Interview me

Kwizgiver was interviewed by one of her blog buddies, I thought I'd try it too!

Five questions from Kwizgiver
to The Gal Herself

1. There's a totally complete media blackout on all baseball coverage. How would you follow the Cubs? This was the easiest of the five. For after each game, an L or (most likely) W pennant flies above the scoreboard and it's easily seen from the el tracks. All I'd have to do is go a little (OK, more like an hour) out of my way to get the final result. And while I was in Wrigleyville, I'd probably get off the train and visit one of the many bars and talk to those who had been at the game. Buy a Cub fan a beer and it's not hard to get his opinion on the Boys in Blue.

2. President Obama would like you to be his advisor for... what? I'd like to be his special envoy to the Hillary Contingent: White women over 50 who make less than $50,000/year. Technically speaking I don't belong to this group, but I very easily could have if I didn't have luck and mentors early in my career. I understand them and their issues. Rahm! Are you out there, Rahm! Please pass this suggestion along to POTUS.

3. If you had to create and market a new holiday, what would it be like, how would it be celebrated, would there be decorations, (etc)? Beatles Day! Yes, I know they're British, but what the hell. It would be the first Monday in April, commemorating the week of April 4, 1964, when the Beatles held all five positions of Billboard's Top. Schoolchildren would hold Beatle assemblies, during which they would perform Beatle songs. TV stations would run A Hard Day's Night and Help! the same way we see It's A Wonderful Life and Rudolph every Christmas. It would customary to display the words, "All You Need Is Love" in windows and on doors. Children are told to be good or ELSE (meaning or else Yoko Ono will visit and terrify you in the night).

4. You have to be escorted to work by a mime, a marching band, or a color commentator... which would you prefer and why? My favorite question! A marching band. Mimes scare me, a color commentator would interrupt my ability to read the paper on the train. But a marching band! Ah! I'd not only get a seat on the el, I might get my own car!

5. What would you do if you were given a thousand dollars to perform random acts of kindness? This is such a fun fantasy! I'd take $500 and go grocery shopping -- picking up as many non-perishable "buy one, get one free" items as I could and then take my booty to the food pantry. I'd divvy up $400 among animal shelters, because they suffer mightily as the economy falters. I'd use the last $100 to buy McDonald's and Starbuck's gift cards and distribute them to the homeless I see downtown. It would give them the opportunity to go indoors and buy something warm -- but not liquor or cigarettes.

Want to play too? Here's how:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond with five questions chosen just for you. (I get to pick the questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Sunday Stealing #17

Sunday Stealing: The Sassy Meme

1. If you could say anything you wanted to say to George Bush, what would you say? "Mr. President, I believe that when you get to Heaven, Jesus will slap you upside the head and say, 'How dare you blame ME for the invasion of Iraq!'"

2. If you had to be the mother of Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan, who would you choose and why? Really? Do I HAVE to choose one? I'd rather shave my legs with a cheese grater. OK -- Britney. Why? Because you're making me.

3. You get to be Queen for a day. The kids are all taken care of, and you can spend as much money as you want. What do you do all day? While I'm being outfitted by a Personal Shopper at Macy's, a cleaning service will be scrubbing, vacuuming, polishing and shining throughout my condo.

4. Is there a song that brings tears to your eyes every time you hear it? If so, which one? "Save the Best for Last" by Vanessa Williams. Because it's how we felt at the beginning of our relationship, but not at all how we felt at the end, and that makes me unutterably sad.

5. A fairy taps you on the shoulder and tells you that you can either have a perfect face or a perfect body for the rest of your life. Which do you choose? Bod

6. If you could live any place in the world and money was no object, where would you live and why? Here. I'd just live better.

7. What is your biggest regret in life? I try not to regret anything because it's a waste.

8. If you could go back and visit one person in your life who is now dead, and ask one question, what would that question be and why would you ask it? I recently found out that, even though I understood he had been living Germany, my grandfather came to America on a boat that originated in Norway. Why? Did it stop in Germany? Did he run away to Norway so his parents couldn't find/stop him? What gives? (I know that' s more than one question, but I'd ask them in rapid succession so it still sounded like just one.)

9. If you had the choice to age forward (like we are now) or aging backwards (think Benjamin Buttons) which would you choose and why? Like we are now. Cuz.

10. What will the epitaph on your headstone say? Hopefully, as Wilbur said of Charlotte, "She was a good writer and a true friend."