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THE GAL HERSELF Knows by Heart If my brain was a hard drive, I’d probably resent the memory taken by these horrible songs. But alas, my brain is as unorganized and cluttered as my home and my office, so at times I revel in the cheesiness, the complete and perfect wretchedness, of these bad, bad songs. If you’re over 35, proceed with caution. It’s very possible that once you see the lyrics, one of these songs will bore it’s way through your skull and into brain and you’ll be mentally replaying it for hours to come. 1. The Night Chicago Died. Paper Lace. “Daddy was a cop on the east side of Chicago. Back in the USA. Back in the bad old days.” 2. I Can’t Smile without You. Barry Manilow. “I feel sad when you’re sad. Feel glad when you’re glad. If only you knew what I’m going through …” 3. Afternoon Delight. Starland Vocal Band. “Rubbing sticks and stones together makes a spark ignite and the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting.” 4. Daddy Don’t You Walk So Fast. Wayne Newton. “Daddy, slow down some cuz you’re making me run. Daddy, don’t you walk so fast.” 5. Copacabana. Barry Manilow. “She lost her youth, then she lost her Tony. Now she’s lost her mind. At the Copa!” 6. The Night that the Lights Went Out in Georgia. Vicki Lawrence. “The Georgia patrol was a-making its rounds and he fired a shot, just to flag them down and a big-bellied sheriff grabbed his gun and said, ‘Why’d you do it?’” 7. Candyman. Sammy Davis. “Who can take a sunrise and sprinkle it with dew, cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two?” 8. You Should Be Dancing. The Bee Gees. “Whatcha doing on your back? Whatcha doing on your back? You should be dancing. Yeah. Dancing. Yeah.” 9. She’s a Lady. Tom Jones. “She always knows her place. She’s got style, she’s got face. She’s a winner.” 10. Top of the World. The Carpenters. “I’m on the top of the world, looking down on creation. And the only explanation I can find is the love that I found ever since you’ve been around.” 11. La La La (Means I Love You). Bobby Sherman. “La la la. La la la. There ain’t nothing in this world I couldn’t do. La la la. La la la. My dreams would all come true if I had you. La la la …” 12. Indiana Wants Me. R. D. Taylor. “If a man ever needed dying, he did. No one has the right to say what he said about you.” 13. Honey. Bobby Goldsboro. “She came running in all excited. Slipped and almost hurt herself. And I laughed till I cried.” Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. dewey 2. Thomma Lynn 3. impworks 4. tink 5. Candy Minx 6. Nancy 7. Nicholas 8. Sue 9. Sobeit 10. Janet 11. Jill 12. elementary history teacher 13. JennyMcB 14. Lene 15. Cordia Amant 16. Frances 17. marcia 18. L-Squared 19. Wacky Mommy 20. Gabriella Hewitt 21. Fence 22. Ctina 23. Leigh Ann 24. Amy 25. Titania Starlight 26. Nancy J. Bond 27. Harlekwin 28. Mo 29. Mz. Jackson 30. Terra |
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