I can't believe I'm watching this

I stumbled onto a Saved by the Bell marathon on cable and, God help me, I'm watching it. I have no idea why I'm transfixed. Maybe it's the bright 80s clothes and colors. Maybe I need mindless background noise. Maybe it's the sound of the jangling alarm clock in the opening credits. 

I love cable. I know everyone else is cutting the cord and streaming, but I'll hang on as long as I can. There's something just so deliciously random about flipping through thousands of channels and landing on a Saved by the Bell marathon.

I'm such a simple Gal.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 15

Today's happiness -- Reconciliation. On balance, today wasn't a good day. Computer trouble all around (I can't successfully download virus protection on my Mac, my bank's website is all hinky and my credit card was rejected). I didn't accomplish anywhere near what I'd planned. And yet, right now, I'm happy.

 

Mindy and I made up! I don't want to reiterate what went down to bring us to this place because I'm trying to be positive. And the important thing is that we reconnected. Also, I made myself vulnerable, and my candor paid off. (<<<Life lesson.)

We've been friends for more than 40 years. I honor our history. I am happy we're right again.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

Sunday Stealing

Summer

1. What subjects lead you down a Wikipedia rabbit hole? Have you been watching me? I often click on a link in an article that takes me somewhere that takes me somewhere else. I'd tell you about the Wikipedia rabbit hole I crawled down this morning, but then you'd know what Sam has in store for you for Saturday 9.

2. How do you like to spend your birthdays? Being fussed over. I don't have anything particular that I like, I just enjoy being remembered.

3. Something you might take a little too seriously? I feel like I take everything too seriously. A gentleman once told me I have no gift for "small talk." I guess it's no coincidence that Katie from The Way We Were is one of my all-time favorite movie heroines.

 

4. Describe a time you made a good decision for yourself. When I chose to move down the corporate ladder. I do not like being a boss. I think it's because I don't like authority, and I was becoming what I don't like. Anyway, I've been happier making less money as a writer than I was as a creative director. (Though I admit I wish I could have a boss' salary without a boss' responsibility. I'd also like to be 5'10 and wraith thin. Neither is going to happen.)
 
5. Something you’ve improved/gotten better at. Letting myself cry. Does that sound stupid? One of my lifelong battles is accepting that it's OK to not be OK.

 

 6. What dish would you bring to a summer potluck? Berries and sliced bananas. Everyone likes fruit.

7. What do you miss about Winter? The lack of humidity. It's been freaking oppressive here lately.

8. Share a summer memory. At least once every summer, my dad took us to the miniature golf course not far from my grandparents' home. It was just 9 holes and pretty rudimentary -- no clown's mouth or windmill, just a water hazard. Anyway, my dad was endlessly patient with me when we were golfing. He'd even frame the hole, making a V with his shoes, so I could aim my putt. "Take you time, Tiger," he'd advise me. This stands out because my father was always in a hurry, and for him to tell me to take my time was something special. For once he wasn't complaining or angry or anxious. I also remember him running his fingers through my hair as we returned our clubs, balls and little pencils to the little whitewashed shack. At least once a summer, it felt like my dad enjoyed spending time with me.

9. Words you misspell or misuse the most. I can never remember how to spell "diarrhea" or "occurrence."
 
10. Things you love to do, that can only happen in summer. Having a rootbeer float at the little ice cream shop that's only open from Memorial Day to (maybe) Halloween.
 
11. How would you describe your sense of humor? Irreverent
 
12. Have you ever quit a job or career? Yes. See #4.

13. What are your favorite features of your cell phone? The camera.

14. What scents always make you hungry? I get hungry when I can smell my neighbors grilling hamburgers.

15. What are you working on right now? When I'm done with this, I'm going to put my laundry away.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 14

Today's happiness -- Loving baseball. Or, to be more precise, having people in my life who get how much I love baseball.

This "happy" actually began Thursday night. I was really blue about the rather dismissive treatment I'd received from my friends Mindy and John, so I reached out to my friend Henry. He recommended I turn on "The Field of Dreams Game." I resisted. My favorite-most player Anthony Rizzo should have been playing that night, but he was out with covid, so I was afraid the game would just depress me. Henry insisted. "Turn on your TV," he commanded. "It is on Fox. We will watch it together." Damn if he wasn't right! It was very emotional for me. Especially seeing Rizzo's jersey draped over the railing, representing him. And it must be said Henry really doesn't care about sports at all. But, as he likes to say, "I know my sister."

Now for today: I just heard that Rizz is feeling well enough to begin official workouts on Monday. The moment I heard, I texted my nephew. He answered immediately, as though he was holding his phone and waiting for me. We went back and forth about the impact this will have on the Yankees' Luke Voigt, and what an asshole Jake Arrieta was in his last Cubs press conference. 

Talking baseball makes me happy. Even when I'm unhappy. I must remember this. And I'm so grateful that I have something in my life that lifts my heart like this.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Smelly Cat (1995)

Unfamiliar with this song? Hear it here.

 

1) Poor Smelly Cat lives with negligent humans who refuse to take it to the vet. Who is the last doctor you spoke to (vet, MD, dentist, PhD ...)? Probably the dentist. Lately it feels like I'm always at the dentist.

 

2) This song was introduced during the second season of Friends. Were you a fan of the show? Very much. When I battling covid, drifting in and out of sleep all afternoon, it was such a comfort to look at the TV and see the gang from Central Perk there to keep me company.

via GIPHY

BTW, anyone who acts like Covid is not a big deal is an insulting, ignorant ass. I base this on six (count 'em, 6!) weeks of fever, rash, diarrhea and fatigue. Does that sound like "just the flu" to you? Oh well, what do I know? I just battled the virus. I don't have the benefit of baseless conspiracy theories.
 

3) On the show, the song was performed by Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow), an amateur folk singer and a professional masseuse. There  was a debate on Reddit about massages -- some loved them because they are relaxing and therapeutic, others think it's "creepy to be undressed and handled by a stranger." How about you? Do you enjoy massages? I enjoy them very much, and could really use one right now.

 

4) During the run of Friends, Phoebe was roommates first with Monica and then with Rachel and finally with her true love, Mike. Tell us about one of your roommates. I've never had a roommate. Never went away to college. Never been married. Never even shared a bedroom with my sister as a girl. I've found as an adult that my oldest friend is the easiest one for me to travel and share a hotel room with. I think it's because we both snore.

 

5) Phoebe often performed for tips on street corners or at her favorite coffee shop, Central Perk. Where is your favorite place to go for a cup of joe? I don't drink coffee.

6) This song was originally called "Smelly Dog," inspired by a pooch named Gouda. The childhood pet of Friends writer Betsy Borns, poor Gouda could have smelled better. Is there an odor you'd prefer to never smell again? Vomit. Though I suspect I shall smell it again. Life is filled with such icky smells.

 

7) 35% of American households include a cat. Are there any pets at your house? These two -- Connie and Reynaldo. So I guess I do have roommates!

8) In 1995, the year Phoebe first performed "Smelly Cat," Steve Fossett became the first person to make a solo flight across the Pacific in a hot air balloon. Have you ever ridden in a balloon? No, but I'd like to try it. It looks so pretty, doesn't it? I've just never had the opportunity.

 

 9) Random question: Looking over your romantic history, have you broken more hearts, or had your heart broken more often? I think it's probably about 50/50. For me and for most of us. As the Beatles sang, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."

 

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 13

Today's happiness -- Aretha's green checked jacket. Aretha Now was my first Aretha Franklin album. I had it on vinyl. "Think" and "You Send Me" were my two favorite cuts. I spent a great deal of time in my girlhood bedroom, laying on my tummy, listening to the LP and looking at the album cover.

Anyway, today I went to see Respect, the Aretha biopic starring Jennifer Hudson. In a scene in a recording studio, Aretha/Jennifer wore the green checked jacket! I felt a jolt of recognition and happiness. It was like seeing an old friend.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 12

Today's happiness -- Reinforcement. I had a bad day today. Personally. Two of my oldest friends, John and Mindy, disappointed me. I was hurt and sad. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't work. 

So I called Henry. He wasn't picking up. Then I called my oldest friend. She didn't pick up either.

I started to watch a movie. I wasn't paying attention to it.

Then my best friend called me back. She listened to me, advised me, distracted me and then she made me laugh and laugh. 

A few hours later Henry called. Concerned about me. With all of his problems, he's worried about me.

I felt terrible, and then I felt validated as a person and as a friend.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 11

 Today's happiness -- Connie.

Reynaldo's poor health has cast such a shadow over my days that I often forget to appreciate my girlcat, Connie. She has always been just the sweetest cat. No diva to her whatsoever. Just love.

She had a rough start to her life. She was one of (at least) 11 cats kept by a well-meaning but clearly dotty cat hoarder in Indiana. When that shelter couldn't take them all, she was shipped over to a shelter here. She was in terrible shape from the abysmal care she'd received: pregnant with a litter of dead kittens, eyes cloudy and runny and light sensitive, gums bloody. 

It took some work but now she's a bright-eyed sun worshipper, happy to sit on the window sill and mew at the leaves and birds that go by. And ceaselessly affectionate, both with Reynaldo and me. This evening, I woke up from a nap to see Connie curled up on the pillow beside me. When she saw I'd awakened, she began purring very loud. 

Her soul is so simple and loving, it brings me great happiness to provide her with a comfortable, safe life.

My Cubs throw is a favorite of Connie's

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann. I've seen the movie about a gazillion times (the best bad movie ever made) and, decades upon decades ago, read and made fun of but never finished my mother's hardcover copy. Now, as a reasonable facsimile of an adult woman, I'm giving this 1966 book a serious shot. After all, I read Peyton Place this past spring and enjoyed it immensely, as both a story and a cultural artifact. Maybe it's time to give Jackie Susann and Dolls their due.

Oh. My. God. This book is ridiculous. Seriously dopey. And yet it's compulsively readable. The dialog is stupid. ("I want to meet a decent guy and get married. Then I'd be somebody. I'd be Mrs. Somebody.") The plot is implausible. (Anne got every job she interviewed for, even though she had no training or experience. Oh well, it's not like New York is competitive or anything.)

And yet I can't wait to get back to it. It's like Jackie Susann eavesdropped on every scenario pre-adolescent me acted out with my Barbies. It's sheer fantasy. Silly, a little dirty, and loads of fun.

BTW, compared to Dolls, Peyton Place is Jane Austen.

2. What did you recently finish reading?  Paul Newman: A Life by Shawn Levy. I like Paul Newman's movies. He always seemed to be striving for quality, even if sometimes he missed the mark. And he was charismatic. After he does some genuinely awful, truly despicable things, Hud explains himself by saying, "My mama loved me, but she died." And from the audience, I'm all, "OK! You're forgiven!"

This book leads me to believe I'd like Newman the man as well. He was a hard-worker, always self-deprecating and humble (even when he was box office champ and the screen's reigning male sex symbol). He took nothing for granted. Considering himself lucky, he gave back to his community and the world in spades. In comparison to his wealth, he was one of America's premier philanthropists. 

He had an enduring fondness for popcorn, practical jokes and silly hats. He took his politics and the world around him seriously. As he was dying, his last words to his daughters were, "It's been a privilege to be here." 

 

So while he was very good company for 500 pages, he wasn't perfect. Clearly he was a functioning alcoholic for decades. He cheated on his first wife with Joanne Woodward, and then cheated on Joanne with a publicist he met while on location making Butch Cassidy. He had six children but no real gift for parenting, alternating between benign neglect when he was working and intense involvement with them between films. But as with Hud Bannon, Joanne, the girls and we readers forgive him.

The problem I have with this biography, though, is two-fold. It's repetitious at times. (For example, the story of how Newman's Own Organics came to be is told twice, and to be honest, it's not that interesting. Also, either Newman was one of the crankiest celebrities, or Levy liked reiterating how intolerant he was of the price of fame.) And then there's Joanne Woodward. Clearly Newman loved her very much and regarded her as his life partner. But hell if I know why. She comes off as a bit of cypher. I wish I knew more about the woman who wooed him from his first wife and three children, and then married him herself, gave him three more kids and sustained him emotionally for 50 years.

 

3. What will read next? I don't know.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 10

Today's happiness -- Miracle Whip. My niece is a foodie, and this would appall her, but I like Miracle Whip. I recently got a jar at Dollar Tree and today I cracked it open. It's a crazy hot, humid day and I couldn't bear to go outside under any circumstances, not even to go to the store, and so I dug around in my pantry and made tuna salad for dinner. It was yummy, cheap and comparatively nutritious.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 9

Today's happiness -- Small business service. My cat Reynaldo requires prescription thyroid medicine twice/day. This cream comes in pre-measured doses in a syringe. My nearby pharmacies -- Target, CVS and Walgreens -- don't handle it, so I have to get it from the little mom'n'pop way on the other side of town.

I used to spend $35-$40/month on Ubers to get there. I wasn't happy about this, but it's Reynaldo. Plus, the staff is so charming, thorough and kind that I was happy to give them my business.

Well, when I went to leave them a glowing YELP review, I learned they offer free delivery. Yes, in addition to being charming, thorough and kind, they are super accommodating! Even on a rainy Monday afternoon, they brought me Rey's meds, free of charge.

THIS JUST IN! Going through the bag, I found that the pharmacist included a little gray toy mouse for Rey. How sweet is that!

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 8

Today's happiness -- I Love Lucy. I'm feeling weird today. It's hot and sticky outside, I have work to do this weekend that I haven't yet touched (and it's 5:00 PM). I can't bring myself to watch baseball (see post below). If it wasn't for taking out the garbage, I wouldn't have gotten dressed at all. It's Esther Williams Day on TCM, and really, her movies just bore me to tears.

Thank goodness for The Decades Channel. In honor of Lucille Ball's 110th birthday, this weekend they're showing nothing but Lucy. The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, The Lucy Show ... yeah, whatever. Might as well watch Esther Williams. But I love I Love Lucy. It makes me feel good about holing up in my bedroom under the air conditioner.

Happy heavenly birthday, Lucille Ball. And kudos to Desi, too.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

Sick with worry

 Today is Anthony Rizzo's 32nd birthday, but that's not why he's in the news. 

Here's a link to the USA Today article

Rizz declined the vaccine in June. I have been worried about this since June. His new manager, Aaron Boone, said he's "achy and has mild symptoms."

I was vaccinated the moment I was able. Back in April. So clearly I don't agree with his decision.

Even if he recovers quickly and completely, he will miss 10 games. Including those against division rivals Boston Red Sox. 10 games of the remaining 50, when his team is battling for a playoff spot.

So in addition to putting his health in jeopardy -- he's a cancer survivor! -- he's putting his career in jeopardy. When this season ends, his contract is up. He's made public comments that he'd like to stay in New York. How likely are they to sign him if he crippled their playoff hopes?

And that's if he's OK ... I had covid. I was sick for six weeks. Of course, I'm a fat, out-of-shape old lady and he's an athlete in peak condition.

But he hasn't been vaccinated. If I wasn't so worried about him, I'd want to wring his stubborn, uninformed neck.

He matters to me!

 

Sunday Stealing

DURWARD DISCUSSIONS

1.  What is the nearest book to you?  Your Kindle does not count. Jacqueline by Ron Galella. It's a coffee table book filled with the black-and-white paparazzi photos Galella took of JBKO between 1968 and 1972. I have mixed feelings about it. The photos are fascinating, capturing her as she went about her everyday life on two islands: Skorpios and Manhattan. To get these shots, he hounded her, exacerbated her feelings of PTSD, and drove her to take him to court. The judge ruled that, while she was undoubtedly a public figure, she had a right to privacy and Galella couldn't come within 50 feet of her anymore. At the time, Jackie was pilloried in the press for suing Galella, but I wonder what would have happened if Princess Diana had stood up for herself the way Jackie did. Maybe her life wouldn't have ended the way it did in that Paris tunnel.

2.  When was the last time you took a "me" vacation? The TCM Classic Film Festival in Hollywood, spring of 2019. I had a glorious time, getting my geek on among other geeks. Hopefully I'll be able to do it again in 2022.

3.  How many telephone numbers do you have? Three: home, work and cell.

4.  If you could fix one thing in the public school system, what is the one thing you would do immediately? I would do whatever is possible to keep children in school but still safe from Covid. I suppose that means mandatory vaccinations for school staff.

5.  What's your favorite Olympic event? I don't watch the Olympics.

6.  Do you watch the Olympics? See above.

7.  Who is your favorite sports team player?

Today Anthony Rizzo turns 32. HBD, Captain!

 

8.  If you could travel in a spaceship to any planet, which planet would you like to visit and why? I wouldn't. Too scary.

9.  When was the last time you sat in a church? February 2020. My church has moved services online.

10.  Are there any aspects of blogging that annoy you? Yes. But I don't feel like being negative just now, so I'll keep them to myself.

11. Have you ever gone to a party and snooped in the medicine cabinet? I did when I was a little girl. I discovered that my great aunt used ExLax.

12. Do you watch reality TV? I have.

13.  How many people can you call who have known you since you were in school? Two.

14. Who, when, and where was your first kiss? David. Summertime. Across from the hamburger stand. He was waiting for his friends, and I was bringing home a carryout order for my mom.

15. You just got thrown out of your country.  Where do you want to become a citizen? Canada. Maybe England. I don't think I could handle a new language.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 7

Today's happiness -- Rey had a good day. My little man was bright eyed, affectionate and happy. I realize as we reach the end of our time together, he will have good days and bad ones. Today was a good one. I savored it.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: The Curly Shuffle (1983)

Unfamiliar with this song? Hear it here.

1) This song is a valentine to The Three Stooges. Are you a fan? Cannot stand them! Though I do have fond memories attached to this song. Juke boxes were still de riguer in 1983 and I heard it on many a happy night at the bars.

2) It was released to coincide with the Three Stooges getting a star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame. That's the Hollywood in California. There are 23 other Hollywoods in the United States and two in Ireland. Have you ever visited any of these 26 Hollywoods? If so, which one? THE Hollywood. In California.

3) The inspiration for this song was Jerome Horowitz, aka Curly Howard of The Three Stooges. He had many signature phrases, including "nyuk, nyuk, nyuk," "woob, woob, woob," and "sointenly." Give us a movie quote, and be sure to tell us who said it.

 

Barbra Streisand's first-ever line on film:

 

via GIPHY

4) Curly's older brother, Moses Horowitz, was better known as Moe Howard. Moe was convinced that Lou Costello of Abbott & Costello developed his screen persona by stealing from Curly. It turns out he was right! Lou Costello was previewing early prints of Three Stooges films before they were released to the public. Tell us about a time your gut instinct told you something that turned out to be true. Sometimes I can sense doom. I impulsively sent a gift to my friend Reg via Amazon. Just a little surprise certain to brighten his mood. But I just knew it was a bad idea somehow. Today I got a message from Amazon that it's been delivered "near the garage." REALLY?! Not the front door? So far I haven't heard from Reg. If I don't get word by end of day tomorrow, I'll shoot him an IM and ruin the surprise. GRRR! I really would have preferred to be wrong.

5) The third Stooge, Larry, was Louis Feinberg. Though he became famous as a movie comic, he was also a talented musician. When he was 11, he received an invitation to study violin at a European conservatory, but because of WWI he was unable to go. Tell us about plans of yours that were interrupted because of circumstances beyond your control (weather, the pandemic, etc.). I was supposed to spend Christmas 2020 in Key West. But between travel restrictions and my own bout with covid, I was unable to go. (Gee! I forgot it was an overhyped hoax. Even though I suffered from weeks of diarrhea and fever and debilitating fatigue, I should have gone anyway. Bitter? Yeah, I'm still bitter. Anyone who plays down this pandemic is an unpatriotic asshole. Oh, and put your fucking mask back on.)

6) As a teen, Larry took up boxing and won several bouts. His father disapproved of the sport and put an end to his boxing career. Did you participate in sports during your teen years? I was good at archery.

 

7) Today the Three Stooges Fan Club has more than 2,000 members and publishes a quarterly newsletter filled with rare photos, interviews, trivia and a marketplace where fans can buy and sell Stooge memorabilia. Have you ever belonged to a fan club? Nope. Which is strange for a fangirl such as I.

8) In 1983, Princess Diana was the world's top cover girl. Her influence was credited for reviving Britain's fashion and tourist industries. When you think of Britain, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

 

9) Random question -- Your best friend needs help hanging a picture. Would you be comfortable holding the nail so your friend could swing the hammer? Better for me to hold the nail than to swing the hammer. I'm a klutz, and therefore far less trustworthy with a hammer than my best friend.

 

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 6

Today's happiness -- Spinach strudel. When I was growing up, my father was very vocal about not liking vegetables, especially green beans and spinach. So we never had them with dinner. As an adult, I find I enjoy them both, and today I treated myself to a spinach-and-cream-cheese strudel for dinner from the new coffee house. It made me happy.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 5

Today's happiness -- Support from an unexpected source. I posted something on Facebook today about how I struggle with pain because when I hurt, I feel like it's not so bad ... that people have endured worse ... that it's really not that big a deal ...

Sheila IM'd me. She wanted to know what to pray for to help me. She's a client I used to work with regularly until she was moved to another part of her company. She has 100s of Facebook friends and I didn't think she really read my posts.

I didn't tell her everything -- about Henry getting worse not better, about my dental travails, about my insecurity about returning to work with the Delta variant -- but I did fill her in about Reynaldo. She was very sweet, telling me to remember his whole life with me was "a double gift," to both him and me.

I didn't expect to hear from Sheila. I was warmed by how thoughtful she was. Sometimes I'm surprised when people like me. I'm like Sally Field, I guess. Remember when she won her Oscar? "You like me! You really like me!"

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

You're Welcome, New York

The Yankees have been playing in New York since 1903. In all that time, only one player has ever batted in a run in each of his first six games.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 4

 Today's happiness -- A trip to the park.  Reynaldo and I spent about 30 minutes at the park today. I put the carrier on the ground and sat with him in the dirt. There are better bugs in the dirt. (I never took him out of the carrier because dogs are welcome in the park, and no good would come of that.)

I am trying very hard to accept a situation in which I'm helpless. My little man is old and battling a full menu of chronic maladies: glaucoma, arthritis, kidney and thyroid conditions and now a bad ticker. I cannot make him young again, but I can do whatever I can to make him happy. While today was bittersweet, I hope when I look back on Reynaldo's last summer, I'll remember this as only sweet.

 

All the adventure wore him out.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

58 days

I went to my longtime dentist with a broken tooth in early April. He did a quick fix, referred me to an endodontist, and retired in mid-April.

The endodontist did a terrific job on the root canal but I needed a dentist to order and affix the crown. I went to a local dentist recommended by my friend Nancy's husband, Paul. I shall forgive Paul. 

His dentist did a good job. Prepped the tooth and ordered the crown. It was supposed to be in on June 7. He'd just snap it on and we'd be done. He told me that appointment would about 30 minutes. I was happy.

Here we are 58 days after June 7, and I'm still making dental appointments. 

•  On June 6, they called and said my crown wasn't in yet. They'd let me know when it arrived. Any day.

•  On June 15, I sent an email. No response. 

•  On June 16, I called and was told the crown was indeed in and they'd squeeze me in. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't called. Would they have let the crown just sit there forever without contacting me?

•  On June 18, I went in and the dental assistant removed the wrong crown. I am not kidding. This really happened.

•  There was decay under the crown of that tooth. But the crown was holding steady and I was in no discomfort. The tooth has been damaged by all the disruption and I am going to need a "Nesbit partial" until next year, when insurance will pay for an implant. They are giving me the Nesbit for free. We act as though I will return to them for the implant, but that is sooooo not going to happen.

•  On Tuesday I went in to have the Nesbit appliance installed. While the dentist was working on it, it cracked. It fucking broke.

•  A new one will be in within two weeks.

It's now been 58 days since June 7, when my 2021 dental adventure was supposed to be done.

I want to scream.

Photo by 8photo - www.freepik.com

He's leaving me

I stumbled upon this photo, taken not that long ago, of Connie and Reynaldo sleeping in front of the living room window and realized he no longer cares about looking outside. It no longer interests him.

Now it could be because the neighbors pruned their big tree way back and Reynaldo no longer has squirrels to scout. Or it could be because his vision is now so bad the window is just not relevant to him.

He also doesn't sleep with me anymore. He used to haunt the foot of my bed. I can't remember the last time I woke up to find him there.

I spent some time in the den on Tuesday, vacuuming and setting up plant stands. I keep the den door closed, so when I came out I expected to see his bright and curious face, demanding to know what I'd been up to in that most mysterious room. He wasn't waiting for me when I emerged because he didn't care.

He crashed my Zoom movie group on Monday night, amusing everyone when what looked like a disembodied tail repeatedly swished by the camera. But I can't recall the last time he made an appearance in a work Zoom.

He doesn't play with Connie anymore. They used to chase one another up and down the hall. He's uninterested.

His June bloodwork came back and his thyroid and other vitals appear good. However in addition to cloudy vision he has arthritis and two chronic-but-controlled conditions (thyroid and kidney) and now a heart murmur. Maybe this is the just what the end stage of his life is like.

My wild man, my skinny beige demon, is 17 years old. 84 in human years. He is dying.

I'm sitting here, pre-dawn, trying to figure out what to do. Do I want to discuss this again with the vet? Are there things I can do to improve his quality of life? 

I thought I was ready for this. I'm not.