Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Believe

1) In 1998, Cher became the oldest woman to top the Billboard Hot 100 with "Believe." She was 52 at the time. At what age do you think you did hit/will hit your prime? Looking back, I liked my mid-late 30s. I was still in very good shape, I was seeing some very nice men and my career was finally taking off.

2) Cher is as well known for her outrageous outfits as for her singing. What's the latest piece of clothing you added to your wardrobe? A wine-colored sweater with a deep v-neck from Kohl's. I was originally attracted by the price, which was $7.99. When I got home and peeled away one yellow sales sticker and after another, I saw that it had originally been $98. It wasn't worth $100, but it's a bargain at less than 10% of that.

3) Cher credits her unique looks to her diverse ethnicity. Her father was Armenian and her mom is English/German/Cherokee. From where did your ancestors come? I'm German and Irish, which accounts for both my pale skin and my stubborn streak.

4) When she was a little girl, Cher produced and starred in a schoolyard production of Oklahoma. Were you involved in drama or theater in school? Nope.

5) Cher is open about her plastic surgery, speaking freely about having had her breasts 'done', her nose bobbed and her teeth straightened. If you could change one physical feature about yourself, which would it be? And what would you never change, under any circumstances? I'm not crazy about all my chins, so if there was a safe and inexpensive way to fix those, I'd consider it. (Wait, is that Debby Boone I hear? What IS a "Lifestyle Lift" anyway? Is there a scalpel involved?) I have pretty green eyes and a nice nose.

6) There's a stubborn rumor, often denied, that Cher had a rib removed so that she could maintain her long and lean silhouette. What's the most outrageous thing anyone has said of you? Somehow by changing jobs I went from being a slut who slept with every male coworker to a lesbian. I wish I was having as much sex as Rumor Mill Gal gets.

7) When she was a kid, Cher practiced her autograph. Do you have a clear, legible signature? Or is it more of a scrawl? My handwriting is the prettiest thing about me.

8) Cher asks, "Do you believe in life after love?" Crazy Sam's question is easier and less profound: Do you believe in luck? Yes.

9) Did you make any resolutions for 2014? Eat less. Move more.

Is 2014 the Year of the Happy Friend?

My oldest friend moved to California three (or is it now four?) years ago and has had nothing but bad luck. Fired from three jobs. Her oldest son was robbed at gunpoint and then, in a completely unrelated incident, had to spend the night in jail. Her daughter has had emotional problems and quit going to school, which brought the law to her front door yet again. She broke her elbow and has required multiple surgeries and much physical therapy.


Oh yeah, and before leaving for Los Angeles, she abandoned her suburban Chicagoland home, resulting in a major blow to her credit rating.

The much-adored cousin she moved 2000 miles to be near has been no support whatsoever. This has left her feeling worse than vulnerable. She's disillusioned and abandoned, too.

Until Now! I hate to jinx it, but I think I feel comfortable saying her life is finally turning around.

•  A good job. Her fifth since she's been out there. (The Los Angeles economy has to be much, much better than Chicago's!) And so far, they seem very happy with her. Yea!

•  $14,000. The place where she was employed when she fell and broke her elbow finally ponied up with a settlement that will pay off her medical bills and maybe leave enough for a down payment on a much-needed new car.

•  A nice boyfriend. Regular readers will remember "Archie Bunker," the former sportscaster that my friend dated briefly and was so smitten with. He was angry and insensitive and an all-around ass. Through the website Christian Mingle she met a lovely man, not as "glamorous" as Archie, but very good to her.

•  Her kids. They're still all drama/all the time. But her son (now 23) may be finally be preparing to leave her nest. The first step is paying to get his car fixed and drivable. Then he hopes -- sometime in 2014 -- to move out and share an apartment with a friend. He has anger issues and the sooner he's out of there, the better.

She is a funny, warm person and deserves to be happy. I hope 2014 continues to bring her victories, large and small.