Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Cool Guy Questions


1.) When was the first time you ever swore or said something profane? I don't recall the first time. One early, memorable adventure in cursing does come to mind, though. I ran down the basement stairs barefoot and couldn't stop when I saw the broken jar. So I landed on shards of glass. I fell on my ass and cradled my bloody foot, saying, "Goddamsonofabitch." My mom, who had been around the corner in the basement laundry room, appeared. I thought she'd ooh and aah over my foot. Instead she slapped my head and told me not to swear.

2.) Have you ever had unrequited feelings for someone?/Have you ever been friendzoned? I've been the victim of unrequited love, and I've had to friendzone someone. I actually prefer the former. It's very hard to hurt someone.

3.) What's a false assumption a lot of people have about you? People think I'm younger than I am. Thank God!

4.) Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Nope.

5.) If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be and why?

JBKO. I have so much to ask her! About Hillary, about Trump (she knew them both). About life in the White House, about living on a floating palace, The Christina. Most of all, I'd ask her how she did it. How did she take a really painful life and make it look so effortlessly graceful?

6.) What did you do on December 12th last year? I was going to the doctor a lot before Christmas. I don't recall if I had an appointment that day exactly.

7.) When was the last time you truthfully told someone you hated them? A boyfriend and I called Rod Stewart's "Have I Told You Lately?" our song. And often, when he really got on my nerves, I'd change the lyric to, "Have I told you lately that I hate you?"

8.) What is your opinion on this song? What about this song? Links don't work.
9.) In less than four sentences, describe the entire plot of the last book you read. Girl moves across country to Key West with her boyfriend. He cheats on her. Someone gets dead. She gets accused. (An Appetite for Murder.)
10.) Describe the appearance of the most untrustworthy person you can think of (they can be a person you've met or a made up person). Are they male or female or neither? What about their appearance makes them untrustworthy? My long-term, long-ago ex is the most untrustworthy person I can think of. Nothing about his appearance made him untrustworthy. He looked gorgeous. He just behaved like a complete and utter shit.

11.) What is the most cringe-worthy thing you've ever seen? Donald Trump mocking that disabled reporter. If you applauded it, Hillary is right and you are deplorable.

12.) What is your biggest regret? Staying with the man mentioned in #10 for as long as I did.

13.) Do you have any cousins? When was the last time you saw them? I saw my cousin about six months ago but chat with him via Facebook all the time.

14.) Describe the worst birthday you've ever had. The very day I turned six, someone murdered the President in Dallas and my birthday party was cancelled.

15.) When was the last time someone provoked you to the point of violence? Never. I've been so angry that my knees literally gave out, but I've never been tempted to strike out at anyone else. Yet.

16.) OH NOES!!!! Someone has gotten you to drink a truth potion and now you have to truthfully answer every question you are asked!!! What's the worst possible question someone could ask you? I'm sorry but no one specific thing comes to mind.

17.) Describe, in detail, your first serious relationship. Describe how it ended. First he deflowered me, then he dumped me. There was some lovely stuff in between and I'll always be a little in love with him.

18.) Introduce your best friend. Tell the story of how you met. She moved in across the alley and showed up in my Kindergarten class. We've been friends ever since.

19.) To the introduced friend, has our interviewee lied in any of these questions? Are you surprised by any of these answers? She might be able to come up with an interesting answer for #16.
20.) To finish up, what is your biggest irrational fear and how did you get it?

Clowns. When I was 8, I saw a movie called The Greatest Show on Earth. A doctor is unjustly accused of killing his wife and avoids prosecution by joining the circus. He always wears his clown makeup so he won't be recognized. I missed the "unjustly accused" detail and was just terrified of his pointy "I-killed-my-wife" smile. Incidentally, the clown was played by Jimmy Stewart. I could well be the only person on earth who has ever been frightened by George Bailey.