackie and Catherine. The couple divorced when Catherine was five years old. The following year, Falk remarried Shera Danese.

2. In later years, Falk suffered declining health. He made his final acting appearance at age 82. After that, he retired, having been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.

3. Shera Danese Falk was named his conservator. This was not unusual, as they had been married for decades. Friends agreed they were a devoted couple, and Shera would be mentioned on Falk's tombstone, which reads, "I'm not here. I'm home with Shera."

4. There were problems, though, between Mrs. Falk and her adult stepdaughters. Especially Catherine. At one point Catherine filed a lawsuit against her father when he stopped paying her college tuition as promised. Catherine referred to this as a "bump in the road" and maintains that while she and her father had reconciled, her stepmother remained distrustful and divisive. 

5. Catherine Falk filed to become her father's conservator. During the last years of their father's life, Catherine testified that she and her sister were not allowed to see or speak to him, nor were they made aware of changes in his medical condition.

6. She was denied. The court found that Peter was well cared for and there was no evidence whatsoever that Mrs. Falk was neglectful or abusive to her husband. 

7. Catherine Falk learned that in California at that time, there were no laws to guarantee children visitation. Even though a judge granted Catherine limited access to her father (30 minutes, 2x week), there was no way to legally enforce that and she believed her stepmother was intentionally keeping her father isolated from his daughters.  

8. Peter Falk's daughters found out about their father's death from the media. They were not invited to his funeral. 

9. So Catherine got to work. She began lobbying California lawmakers in an effort to give children the right to be notified when their parents go through what she called, "life-changing events." 

10. California now has Peter Falk's Law. It provides that children and siblings of a patient have a right to notified when that patient "requires acute medical care for more than three days, or dies."

11. The law now also puts a system in place for children and siblings to appeal for visitation. This way, hopefully, others won't suffer Catherine's frustration (#7).

12. Catherine's quest was never about her father's money. While details are not known, Catherine and Jackie each received a "six-figure" inheritance from their father. Catherine has used the money for legal fees and establishing Falk-NASGA (National Association to Stop Guardian Abuse).

13. Twelve states have now enacted a version of Peter Falk's Law.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? PT-109: An American Epic of War, Survival and the Destiny of John F. Kennedy by William Doyle. 

Doyle argues that, when a Japanese destroyer collided with a certain PT boat in August 1943, American history was changed forever. His premise is that, without that tragedy, John F. Kennedy would not have had a political career, and that civil rights, Vietnam and the space program would have all unfolded very differently. So Doyle examines JFK's naval career, that fateful night, and the impact it had on him as a man and as a political entity. 

 

Does this book have a pro-JFK slant? Yes. But that's because that night and for the weeks to come, the man was a hero. I crave heroism right now.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine. Is this psychological thriller soapy, campy and dumb? Yes. Did I enjoy it? God help me, yes. 

Amber is jealous. She's leading an average life but believes she deserves more. So she's targeted rich and beautiful society wife Daphne Parrish. In a methodical and creepy way, Amber insinuates herself into Daphne's life in hopes of taking it over and replacing her as Mrs. Parrish.

The dialog is sappy. The plot holes are cavernous. I was sticking with it because I hate to mark a book DNF. But about 2/3 through, there's a plot twist that nearly redeemed it and I devoured the ending in greedy gulps. I actually resented anything that took me away from Amber and Daphne! 

I just read that J-Lo is making this into a movie, casting herself as Daphne. I'll be there for it. I am a sucker for good trash. 

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

 

 

Violet check in

My niece sent me a link to the results of the baby's first photo shoot and while I spent a ton of time staring at them in awe, they are not the shots that touched my heart. No, it was the casual pic of my niece holding her tiny (so tiny!) baby in her arms in the library parking lot that got to me. It was taken after they had just signed Violet up for her Summer Reading Challenge. The librarian recommends books appropriate to every age group and considering that Violet is a preemie –  her original due date hasn't even arrived yet – I find it extraordinary and wonderful that she's already been to her local public library! We can almost say she's been reading since before she was born.

Not Violet

She's wearing oversized sunglasses in the picture. They cover nearly her entire face, which is a good thing because people underestimate how hot the Midwestern sun can be and we're having a heatwave. My niece reports that the hospital warned against sunscreen for her – again, she is especially sensitive to not only to the environment but to the chemicals in even the mildest lotion. Also, she seldom opens her eyes yet. This is not unusual for a preterm baby.

My niece is positively glowing in that library parking lot picture. I am so happy for her, but also worried. The adoption is not yet finalized, so there's that. Now I'm worried about Violet's development. She is so small! Stay positive, Gal, stay positive.

 

Sunday Stealing

What Would You Say At This Moment to:

1) Someone you have hurt? I will try to do better.

2) Someone who has hurt you? I forgive you.

3) Your favorite teacher from grade school? Thank you for creating an atmosphere where it felt safe to get it wrong.

4) Your most hated teacher from high school? I didn't hate her, but she was kind of a waste of space. I would tell her that she missed an opportunity with me. I really wanted to learn, but she discouraged my questions and stuck to the cookie cutter lesson plan.

5) Your best friend from college? I didn't attend college long enough to make any friends.

6) Your favorite recording artist? Happy 83rd birthday! 

Born 6/18/42

7) Your favorite author? William Goldman, you are not forgotten. When his name came onscreen at this year's TCM Film Festival, he was applauded. (He wrote the screenplay for Misery.)

8) Your first boss? You didn't have to be such a martinet, you know.

9) Your first love? I hope you're happy.

10) Your true love? Why haven't we met?

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: I Fall in Love Too Easily (1945)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Dinah Shore admits that her impetuous romances don't work out. Do you consider yourself impulsive? No.

2) The songwriting team of Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne composed this in a single evening. Since the song is rather short Sammy considered adding another verse, but Jule thought better of it, saying, "No. That's it." Are you more like Sammy and keep revising, tinkering and tweaking? Or, like Jule, do you find it easy to leave well enough alone? A little of each. I learned during my advertising career that my first idea was usually my best idea and I should trust my gut. That said, I've never done anything that can't be improved. The trick is knowing when the extra effort is worth the stress and the resources. If I'm at work, being paid, I'll expend it. At home, I'm very much a "good is good enough" kinda gal. 

 

3) The song was introduced in Anchors Aweigh, a movie about two sailors who find love during a two-day leave in New York. Have you ever enjoyed a romance while on holiday? No.

 

4) Though Frank Sinatra sang the song in the movie, Dinah's version was also popular. Her record sales in the 1940s were boosted by concerts, radio appearances and performances for the troops. What singer who is no longer with us do you wish you could have seen in concert? So many! But here is the first one who came to mind.

 

5) Dinah was shy with new people, but discovered as a high school cheerleader that she was good in front of a crowd. Give us one of your high school cheers. "Sway left. Sway right. Stand up. Sit down. Fight! Fight! Fight!" At my age, I would have trouble popping up and then sitting back down in time with the cheer. I'm now a creaky old broad.

 

6) She loved golf and was so good at it, she became the first woman admitted as a member to the prestigious Hillcrest Country Club in Los Angeles. What's your best sport? I'm a decent swimmer. I suck at everything else.

7) Dinah found her greatest success in television. She was so popular for so long that she was able to afford a luxury home, built to her specifications, in Palm Springs. Leonardo DiCaprio now owns it. Do you know who lived in your home before you moved in? Yes. She was a single mom with two pre-teen kids. I disliked her intensely. When I took possession, I found the family cat hiding in a closet. Can you imagine? How could she do that to the cat? How could she do that to her children? She maintained she thought he'd run away. PUH-LEEZE! It's a fourth floor unit in an elevator building. Did he hit the elevator button with his paw? I didn't have her phone number so I called the lawyer who represented me at the sale. He sensed how angry I was (perhaps because my every other word was profane) and said he'd contact her. He charged her for the litter box I'd put out and the food I gave her cat and told her when she had to be here to retrieve him. She showed up with an envelope and the good grace to seem embarrassed. If it wasn't for her kids, I would have just kept that skinny black tomcat. But it's natural for children to love their pets and I figured they had enough to cope with, changing homes and schools and all. (And her for a mother!)

 
8) In 1945, when this song was popular, Abbott and Costello appeared in the movie The Naughty Nineties, which featured their famous "Who's On First" routine. Do you know it? Who is on first, What is on second, and I Don't Know is on third. I learned this while watching the movie Rain Main in the 1980s.

 

9) Random question – Fill in the blank: After all these years, I still ____________. Struggle with fitted sheets. When I wash them, I always find a wash cloth or sock twisted in one of the corners. After 50 years of doing my own laundry, I have concluded that you have to be a sorcerer to fold them. 

 

 

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #416

The rumpled raincoat edition. I admit it: I'm hooked on a 50-year-old TV series. I love Columbo, which ran from 1971 to 1978 and is available on streaming services and in reruns on Cozi TV.* The format is unique in that we see the murder and know the motive before our hero, Lt. Columbo, even arrives on the scene. So the question is never Whodunnit. Each episode is about how the killer will be caught. We love watching the baddies underestimate the working stiff cop, the guy with the beat-up used car and ancient raincoat, who is actually luring them into giving themselves away.

 

Columbo has been top-of-mind recently because I read a lot of mysteries and I notice a trend. In contemporary crime fiction, the murders are simple on the surface but end up taking us overseas and involve terrorists, arms dealers, foreign oil, etc. My eyes roll so far back into my head I see my own brain. It's not that I doubt these crimes happen – I'm sure they do. It's just that I don't think they happen that often. These convoluted multi-national conspiracies are like the quicksand trope in cartoons when we were kids. It's just not that prevalent. When there's a murder, the police still question the spouse first, consider global conspiracies later. Way later.

 

With that in mind, I've looked at the most enduringly popular Columbo episodes and the killer's motives. The writers and producers knew what they were doing. While each mystery is set in a different milieu, which keeps the series fresh, each is also based on a relatable circumstance and watching the brilliant Columbo unravel the mystery it is easy to follow. I guess this approach is old school, and I prefer it.

 

Culled from Columbo fansites, and my own opinion, here are the best episodes. (What I've disclosed here can't be considered spoilers; you find all this out within the first 15 minutes of the show.)

1. Suitable for Framing (1971). A famous LA art critic shoots his uncle, a millionaire art collector, and stages it lo look like a robbery. His motive? Unc is leaving all his art to his nephew, who doesn't want to wait for natural causes.

2. Death Lends a Hand (1971). The head of a high-end security firm (Robert Culp) is worried about losing one of his most lucrative clients. That is until he discovers the client's wife is having an affair. Culp confronts the wife, threatening to blackmail her unless she uses her influence to keep the account where it is. The wife turns out to be spunkier than the investigator anticipated. She promises to tell her husband about the affair herself and then expose what a sleaze Culp is. They tussle and he accidentally kills her. This one was cool because the Culp is so good at covering his tracks and has so many resources at his disposal to mislead the police.   

3. Lady in Waiting (1971). The head of an influential advertising agency had a son and a daughter. When he died, he left the business to them, only the son is more iron-handed than dad had been. He controls the company to the exclusion of his sister and interferes in her love life. She's in her mid-30s now and pretty damn sick of being oppressed, of waiting her turn. She "accidentally" shoots her brother and blames it on a malfunctioning burglar alarm. "Officer, I thought he was a burglar!" She might have gotten away with it if she didn't so relish her new role as the new head of the agency.

4. Ransom for a Dead Man (1971). When the ambitious lady lawyer married her mentor, he was of great use to her. But now the old guy is a drag, especially with his talk of morals, integrity and reputation. So she shoots him, hides his body, and makes it seem his disappearance is the result of a kidnapping. When the corpse is found, everyone tip toes around her, believing her to be a grieving widow. She wears that reputation her husband/victim droned on and on about like a halo. But Columbo is onto her.  

5. Etude in Black (1972). An orchestra conductor is having fun with his pianist. It stops being fun when she decides hot sex entitles her to more than he's willing to give. After all, his wife and mother-in-law are super wealthy and well connected. He can probably get hot sex somewhere else but where else is he going to get all that lovely money and access to important people who can promote his orchestra? So, after setting up an elaborate alibi that includes witnesses watching him retire to his dressing room and a mechanic who swears he had no access to his car all afternoon, he knocks his mistress out, pecks out a "goodbye, cruel world" note on her typewriter, and drags her into the kitchen and puts her head in the gas oven. Obviously it's a suicide, right? Well, not so obvious to Lt. Columbo.

6. Lovely but Lethal (1973). A beauty company executive is desperate for a new product that will help her earn back market share. She thinks she's got it with a new wrinkle cream. But here's the thing: the formula was developed by a young chemist with lots of sex appeal – he's sharing her bed – but no scruples. He threatens to take the formula to the competition if she doesn't give him a payday. She's hurt, furious, betrayed, scared ... and in a crime of passion the chemist ends up dead. No one can believe the elegant, ladylike and above reproach exec could be involved with anything as tawdry as murder. No one, but Columbo. (The chemist was Martin Sheen. It's worth watching just to see how hot he was 50 years ago.)

7. Publish or Perish (1974). An author known for sleazy detective novels wants to write more respectable fare and is switching publishers. His current publisher can't have his writer making money for someone else. And hey! If the author dies before he can sign with another house, his existing catalog of work will make his current publisher even more money! After all, dead writers are often worth more than living ones. So ... The author's plight reminds me a little of Paul Sheldon, who (ahem) found it hard to quit writing about Misery in 1987.

8. Negative Reaction (1974). A once-respected photojournalist has been taking celebrity/society portraits to maintain his wife in the style to which she's become accustomed. He's tired of being a sell out and wants to return to his journalistic roots, but what to do with about wife? A divorce would ruin him financially, so he does the sensible thing (if you're a sociopath) and kills her. Most distressing about this episode is that the killer is played by Dick Van Dyke! I couldn't bear it. Oh, Rob!

9. An Exercise in Fatality (1974). A TV health guru opens a chain of fitness centers and sells a franchise to a dumpy used car dealer. But while the car dealer doesn't understand health and fitness, he can read a spreadsheet and knows he's being ripped off. Before he can blow the whistle on the guru, he's found in the weight room of his own fitness center, his windpipe crushed by a barbell. The guru tells Columbo his "friend" clearly had begun a fitness regimen and tried to do too much too soon. Columbo ain't buying it. 

10. Troubled Waters (1975). A car company exec rewards his top-selling dealers with a cruise from Los Angeles to Cabo. He didn't know the ship's entertainer was a girl he'd had a fling with. She recognizes the embarrassment she could cause him by revealing their affair and wants money in exchange for her silence. He refuses and soon she's dead. He's pretty sure he'll get away with it because they're at sea, in international waters, and by the time they get to port and the authorities can board the ship, he will have destroyed and/or planted evidence. Only one problem – Guess who is taking an infrequent and well-deserved vacation: Lt. Columbo and his wife.

11. Swan Song (1975). A gospel singer has charisma, a love of the Lord, and a weakness for a well-turned ankle. He wants to enjoy the money his music is making but his sanctimonious wife – whom he unwisely put in charge of his finances – wants to build a megachurch. When the plane he was piloting crashes and the two other passengers – his wife and underage mistress – are killed, no one suspects him. After all, he received serious injuries in the crash, too. But wait a minute. Columbo doesn't think it all adds up. Johnny Cash plays a surprisingly sympathetic baddie.

12. Forgotten Lady (1975). A documentary about classic Hollywood draws new attention to a faded musical star. When her career stalled, she married a nice older doctor and settled into life as a society doyenne. But now she's in the spotlight again and dreams of a comeback. She convinces herself she can star in a stage musical if only that old coot of husband of hers will give her the money to finance it. He is more realistic than she is, about both her bankability and their finances, and refuses. So she kills him and makes it look like suicide. There's a highly original and emotionally resonant plot twist that makes this episode one of my favorites.

13. Now You See Him (1976). The owner of an LA nightclub has interesting leverage over his star attraction, a celebrity magician. He discovered that decades ago, under a different name, the magician had been an SS guard. If the magician doesn't agree to a new, owner-friendly contract, the owner will send the info to immigration. Not surprisingly the owner ends up dead. But the magician has an alibi that is literally airtight – he was onstage, submerged in a tank of water, while the murder took place. The entire audience saw him. Or did they?

*I never watched Columbo in real time. I just wasn't into mysteries back then and in those long ago days, before DVDs and video recording, if you missed a show, pfft!, it was gone. But not only is Columbo on Cozi-TV every Saturday, it's available on all these streaming services.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine. A psychological thriller about envy. Amber had a ho-hum lower middle class upbringing but felt she deserved more. She wanted the life rich and beautiful Daphne Parrish enjoyed. And so, in a very methodical and creepy way, Amber sets out to insinuate herself into Daphne's life.

 

I'm not very deep into it yet, but so far it feels very Lifetime/Hallmark. Amber is sure lucky, and Daphne is sure dumb. I hope it draws me in deeper, because I like the premise. 

2. What did you recently finish reading? America's Reluctant Prince by Steven M. Gillon. An interesting and thought provoking biography of JFK, Jr. There were things I liked, things I didn't like, and something that was missing.

I'll address the last one first, top of mind for me as we approach the first anniversary of my dear friend Henry's death. I realize that John Kennedy Jr. was much loved by his friends and that's why I want to know: Aren't you mad at him? It was John's recklessness that ultimately killed him and took the lives of his wife and sister-in-law. Aren't you pissed? In all I've read about JFK, Jr., none of his friends ever admits those feelings. My Henry got on his bike, rode home in the dark after too many glasses of wine, and collided with a van. He sustained a traumatic brain injury and was never the same again. I didn't love him any less, and treasure the life lessons his TBI taught me, but oh! I was mad at him and still am at times. I miss Henry and he didn't have to leave me the way he did. Don't John's friends ever feel that? Gillon was an insider, a racquetball buddy who had access to many in John's circle. I wish he'd taken that question on.

Now here's what I liked: I learned that John was prescient in business matters. In 1999, he wanted to take George magazine to "the worldwide web." It would reduce publishing expenses and save the cost of mailing issues to subscribers. He would have been one of the first editor/publishers of a major glossy mag to do this, but found little enthusiasm from investors for his idea. I wish he was here to say, "Told you so!" As bright as he was about business, he was that naive about politics. He was shocked and confused by how ugly and personal the GOP got during the Clinton impeachment scandal. Oh, John, I'm glad you're not here for MAGA.

What I didn't like: Carolyn-as-bitch. Even though Gillon includes many warm anecdotes about how sensitive and caring Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy was to John's cousin and members of the George staff, he also quotes unnamed sources about her coke use, infidelity and single-minded pursuit of John. It felt more than a little misogynistic, especially since Gillon is a legit historian, not one of your run-of-the-mill Kennedy scandal mongers, and historians don't tend to rely on unnamed sources. Also, Carolyn is not the one who ended the marriage. John did, in the most definitive way possible. See above.

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

 

 

 

Sunday Stealing

Complete the Thought

1. I wish someone would ... invent an app or something that would let me know when the washers in the laundry room are free. I hate hauling my detergent and dirty clothes all the way down to the basement, just to see that someone beat me to it.

2. When I order Chinese food ... I tell them not to include chopsticks. I don't know how to use chopsticks.

3. I know it's not everyone's favorite activity, but I actually enjoy ... doing the dishes. I don't have a dishwasher, so it takes a moment. But there's something nice about a chore that isn't complicated and has a beginning and a middle and an end. 

5. A major pet peeve of mine is ... neighbors who waylay me. I'm on the condo board, and I hate it when another unit owner traps me when I'm on the elevator or taking the trash out. Invariably what they ask me about is an issue for the management company and I can't answer them anyway. ("When is the landscaper coming?" "I'm sorry I don't know. Have you called the management company?") It's worse when they knock on the door. I'm not on duty 24/7, you know.

6. I remember when my grandfather ... This isn't anything specific, but a vibe. My grandpa always made me feel like seeing me was the highlight of his day. He was just such a big old love bug!

7. I am not fazed at all by ... bodily functions. Changing diapers, emptying litter boxes, and cleaning up puke are certainly not my favorite things to do, but they don't bother me.

8. Long car rides ... put me to sleep. (It's OK because I'm never driving.)

9. I don't understand the fuss over ... anime.

10. When I'm home alone ... I sing. Loudly and tunelessly, but happily.