THE QUEEN'S MEME

1. What is your typical weekend like? I don't have a "typical" weekend because I like to leave them as unstructured as possible. In the words of my idol, JBKO, "The only routine with me is no routine at all."

2. Are you a party animal or a couch potato on the weekends? Couch potato. I actually prefer going out on Wednesdays and Thursdays because I find that Fridays and Saturday are the province of desperate amateurs bent on getting wasted and behaving badly. I far prefer it if my excessive alcohol consumption and bad behavior evolves naturally as I socialize with friends on a weeknight.

3. It wasn’t until 1940 that the two-day weekend became nationwide. I say it’s time for three-day weekend across the whole world! Wouldn’t you love to work 4 days and off 3 all the time? Do you think this is a good idea? Yes. But only if everyone else had to work the 5 day week. I'd love to have the grocery store, veterinarian office and post office all to myself every Monday.

4. Do you consider Sunday as a traditional day of rest? No. I consider it my traditional day of watching the morning news shows and then praying for the future of my country and the world. (And that's really only the slightest exaggeration.)

5. What are your around-the-house weekend chores? Grocery shopping and laundry.

6. If you have a significant other in your life or are dating, what is your favorite indoor and outdoor activity? Since I don't have an SO, I guess it means I don't have to answer, right?

7. Where would go for a romantic weekend getaway? Chateau Elan, a spa and winery just outside of Atlanta. I have been there 3 times, and it's bliss.

8. Do you have any special weekend traditions, quirks or rituals? I try for as much alone time as possible. My coworkers think I'm quite blabby and social, which amuses me because I don't think they have any idea how much that sociability takes out of me. I also try to touch base with my mom, my niece and nephew, at least by phone.

9. What is your weekend blogging routine? Saturday 9 and Sunday Stealing

10. Tell us about your favorite weekend memories as a child? The swingset in the backyard. We briefly had a slide, but eh. I didn't care about it one way or the other. But the swings! Flying through the air inspired so many games and fantasies!

SAVE YOURSELF! Avoid Her Majesty's dungeon by playing the Queen's Meme yourself. Click here.

Brags, Gratitudes and Desires

Liberated from Snarkela.

1. How have you totally impressed yourself, turned yourself on, pleased yourself, or otherwise created magic lately? That’s a BRAG.

I have been parting with clutter as part of my Clean Me initiative. This morning I noticed that my bedroom carpet need vacuuming, which is noteworthy because it's been a while since I could see that bedroom carpet. I'm nowhere near caught up yet, but it's satisfying to see that these little things, like tossing out more than a dozen magazines, done regularly really do have an impact.

2. For what are you thankful? What blessings are right here? What blessings are on their way and you want to give thanks in advance? And what currently-challenging situations in your life are you going to affirm as blessings in shit-brown wrappers? Those are GRATITUDES, or “grats” for short.

The sky is blue, the sun is warm, the skyscrapers are awe-inspiring and Millennium Park is green and gorgeous. I love Chicago, and am fortunate to live here and grateful to be able to take it in. I see people every day who are so zoned out, so wrapped up in getting where they're going that they miss the scenery along the way.

3. And what are you craving? Yearning for? Realizing the world needs? What marching orders from the universe are written on your heart in the form of desires? From wanting “this headache to go away” to yearning “to know my divinity” to realizing “I want to be a mother”, no DESIRE is too big, too small, too “selfish” or too far-reaching.

My response here echoes SnarkyPants': I want to feel good. I am fat and I tire easy. I want to get well. I have had health problems this year and they are wearing me down. But I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm trying to race toward it.

If you want to play along, let me know in the comments so Snarky and I can compare our answers to yours.

A good lunch

It's a sunny 81º. I wandered out of the office, walked past Millennium Park, and just happened to land at Pizano's, an Italian restaurant I have never visited before. I had a big burger, fries and a beer for just under $20, including tip, which I could afford. I read a few pages of my book and happened to look up at the TV when one of the sports channels announced one of Joe Namath's passes as the second most important of all-time, and it's always good to see Joe Willie in all his green-eyed glory. En route to the ladies' room, I spotted a photo of my beloved future Hall of Famer, Greg Maddux, in his Cubs uniform.

On the way back, I wandered among all the tourists (including very exuberant members of the Class of 2014) and landed back here at my desk.

A beer, burger, the sun shining down on my favorite city, sports heroes ... it's helped my mood immeasurably.

Now what made me think of this?

For some reason, a very specific moment popped into my head this evening. I am a little girl -- this was pre-Beatle, so I must have been 5. I am sitting in an aisle seat in the dark. A very, very tall man appears at my side, so light on his feet I didn't hear or sense his arrival until he was there. I'm not frightened, I am entranced by his agility. He bounces in place beside me for a few moments -- I don't think I ever looked up at his face, I only remember his big hands and his very long legs. Then the music gets louder and he runs up the aisle and onto the stage and everyone cheers.

I feel so connected to him that I mime a trombone gesture along with him. This amuses the adults around me, so I become embarrassed and stop.

As an adult, I recognize the song as "76 Trombones." I looked it up, and Forrest Tucker (6'4) played Harold Hill for 56 weeks in the Chicago production of The Music Man at The Shubert Theater (now The Bank of America Theater and still my favorite venue in the city -- maybe this long-ago moment is why).

My dad hated going into the city, but he loved musical theater, and that must have won out. I must ask my mom about this. This suddenly remembered moment is so vivid.

Look what just happens to be on eBay now -- the Playbill from that very run at the Shubert. If I wasn't in "Clean Me" mode, I'd bid on it.

Clean Me for Tuesday

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

I moved 16 magazines, two catalogs and an expired bus schedule from my bedroom floor to the paper recycling bag in my kitchen. I also disposed of a green water bottle I bought when Reynaldo was still a kitten. If it did nothing to deter his bad behavior in 2004, I think I should give up the ghost and admit Rey is Rey and nothing I will have any impact on that. (Psst! Don't tell Rey this, but I'm not really sure I want to change him anymore, anyway. I have grown to find our battles of wits/will rather endearing.)

Perfect for what ails me

Tonight CBS gives me one of my favorite NCIS episodes -- there's a citywide blackout and the agents must go "old school" to solve the crime. I'm grateful, because I feel depression encroaching.

Kathleen forgot me.

Yesterday she called me, kinda out of the blue, and she seemed to have an agenda of some sort. Yet after we established her kids and husband are fine, she asked me how I was and I started to tell her. I mean, we haven't seen each other in a while and when we have, someone else (her son, her husband, a mutual acquaintance ...) was around so she really doesn't know what's been going on.

Anyway, she said she'd love to catch up but she had a meeting. She said she'd give me a ride home from work today (we live in the same neighborhood) and we could stop for drinks and catch up. All day went by and I hadn't heard from her. I called her at 5:30 and got no answer. I left a message saying I would wait around until 6:15 because, well, it's raining and I'd really like a ride. Come 6:15 I did just that, trying not to feel like dogshit.

I got home, mixed myself a screwdriver, and checked my home phone. No message. I decided to give Kathleen the benefit of the doubt and checked my office voicemail. She didn't pick up my call until 6:30 and she's very embarrassed and sorry. She's too busy to get together this week, but she thinks of me often.

She apologized and I know that should be the end of it. I mean, do I expect her to surrender an internal organ or something? Shit happens. People forget things every day.

I also know, though, that I would never have done this to her.

We have known each other for 15 years. I shouldn't be too hard on her, shouldn't forget all the good times we have shared. I also know I have friends I could call on if I really felt lonely, especially John, who I have been trading chatty emails with all day. But to be honest, I don't feel like real-live company just now.

Isn't my TV boyfriend, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, just too cute?

"She must be a Sox fan"

So said my 11-year-old nephew of his teacher. He believes that she is as bored with the school year as her students and is, in his words, sending kids directly to the principal's office for even minor infractions because "she's sick of them."

One of his classmates wore a brand-new Cubs' Kosuke Fukudome jersey to school and the teacher immediately pronounced it "inappropriate" and started to write him up and send him to the principal's office. It took "all the boys" to talk her out of it, reassuring her that "Fukudome" is indeed a real Cub player.

"Can you BELIEVE her?" my nephew huffed in disgust. "She thought it was a made up name! She must be a Sox fan."

I am amused that he's still innocent enough to think his teacher was upset by a "made up" name.

10 on Tuesday -- The "It's Pre-Dawn & I Can't Sleep" Edition

It's after 2:00 AM. As I sit here on the sofa, my big old tomcat Joey beside, here are 10 things on my mind.

1) Paparazzi. I watched Smash His Camera, a documentary on HBO about Ron Galella. I feel bad about how much I enjoyed his work. It's so voyeuristic of me to be as fascinated by his day in/day out shots of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis as I was, but they were so revealing about the lady and her life! I even love that when he sued her -- basically a publicity stunt on his part -- she counter sued him, won and somehow managed to get the First Amendment overturned with a ruling that he could not come within 50 ft. of her. Anyone who picks up a copy of US probably feels the same twinge of delight mixed with guilt.

2) My best friend. His own birthday is coming up and yet it's his daughter's birthday, also in June, that is making him a little blue. She's turning 13 … she's away from home this week, vacationing with a friend's family … he seems to be missing the devoted Daddy's Girl she was. He has often told me about his transformative moment: when she born, and the doctor allowed him to be the first person ever to place hands on her. So I guess her turning 13 feels very Important-with-a-capital-I, too.

3) My niece. She's growing up, too, but we seem to coming back together again as she comes into her own as a young woman. I mentioned casually a few weeks ago that I missed the movie she claims as her favorite (Away We Go) when it was in theaters. I got a text from her today, letting me know one of her friends just returned her DVD and asking how she could get it to me. It's sweet that it means so much to her that I see this.

4) My oldest friend. She is focused on getting her house in order and is now my idol. I feel guilty that I haven't followed her lead today and earned a "Clean Me" dustbin and broom. I worked late and was soooo tired when I got home Monday evening. The important thing is that even though I didn't do anything yesterday or over the past weekend, that doesn't mean I should abandon my goal of improving my standard of living at home. To borrow from Katie Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day!"

5) Homeless people. Specifically, my homeless people. The homeless gentleman in front of McDonald's has reappeared, as suddenly, it seems, as he disappeared. He no longer seems to remember me, but that's OK. He probably sees literally hundreds of people every day from his perch on top of a box on Wabash. And he still asks God to bless me, and can't we all use a little more of that? On the other hand, Molly the Cat, and her people, have disappeared.

6) The Cubs. Why can't my heroes in pinstripes put a string of wins together this year? At home or on the road -- it doesn't seem to matter. Win one day, lose the next ... They just don't seem to be able to get momentum.

7) Commercials. Why are they so much louder than the shows I'm watching?

8) My friend, Barb. She is so organized at work, and such a complete ditz outside of it! We keep scheduling her birthday dinner, and then rescheduling it because of something that came up, or that she forgot about. She is always playing with her precious iPhone. Shouldn't it help her stay on top of things?

9) "Mr. Kerry." The suspect in this 2008 documentary about a murder in Richmond, VA, is "John Kerry." How unfortunate for the real John Kerry!

10) I'm tired! Yea! FINALLY! Off to bed for this ol' Gal.

Movie Monday

Stranded Top 5's...Choose the top 5 film you'd want to have with you if you were ever stranded on a desert island. Link back here at The Bumbles, and don't forget to visit your fellow participants!

A Hard Day's Night. Because it's very funny, and the concert segment at the end will remind me of the best of what I gave up when I left western civilization behind.

Gone with the Wind. Because it's got romance and struggle and war and reconciliation and just about every experience known to man.

The Godfather. So I won't get rusty on all the memorable quotes: "You have to answer for Santino." "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." "Make him an offer he can't refuse." "Don't ever take sides with anyone against the family." "Today I settle all family business ..."

That's Entertainment. Because I can't pick just one MGM musical.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Because why not be stranded with the two coolest guys ever?

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: Another Question Meme

1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely: walking up Michigan Avenue, looking for a cab

2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on? Saturday's vein treatment at the doctor's office

3. What do your bank checks look like? ASPCA cats. 6% of the fee for printing charged by Checks in the Mail goes to the ASPCA.

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from? Quincy Market in Boston

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list: Shea Body Butter by The Body Shop

6. What color is your toothbrush? Green and white

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it. Quarters. I keep them in a beer stein in the kitchen and feed them to the washer and dryer in the frigging laundry room.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it? Infield's, the sports-themed restaurant downstairs at Macy's. I was with my friend, John. The food was fine, but the people in a nearby booth were soooo noisy. Still, it's a sports bar, so we should have seen that coming.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for? An old boyfriend. I mailed it Thursday, and I hope he got it in time for his special day (Sunday, no mail delivery).

10. What is your worst bad habit? I'm a slob, 100% Oscar Madison.

11. Name a magazine you subscribe to? Newsweek. (For now at least ...)

12. Your favorite pizza toppings? Sausage or spinach.

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book? Comcast

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most? My best friend

15. What is the last thing you cooked? Does tossing a salad count?

16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used? Shoes.

17. Which shoe do you put on first? Left.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing? My favorite sunglasses. I found them inside a box of fabric softener sheets. I have no idea how that happened.

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house? I like all my furniture. So I'd like to bestow this award instead to the really hideous, really pink sink in the bathroom.

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning? A pair of coaxial cable cutters from Radioshack

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why? Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker. I love it. It's light but still distinctive.

22. Your favorite board game? Yahtzee. Though wait! There's no board. Does it still count?

23. What was the last board game you played? Monopoly

24. Where did your vehicle come from? No car.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be? My Tears Dry On Their Own



26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily? The Chicago Cubs. Win or lose, they're my guys

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? There was only one bridesmaid, and I recall she wore a pale, pale grey dress. I think the shade is called "pewter."

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most? Laundry! Laundrylaundrylaundry. I hate it.

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? With my fingers.

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is? Made with fresh strawberries.

No Dustbin Award Today

I'm giving myself a break from any but mandatory chores today. For I had my third -- and perhaps last -- sclerotherapy treatment this morning. While it's not especially painful, it does tire me out. So I'm taking it easy ... I took a nap, yakked on the phone, watched the game, farted around on the Internet but still, am proud to report, did four loads of laundry. I think that's enough housework for this ol' Gal today.

Tomorrow, when the gauze and tape come off, I'll resume my new clean ways.

Now THIS I was in favor of

Late last month I expressed my frustration and disappointment that President Obama hasn't been spending more time down in The Gulf. While I don't take credit for the White House's increased attention to the optics of the oil spill, it must be noted that the President is doing more to indicate that he's on it -- intellectually and emotionally -- including an email, which I appreciated.

So while I understand how many might feel that President Obama should be more focused on the devastating events down South, I REFUSE to listen to anyone rip on him for honoring Sir Paul in the East Room last Wednesday.

Instead I'm pissed that it wasn't declared a national or perhaps international holiday. Guess I'll just have to settle for seeing the official celebration of my favorite Beatle (oh, hell, one of my favorite PEOPLE) on PBS at the end of July.

I credit the beard

Walk up and down the streets of Chicagoland and you'll see more beards than usual. Growing their facial hair is something sports fanatics are doing to support The Black Hawks in their quest for the Cup. I don't know how this started -- I haven't been a Hawks fan in decades -- but I'm always in favor of supporting our teams.

One such newly-minted beard -- a white and rather mangy one -- belongs to Cubs skipper Lou Piniella. My Cubs have been struggling this season, unable to put together an impressive string of wins, stuck at about .500. Yet tonight the bats have suddenly come to life and they have scored 6 runs in 7 innings.

Please, Lou, keep the beard.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: If I Had a Hammer

1. Are you handy with tools? Not even remotely.

2. What was the best thing that happened to you this week? I found myself embroiled in a strictly professional disagreement at work ... and my boss backed me up. Not that long ago, I wouldn't have believed that was possible.

3. What was the worst thing that happened to you this week? The inevitable end of my four-day holiday weekend

4. Do you think you act your age? No. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

5. Describe an item of clothing that has definitely seen better days but that you refuse to dispose of and still wear. Why won't you toss it? I have a pair of jeans that I splattered with bleach. I wear them when I'm doing housework. I haven't parted with them because I know Goodwill would throw them away and, except for the (OK, massive and ugly) stains, they are still in good shape.

6. What is your favorite summertime beverage? Coca-Cola Classic

7. Have you ever lied about your age? When I was 13 I used to say I was 16. No one believed me.

8. What was the most memorable birthday party you've attended? My old boss/theater buddy got married for the first time on her 51st birthday. How romantic is that?

9. What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life? I am afraid of squirrels. I know this is a silly fear and I bear squirrels no ill will. It's just that when I was a little girl, my dad told me about a kid who was bit by a rabid squirrel, going into graphic detail about the -- what was it? 111? -- shots the boy endured, and that has really stayed with me.

#10 on his jersey, #1 in our prayers

From mlb.com:

PITTSBURGH -- Cubs legend and radio analyst Ron Santo returned to Chicago on Wednesday after spending Monday night and Tuesday in a Pittsburgh hospital.

Santo felt ill after Monday afternoon's game and was feeling the effects of a very hot, muggy day at the ballpark.

Santo, 70, who suffers from diabetes, underwent a battery of tests and no major medical issues were found. He reportedly is feeling much better.

Clean Me

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

The Peapod driver and I made a very advantageous exchange. He left me groceries, and carried away two shopping bags filled with shopping bags.

Almost perfect

Oh, how I enjoyed this evening's 3-block walk home from the el station! 82º, sun low in the sky, the scent from lilac bushes in the air. It wasn't yet 7:00 but the outdoor cafe was already filled with upbeat diners, as they all thought it was an almost perfect evening, too.

I'd been in kind of a pissy mood all afternoon. And yet, smelling the lilacs as I head home to a beer, an episode of NCIS and the Cubs vs. Houston almost redeemed the day. It's the moments, you know?

It was a wee bit too humid, but that's such a tiny quibble.

I fell off the wagon

I didn't work out, nor did I do anything to clean up my home yesterday. But I was on a 9:25 AM Amtrak down to see the client, returning in my front door at a little after 9 PM, which means I had a very long day and I was very tired and a wee bit stressed (exhilarated, too, because any time with the client is "show time!"). And if I took comfort after the meeting at their local mall, doing a little shopping and indulging in a root beer float -- they have an A&W down there! -- is it really so wrong?

It's back to good habits today, I promise.

I think I'm embarrassed

I took Amtrak to and from the client's downstate office yesterday. And I believe I snored for at approx. an hour (24 Beatle songs, according to my iPod) on the way home. My apologies to my poor seatmate.

Clean Me

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

OK, technically speaking it's Thursday. But I'm posting this before going to bed on Wednesday so I feel it counts. Especially because I crashed on the sofa at 9:30 and awoke at 12:30. Instead of going to bed right away, watching TV and flipping through magazines and cursing myself for wasting three hours snoring on the sofa, I went into the kitchen and went through the silverware drawer.

What's in my silverware drawer that can be organized or thrown away? Tons of handwipes and plastic cutlery that accompanied my carryout (usually from Mickey's Gyros and Ribs). So now most of them are are in the now-sealed padded envelope -- along with toiletries -- for the soldiers through Operation Shoebox. (If you'd like to send a package to our troops, click here for their wish list.)

Now that my silverware drawer can open and close easily, I can award myself the coveted broom and dustbin and turn in for the night.

Tony Hayward is a heartless creep

From the Guardian:

BP chief executive Tony Hayward under fire for 'there's no one who wants this over more than I do. I'd like my life back' comment

PS I suppose I should note that the heartless creep apologized for his comment. Gee, thanks.

What the he ....

How can the Gores be splitting up? To borrow from Christian Science Monitor: After lasting four decades through a deployment to Vietnam, four children, the near-death of one child, a vice presidency, a presidential election, and a Nobel Peace Prize, Al and Tipper Gore’s separation after 40 years of marriage came as a shock to Americans.

How does this happen? It makes me so sad.

For in spite of the fact that I personally am no good at love, I want everyone else to be. Al and Tipper met at a high school dance, for Christ's sake! How could they not make it work?

Oh well, at least it distracted me, at least for a moment, from fixating on BP disaster.

"I Want" Wednesday

According to PEOPLE, Candy Spelling (Aaron's widow and Tori's mom) lives in a $150 million mansion with three rooms -- 3 entire rooms! -- devoted gift wrapping supplies. Three rooms filled with rolls of paper and scissors and tape and bows and expansive tables to work on. So this week's question is:

What special room do you want in your home?

While my "want" seems modest compared to Mrs. Spellings trio of wrapping rooms, I long for my very own laundry room. Ideally with one washer and two dryers -- one for towels and jeans and one for lower heat -- and a nice, long, clean table for folding. Little cubbies for my detergent and fabric softener and stain removers, etc. and a docking station with powerful speakers for my iPod would be nice, too. And wouldn't it be terrific if it looked out onto a patio so when the weather is nice I could dry my sheets outdoors?

What about you? What special room do you want in your home?

I Say We Nuke Them

I'm only joking a little:

Sir Paul McCartney was left shaken but unhurt when his tour bus reportedly came under attack from a group of youths in Mexico during the early hours of Saturday morning, May 29, not long after finishing his second and final night at Mexico City's Foro Sol arena.

According to reports in the Daily Mirror, the incident occurred in one of the city's tourist no-go areas when a group of "thugs" forced McCartney's tour bus to stop in the street. The mob then climbed the bus before proceeding to jump up and down on the roof.

"At first his security team thought it was just swarms of fans but when people started scaling the bus, the situation changed in a flash." a source was quoted by the newspaper.

Clean Me

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

Tonight I went through the boxes of presents I have tucked away in the closet. Since my sister decided that we weren't exchanging gifts anymore, I winnowed through what I already had for her and her husband. Since my mom and brother-in-law are close, I'm handing off the four new shirts I bought for him to her. They're nice shirts, still with tags attached, and giving them to my mom will save her the time and expense of shopping for him. Best of all, it will get them out of my home.

The health/beauty items I bought for my sister will either be regifted or, in the case of the smaller or unbreakable bottles, will be sent to Operation Shoebox. I like thinking that female soldiers in Afghanistan or Iraq will enjoy the vanilla-scented body lotions and shower gels. These days I appreciate them far more than I do my sister. And, once again, it will get stuff out of my home.

I also discovered that I have so many gifts for my oldest friend that I may not have to buy anything for her until 2015. And while I still can't find handmade denim wine bottle tote for my friend Barb's birthday, I found a picture frame I forgot I'd purchased for her in Key West last year. So it all works out.

That's how this started, you see. Whenever I come upon the perfect birthday or Christmas gift for a friend -- ideal either because it's unique or because it's at an unbelievable price -- I pick it up … put it in one of the boxes in the closet and then promptly forget about it and buy something else, thereby adding to the congestion in my closet. I realize that it's that last part of my plan that I have to work on.

You Were Warned

This is Susie Essman. She is a comedic actress and, right now, a guest on The Joy Behar Show. She is not funny.

The Queen's Meme

When was the last time you ...

rolled your eyes? Probably this morning. I had a meeting this morning and one of my coworkers always inspires eye rolling on my part.

tied your shoe? In the locker room. I wear tennies when I work out.

reorganized your bedroom? So long ago I can't recall.

took a walk in the park? Easter weekend. And shame on me, because I both live and work near some beautiful parks.

chewed gum? Mid-March. I remember because I was on-site, visiting my client, and was worried about my breath.

drew a stick person? So long ago I can't recall.

activated something? A new credit card early last month.

took a photograph? So long ago I can't recall.

drank a milkshake? May 8, right after I had dental work done because my dentist recommended it and I was so stoned I just blindly followed her orders.

ate orange jello? February, 2009, right before my colonoscopy. Shudder. I shall never eat orange jello again!

google mapped an address? Last Thursday.

sang your favorite song? My favorite song changes with the wind. However, I was able to sing my favorite Diana Ross song ("The Boss") with Miss Ross herself last Thursday night.

made a peace globe? (Please show us!) November 4, 2009. I only wish it wasn't still relevant.

threw a baseball? So long ago I can't recall.

fumbled with a button? Button? I'm not so sure. But last Friday I did fear I was being held captive by the clasp on my necklace.

answered the doorbell? Last week when the grocery delivery service arrived.

spilled your drink? Over the weekend. This is not a rare occurence. My poor, poor carpet.

administered CPR? Never.

looked in the mirror? Last time I washed my hands. There’s a mirror over the sink.

testified in court? Never. I’ve been a juror, but never a witness.

made a sarcastic remark? Moi? Never!

offered someone advice? 4:30 today. My oldest friend is wrestling with some big decisions.

watched a sunrise or sunset? Sunday.

were jealous? Every damn day.

smiled when you didn’t feel like smiling? When dealing with people I know only superficially, like just now in the hallway here at work.

loved when you didn't feel like loving? Never.

ironed an article of clothing? I don’t remember when, but I do recall what. It was slacks. Is this really interesting to anyone, my Queen?

noticed you didn't give a damn? I care too much about too many things. I was even upset to hear about Al and Tipper.

had a mammogram? July

read your horoscope? This morning. I’m a Sagittarius. ”Remember, your attitude is more crucial than your actual choice, so don't diminish your power by feeding fantasies of self-doubt.”

moped? After lunch. Someone had the temerity to point out that my work isn’t perfect!

held someone’s hand? Don’t remember.

crossed a bridge? When I came to it. Tee hee.

threw away a candy wrapper? Monday night. Mournfully.

sat on a bench? While waiting for the train.

turned a page? While reading Girls Like Us as I pedaled the exercise bike.

tripped over your own 2 feet? That’s quite a regular occurrence.

dialed the wrong number? I don’t recall, but last week I did give my brother-in-law the wrong number. Does that count?

ignored a phone call? Whenever LifeSource calls. I just gave blood on 5/20. Leave me alone for awhile, you vampires!

kissed a bride? Never.

tweeted? Yesterday, as I alternated between the NCIS marathon on the USA Network and the Cubs game.

rode a roller coaster? Too long! I love roller coasters.

you were really you? When I was enjoying alone time over the long holiday weekend.

cried yourself to sleep? I’m not much of a crier.

were speechless? Ha!

rode a bus? Friday.

went to a funeral? January, 2007, when my uncle’s icky wife died. (Sorry, but death doesn’t make her more noble, it just makes her dead.)

were right? Around 11:00 today during an internal presentation at work.

smoked? Never.

were left? Sorry, I’m strictly, prohibitively right.

googled? This morning.

bent over? While taking off my tennis shoes, way back in question #2.

sent a text message? Saturday. It was to my niece. She’s the only one I text on a regular basis.

Lit a candle? Can’t recall.

Lost your temper? Haven’t really lost my temper in a while. I have gotten pissy a couple times today.

fell off a horse? Never.

changed the oil in your car? Never.

added a new FACEBOOK friend? Ages upon ages ago.

went bowling? Some time in 2009.

laughed uncontrollably? Friday night, while watching Valley of the Dolls with my oldest friend.

felt guilty? Hmmm … can’t think of anything recent.

looked up a word in the dictionary? Last week. It was the correct spelling of “raison d’etre.”

returned from the point of no return? When I sobered up Friday morning.

couldn't remember your name? Never. I know, as sure as I’m standing here solidly on my own two hands, that my name is Mrs. Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

surrendered to temptation? Monday night, and the aforementioned candy wrapper.

felt genuinely happy? I try every day.

saw a famous person? The aforementioned Miss Diana Ross.

kissed in a car? Too long! I love kissing in cars.

sent a greeting card? Last week – a graduation card for a friend’s daughter.

used your passport? Not since the Carter Administration.

yelled at your television? During the Cubs game Monday.

confided a secret? Nothing springs to mind …

changed your blog template? Last year sometime.

danced like no one was watching? Thursday night with Miss Ross. Since everyone was watching her, I’m confident no one was watching me.

wrote in cursive? About an hour ago.

took a driving test? About 25 years ago.

backed up your computer files? I’m supposed to?

when was the last time you said this was the last time? I’m tempted to make a smart ass remark about ever completing another Queen’s Meme, but I fear the dungeon.

To avoid the dungeon, play along by clicking here.

Too Much!

I have too much fat, too much clutter and too much debt. I realize I am not unique in this, but I am also slowly accepting that the remedies are in no one's control but mine. You may be saying, "duh!" but to me, this is a lightbulb idea. No more excuses.

Auf Wiedersehen

Tomorrow is June 1. I return to The Daily Plate and go back to tracking calories and exercise. And that means that my first Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup will also have to be my last for awhile.

Clean Me

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

What was so great about October 2009? I don't know, either, yet for some reason I hung onto a lot of unused bank solicitations that all expired then. Welcome to shredder, bank solicitations! I also recycled dozens of train and bus schedules that were either expired or duplicates. It didn't make a big difference to the way this place looks, but it was a good use of my time -- spent watching the ball game, anyway -- and as I ran the bag of papers down to recycling bin I felt as though I'd accomplished something.

Movie Monday

This week's movie topic is all about Soldiers ...
Share your soldierly choices, linking back here at the Bumbles.

Lt. Doug Roberts -- Mr. Roberts. Henry Fonda stars in a movie that is known as a comedy but breaks my heart every time I see it. Doug Roberts is assigned to a cargo ship in the Pacific during WWII. He longs to see real action, to get into the fight, and keeps requesting transfers. The commanding officer (played by James Cagney) selfishly refuses to approve his requests because he realizes all the commendations he receives are really because of Roberts' talents and leadership ability. What we understand is that Roberts is already a hero, right there where he is on the cargo ship. If he doesn't do his job well, the soldiers at the front won't have what they need to wage war. "They also serve who stand and wait." Roberts may not be fighting the Japanese but he's fighting for his crew, making sure they toil away in appropriate conditions so that that their productivity and morale stay high. Roberts does his thankless job with humor and integrity. At one point, near the end of the movie, his crew finally appreciates the full measure of his quiet heroism and they salute him, one by one, sailor after sailor, saying, "Good Night, Mr. Roberts." And this old Gal chokes up every time.

Emmett Smith -- In Country. Bruce Willis is a revelation in his best movie role (and it should be noted that I love just about everything Bruce does). He's a Viet Nam vet who went home to Kentucky after the war. Suffering from post-traumatic-stress-syndrome, he just sits around the house and smokes pot all day, socializing with a small crew of fellow vets. He is supervising -- and lavishing love on -- his teenage niece, Samantha, the daughter of his brother, who died in Nam before his daughter was born. Emmett and his buds don't talk about their heroics "in country" very often because they don't consider themselves heroes. But when, at the end of the movie, Emmett and Samantha visit the Viet Nam Veterans Wall together, he finally seems to be able to appreciate the courage he and his fellow soldiers exhibited and perhaps put the past in its place and get on with his life. As a niece herself who understands the impact Viet Nam had on her own beloved uncle's life, I really appreciate this film.

We love our teams

I wouldn't disrespect the loyal and long-suffering Black Hawk fans by jumping on the bandwagon and pretending I have been with them all along. I haven't been a fan since the long ago days of Bobby Hull, Keith Magnuson and Tony Esposito.

But I am enjoying their success, and how the city has rallied around them.

Here we have the Art Institute Lions, the MJ statue at the United Center, the Daley Center Picasso and the Field Museum Dinosaur all ready to help out at center ice, as need be. I love it!

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Just Because Meme

1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up. My dark blue sandals, my light blue sandals, my green sandals, my black sandals, and blue sandals with the black buckles.

2. How do you style your hair? How often do you cut it? I wear it short, parted down the side and brushed away from my face. I never cut it, but instead pay a very nice man $80 to do so every 4-5 weeks.

3. What are you wearing now? A Lucy Vitametavegimen nightshirt

4. What's your occupation? Do you like it? I am an advertising writer, and I enjoy the work part of my job very much. The politics of office life in a volatile industry weigh on me at times, but I do like writing.

5. When was the last time that you took a nap? Was there a special reason? Saturday morning, when I returned from an early morning vet appointment with my dear old tomcat, Joey. It was just his annual checkup, but at his age things can go bad very fast so I was apprehensive. He never goes outside, so he was terrified. Fortunately, it went very well. But when we got home, we were both exhausted!

6. Who was the last person you hugged romantically? Ha!

8. What was the last full meal that you ate? Pizza and beer

9. What was the last email that you received? A Chicago Tribune alert announcing that the Black Hawks won Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

10. What one website do you always visit when you go online? This one!

11. What was the last significant thing you bought? My tomcat's exam and shots. Significant in expense but also in value, because Joey's health is my responsibility.

12. What musical artist did you not get at first, but then became a fan? Amy Winehouse

13. What do you think about before you go to bed last night? How dog-ass tired I was.

14. What was the last CD you bought? Simply ... Dusty

15. What is your favorite weather, and why? What's the weather like today? Today it's sunny and 88º. I'd prefer it about 20º cooler.

16. If you could have a special artistic talent, what would it be? Sing!

17. Did you watch the Idol 9 finale? If yes, what are your thoughts? Yes. I love Lee and I'll miss Simon.

18. What's something you'd like to say to someone right now? I'd tell my niece, once more, that I'm so proud of her focus, her work ethic, and her sense of humor.

19. Any special plans for this (holiday in the States) weekend? Anything I do has to be planned around Cubs-Cardinals.

20. Besides your current S/O, who was the last person that you loved romantically? His voice sounds just like Robert Downey, Jr.'s

In my prayers

Yes, I know it's Memorial Day and I agree that it's appropriate to hold fallen heroes in our hearts today. But my heart is expansive enough to include everyone involved with this natural disaster, too.

The clean up workers. Two contract cleanup workers were airlifted to West Jefferson Medical Center in Marrero, La., on Friday night after suffering dizziness, headaches and chest pains on boats operating about a mile south of the coast. (Read more: http://www.bnd.com/2010/05/29/1275187/gloom-grows-as-bps-top-kill-effort.html#ixzz0pQOHhpyu)

Our neighbors in the Gulf, who are on the verge of yet another economic disaster. I don't know how much more these poor people can take. First Hurricanes Katrina and Wilma, then the same Recession that slammed us all, now this.

The environment. It's sad and unnatural and simply wrong for birds, turtles and fish to die in freaking sludge.

My country. This appalling photo speaks volumes on our dependence on oil and what it's gotten us. But it can't illustrate everything we're losing, every moment that blown out well keeps gushing ... and gushing ... and gushing.

President Obama. It's BP's well but it's our coastline and we're trusting you to do right by it and us, Mr. President.

The right ending to a good day

First Joey and I went to the vet. He hasn't lost any weight, but he hasn't gained any, either, and for a big, 14 year old cat, he's doing fine.

Then I took a nap.

Then I watched the Cubs kick St. Louis Cardinal ass. Yea!

Then I heard from my niece, who was such an asset working my oldest friend's garage sale that she's been invited back tomorrow for apres sale cleanup. Win-win. Good for my friend (who is working toward cleaning out her house and moving to California) and my niece (who is squirreling away money for college).

Then I did a little "Bob Vila work" on my bathroom (see post below).

Then I worked out for the first time in almost a month! Didn't do much -- just a half hour on the stationery bike -- but 30 minutes with my heart rate at 129 bpm was good cardio and maybe even burned off a bit of fat. But best of all, it felt good so I'll be back tomorrow.

So now I'm celebrating.