Thursday Thirteen #18 -- Gloriously bad pop songs

Thirteen Horrific Songs THE GAL HERSELF Knows by Heart If my brain was a hard drive, I’d probably resent the memory taken by these horrible songs. But alas, my brain is as unorganized and cluttered as my home and my office, so at times I revel in the cheesiness, the complete and perfect wretchedness, of these bad, bad songs. If you’re over 35, proceed with caution. It’s very possible that once you see the lyrics, one of these songs will bore it’s way through your skull and into brain and you’ll be mentally replaying it for hours to come. 1. The Night Chicago Died. Paper Lace. “Daddy was a cop on the east side of Chicago. Back in the USA. Back in the bad old days.” 2. I Can’t Smile without You. Barry Manilow. “I feel sad when you’re sad. Feel glad when you’re glad. If only you knew what I’m going through …” 3. Afternoon Delight. Starland Vocal Band. “Rubbing sticks and stones together makes a spark ignite and the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting.” 4. Daddy Don’t You Walk So Fast. Wayne Newton. “Daddy, slow down some cuz you’re making me run. Daddy, don’t you walk so fast.” 5. Copacabana. Barry Manilow. “She lost her youth, then she lost her Tony. Now she’s lost her mind. At the Copa!” 6. The Night that the Lights Went Out in Georgia. Vicki Lawrence. “The Georgia patrol was a-making its rounds and he fired a shot, just to flag them down and a big-bellied sheriff grabbed his gun and said, ‘Why’d you do it?’” 7. Candyman. Sammy Davis. “Who can take a sunrise and sprinkle it with dew, cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two?” 8. You Should Be Dancing. The Bee Gees. “Whatcha doing on your back? Whatcha doing on your back? You should be dancing. Yeah. Dancing. Yeah.” 9. She’s a Lady. Tom Jones. “She always knows her place. She’s got style, she’s got face. She’s a winner.” 10. Top of the World. The Carpenters. “I’m on the top of the world, looking down on creation. And the only explanation I can find is the love that I found ever since you’ve been around.” 11. La La La (Means I Love You). Bobby Sherman. “La la la. La la la. There ain’t nothing in this world I couldn’t do. La la la. La la la. My dreams would all come true if I had you. La la la …” 12. Indiana Wants Me. R. D. Taylor. “If a man ever needed dying, he did. No one has the right to say what he said about you.” 13. Honey. Bobby Goldsboro. “She came running in all excited. Slipped and almost hurt herself. And I laughed till I cried.” Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. dewey 2. Thomma Lynn 3. impworks 4. tink 5. Candy Minx 6. Nancy 7. Nicholas 8. Sue 9. Sobeit 10. Janet 11. Jill 12. elementary history teacher 13. JennyMcB 14. Lene 15. Cordia Amant 16. Frances 17. marcia 18. L-Squared 19. Wacky Mommy 20. Gabriella Hewitt 21. Fence 22. Ctina 23. Leigh Ann 24. Amy 25. Titania Starlight 26. Nancy J. Bond 27. Harlekwin 28. Mo 29. Mz. Jackson 30. Terra

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Apparently now only Frank Sinatra understands me. Alas, he's dead.

In last night's dream, I was reunited with an old boyfriend. I ran into him innocently enough. I was accompanying a female acquaintance (didn't know her well and can't recall if she was a coworker or a client) retrieve her coat from the stereotypical Chicago steakhouse where we had just dined. Seems he now lives above it. (In real life he's a corporate VP and lives in New York, but never mind.)

I bid adieu to the woman and went up to his studio apartment. I don't know why he lived here. As a matter of fact, I didn't even seem surprised he was living here.

I was completely thrilled to see him again and we started making love. I interrupted the action to go to the bathroom. I returned to bed (the only piece of furniture big enough for two) and we resumed. I then heard someone on the other side of wall, making a lot of noise, as though to let us know he was there.

My once/future lover got up and opened the door to the adjoining room and there was a young Frank Sinatra. He seemed to sense that I'd be embarrassed to know that there was a man right there who could hear me sighing and oohing and ahhing. He was right.

Then I woke up.

Back to dreammoods.com:

• Dreaming that I was in a restaurant means I feel "overwhelmed by decisions/choices" or am "seeking for emotional nourishment outside of your social support system."

• Ex sex denotes my reservations about "embarking in a new relationship" or "exposing" myself and my feelings again.

No word on the significance of the young Sinatra.

You know, I go weeks without remembering any dreams at all.

I had Chips Ahoy cookies and milk before bed. It seemed wholesome enough at the time …