My brother in law quit his job. Quitting means no unemployment. His boss wouldn't give him the whole week off to go up to Wisconsin and get my niece, suggesting he leave early today instead. Since they agreed he could have this week off months ago, he lost his temper and quit.
Did I mention quitting means no unemployment?
He had health insurance, a truck and gas with that job, too. All gone.
I can't help my mom AND take care of them, too. Not to mention that it's a little galling to help someone who judges you as harshly as my sister does me. Or that when I'm old, I won't have a Gal equivalent to turn to.
On the other hand, they have two kids and two cats who didn't choose which home they landed in. So I sent the kids giftcards to help with back to school clothes and supplies. I have a coupon here for a free bag of premium catfood from Petco. Bet you can guess what I'm gonna do with that.
My sister's job as lunch mom begins again next week. Her take home is $45/week. The school year is only 9 months. Taking school vacations into account, my sister contributes less than $2000/year to that household. That's less than I give my mom.
What the fuck are they going to do?
Trying not to obsess …
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
as hard as it to say...just let go, do what you can without putting yourself in a bind....you are all you have. they are adults and their children are their responsiblity...not you!!! if you put yourself into their lives...problems will come.
ReplyDeleteWhat a profoundly stupid ass thing he did! Good God Almighty. And it's the kids (and cats) who pay for it, sadly.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Vivian - you do what you can do and let go. (I did that with bitch cousin.) It's very hard for "helpers" like us but remember two things:
1. This is their lesson. If you jump into it, you are taking that lesson away and clearly, they need it. So help by allowing them their lesson.
2. Free will - they haz it. You might not like it but it is what it is. That means the free will to be a dumbass. Help the kids as best you can but otherwise - allow them their dumbass free will.
And you can always come live here with us, Gal. It's not ChiTown but we can get the Cubbies games when you want them!
(Love ya)
I'd be worried, too. But Vivian gives great advice.
ReplyDeleteIt's good of you to help out, but then you have to think of yourself and your job. Just like it was you Brother in law's responsibility to think of his job and family. (especially in today's economy)
ReplyDeleteKeep giving loving support to the kids, they need all the help they can get right now. Your sister and BIL need to get their act together and learn responsibility, but it's not fair to your niece and nephew to have to suffer along with them.
ReplyDelete