Bad Gal!

I should be wrapping. I have sooo much wrapping to do. And yet, here I am, blogging and watching Nancy Grace on CNN.

Am I not the laziest gal ever?

Heads or Tails #19 -- Anything Round

Since this week's theme is "anything round," I am going to pause for a moment to reflect on nickels. Yes, the 5¢ piece.

They annoy me because I always have so many and I can't seem to use them. The pop machine here at work won't accept nickels (oh, it says it accepts them, but don't be fooled; they just fall straight to the coin return). The washer and dryer in the basement at home only accept quarters. I suppose I could use them to add value to my transit card, but a one-way ride is $1.75 and it takes so long to plunk nickel after nickel into that machine.

So I have begun using my nickels for good. I try to keep a few in my pocket in all times to share with the homeless or, now that it's Christmas, with the Salvation Army. It's more satisfying to hear them drop into the kettle or cup of someone who needs them than to simply curse them for not being quarters.

If you'd like to play along yourself, click here.

Tuesday Tunes #14

Holiday Word Association

Holly: Holly, Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives (I never thought I'd include Burl Ives in Tuesday Tunes)

Tree: River by James Taylor ("It's coming on Christmas/they're cutting down trees ...")

Hug: I'm Happy Just to Dance with You by The Beatles ("I don't need to hug or hold you tight/I just want to dance with you all night ...")

Ice: Baby, It's Cold Outside -- as done by so many, many artists ("I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice")

Give: Bubbly by Colbie Caillat ("Under the covers staying dry and warm, you give me feelings that I adore")

Take: Take Me in Your Arms (Rock Me a Little While) by the Isley Brothers and/or the Doobie Brothers

Try: Try (Just a Little Bit Harder) by Janis Joplin

Drink: Heart and Soul by Marcia Ball ("You take a drink, then pass the bottle around/You give a wink, and my heart hits the ground ...")

Party: I Don't Want to Spoil the Party by The Beatles

Rest: Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 ("Come and rest your bones with me …")

To play along yourself, click here.

So this is what 40 looks like?

I wish I looked this good at 40. I wish I looked this good at any point in my life. On behalf of all us on Team Aniston, "Atta Girl!"

Christmas songs!

This week's Give Me Five is devoted to "favorite holiday songs." I'm listening to my Christmas playlist right now, so what could be easier?

1. Sleigh Ride by Andy Williams*
2. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland
3. Merry Christmas, Baby by either The Boss or The King (I love 'em both)
4. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) by Barbra Streisand
5. River by James Taylor

To play along yourself, or to see how other bloggers responded, click here.

*11 months out of the year, I give Andy Williams no thought whatsoever. But between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I demand Andy.

Thank you, Wonkette

One thing about our guv that we have all always agreed on, we love his hair. Which this post almost from late last week almost made me laugh till my Classic Coke came out my nose.

Important hair characteristic: Fuzziness.

One thing to keep in mind about Blago is that even though he has ascended to the almost God-like height of governor of a decaying Rust Belt state, he is still an ordinary human like you and me. He still puts his pants on one leg at a time, and he still requires a six-figure no-show job for his wife, so he can continue to afford pants made out of solid gold for him to put on one leg at a time. Thus, his hair is not some perfect Platonic ideal that can be described by a clean and elegant mathematical formula as a curved and unbroken surface wrapped around his head; rather, there are numerous tiny hairs frizzing out from the top of his ‘do, each one a reminder of his essential, flawed humanity (that and the corruption).

Important hair characteristic: Imperviousness.

You must always remember that Blago is a working-class man of the people. You fancy types, all you need is a hairdo that can survive cocktail parties and meetings where you stack up huge piles of gold coins and count them while giggling foppishly. But our Blago needs to take his hair out and engage in the sort of activities that ordinary Chicagoans enjoy — like, for instance, going down to the old watering hole and frolicking in an enormous pool of feces. Throughout it all, his hair must remain unmussed — and that’s the sort of endurance that it displays in this cartoon.

Important hair characteristic: Gelatinous unity.

As already noted, Blago’s hair is massive enough to generate a gravitational field detectable at a macrospatial level. But what are the larger cosmological implications of this? After his hair has assumed a spherical shape, the individual fibers will begin to break down, the hair molecules intermingling into a single semi-solid body kept in place only by its mutual attraction, resulting a huge, planetoid wobbling (see the motion lines!) at the crown of good governor’s skull! In the next logical step, the hair will begin attracting extraneous matter into its gravity well, eventually creating a Hair Black Hole that will destroy us all. We must isolate him in a gravity-free containment cell before it is too late!

OK, this one isn’t about Blago’s hair at all (and deserves some kind of Medal of Restraint for that decision). And sure, it’s all fun and games to depict the sinister governor in handcuffs, but we need to ask: Did so much attention really need to be spent on the way his pants bunch up around his ass? With that, I wish you a happy weekend of thinking about Blago’s buttocks!

Wonkette : A Children’s Treasury Of Cartoons Featuring Rod Blagojevich’s Hair

Posted using ShareThis

Where's the patriotism?

En route to finding something else, I stumbled upon a list of blogs that gleefully tie Barack Obama to Rod Blagojevich. Maybe Rahm Emmanuel will be prosecuted! Maybe Obama will be forever tainted! You can almost hear the clapping of hands and smacking of lips.

The man hasn't even been sworn in yet, and some on The Right are already drooling over his demise.

Don't you people get it? If Barack Obama does well,
WE ALL do well!

Barack Obama has been trying to distance himself from Blagojevich for some time. Some say it's because he knew the Governor was nuts. Others claim it's because the Governor has been under investigation almost since he took office. I personally believe it's because Rezko is the slender thread that connects them, and who wants to go there again? The reasons don't matter really. It appears that there's barely more of a relationship between my erstwhile Senator and my Governor than there was between Obama and Bill Ayers (don't get me started). Even in his bugged conversations, Blagojevich complans about how all the Obama team is willing to show him is "gratitude." Fuck them, my Governor replies, clearly hoping for money which would not be forthcoming.

But the complete and utter silliness of the conspiracy theories isn't what bothers me. It's the delight some on The Right are exhibiting at the prospect of Obama being crippled politically before he even takes the oath of office. How sad that their ugly compulsion to be right about him outweighs their love of country. Shame on them.

I always wanted Bush 43 to prove me wrong, to turn it around. It's a source of profound sadness that he didn't.

Barack Obama needs our support during these extraordinary times, and those who can't give it should examine their motives.

Sunday Stealing #12

Sunday Stealing: The Christmas Meme

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Depends on the gift. I go with the bags if the shape makes it impossible to wrap.

2. Real tree or Artificial? I have a 5 ft. tall artificial tree, but I doubt I'll get around to putting it up this year.

3. When do you put up the tree? Ideally, I'd have it up now but I haven't been able to get it together.

4. When do you take the tree down? It's artificial, so under better circumstances (like if I had it up), I'd take it down after the New Year arrives.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yes, but I find a little goes a long way. (Not because of the booze, but because it's so heavy.)

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Blaze! Nothing else comes close. I remember coming into the livingroom and seeing my pinto rockinghorse under the tree and completely believing in Santa.

7. Hardest person to buy for? My uncle. He's very wealthy and doesn't need anything. He also has Parkinson's Disease and can no longer travel. Ironically he enjoyed Key West more than I do, and I still go each year to ring in the New Year. So I made a contribution to the Florida Keys SPCA in his name and will include their note with some artwork I picked up at a Key West art fair during my last visit. This way, when the inevitable hurricanes hit in 2009, he can watch the coverage on CNN, knowing that his gift helped protect the Key West cats. I'm pleased with this gift, and, even more important, I'm sure he will be, too, but it's soooo hard to come up with something engaging for him.

8. Easiest person to buy for? My 16-year-old niece. She loves cooking, the Beatles, body sprays, cash ...

9. Do you have a nativity scene? No.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Nothing springs immediately to mind.

12. Favorite for Christmas dinner? I don't care much about the main course one way or the other, but I love to pig out on the cookies.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I shop all year around. (For example, those small paintings I'm giving my uncle -- I picked them up in Key West a year ago.)

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes. This year I'm taking the Burt's Bees gift set I got from my cousin Rose for my birthday and putting the individual items in a little red stocking, adding a little chocolate, and giving it to my admin before our office Christmas party. (Shh!)

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? See #12. My niece is becoming quite the baker, and I'm eager to see what cookies she brings.

16. Lights on the tree? If I put my tree up, it would have white lights.

17. Favorite Christmas song? "I wish I had a river I could sail away on ... " Written by Joni Mitchell. I love James Taylor's version. I think it's because I know at times "I'm so hard to handle, I'm selfish and I'm sad." My favorite traditional Christmas carol is "Joy to the World."

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Just going to my mom's -- two towns over.

19. Angel on the tree top or a star? If I put my tree up, it would have a kitty angel at the top.

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Eve.

Not fair!

Well, here's an ugly turn of events. I've haven't blogged about it until now because it's hard to think about it without crushing my Christmas spirit.

My former boss was very ill last spring. It was a terrible tale. He went in for what promised to be a "minor" procedure for prostate surgery (that is, "minor" for the urologist who performed it, but naturally, scary for the patient). The actual procedure was fine -- he's blissfully cancer free. But the anesthesiologist screwed up royally, leaving my boss literally fighting for his life. He missed weeks and weeks of work, and then when he was ready to return to the office, he could only go in three days a week. He really wasn't feeling better and able to contribute fully until after the 4th of July.

So in all, he was weak and unable to work full-time from mid-April until early July.

Seems his boss decided that, now that times are tough and they have to cut payroll, they can get along without him. After all, they got along without him through spring and into summer.

So now here he is -- a cancer survivor in his mid-50s, out of work at the holidays.

My heart breaks for him.

HE DID NOTHING WRONG!!!

I have friends who struggle with financial issues, family issues, romance issues, employment issues ... and while I love these people and try to share their burdens, I can objectively point to a moment where they "shoulda/woulda/coulda" made different choices that might have mitigated their current unhappy situations. (I don't say this -- most of the time -- but I can see it all the same.)

My former boss' situation here is different. His doctor caught his cancer early and referred him to a urologist who operates in a world-class Chicago hospital. And look what happened.

The company he worked for is a small not-for-profit, so I understand why they have to make cuts in this economy. The market fluctuations are no more his fault than the cancer was. Yet now he spends his days at home, working the phone and the internet, trying to land another job at a bad time in a difficult economy.

I've sent him a couple cards (snail mail and email) and will suggest a time we can meet for drinks this coming week. I don't want him to feel that I've abandoned him, just because he's a "loser." (That is how he's feeling, like a "loser.") It's all I can do, really, because as I've mentioned here before, my job is none too secure right now. Still, while I can't afford to help him financially (and he hasn't asked), I can listen to him vent and be loyal. And remind him of the bright side ...

1) His wife is employed (though she's a freelancer so they relied on his insurance).
2) His wife is smart and loves him very much.
3) His daughter is done with college.
4) His home is paid for.
5) He is cancer free.

Saturday 9 -- 'Tis the Season

1. Do you enjoy receiving or giving presents more? Giving, most of the time. There are a few exceptions. One is my niece, who at 16 is a fledgling Beatle fan and is burning me a CD of her favorite George Harrison songs. I really look forward to seeing what she comes up with. (I bet there's lots of sitar ... shudder.)

2. What is you favorite holiday film? The Gathering. It's a made-for-TV movie about a rather realistically dysfunctional family who gets together for one last Christmas. It's heartwarming without being sappy, and Ed Asner plays an idealized version of my own father.

3. Have you started or finished your gift shopping? Finished.

4. What does this time of year mean to you? Tradition, family, friends, reflection, and retail.

5. What is your favorite holiday song? Secular: "The River;" religious: "Joy to the World."

6. What do you love about the holiday season? Letting those I care about know how much they mean to me.

7. What do you hate about the holiday season? Crowds make me impatient, but I'm working on that. (The applies more to New Year's -- Every year I travel to celebrate with friends in the Keys and the airports have a tendency to make me frigging nuts!)

8. Do religious ceremonies play a part in your holiday traditions? If yes, how? I attend a midnight candlelight service at my church every Christmas Eve. I have converted to a different religion than the rest of my family, so I go alone. Which is fine. The solitude (if such a thing is possible among a church full of congregants) is important to me because it gives me a chance to really honor the more spiritual side of Christmas.

9. Who will you spend the holidays with? In addition to Christmas Eve with my family, I have a couple other little celebrations that are important to me -- birthday (hers)/Christmas with Kathleen, Christmas/Hannukah with Mindy and her family, and ringing in the New Year with my friends in Key West.

To play along, click here.

"Well, I DO have a lot of Christmas spirit," she said modestly

You Are the Furthest Thing From A Grinch

You love and live for the holidays. You even love the Grinch! You're in the holiday spirit year round... because you're all about celebrating and giving.

Are You a Grinch?

Happy Birthday to me, pt . 7

And Merry Christmas, too!

Last night my best friend and I got together, face to face, for a little over 3 hours. It's the first time we've been in the same room for months, and it's better for my mood and well-being than medicine.

Let's see, what did he get me ...

• Sagittarius book and key chain. I'm pretty good about sending friends their "today is your birthday" horoscopes and he wanted to do something similar for me.
• Heavy-duty, serious booties. I keep a heater under my desk and this gift is meant to make that obsolete.
• A Beatles "365" book that catalogs each day of their lives/careers from 1964 to 1971.
• A movie quote trivia game -- which enabled me to kick his ass

(My Christmas gift to him was a pair of ornaments to commemorate his family's trip to Europe this past spring.)

His bosses promise that he'll be in Chicago more often this year, and that makes me so happy. I'm at my best, most peaceful when he's around.

Thursday Thirteen #96 -- This Just in from the North Pole

THE THIRTEEN REQUESTS
SANTA CLAUS RECEIVES MOST

According to ChristmasGifts.net, these are this year's 13 most-often requested gifts for boys and girls, as determined by 4,500 letters to Santa.

1. Clothes
2. Doll
3. WII
4. Cell phone
5. Toys
6. Nintendo DS
7. Laptop
8. iPod
9. Household (I don’t know what this means, either)
10. DVDs
11. Video games
12. Car
13. Puppy

While I've got you in a toy-giving state of mind, why not head over to the Today Show Toy Drive? There you'll find directions on how to share a little Christmas joy with needy kids without even moving away from your keyboard.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

And the hits just keep on coming!

This just in:

Source: 'Senate Candidate 5' is Jesse Jackson Jr.

U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. is “Senate Candidate 5,” whom Gov. Blagojevich was considering appointing as Barack Obama’s replacement in the U.S. Senate under the belief the governor would get at least $1 million in campaign contributions, sources tell the Chicago Sun-Times.

This certainly is disappointing, if not entirely surprising. I wonder who else is going to get slimed by all this.

In less than 24 hours ...

… my best friend will be in Chicago! I don't think I've seen him since summer, which is too long between visits. Somehow, everything makes more sense when he's around.

He has some meetings tomorrow, and then he's attending his office Christmas party, but he hopes to be sprung between 8:00 and 8:30 tomorrow. I am so excited! We'll not only get to gab, we'll have a chance to exchange gifts (my birthday and his Christmas).

My secret love's no secret any more

I was appalled by what I heard today about my governor, Rod Blagojevich, a man I contributed more than $400 to in 2002 and voted for twice. I was insulted by how cheaply he regarded Barack Obama's Senate seat ... and WRIGLEY FIELD! And yet … and yet …

I am so hot for Patrick Fitzgerald. He looked and sounded as though anger steeled his resolve to bring Blagojevich down. I love that he had the power to drag the Governor out of his home at 6:15 AM. And that he did it! Usually, when the alleged perp is high profile, he's given the opportunity to turn himself in. This morning, Patrick Fitzgerald gave the order to cuff Blagojevich and bring him as if he were a common street thug, not the Guv.

Patrick Fitzgerald, I love you. With the retirement of Greg Maddux, I need a new straight-arrow, geek-chic dream date, and I choose you.

Nailah Franklin Update -- Suspect Now Has Representation

Last month, the man about to stand trial for the murder of Nailah Franklin had second thoughts about representing himself and has accepted the assistance of the Cook County public defender’s office. I apologize for being so late in posting this development.

For those of you who aren't familiar with this case, Nailah Franklin was just 28 -- with a promising career, a supportive network of friends and a family who loved her -- when, in September 2007, she was kidnapped and murdered. I didn't know this young woman personally, but her story touched me. For example, while she was missing, Nailah's sisters held out hope that she was still alive because "her spirited and strong personality would help her survive." Friends recalled that she loved shopping and "all things Oprah." She volunteered at the Chicago Urban League, and was eulogized as "not a star, but a superstar."

Those close to her didn't want her to become just another "missing black woman statistic," and neither do I. Nailah Franklin deserves to be more than that.

I choose not to use the murder suspect's name here because I personally believe he's guilty and don't think he deserves notoriety for what he did. If after his trial I am proven wrong, I will publicly apologize. But for now, I choose to spotlight this lady instead. And my thoughts are with the family and friends who have to spend yet another Christmas without her.

This is just awful

Our governor was greeted this morning at 6:15 AM by FBI agents and taken into custody. He was released on his own recognizance and left the Federal Building by an underground ramp. Reportedly he's still wearing his running shoes, running pants and turtleneck.

According to the indictment, Rod Blagojevich tried to trade Barack Obama's Senate seat for favors and offered to have the State of Illinois buy the Cubs and Wrigley Field off the Tribune Company ... if they would fire their entire editorial board.

He's been under investigation for so long, I can't even remember when all the corruption talk started. But this is more blatant and awful that I'd imagined. I wish I could find it funny, but I don't. It's just sleazy and sad and I can't stop thinking about it.

Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald said that right now, Abraham Lincoln must be spinning in his grave. I agree.

It's official. It's sad. But it's time.

He grew up in Vegas and makes his home there today, so it just stands to reason that he'd make the announcement there, during the baseball winter meetings. The headlines read:

PITCHING GREAT MADDUX ANNOUNCES
RETIREMENT

FORMER BRAVE MADDUX RETIRES

NEXT STOP: COOPERSTOWN

Through 23 seasons, Greg Maddux won 355 games (more than any other living pitcher), 4 Cy Young Awards … and my heart.

I know he will go into the Hall of Fame as a Brave. Whatever. He will always be this Cub fan's favorite Cub.

Bah Humbug!

Ron Santo denied Hall of Fame entrance

LAS VEGAS - Ron Santo's quest for the Hall of Fame remained on hold Monday when he was denied entrance by voting of the Veterans Committee.

With the 64 living Hall of Famers voting in the post-1942 portion of the ballot, candidates needed 48 votes. Santo came the closest with 39, followed by Jim Kaat (28), Tony Oliva (33), Hodges (28), Torre (19), Maury Wills (15), Luis Tiant (13), Vada Pinson (12), Al Oliver (9) and Dick Allen (7).

For his career, Santo hit .277 with 342 home runs and 1,331 runs batted in. He was a nine-time All-Star and won five Gold Gloves.

Thinking of you today ... and every day

This is the anniversary of John Lennon's murder. That tragic event still makes me angry. Not sad, pissed. Just think of the wisdom, the music, the wit we were all deprived of! Because of a crazy fan with a gun.

I am honoring John with the lyrics to my favorite of his solo songs … and a prayer of thanks that at least we will always have his music.

The "How Do You Cope?" Meme

1) You and a small group of coworkers are going out after work to celebrate finally completing a big project. How would you prefer to spend the evening? Margaritas at a nearby bar. After a couple drinks, I would slip out and go home.


2) You're in line at the grocery store and the checker is so slow. How do you respond? I check out the tabloids.


3) You have a job interview tomorrow. Do you decide what to wear before you go to bed tonight or will you put something together in the morning? The night before.


4) Does shopping make you feel better when you're stressed? If yes, what do you like to buy? Yes. I enjoy retail therapy. Especially for handbags or fragrance.


5) Does eating cheer you up when you're blue? If yes, what's your favorite comfort food? Yes. I lean to noodles -- mac and cheese, spaghetti


6) Does saying "no" make you feel guilty? Depends on the situation.


7) At a party, you're cornered by a talkative stranger. How do deal with it? I'd excuse myself and hide in the bathroom.


8) Does thinking about the holidays fill you with joy, or leave you feeling anxious? Joy. Even though I won't get it together in time to put my tree up again this year. So I guess I'll make mine joyous with guilt chaser.


9) You are trying to settle a problem over the phone. After pressing 1 for English and keying in your account number, an automated voice asks you to "wait for the next available representative." How long do you wait? 10 minutes. Unless it's something crucial that I have to get resolved.


10) Do you have any tension-related health problems? If so, what are they? I used to have tummy troubles. They're pretty much gone now. I guess I'm more zen than I was in my younger days.


I'm not tagging anyone. But if you play along, let me know so I can compare your responses to mine.

Thank you, Silver

My blogging buddy over at The Quarter Life Chronicles gave me a heads-up that Jon Hamm was photographed for GQ. I don't know if I'm in love with Jon Hamm or Don Draper, the character he plays on Mad Men. I thnk I'll have to stare it this for a while to figure it out.

Sunday Stealing #11

1. When you buy a greetings card are the words or the picture more important to you? Words

2. Do you ever make gifts for people, if so what, or do you buy them? I don't make gifts. I'm not very handy.

3. Are you going on holiday this year? If so, where? I am ringing in the New Year in Key West.

4. What was the best party you've ever been to? That little bash held in Grant Park on Election Day, Tuesday November 4.

5. If you are married, describe your wedding. If not, what would your ideal wedding be like? I've never been married. If I had wed, I'd want a small, intimate ceremony. City Hall wouldn't bother me.

6. What's the most romantic thing that's ever been said to you? "You have no idea what you mean to me."

7. What's your favorite romantic song? My answer to this changes. Currently it's a little-known Bette Midler song, "Every Road Leads Back to You."

8. Favorite heartbreak song? Likewise, the answer to this changes with my mood. Right now, "If Only You Knew" by Patti LaBelle.

9. Which celebrity would you like a dream date with? Jon Hamm. Don Draper from Mad Men. Sigh.

10. Which female celebrity do you find beautiful? Kerri Russell

11. Which male celebrity do you think is attractive? Jon Hamm. Don Draper from Mad Men. Sigh.

12. Describe the kind of underwear you normally wear. White cotton Hanes.

13. If you could be in a television sit-com, which would you choose? Cheers

14. Which character would you like to be? Rebecca, I guess

15. What are your favorite boy and girl names? Michael and Grace

16. What's your supermarket of choice? Dominick's/Safeway

17. What is your best character trait? I've got guts

18. What is your worst habit? I'm a slob

19. Elaborate on your default icon. If this blog is just "one gal's musings," then I think I should identify myself as THAT gal.

20. What is your current relationship status? Barren spinster

21. Ever have a near death experience? In September, I was almost creamed by a cab

22. Name an obvious quality about you? I'm very verbal

23. What’s the name of a song stuck in your head right now? "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

24. Name a celebrity you would marry. "Mrs. Clooney" has a nice ring to it

25. Do you like pain? No

For more about this blog, click here.

Happy Birthday to me, pt. 6

Tonight my friend John and I went to Shaw's Oyster Bar, where I had fried shrimp and a couple berry martinis. Then we went to see Four Christmases. Both the movie and the dinner were a lot of laughs.

Giving Judy a lot of thought

Earlier this week I received an email from a once-close friend who literally broke my heart. Click here for a short version of this sad saga.

I have decided to ignore her message.

It's not so much the incident that blew up our friendship that bothers me. What she did to me was painful and uncalled for, but it was 20 years ago. People can change and grow. At the time that our friendship ended, she was suffering from agoraphobia. She's married now (her last name is hyphenated). So I hope that she got therapy or perhaps spiritual guidance and has found herself on track to a more fulfilling life.

EXCEPT ...

Here's what her email said, in total: "A lot of time has passed--I never read your last letter-felt I would hear things I didn't want to keep in my head/heart. Interested in how you are."

My last letter, written 20 years ago when the incident was fresh, explained in no uncertain terms how hurt I was that she not only accused me of something I would never do, but also that she waited to kick me when I was down. It's bad enough that she threw it away unread, thereby denying me the right to be heard. It's worse that she felt the need to tell me she did it.

I know how it feels to hear things I "didn't want to keep in my head/heart." Like hearing her say that she believed I hit on her boyfriend, and somehow went behind her back to expose their clandestine relationship to her sister. (Her lover once slept with Judy's sister, who considered Judy's action a betrayal; I don't know all the details because, honestly, I wasn't involved.)

Judy made bad choices 20 years ago and blamed me when they blew up on her. Blamed me when I was frightened and bedridden when they blew up on her. I resent that, but I could get over it.

What I can't get past is that she still seems to be operating without concern for the feelings of others. I had a right to be heard -- a need to be heard -- by someone I trusted who hurt me. Yet even now it seems her "wants" still supersede mine.

I have a lot of flaws. I can be short-tempered, impatient and undisciplined. But I AM an involved friend.

What I don't have, to borrow from Carly Simon, is time for the pain. Or the drama that comes from being in the sphere of someone who apparently is still a little low on empathy.

Thanks to everyone who weighed in on this. It was good to take advantage of the objective sounding board this blog offers me. I'm genuinely grateful to each of you.

A timely Saturday 9

I wrote the post below before I saw the topic of this week's meme:

Saturday 9: How Do You Sleep

1. How long do you sleep each night? Six or seven hours

2. Do you fall asleep easily? Sometimes. If I have to get up early the next morning, I have a harder time going to sleep.

3. Do you fall asleep at times not in your bed? Last night, as a matter of fact.

4. Do you listen to music or use “white noise” to sleep? Yes. I often sleep with the TV on.

5. Do you sleep through the night or get up a couple of times? Once I go to sleep, I'm asleep.

6. Do you have trouble sleeping away from your own bed? Nope.

7. Do you need an alarm clock to get you up? Yes.

8. Do you ever take medication to help you sleep? No.

9. Do you/have you slept with pets? It's up to them. I don't know how they decide when or who gets to sleep on the bed with me over night. My girl cat, Charlotte, hates my big old gray tomcat, Joey, and refuses to be on the same piece of furniture with him, day or night.

Rewarded for dozing off

I fell asleep on the sofa again. Usually I wake up at about 3:30 AM, stumble off to bed, and wake up feeling most unrefreshed when the alarm goes off at 6:00. And I promise myself I'll never do anything so stupid again.

Until this morning.

Unbeknownst to me, at dawn on Saturday mornings, channel 5 runs a show called Open House Chicago, which is really an infomercial for fabulously expensive homes throughout the Chicagoland area. This morning they featured condos in a building I have really wanted to get inside of -- The Palmolive Building.

The Art Deco building was built in the 1920s and, when I was a kid, became The Playboy Building. When Hefner's daughter took over, one of her moves was sell this fabulous building and it was developed for condos. That's when it reinstated the original name. When Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston were a couple, they considered moving here. Today it's home to Cubs' skipper Lou Pinella.

It's right on North Michigan, so I bet all the views are terrific. The rooms obviously have huge windows and, I imagine, high ceilings. But I've never seen inside. Until today!

Hello, Gorgeous! Set-in bookcases, huuuuuge bathrooms and marble fireplaces. I am in love. It would be delightful to live in a building that welcomes me home with a beacon! I simply must win that lottery drawing tonight!

Top 5 on Friday Music Meme

Top 5 albums by classic rock artists

The Beatles White Album. There may be better Beatle albums, but none is more fun. Plus, the White Album and I share the same release/birth day.

Born in the USA. Bruce Springsteen. I'm ambivalent about this one, since it's the album that produced all the hits ... and took my Bruce and turned him into an arena concert star. No more up-close-and-personal, small venues after this. But I think its success is because it was the perfect convergence of artist, message and time.

Band on the Run. Paul McCartney and Wings. Sir Paul hits his solo stride. This CD sounds so great. The song transition is almost seamless and the production is terrific.

The Eagles Greatest Hits. All meat, no filler.

Still Crazy After All These Years. Paul Simon. "I Do It for Your Love" is one the sweetest, most underrated love songs in the history of recorded sound.

To play along yourself, or to see how other bloggers responded, click here.

Oh, this is rich!

During his sentencing, OJ Simpson tearfully told the judge that he was only in that Las Vegas hotel room to retrieve what was his. It was especially important to him that he be able to give his younger daughter something of her mother's that was "stolen."

Gee, like maybe HER LIFE? Oh wait! That's gone forever, you knife-wielding maniac. (Actually I think it was a ring.)

I know that today's sentence legally and morally must be limited to Simpson's activities in that Vegas hotel room. That's why I'm glad I'm not the judge. I could never overlook those bloody dogprints in front of Nicole Brown's home.

See you in maybe 9 years, Juice.

Make your click count!

Click here for an easy and free way to help fund mammograms for those in need at The Breast Cancer Site!

Now, Court, aren't you proud of me?

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #95 -- CARING FOR CRITTERS OVER THE HOLIDAYS

13 WAYS
TO KEEP PETS SAFE
THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

I don’t usually repeat TTs, but this topic is timely and important, so we’re revisiting it.

In order to keep it fresh, I have added the photo of Abraham Lincoln's dog, Fido. When you consider how rare photography was back in the 1860s, I think it’s remarkable that a portrait of Lincoln's dog was even taken. Fido was a much-loved mustard-colored mutt, who unfortunately never made it to the White House. The President-elect was sadly aware of how frightened Fido was by loud noises and trains, and since the trip from Springfield to Washington would be made by train, he reluctantly decided it was kinder to Fido to leave him behind. So the dog made his second home with a neighbor who, while helping the Lincoln’s remodel their home, developed a rapport with Fido. The horsehair sofa you see Fido resting on went with him to the neighbor’s, as well. The Lincolns wanted to be sure Fido was comfortable in his new surroundings. When the President’s body was brought back to Springfield for burial, Fido returned briefly to the Lincoln home to help comfort the mourners, who were indeed happy to see him again.

And now, without further interruption, here are 13 holiday petcare tips:

1. When it comes to mistletoe, hang it high. If ingested, mistletoe may not only upset a tummy, it might even cause cardiovascular problems.

2. While poinsettias probably aren’t as deadly as once thought, they’re still not good for dogs and cats. They can still cause nausea and diarrhea – which can be hard on both you and your pets.

3. Turkey leftovers are not for pets. They can tend to be greasier than your dog or cat are used to, which can cause indigestion. And poultry bones splinter too easily to be safe.

4. Keep chocolate off limits! It’s not good for cats and positively dangerous for dogs because it contains theobromine.

5. Candy wrappers aren’t any good, either. Aluminum and cellophane can appear irresistible to curious critters (like my bundle of feline energy, Reynaldo), but if swallowed, they can cause tummy troubles and intestinal blockage.

6. Ditto for tinsel.

7. Make sure your tree is securely anchored. This one comes from my mom. One night, when we were all asleep, our beloved family cat Tommy decided the Christmas tree simply needed to be climbed and he toppled it. That’s when she began running a bit of fishing line between the tree and a small hook in the wall. It’s almost invisible, but it does the trick!

8. Pets and tree stands. Every year, dogs all over the country suffer tummy troubles and occasionally even sores in their mouths from lapping up the water at the base of Christmas trees. It happens to cats now and again, too, so all pet owners should be careful.

9. Watch your pets when company arrives and leaves. Those open doors can be awfully tempting. I know, because Reynaldo is always ready to make a run for it. (Fortunately, I live on the fourth floor and until he can figure out how to use the elevator, there’s really nowhere for him to go. Besides, once out in the hall, he just calls me to join him. He seems to want us to run away from home together.)

10. Keep your pet in a quiet place during holiday parties. A lot of guests can mean a lot of stress for your dog or cat. Plus you can’t be sure that every invitee (especially the young ones) knows how to be gentle with your pet. A quiet bedroom is often the perfect place for your pet to spend a party.

11. Be careful in your garage! If you decide to keep your dog or cat in the garage during a party, make sure that it’s warm enough, and that there aren’t antifreeze spills. Antifreeze is positively deadly.

12. Keep an eye on your garbage, too. Ribbons, leftovers, candy wrappers … your trash can be filled with dangerous – but irresistible – stuff this time of year.

13. Be careful when you start your car. There are lots of sad strays out there, looking for warmth. And there are still plenty of cat owners who refuse to see the wisdom of keeping their cats indoors. So to make 100% sure that you don’t hurt a cat when you start your car, hit the hood or honk the horn before you turn the key.

Now let's enjoy a safe holiday season!

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Sigh. This is all so complicated.

I hated high school. It was the 70s, after all. Welcome Back, Kotter was popular on TV, "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree" went gold, we lost in Viet Nam, Nixon resigned over Watergate, my parents' marriage was unraveling. They even tried to make me read Moby Dick! How could anyone be happy under such miserable circumstances?

Of course, life is never all bad. And when I look back on those unhappy days, I can recall some bright spots. I had one really good friend. Judy. She was smarter and geekier than I was, therefore I didn't have to hide my smarts or my geekier tendencies. Hanging with her was a relief.

Between the ages of 15 and 30, we were very close. She wasn't easy to be friends with, since she suffered from agoraphobia, but her intelligence and artistic tendencies made her worth any inconvenience.

Until 1987. More than 20 years ago. Judy was dating a photographer, an older guy (considering that she and I are both 51, right about now he must be ... dead). This guy was a recovering alcoholic who had briefly slept with Judy's sister. (HEY! I warned you this was complicated!) She asked me to try to get him a job with my employer, a haircare company that paid for a lot of product photography. While he and I were discussing this on the phone, the conversation got very personal but not (at least not in my eyes) inappropriate. He never followed up, never called any of the numbers I gave him. I thought he wasn't interested in the work and that this episode was over.

Fast forward several weeks -- I had just had some female-type surgery. I'd never had any type of procedure before and was frightened. When I got home, I was supposed to stay in bed and off my feet completely for 24 hours. THIS was when my close friend chose to confront me. When I was home, when I was scared, when I was supposed to stay off my feet. THIS is when she decides to ask me why I hit on her boyfriend.

Huh? What? Not, "Did you come on to my boyfriend?" Not, "John thought you were flirting with him, isn't that crazy?" No, she asked me why I hit on her boyfriend. He told her I did it, so it had to be true

After 15 years of friendship, of Christmases and birthdays, of late night phone calls and confidences, she just automatically accepted his word over mine. And waited until I was uncomfortable and scared to confront me. I was sooooo angry I couldn't stay still. As we argued, I paced, and hemorrhaged, which set back my recovery by a day or two.

I wrote her a letter telling her I never wanted to hear from her again, and why. And I never did.

I saw her on a train once, years later. She gestured to me across the car and I shook my head "no" and that was it. I did not want to speak to her.

This morning, I received the following email from her:

"A lot of time has passed--I never read your last letter-felt I would hear things I didn't want to keep in my head/heart. Interested in how you are."

I don't know what to do with this. I don't miss her but I am curious as to what motivated her to Google me and track me down after two decades. I also wonder why she felt it was important to tell me she never read my letter.

Receiving her email made me reflect on Me at 30 vs. Me at 50. I don't see any value manufactured dramas -- like the entire "How could you hit on my boyfriend?" scene -- anymore. I have learned that life throws enough drama our way without us creating additional tumult.

An idea stolen from Kwizgiver

10 things I'd like say to 10 different people right now:

10) You don't fool anyone when you try to conceal your boredom by yawning through your nose.

9) I love you, but let's face it, we annoy each other. I want to enjoy my vacation without tension. That's why I'm staying in a hotel instead of in your guestroom.

8) Hello, Geek Squad? I don't care what it costs, just please come over and hook up my new DVD player. It feels like it's taunting me.

7) Please don't say, "through no fault of my own" anymore. Some of your problems actually are your fault.

6) Here's the message I really wanted to write on your Christmas card: "You poor thing! You had the worst 2008 of anyone, anywhere, so 2009 just has to be better."

5) Yes, I've gained weight.

4) You're the last one I think of at night and the first one I think of each morning.

3) That's OK. I don't mind not being able to sit down in front of my locker. It's far more important that your water bottle and iPod be comfortable.

2) Sometimes I'm glad I'm old and am no longer expected to be hip.

1) I'm scared. Can I have a hug?


To compare your answers to Kwizgiver's, click here.

It worked for me

Zicam. Specifically the rapid-melt lozenges. The cold that left me feeling so achey and stuffy on Sunday is virtually gone on Tuesday.