August Happiness Challenge -- Day 5

Today's happiness is alone time.  I didn't do a thing today that will sound interesting to anyone else: I wrote, flipped back and forth between the Cub game and old movies, and took a walk. But I've been unhappy lately -- weary over many things great and small -- and having alone time helped me feel stronger and ready to face a new week.

 

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Useless Questions Meme

  

·             Have you ever written a song? No.

·         Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet? Twice. Both times by accident.

·         Are you superstitious? I suppose. I make a wish whenever I toss a coin into a fountain.

·         What's the most daring thing you've done? It's felt daring every time I've fallen in love.

·         Did you have a baby blanket? Do you still sleep with it? No, and no.

·         Have you ever tried to cut your own hair? If yes, how’d it work out? I mangled my own bangs once and learned from the experience.

·         Have you ever sleepwalked? Yes, when I was in first grade. In his wisdom, the pediatrician thought that phenobarbital was the way to treat it. As you can see, it set me off on a dangerous path.

·         If you could be any age, what age would you be? I felt very happy and sexy at 35.

·         What is your dream car? A towncar with a driver.

·         What is your favorite cartoon of all time? Rocky and Bullwinkle, no doubt!

·         If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first? Panic

·         Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? No

·         How many foreign countries have you visited? 5

·         If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float? Float. I believe I saw this in a Tarzan movie.

·         Do you talk in your sleep? So I'm told.

·         Have you ever slipped in the bathtub? No

·         If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be? Jennifer Aniston. Because she's funny and seems nice and could undoubtedly introduce me to some really attractive men.

·         Have you ever re-gifted? Yes

·         If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be? This year, swimming. Jeah!

·         If you could participate in an Olympic Event, what would it be? The Handbag Retail Event.

·         If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick? The Macy's on State Street. It's the store I know best, and could dispatch that $5,000 most efficiently there.

·         What do you think is your best feature? My green eyes

·         If you were to win an Oscar, what kind of movie would it be for? These days, DRAMA.

·         Which of the five senses is most important to you? Sight. I'm a reader.

·         Would you be a more successful painter or singer? Painter, I guess. I'm utterly tone deaf.

·         How many years will/did you end up going to college? One

·         Have you ever had surgery? Yes, last September

·         What do you like to collect? Books.

·         How many collectibles do you have? Plenty! In every room except the kitchen and bath.

 

 

Rest in Peace, Funny Girl!

June 1, 1926 -- August 5, 1962

"If you have nothing more to say, pray SCAT!" 

"If it wasn't for you, I'd be out in the middle of nowhere, sitting on my ukulele."

Those lines are comic gold not because they're inherently funny -- clearly they're not -- but because they were delivered by the incandescent Marilyn Monroe. 

She died of a drug overdose 50 years ago today. She's often thought of as a victim of the star system, a puritanical/patriarchal society and the wrong men. I've read countless biographies of her over the decades -- I've been a fan since high school -- and I know the sad saga well. A truly horrific childhood worthy of a Dickens character, a loveless arranged teen marriage, exploitation by photographers, tawdry casting couch sexual harassment (and that's exactly what it was), men who wanted to possess her instead of know her, miscarriages and abortions, champagne, barbiturates ... Offscreen her life was almost unremittingly tragic.

And yet on screen, she's so much fun. Marilyn is still and eternally magic. For the woman who was thought of as a joke by producers (who used her as they could and only when they had to) really was gifted.

This is her triumph. No actress who came after her has her power over the world's imagination. Children not yet born will know her name and face. One of the nice things about believing in Heaven is that I get to believe she knows this.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 4

Today's happiness: The Village Book Fair. I'm so glad that I live in a village of book lovers, where the library has three branches, and the annual fundraiser is an event. It's always offers such great values, too. This year I got myself the story of Barack Obama's mother for just $2 and a paperback Lincoln biography for $1. I also got a half dozen mysteries to send to the troops for just $3. (I bet the postage will cost more than the books did!)

Another thing I enjoy about the book fair is seeing which book is so over. There's one every year -- the book my neighbors bought in big numbers and then decided, seemingly at all once, to discard.

In 2006, it was The Corrections.
In 2007, The Nanny Diaries.
In 2008, The Da Vinci Code.
In 2009, My Life by Bill Clinton.
In 2010, Scarlett, the Sequel to Margaret Mitchell's Gone with The Wind.
In 2011, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

This year (drum roll, please) the dubious honor goes to Sixkill by Robert B. Parker.  I saw six hardcover copies of it. (There would have been 7 if I hadn't ditched my own copy already. It's really not worth re-reading.)

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Meme 250 - Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere

 

1. Do you ever feel like you are nowhere? Ever? Of course, on occasion. But it doesn't last long.

 

2. Do you keep your cool no matter what is going on around you? I either try to see the humor in the situation, or I send my mind to the happy place.

 

3. Do you feel that career should be more important than your love life? No, but I'm better at it.

4. In what way do you feel that you are unique? I'm smart and I think fast on my feet.

 

5. Do you feel that there is a part of you that you need to hide from most people? Yes.

6. Have you ever held on to a relationship even though you truly knew it was already over?  Ever? Of course, on occasion. But it doesn't last long. I know that was my verbatim answer to #1, but it also works here.

7. Would you say that you are a winner in this game of life? The game isn't over yet, so I can't say for sure.

8. Can you tell us about a time when you were broke and yet still happy? In my late teens when I got my first apartment. I was all alone, by myself, completely independent, and thrilled by the experience. Even being broke seemed like part of my Ann Marie-in-New York/That Girl fantasy. (Though how she afforded all those clothes with her spotty employment history remains a mystery to me.)

9. Do you think staying celibate between relationships important? I don't think it's any of anyone's business but yours.

 

 

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 3

Early Fridays. We get out at 1:30, though some start leaving at noon. I admit I haven't been using these free afternoons for anything productive (today I took a nap!), but I sure do appreciate them.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Singing the blues

I'm in a slump. Nothing BIG is wrong ... but everything small is. Everything! From the melon on my chicken and fruit salad (I HATE melons) to TCM wasting a day of Summer of the Stars on Johnny Weismuller.

Maybe I feel this way because of yesterday's full moon. Maybe it's that I'm deprived of precious alone time now that I share an office with three other people.

Whatever is causing it, I have been here before. I know I must not take it all too seriously because it'll pass. It will!

I think it started with some friction at work. The first incident left me feeling vulnerable and frustrated because it's one of those situations where I have responsibility and no authority. Then the second one was a run-in with my boss. He's very confidently going down the wrong path -- wrong for our client, but fun for us, the creatives. I guess my lack of enthusiasm registered on my face because he snarkily snapped, "You can make all the faces you want, but it's what we should be doing." I was very proud of how I responded with nothing but business-related reasons, when I wanted to say, "And you're only being so dismissive because you know I'm right." He told me the next day, "I know we both think we're right, but I'm not budging." I tried to get taken off the project, but no, I'm stuck doing something I don't believe in. So that's adding to my agita.


Then there was being disrupted as soon as I got out of the shower Thursday, frightened by an aggressive banging on my front door. I peered through he peephole and saw a man in a familiar deep blue uniform and a badge. What the fuck? Who's sick or dead? Who needs help?

The officer on the other side wanted to know about my across the hall neighbor, a man I have never seen. The officer wanted to know when/if I saw anyone come in or out. Because I remember all the drama and danger surrounding Crazy Old Neighbor, two years ago this time, I was eager to help. I told him the only person I remember coming to see my across-the hall-neighbor was a young woman who pounded on my door ("aggressively, like you did," I said) who wanted to know where he was, and where did he get his doormat. I told her, "You don't know how much I don't care about that doormat," I responded, annoyed, and she told me it had been hers in the home they shared and he stole it. I told the officer she walked off with it.

He asked me if she was Hispanic and I said I didn't know. "Who notices that sort of thing?" I asked. "She wasn't Swedish and she wasn't African-American, but beyond that, I don't know."

Then he asked me how long I lived here in town, checking out my attire (bathrobe, no makeup, bare feet) he wanted to know if I was getting ready for work, and did I work downtown. Hey ... These are not cop questions …

I answered some but not all and turned it back around to my neighbor. And the cop who, it dawned on me, never said he was a cop. And don't they usually go on calls like this in pairs? Where's his partner?

Turns out he is a cop but not on police business. He was acting as a village "task force process server," and was there to let my across-the-hall neighbor know he's being sued for child support. The other questions? He wants to go out with me because I'm "so funny." Really, he doesn't meet a lot of women who seem "as much fun" as me.

I was so mad! How dare he frighten me like that! And when I mentioned that I thought he was impersonating an officer to get a date, he smiled and said he never told me he was a cop. He gave me a piece of paper with his name on it (Derrick) and made me promise to call.

Oh well. I'm trying to find the pony in this shitty story, so I'm enjoying the fact that a (not unattractive) man will ask me out, even when I'm all fat and pimply and have no makeup on.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 2

Thursday's Happiness: Being asked out when I truly, least expected it. Wet hair, bathrobe, no makeup. It was a messy situation and I'll detail it later. I'm not happy it happened, but I am glad I learned that I am not physically repulsive when completely unadorned.

Here's a brief explanation of the Challenge: "Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world."

If you play along, let me know.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #182

 

THIRTEEN THINGS TO DO IF YOU LOSE YOUR JOB

Yet another one of my friends was laid off on Wednesday, and I have felt the blade on the back of my own neck several times over the last three years. So voluntary unemployment is very top of mind for me. If you know anyone who could use these tips, please pass them along.

1) Tell everyone. Unemployment has touched just about everyone. Either a friend or a family member has found themselves in your predicament. You'll find a lot of sympathetic ears and a lot of good advice.


2) Get your own email ... pronto! I'm always surprised how many people only have email through work. We live in an online world, and you can't afford to be without email for your job search. Also, once a company lets you go, they will suspend your access to the Internet so you should have all your important personal files at your fingertips ... at home.


3) Update your LinkedIn profile. If you're not already at linkedin.com, get over there! Lots of prospective employers are bypassing recruiters and reaching out to candidates directly through Linked In.


4) Find out about your unemployment benefits. They differ from state to state. But, if you were laid off, you're entitled to them. Get them.

5) Figure out what to do with your healthcare insurance. NOW. Sick people can't go on interviews. As expensive as this insurance is, you can't afford to be without it.


6) Look at your budget. See what you can cut. Do you really need Showtime and HBO? Remember, in addition to books, you can also get DVDs from your library, so get rid of Netflix. Bring coupons to the grocery store and switch to store brands. You get the idea.

7) But don't skimp on yourself. It may sound shallow, but you have to keep up your appearance. You're going to be meeting new people as part of your job search and you can't unmake a bad first impression.


8) Work on your job search every day. From now on, think of getting your next job as your current job.

9) Try new things. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Join a book club. Sing in the church choir. Doing new things will keep you sharp and, just as important, expose you to new people … who know people … who could have job leads.


10) Explore continuing education. Are there computer programs you could learn? Would a class in business writing help make you more employable? Your local community college could be a terrific, affordable resource.


11) Supplement your income. There are websites like Sitter City and Craig's List that match people with dog walkers, tutors, etc. Maybe you have skills that can bring in extra money every week.

12) Make sure your resume presents you in the best light. Perhaps a resume writing service can help. It's an investment in yourself and your future, and it may be tax deductible.


13) Tell everyone! Yeah, I know I said it before, but it bears repeating. Having a supportive network around you can make you feel positive, and a good outlook can make all the difference in the world at a time like this.

For more information about 

the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

My best friend hung up on me

Because he didn't want me to hear him cry. He had just been laid off with no benefits and no severance. He feels like such a failure, and he doesn't know how to face his wife and daughters. After I called him back several times and got no answer, he shot me an email, apologizing for "dropping the phone."

My feelings about this are very complicated. Of course I'm heartbroken for him. On the other hand, he hasn't liked this job for a while, and maybe this is an opportunity to try something new. But then, there's the HOUSE. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, a den, and multiple fireplaces. They will never be able to sell that sucker in this market. So whatever he does next, he has to make enough to pay that freaking mortgage. I never thought that house was a good idea, but that doesn't mean I don't hate being right.

I also wish he didn't feel embarrassed about the tears. This is ME, after all. He knows I'll love him no matter what, that I have faith in him. And that his family loves him, too. I told him they treasure him for who he is, not what he does. I'm very good with being right about that.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 1

Today's happiness is: a good lunchtime. It's sunny and 88º today. Funny how cool and comfortable 88º can feel in this summer of 100º+ temps! So I tucked my paperback in my purse and headed out for a walk. The sidewalks were full and it was fun to look at my city through a tourist's eyes. One woman actually stopped in the middle of the crosswalk at Wabash and Madison to take a photo from under the el tracks. I guess the sight of trains rambling along a seemingly endless expanse of overhead tracks is pretty amazing. I'm just so used to it that I don't really see it anymore. 

Then I stopped at a little Italian restaurant I'd forgotten about. You have a place like this in your town, you know you do: pictures of Sinatra and local sports heroes, flat screen TVs on the walls. And a bar! (Don't tell anyone, but I had a beer.) I enjoyed my individual deep dish pizza and then walked back along Michigan Avenue and Millennium Park. I wish all summer could be this temperate, and all lunches could be this relaxing. 

Here's a brief explanation of the Challenge: "Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world."

If you play along, let me know.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I Want Wednesday

I want these zits to fade! The three marks on my chin are still a loud, angry red.

I made $25 yesterday

My freelance work is continuing, and I sat on the phone with my client for a half hour to discuss the next phase so I'm perfectly justified billing her for the consult.

I figure that, when all is said and done, I should make between $500 and $750 from this leg of the promotion.

The money is nice. Who wouldn't like to receive an incremental $500 in the mail? But more than that, I like how eager Kathleen's team is to turn to me. I'm not feeling a lot of love here at the office, at my straight job, and plants grow toward the light. So I'm happier to work on the freelance.

Not pleased

I don't like looking in the mirror today. I have three (count 'em -- three!) zits across my chin. I'm fat. I hate myself.

And how are you all this fine Monday?

Trifecta

This week's challenge: Using between 33 and 333 words, compose something that includes the third definition of the following word:

NORMAL (noun)  

          3: a form or state regarded as the norm : standard

I don’t think I completely understood the fan phenomenon until I agreed to go to Las Vegas with an old friend because she specifically wanted to spend her 50^th birthday seeing Barry  Manilow.

When I told them at the office I’d need Friday afternoon off, and why, my colleagues didn’t try to hide their amusement.

“Barry Manilow? Isn’t he dead?”

“Leave Manilow alone! I loved ‘The Pina Colada Song’ when I was a kid!”

My twenty- and thirty-something coworkers confused Manilow with Neil Diamond, Tony Orlando and Rupert Holmes (who wrote and recorded "The Pina Colada Song”). This reflects not only the generational divide, but the amount of mainstream attention Barry Manilow receives.

Yet Fanilows insist he remains at the epicenter of show business, and when confronted with anything Manilow, they leave normal in rearview mirror.

For example, after we checked into our room at the Las Vegas Hilton, our first stop was not the slots nor the pool. It was The M Store to check out the official Manilow merchandise. I told her to pick something and we’d call it her birthday present. She passed the Barry t-shirts, chef’s apron, and the thong referred to as “the B String,” and settled on a bottle of exclusive M Fragrance ($44.99).

We weren’t alone in the store. It was filled with Fanilows who also made the pilgrimage. When I wondered aloud why so many kitchen magnets featured beagles, my naiveté was met with exasperated sighs and a chorus of explanations about Bagel, Barry’s dog.

We sat side-by-side at the show, yet while I saw an old man in orange stage makeup that made his spiky blond highlights and caps look so bright they could be radioactive, she saw a sex symbol.

I admit that of that night’s audience, I was in the minority. Barry’s a fan favorite, no doubt about it. And while the experience left me scratching my head, it made her happy. So to each her own!

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Too Tired to Think Meme, Part 2
 

26. What type of errands do you like running? I like going to Petco. That's about it. The rest of the utilitarian errands -- bank, post office, grocery store -- kind of annoy me.

27. Have you ever eaten snow? Sure. Don’t all kids try it?

28. What color are your bedsheets? I just changed them yesterday. These fresh ones are white with blue geometric shapes.

29. What’s your favorite flower? Carnations. I love how common, inexpensive and very pretty they are.

30. Do you do ballet? No. I’m tragically uncoordinated.

31. Do you listen to classical music? No. Hate it.

32. What is the first TV Theme song that pops in your head?

33. Do you watch Sponge Bob? Not recently

34. What temperature is it outside right now? 75º

35. Do people consider you smart? Yes.

36. How many piercing do you have? One on each lobe.

37. Are you signed on [to] AIM? Nope.

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together? Why would I do this?

39. How do you feel about your family? Depends on which family member and when you ask me.

40. Do you have an iPod? Yes.

41. What time do you go to bed? When I feel like it. I’m a grown up!

42. What CD is currently in your CD player? Van Morrison at the Movies

43. What movie do you know every line to? A Hard Day’s Night. “Him? He’s a villain. A right mixer. And he’ll cost you a fortune in breach of promise cases.”

44. What is your favorite salad dressing? Kraft Lite French

45. What do you want for Christmas this year? A smaller waist

46. What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where? Both my oldest friend and older sister are in Southern California (2000 miles away).

47. Do you like hugs? Depends on who’s doing the hugging.

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? I don’t recall exactly. Probably right before a client presentation.

49. What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? Phonetically.

50. Last person you hugged? My friend John

Not cool

When I took a bag filled with pastas and rice and tuna over to the food pantry, I was shocked to see a Mercedes Benz convertible with the top down. The chrome was shiny, the red and black upholstery was gorgeous. It was parked right in front of the door in the private lot. If I may channel Friends, "Could you be more insensitive?"

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Moves Like Jagger

1. Who makes the best moves in your life? My friend John. Though my best friend tells me he's a good dancer, I've never actually seen him move.

2. Tell us about a time where you had to be selfish with your time, and felt guilty about it (whether it was time taken from your children or a significant other). I have often pretended to be busy and then just stayed home. Once I begged off a picnic, pleading migraine, and then was busted when the hostess (a former coworker) saw me heading toward the movie theater when she racing to convenience store for a bag of ice. UH-OH! She was furious and never spoke to me again. I felt bad about it at the time, but I got over it.

3. Do you feel that you can create more sex appeal or that it's just a given? Yes. I believe some men are just so unbelievably gorgeous they take your breath. On the other hand, I'd rather do Bruce Willis than Brad Pitt, even though Mr. Pitt is more conventionally handsome. (Please don't forward this to Brad. The news that I don't want him could break his heart.)

4. Do your religious beliefs really influence your behavior? Yes. Of course.

5. Do you feel there are some things in a significant other that you can't change because of their sex? Yes. My shrink (a woman, btw) told me that it often seems that men have a finite number of words they can utter in a day and when they reach that number, they shut up. I have found that to be true. Men can hydraulically shut down in the communication department.

6. Do you see a younger less secure person when you gaze in the mirror? No. I see a pudgy middle aged woman.

7. If you have ever been pregnant, or have been with a woman who was, how did effect your sex life? As a heterosexual woman who has never been pregnant, I have no idea what to do with this question.

8. What would you like to work on to become a better person? I'm working on loving and supporting my friends without bossing or judging them. And, in response to Question #4, I try to stay on track by remembering a Bible passage: "We are the clay, God is the potter, and we are the work of His hands." Meaning those I love are exactly as they are supposed to be. It's not MY place to change them.

9. When did you think that you understood the sacrifices that people in the military make on behalf of their country? When my uncle told me what he went through in Vietnam. He was drafted, and he said nothing, NOTHING prepares a kid for being shipped to a foreign land where people are trying to kill him. There's also an awesome book about Sen. John Kerry's time in Vietnam called Tour of Duty (written by Douglas Brinkley, who also edited Reagan's diaries, in case you think the author brought political bias to the story). After reading this, it will wash over you just how unutterably ugly those 2004 GOP "Swiftboat" ads really were.

They're not all millionaires

I just discovered that the average actor in the United States makes an annual salary of between $41,700 and $61,880.

That helps explain an interesting little bit of trivia I came upon about actor Leonard Stone. You know him. He's been on every TV show from Perry Mason in the 1950s to M*A*S*H in the 1970s through LA Law in the 1990s. For me, he will always be Sam Beauregard, father of the Blueberry Girl, Violet Beauregard in the original Willy Wonka movie.

Anyway, in 2000 Leonard Stone was a (non-celebrity) contestant on Wheel of Fortune. He placed second, winning $4,250 in cash and a trip to Bermuda valued at $5,310. To a working actor (not a star) making about $50,000/year, cash and a trip to Bermuda was probably very nice, indeed.