My neice, Becky, is finally going to be baptized on August 22. She is not a baby, far from it. She will be 14 in November. This baptism is her doing. She engineered it for herself, and her younger brother (who is going into first grade). I am so proud of that girl.
My kid sister did not have the same introduction to organized religion that my older sister and I did. By the time she should have begun confirmation classes, my parents' marriage had deteriorated to such a sad state that other things took precedence. My sister fell in love with, and then married, a lapsed Catholic son of a not-so lapsed mother. It was easier for them to have their wedding in a non-denominational church. When my neice and nephew were born, it was easier for them to not have the conversation with his mother about not having the kids baptised Catholic. At least that's what they say. Since Mike's mom has been dead for years and my sister never belonged to any church, they were never clear about what faith they would raise their children in instead.
Which is because it simply wasn't a priority for them. This concerned me. I used to ask them where the kids would go for answers to the big questions about God, fate, death, the afterlife, etc. My sister actually said, with a straight face, "the Internet."
My neice has always been very bright and an independent thinker. When she was barely in Kindergarten, we were walking around town one day and she asked, "If there's only one God, where are there so many different churches?" As she got older, she became concerned about sin, and punishment -- both on a macro level (war) and on a micro level (her own anger). It came to a head when my sister heard Becky crying herself to sleep because she had enjoyed teasing her obnoxious kid brother. Was that a big enough sin, would it displease God enough, that she would end up in hell?
So much for my sister's plan that, when confronted with the big questions, Becky just Google "Jesus."
Becky's pain convinced her parents that it was time to shop around for a church. They ended up at the one where my late grandmother was very active, where my sisters and I were baptised and I was confirmed. That was fine, except the services are too early and it's such a drag to get the whole family dressed and to church on time. My lazy ass sister wondered if Becky would think about some other nice church, with more convenient showtimes and a nearer location.
My neice politely, but seriously, stood up to her mother. She wanted to go to this Lutheran church. To Becky, the fact that two generations of women before her worshipped there made it the church she wanted to go to. She told her parents that she understood how hard it would be for them to get the whole family to services and not to worry about it. She could there on her own. She could ride her bike.
This completely got to my brother-in-law, who has always had a special and very lovely bond with his little girl. No, he said he'd go with her. He has been as good as his word. He drives her over, attends the service with her. He also drives her to her Saturday confirmation classes, and the Monday evening volunteer work she does (currently cleaning and folding the used bedding that's been donated for the homeless).
In order to be confirmed with her class, Becky has to be baptised. She is in junior high. Being baptised like a baby during a regular service, in front of everyone, made her too nervous and embarrassed. She discussed it with the pastor and he is bending the rules to allow her to be baptised between services on August 22. And, thank goodness, her kid brother is being baptised at the same time and will start Sunday school in the fall. Saving him the turmoil she's gone through.
Becky doesn't have any real friends in her confirmation class. She likes the kids she volunteers with, but they're already in high school and she doesn't have much in common with them. This isn't about social connections or peer pressure. My neice has found peace through worship.
She has done this on her own. I am so incredibly proud of her.
