Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Blue Christmas

 

1) Do you ever suffer the blues during the holidays? I'm working on staying upbeat. I am listening to carols and reaching out to friends and participating in our community toy drive and trying to get myself out of my personal drama (the first birthday/Thanksgiving and now Christmas without my mother and the first holiday season in years that my best friend won't be here in person). So far I'm doing OK. (Crossing fingers that it continues.) Hope everyone who reads this is doing OK, too. I realize how hard the holidays can be for some of us.

2) More than 18 million visitors have toured Elvis' home, Graceland. Have you ever been there? Oh, yes! I'd love to go back, too. It was great, kitschy fun (just like The King Himself).

3) Elvis dyed his naturally light brown locks black. Do you dye your hair? I used to dye it red. Then I quit and let it go back to the natural light brown. Now I have it highlighted to cover those silver threads that are beginning to appear at my temples. (Which reminds me -- Saturday is my year-end trip to the salon and must remember to bring my stylist his gift!)
 

4) He also insisted his young girlfriend, Priscilla, dye her hair jet black. If your lover asked you to change your hair, would you? I don't know because no man has ever asked me.

5) Elvis served his country at an Army base in Friedberg, Germany. Have you ever been to Germany? Yes. I went to Munich decades ago. I still use my Hofbräuhaus beer stein. That's where I collect quarters for the laundry.

6) Elvis famously had an affair with Ann-Margret during the filming of Viva Las Vegas. Have you ever indulged in a dalliance with a coworker? Yes. More than once. And each time I tell myself it's a bad idea and I'm never going to do it again. It's just I spend so much more time at the office than I do anywhere else!

7) Thinking of his movies ... Elvis was, by and large, unhappy with his film career and once said, "The only thing worse than watching a bad movie is being in one." Are you happy with the way your career is going/has gone? Sometimes I feel very lucky that I get paid to write. And yes, considering that I have less formal education than most of my coworkers, I'm proud of how well I've done.
 

8) Elvis lost "the battle of the bulge" toward end of his life. Are you happy with your weight? NOOOOO! And honest to God, I'm gonna lose weight in 2013.
 

9) As a teenager, Elvis worked as an usher at a movie theater. What was your first job? I babysat. I loved it. The only job where you get paid to watch TV and eat potato chips.

 

"One of a kind"

That's Mr. Grinch -- one of a kind!

I had the pleasure of seeing it Wednesday night and was completely delighted. It's a trifle, just 90 minutes long. And it's more than a little corny in places.

But Stefan Karl played The Grinch and Stefan Karl is certainly, as the song says, "One of a Kind!" He has a great voice and a lanky frame he used as though he were a diabolical Dick Van Dyke. The Tribune review refers to him part Harvey Fierstein, part Christopher Walken and part Richard Nixon, and I don't disagree.

Aside from delighting grownups like me, this Grinch was a hit with kids, too. Stefan Karl successfully played a bad guy called "Robbie Rotten" on a popular children's show called Lazy Town, so he knows how to reach his audience.

He is the hit of my Christmas season. Don't ask me why, I don't know the reason. Perhaps his head isn't screwed on right. It could be, perhaps, his shoes are too tight ...

Holidailies -- Day 7

Today's prompt: What was the best thing you ever received for the holidays?

Blaze! He was my Big Gift from Santa the Christmas I was 5. I had been wanting him desperately! I knew him from both TV commercials and the Sears Christmas catalog. Blaze galloped (moving back and forth) and trotted (up and down) and neighed and whinnied when you pulled "the magic ring."

My mother had fond memories of me wearing a straw cowboy hat, feeding Blaze imaginary sugar cubes and climbing onto his back to ride "through the countryside." Once I learned the truth about Santa, I also heard how much my father hated Blaze. My dad complained about how the only store that still carried Blaze that close to Christmas was Zayre, which was always too crowded … that he was embarrassed hauling Blaze through the parking lot … that my beloved horse's shape made him impossible to get into the trunk ... It's always made me a little sad that my father couldn't take pleasure in how much joy my pinto brought me. He would have enjoyed Christmastime -- and, in fact, his whole life -- more.

 

 

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #200

To celebrate my 200th entry, I'm going to do my favorite kind of TT -- 
one devoted to movies. 


THIRTEEN GREAT MOVIES FROM 1987

Twenty-five years ago we enjoyed an embarrassment of riches at the movies. Here are thirteen that gave us catchphrases that still crop up in conversation today.

1) Wall Street. "Greed is good." Michael Douglas

2) Moonstruck. "Snap out of it!" Cher

3) Dirty Dancing. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Patrick Swayze

4) The Untouchables. "They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!" Sean Connery

5) Planes, Trains and Automobiles. "Those aren't pillows!" Steve Martin

6) Fatal Attraction. "I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan!" Glenn Close

7) Princess Bride. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Mandy Patinkin 

8) Broadcast News. "I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time." Albert Brooks

9) Lethal Weapon. "You think I'm crazy? You wanna see crazy?" Mel Gibson

10) Good Morning, Vietnam. "Good morning, Vietnam!" Robin Williams

11) Running Man. "I'm not into politics. I'm into survival." Arnold Schwarzenegger

12) Three Men and a Baby. "We're going to need some kind of cleaning fluid to get this off." Tom Selleck

13) The Witches of Eastwick. "I'm just your average horny little devil." Jack Nicholson.

For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

Holidailies -- Day 5

Today's prompt: Write a letter to Santa

 

Dear Santa:

 

I want to feel it. I want to feel the energy, excitement and good will that comes with Christmas. But alas, I'm simply feeling the spirit just yet.

I miss my best friend. Last year at this time, I was toiling away on the truly terrific Christmas cookies I made for him -- from scratch! I was so proud of that gift! This year, he's unemployed and no longer has a way to fly to Chicago on someone else's tab, so we won't see one another. This leaves a terrible void.

So Santa, if you could, please deliver him to me somehow.

Thank you.

I Want Wednesday

I want to not eat so much. I had an Italian beef sandwich, a bag of chips and a cookie for lunch and now all I want is a nap. Just because the chips and cookie are included doesn't mean I have to eat them right then and there. I have no self restraint whatsoever!

Not happy

Early last month, I saw Kinky Boots with my friend John because, at the last minute, my theater buddy Barb forgot she had signed herself and her new dog up for obedience class that night. He and I had a nice time, but it resulted in a lot of agita -- a flurry of the last minute "I'll meet you in the lobby/no wait, I can make it in time for a drink after all" calls that I hate. I like my entertainment to be without agita.

A few weeks ago, I missed Sister Act. It wasn't a play I really wanted to see -- it was part of our subscription series. But I did spend over $60 on the ticket and we didn't make curtain simply because my friend Barb couldn't get out of work on time.

Tomorrow we were supposed to meet for dinner and go see How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  That ticket was about $40. I was looking forward to it. Not just because Barb promised to bring my birthday present, but because I've been trying to feel more Christmas-y and thought this would help.

Barb blew out her knee. Shit happens. I understand that. I'm sorry she's in pain and completely sympathize with how uncomfortable sitting through a 90-minute play would be. We were going to still meet for dinner and I was going to the play solo. Guess what. She just now told me she won't be able to make it. Work, again.

Next up is The Book of Mormon. I have been waiting to see this show for, literally, a year, and was very excited last winter -- yes, it was January 2011 -- when our tickets arrived. That's how hot Book of Mormon tickets are. And we had great seats for early in the run! It opens Tuesday and we'll be there Wednesday! Yea!

Well, no. After nearly a year, Barb also let me know she can't make it next Wednesday, either. She has an out of town client meeting on Tuesday and isn't sure she'll be able to make that curtain.

I'm going anyway. I'm going to see The Grinch tomorrow right after work, and instead of our high-end dinner I'll eat McDonald's, but I'm going. Same with Book of Mormon. She's sending the tickets to me by messenger.

These tickets are always expensive. I pay for them in advance. Barb makes a great deal more than I do -- her salary is double mine -- and this is one of those times when the disparity shows. I hate the last minute stress of looking for a seat filler. Not everyone can commit to being in The Loop at 7:00 or 7:30 -- not if they have to deal with rush hour traffic and or public transportation. Clearly Barb can't, either, and she works within walking distance of the theater district.

When she can walk. I feel terrible about her knee. That must really suck.

But I'm unhappy about how our 10 year-plus Wednesday night tradition is shaping up. Too much expense, too much stress. Not enough fun.

Holidailies -- Day 4

Today's prompt: Tell us about your favorite holiday book or movie

No question: Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. It's not only my favorite holiday movie, it's by far the best version of the Dickens classic.

Yes, it's aimed at kids. But it remains faithful to the framework of the original material and hits all the high, hard ones about Scrooge's life: his relationship with Marley and money, Fezziwig, Belle, the Cratchitts. It has songs I remember ("We'll have the whitest Christmas, the whitest brightest Christmas, a Christmas far more glorious than grand ..." and "A hand for each hand was planned for the world, why don't my fingers reach? Millions of grains of sand in the world, why such a lonely beach?"). And it has sin and fear and redemption and joy ... all in an hour.

Holidailies -- Day 3

Today's prompt: Which holiday song do you think should be banned from the airwaves, and why?

It was outrageous and funny when I was a teenager … and I haven't been a teenager for decades. I suppose every year it gets played because every year we have a new crop of teens. But that doesn't make me any less sick of it.

Still, for the sake of those turning 13 this year, here it is. Let's just get it out of our collective systems and move on! (Damn you, Elmo and Patsy!)


Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack,
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
(On her way home)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Now we're all so proud of Grandma,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle
That would have just matched the hair in grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
"Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves."

Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

He doesn't hug anymore

My nephew, that is. I suppose it's not surprising. He is, after all, a man of 13 now. But it did make me sad to see him climb into the car without giving me a goodbye hug.

We went to see Lincoln at my local movie theater. I am impressed by how well he followed it and how interested he was in it. Then we went to Five Guys for burgers and hung around at my place for a while so he could play with my cat, Joey. My nephew and my big old tub of guts have always had an affinity for one another, even when my nephew was a baby and unknowingly a little too rough with cats.

Holidailies -- Day 2

Today's prompt: What are you most looking forward to this holiday season?

Giving my nephew his gift and then finding out how he enjoys it.

He's a teenager now -- 13! And his sense of humor is getting more ... well ... rebellious and joyously vulgar. Recently he discovered Wayne's World and enjoyed it so much trick-or-treated as Wayne Campbell.

So this year I'm taking it to the next logical level: I'm introducing him to Bill Murray through Meatballs and Ghostbusters. Soon he'll experience the terror of The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and will be inspired by Trip's half-time speech.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Not So Manly Meme


1. Boxers? Briefs? Boxer briefs? Thongs? Bikinis? Commando? This lady prefers Hanes Her Way cotton panties.

2. What’s your fussiest personal care routine? I'm always careful to exfoliate before I apply antioxidants and moisturizer.

3. Do you have a favorite tool? Power or manual? This is why I have a handyman.

4. Can you change your own oil? Do you? I take trains and buses and they employ mechanics for this very purpose.

5. What’s the “manliest / 'womenliest” thing you do on a regular basis? Linger at the cosmetic counter.

6. What’s something “manly” that you never learned how to do? Urinate on a tree

7. Do you ever cry? If so, what’s your trigger? I'm not a big crier. But certain movies do set off the waterworks.

8. Do you have a chivalrous streak? How does it manifest itself? Yes. And it's manifesting itself by my being so polite that I don't tell you what I really think of you providing the link with the definition.

9. Do you have a chauvinistic streak? How does it manifest itself? Gee, I don't know. What does "chauvinistic" mean? OH, WAIT! That's just my sarcastic streak manifesting itself.

10. What’s your favorite movie? The Way We Were. I believe this is the 21st mention of it on this blog.
 

11. What’s the dumbest, testosterone-inspired thing you’ve ever seen? Adolescent boys on their bikes and skateboards. They display little fear and less sense. 

12. What quality do you think makes a good man good? Do you have that quality? Not unlike the quality that makes a woman good -- integrity. And yes, I try to display it.

13. Toilet seat up or down? Really?

14. If your significant other is away, do you cook for yourself or eat out of cans and boxes (or rely on local drive-throughs and delivery)? I rely on drive throughs and delivery regardless of the company.

15. What societal expectation of being a man / women do you most resent? Huh?

16. What’s the best part - societal-wise - about being a man / women? This meme reminds me of the conversations leading up the Billie Jean King-Bobby Riggs tennis tournament ... in 1973.

17. Will you stop to ask for directions? Of course.

18. What’s one thing about your significant other that you just cannot understand, no matter how hard you try? Why doesn't he leave Pam Dawber for me?

19. What do you need to have in the shower? Shampoo and conditioner..

20. Do you burp/fart/scratch? Do you do anything stereotypically male? I don't think it's possible for anyone go through life without ever burping/farting/scratching. As far as doing something "stereotypically male" ... hmmmm .... I guess my passionately following the Cubs year after year might be considered more masculine than feminine. (Or maybe just more optimistic than pessimistic.)

Holidailies -- Day 1

Today's prompt: Introduce Yourself. I'm just a blogger who really, really wants to feel the Christmas spirit. The season is less than a month long and I want to enjoy it. In years gone by I have really loved the carols and decorations and sense of pervasive good will. But this year, I'm struggling.

The biggest reason for this is my mom's passing. She died on September 13 of this year, and she was the hub of our family at the holidays.

And that means our family traditions are evolving. I realized over Thanksgiving that while our family traditions were familiar, they weren't necessarily happy. As my mom's life drew to a close, I made a conscious effort to "keep a lid on things," to get along because I wanted our time together -- hers and mine -- to be as peaceful and pleasant for her as possible. I kept thinking of the lyrics to a Beatle song, "Two of Us": You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches on ahead.

Spending Thanksgiving in a restaurant, all dressed up like a big girl, surrounded by dear old friends felt more comfortable than many of the tense, awkward holiday meals I've had in the recent past with siblings.

So I'm making my way through this first, pivotal holiday season without my mother the best way I know how -- with my words. Over the next month I expect to miss her a great deal, but I also hope to discover a lot of joy, too.

For more about Holidailies, click here.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Beer Barrel Polka

1) Have you ever danced the polka? They made us dance the polka as part of PE in junior high school. Square dancing, too. It was horrific.

2) Frankie Yankovic was a stellar accordion player. What instrument have you mastered, or would like to learn? I wanted to learn the guitar, but my fingers are stubby and I had a bitch of a time reaching around the frets.
 
3) When Frankie died in 1998, his obituary proclaimed him as "America's Polka King." Lucille Ball was "The Queen of Comedy" and Michael Jackson was "The King of Pop." What royal title do you deserve? I like Queen of All She Surveys.
 

4) Do you like light beer? Yes, especially Miller Lite. My subjects love me because I'm a simple monarch with common tastes.

5) In 1901, daredevil Annie Taylor successfully went over Niagara Falls in a barrel. She was badly bruised but otherwise fine. How much money would it take for you do to do something that dangerous? I'm entirely too old for such nonsense. Though I suspect there was a time when I might be tempted to do something dangerous/stupid.

6) When was the last time you visited a pet store? Last week. And I'll return over the weekend. Regular kibble run.

 
7) What's your favorite salad dressing? French
 

8)  Sam Winters is crazy about her smart phone. She uses it to take pictures, record videos, listen to tunes, answer emails and surf the net and, oh yeah, she even uses it to make calls. How indispensable is your mobile phone in your day-to-day life? I'm notorious among my friends for seldom even having my phone on. It calls out, it takes calls, and I can access email and texts. That's more than enough.
 

9) "Kocham cię" is "I love you" in Polish. Can you say "I love you" in a language other than English (and Polish)? Te amo. Te adoro.

 

Good news!

Lately, when it comes to finances, I haven't had much good news. But today's mail did make me smile.

First I got word from the bank that my property taxes will be going up, and therefore there's a projected shortfall of $1261 in my escrow account. BOO!

But then I opened a check from MetLife. It wasn't easy, but I was finally granted $2083 from my mother's estate. YEA!

We still won't be out of my mom's house until mid-January at the soonest, but let's not think about that right now. Let's just be happy that I can pay off my unexpected escrow bill and have money left over.

An award!

I have been blogging for a million years now (give or take) and it still surprises me and warms my heart that I have readers and cyberfriends. That's why I'm grateful for this award from Pearl. If you get a moment, go over and check out her blog. 

I already went the full nine yards with this particular award a few months ago, so I'm not going to tag others. But to celebrate Pearl naming me, I'm going to give six things about myself and answer her 11 questions.


6 Things About Myself:

1.  I don't know why I'm fascinated by true crime shows, but I am. Right now I'm watching the new ID channel. (At least it's new to my cable company.)

2.  Today's payday, so this is top of mind: I pay many of my bills online, and yet I'm resistant to going completely paperless and eliminating the monthly bills. I don't know why. Loyalty to the United States Postal Service?

3.  I miss baseball.

4.  I suffer from very dry skin in winter.

5.  My worst quality is my laziness.

6.  My best quality is that I think fast on my feet.


And here are my answers to Pearl's questions:

1.  Sunny, Rainy, or Snowy? Sunny. But I also enjoying seeing the sun glint off the snow.
2.  Is the glass half-full or half empty? Half full

3.  Have you gone on a leisurely trip this year?  Where would you like to travel next? I'm going to Key West to see my dear friends in just a few weeks. We ring in the new year together. I can't wait to see them!

4.  Do you love your job? I like my job. In this economy, I'm grateful for it, too.

5.  What's your most treasured material possession in the world? I have a silver-plated ring, a band with an engraved lotus design. It's hardly fine jewelry, less than $100 new. But it's pretty and it fits perfectly and I feel naked without it.

6.  What's your favorite reading material? Your favorite author? I love books. Old school books. I haven't moved onto e-readers yet. One of my favorite authors is Robert B. Parker. I felt terrible when he passed away almost 3 years ago.

7.  Do you cook?  What's your favorite food (the one food you can't live without)? I'm the world's most inept cook! And I have a fondness for steak.

8.  Which do you prefer, shopping online or at the mall? Yes! I love retail in all its forms.

9.  Do you exercise? How often?  What's your favorite form of exercise? I try to exercise 3 times/week. And over the past four months I have failed miserably. At any rate, I like cardio. I have to make myself work out with weights.

10.  Christmas tree: plastic or real tree? Plastic. I worry about a real tree drying out and being a fire hazard.

11.  Do you like to watch news?  What's your favorite news program? I'm a news junkie! My favorite show is Morning Joe on MSNBC. The host is a former congressman, a conservative Republican, and his co-host is a progressive Democrat. I enjoy the civility of their conversations and how much I learn from hearing them interview guests from all across the political spectrum.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #199

 THIRTEEN UP-TO-THE-MINUTE THINGS ABOUT ME

I stole this from some other blogger. I apologize for not giving him or her attribution but I no longer remember where it came from.

1. Outside my window… is the neighborhood's fanciest and tallest apartment building. I'm surprised no one seems to have their Christmas lights or tree up yet.

2. I am thankful… that my Thanksgiving Day birthday celebration went so well. I'd been dreading it, but I actually had a nice time.

3. In the kitchen… are the cats' no-longer-full bowls. They just ate and are now contentedly napping.

4. I am wearing… an I LOVE LUCY nightshirt.

5. I am creating… yet another TT!

6. I am going…to avoid Coca Cola for the rest of the evening. Damn that caffeine!

7. I am reading… I Remember Nothing by Nora Ephron. It's delightful.

8. I am learning… to lean on people more. Lately my friends have really come through for me when I have needed support.

9. I am pondering… what to do with the coupon from my local salon. Massage? Eyebrow shaping?

10. A favorite quote… "East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does." Groucho Marx

11. One of my favorite things… NCIS. If you see Mark Harmon, tell him I love him.

12. A few plans for the rest of the week… l'm taking Friday and Monday off. Gotta burn those vacation days before the end of the year.

13. A peek into my day… I have a client presentation Thursday. It's a conference call. I hate those because I suspect my audience is really playing "Hang the Butcher" on their end and not really paying attention at all.

For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

Trifecta

 

This week's challenge: Using between 33 and 333 words, compose something that includes the third definition of the following word:

HOLLOW  

 

3  : lacking in real value, sincerity, or substance : false,meaningless 


I revisited the challenge from August -- to write the last 33 words of my book -- and then added the 33 previous words in September. Today I worked backward again with another entry of exactly 33 words (in bold). I enjoy the exercise of working backwards and seeing where the story takes me … in reverse.

When the verdict was announced, the whole gallery gasped. Except me. I sighed with relief. My expression of sorrow was as hollow as Sam’s explanation that he had committed this crime “for us.”

The bailiffs surrounded him. He removed his watch and that gold stud I gave him long ago and handed them to the public defender. He very nearly maintained his dignity despite the handcuffs.

Twenty months will grind inexorably by until it brings us to the next shared moment in our sad saga – and when Sam is released from prison, I’ll be there, waiting at the gate.

About the photo: Life Magazine makes a library of their archive images available for free to use for “non-commercial personal purposes."

 

Giving Tuesday

The holiday season is as important to the average charity's bottom line as it is to a retailer. And, just as Black Friday is the "official" start of the Christmas shopping season, so Giving Tuesday has been introduced to kick of the holiday charity season. As they say on the site, "We have a day for giving thanks. We have two for getting deals….Wouldn’t it be great to have a day for giving back?"

So today I'm sharing the joy of books. I'm dropping two children's books (Buddy Finds a Friend and Lightning McQueen vs. Francesco) into the bin for our building toy drive and sending a couple others to the troops c/o Operation Shoebox. 

I don't feel like it

"It" is anything. I don't feel like doing anything.

Last night, while en route to dropping off Andrea's gift for The Giving Tree at Whole Foods, I found myself in the middle of a woman's bumper. She was so excited about being able to turn right onto the busy street that she neglected to look at what was right in front her -- which would be me. And she was angry at me. She even asked me if I wanted her to kick my ass! She was so obviously wrong, and her temper was so ridiculously over the top, that I thought she was kind of funny.

But then tonight, while taking the train home, my seatmate loudly accused me of trying to push her off the seat. I was doing no such thing. In fact, I was taking up very little space, as I was using my Kindle Fire and didn't even need to turn the page of a newspaper or magazine. I know that a lot of commuters are angry about the new cars, and she seems to be one of them. Hostility was just radiating off her. And because of our close proximity, I found it hard to find any humor in the situation. I mean, we were physically touching.

And I talked to my kid sister today. She is finally done cleaning out our mother's house and has been on the phone to people who run estate sales. And, she told me, "You were right. No one will even discuss doing a sale now until after January 1." Being right doesn't mitigate our being responsible for another month of utilities and now snow removal. (And I promise, it will snow before mid-January.) Plus, I'd really like this behind us. It will be four months on January 13, and four months to get out of the house is too long, and it's not healthy.

So I'm just kinda blue right now. Fortunately I have a loudly purring Joey right here, giving me his fat and loving support.

Happy Birthday to Me, Part 5

I have devoted much blogsplace to my tortured relationship with Kathy. Our relationship spans the decades, and it's been exhausting, at least for me. I had decided last spring to sever our ties.

I didn't want to have a big blow up. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. After all, I'm more than willing to accept that there's something inherent about me that sets her off (certainly my own sisters find that to be true). I just wanted her to go away. It was beyond time to end this little dance we do.

But she won't let me go! Over the past 9 months she has given me a no-reason-at-all gift, taken me to breakfast, sat through my mom's visitation and service ... I feel like I'm being wooed.

Yesterday she came out and took me to breakfast for my birthday, and gave me a big bag of chocolates as a gift. It was nice. And, since I couldn't bear the thought of throwing it away and Kathy is the only other grandma among my acquaintances, I gave her a small token that I was going to include in my mother's upcoming birthday gift -- a magnet I picked up in Colonial Williamsburg that says, "I may not have fame or fortune, but my grandchildren are priceless." It made her cry.

So I guess we're friends. I'm conflicted about this, because I'm not sure I can get past all that has occurred over the decades, and I think that being friends implies I can.

But she has been so sweet and loving and, even though she's never said it, I can tell she's sorry.

So she stays in my life. At arm's length, but she stays here.

Happy Birthday to Me, The Mail Edition

Forgot to make note of the two gifts I got through the mail!

•  Hello, Gorgeous! My friend, Mindy, got me this book about Barbra Streisand's early career. It was a thoughtful gift and I've already made a dent in it.

• A Barnes and Noble giftcard. $30 more in books from Cousin Rose. I should appreciate her more. She has loved me since I was a little girl, and I fear I take her solid, steady, decades-long support for granted.

I love presents, and I love old-school snail mail, too. So I'm happy.