These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
1. I wish someone would ... invent an app or something that would let me know when the washers in the laundry room are free. I hate hauling my detergent and dirty clothes all the way down to the basement, just to see that someone beat me to it.
2. When I order Chinese food ... I tell them not to include chopsticks. I don't know how to use chopsticks.
3. I know it's not everyone's favorite activity, but I actually enjoy ... doing the dishes. I don't have a dishwasher, so it takes a moment. But there's something nice about a chore that isn't complicated and has a beginning and a middle and an end.
5. A major pet peeve of mine is ... neighbors who waylay me. I'm on the condo board, and I hate it when another unit owner traps me when I'm on the elevator or taking the trash out. Invariably what they ask me about is an issue for the management company and I can't answer them anyway. ("When is the landscaper coming?" "I'm sorry I don't know. Have you called the management company?") It's worse when they knock on the door. I'm not on duty 24/7, you know.
6. I remember when my grandfather ... This isn't anything specific, but a vibe. My grandpa always made me feel like seeing me was the highlight of his day. He was just such a big old love bug!
7. I am not fazed at all by ... bodily functions. Changing diapers, emptying litter boxes, and cleaning up puke are certainly not my favorite things to do, but they don't bother me.
8. Long car rides ... put me to sleep. (It's OK because I'm never driving.)
9. I don't understand the fuss over ... anime.
10. When I'm home alone ... I sing. Loudly and tunelessly, but happily.
I attended the No Kings Rally in my neighborhood. We met in front of the WWI memorial, which I think is significant. Peaceful protest and a rejection of strongman policies are two of the things that make American great, and that our soldiers have fought and died for. Then we moved en masse and marched through the business district (I waved at my coworker behind the counter at the card shop). It was positive and felt important.
These photos are from the Chicago Sun Times' coverage of the No Kings protest in Chicago. It makes me happy to see that this crowd was younger than one near my home.
I am a fat old lady with bad knees. This is not how I wanted to spend my Saturday. Also, I'm not crazy about protesting. Personally I'd rather direct my efforts for something than against. But these are extraordinary times. I have a responsibility as a citizen to do more than write posts like this.
So I'm proud and relieved that today, we all did something. We made ourselves heard. We stood up and were counted, and best of all, no one was injured.
1)
In this week's song, Lucie Arnaz encourages us to hop a ship and join
her in Cuba. Is your passport up to date?No. It expired back in the 1980s and I don't even know where it is. I should look into reporting it and getting a new one, but honestly, I have no interest in traveling outside the US again. There are too many places here I haven't seen yet or wish to return to. (I know, I know ... I'm weird. My friends are all talking about Europe and tropical cruises and I'm like, "I'd like to take Amtrak down to Springfield, IL, to see the Lincoln sites again.")
2) She sings that Cuba is a great place to enjoy wine and Panatelas. Do you like the smell of a good cigar? I don't believe there is any such thing as a good cigar.
3) Lucie said her Latin Roots
CD represents "the rhythms of my soul" and is a tribute to her father,
Desi Arnaz. Cuban-born Desi starred on Broadway and in nightclubs but
was best known for co-starring in and producing the 1950s sitcom, I Love Lucy. When you think of I Love Lucy, what's the first thing that comes to mind?
4)
While Lucie's parents – Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball – are famous for
their TV work, Tony-nominated Lucie has found her greatest success on
the stage. She inherited their love of performing, saying, “My parents
were always happiest when they were working.” What have you inherited
from one or both your parents? (It could be anything from your work
ethic to your eye color.) I got my love of animals from my mom and my temperament from my dad. I think that's why I so effortlessly pushed his buttons.
5) Though "Ricky Riccardo" often mangled English on I Love Lucy,
Desi's English was very good. Lucille Ball admired his facility with
languages and encouraged him to speak Spanish to their children
so that they would be bilingual. When you were growing up, did your
family speak any language other than English? Nope. My grandfather immigrated from Germany but seldom spoke about his childhood and never spoke German. When I'd ask him about this, he'd say, "Because we're here now." He was so deeply disturbed by Nazism, it's like that part of his life never existed. He certainly never considered Germany "home." Grandpa was the most patriotic American I ever knew.
6) Desi Arnaz often performed "I Will See You in C-U-B-A." Is there a song that reminds you of your father? My dad used to sing along when this came on the car radio. He was not a happy man, so this made an impression on me. He loved this song!
7)
After Lucie's parents divorced, Lucille Ball remarried and Lucie got a
stepfather, Gary Morton. Lucie appreciated how positive Gary always was
about Desi. Decades later, when she married a man who already had
children, Lucie said she better understood what a tough role stepparent
can be. Did you have a stepparent? Are you a stepparent? No on both counts.
8)
As a single dad, Desi lived south of Los Angeles in Del Mar. Lucie and
her brother, Desi Jr., spent school vacations there, going to the race
track, bowling, and fishing with their dad. Share a happy memory from
one of your school vacations (Christmas, Spring Break, or Summer). I remember being in junior high and putting great care into choosing what to wear on the first day back after Christmas Vacation. I usually got a sweater or a necklace or purse that I loved, and I was eager to see what my friends got.
9)
Father's Day began in Washington state. In the early 1900s, Spokane
resident Sonora Smart Dodd listened to her minister deliver a sermon
celebrating Mother's Day and devoted herself to similarly honoring
fathers. A century later, more money is still spent annually on Mother's
Day. Why do you suppose that nationally we still make more of a fuss
over Mother's Day than Father's Day? I think it's because kids are still in school for Mother's Day. We made gifts for Mom in art class and in Girl Scouts. By the time Father's Day rolls around, families are busy doing outdoor activities.
Unintended Consequences. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has ordered the Navy to strike the name of martyred politiican and gay rights advocate Harvey Milk from one of its ships.
Not only is it unusual for the Navy to rename a ship, it's remarkably insensitive that this announcement was made during Gay Pride Month.
Which brings me to this:
So let's take a closer look at Harvey:
1. Harvey Milk served in the Navy during the Korean War. A Navy diver, he reached the rank of Lt. (j.g).
2. He left the military in 1955, accepting a less than honorable discharge rather than face court-martial for his sexuality.
3. After his military service, he returned home to New York and tried a variety of careers. None of them stuck.
4. He moved to San Francisco and became an entrepreneur, opening a camera store in the gay-friendly Castro District.
5. As an openly gay businessman, he felt he had a lot to say and was determined to be heard. After running unsuccessfully for office three times, he was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. This made him the first openly gay public official in California.
6. He was forward focused. An inspiring orator, he often reminded audiences, "Hope will never be silent," and, "We will not win our rights standing silently in the closet."
7. He and San Francisco Mayor George Moscone were powerful political allies, making real, positive change for the gay community.
8.
Milk helped make it legal for gay teachers to work in the public school system, and illegal for any San Franciscan to be denied
housing based on sexual orientation.
9. When he was also a supervisor, Dan White opposed Milk's progressive agenda. He was especially opposed to Milk's ban on housing discrimination.
10. White entered City Hall through a window to avoid the metal detector and proceeded to assassinate both Milk and Moscone. He pressed the barrel of his gun against Milk's skull and fired twice. The jury found White guilty of manslaughter, not premeditated murder.
11. In 2008, Sean Penn won the Oscar as Best Actor for his portrayal of Harvey Milk.
12. In 2009, President Barack Obama posthumously awarded Harvey Milk with the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
13. Harvey Milk Day is still celebrated every year in San Francisco on his birthday, May 22.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN.Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
WWW.
WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To
participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS
I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog
won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the
frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading?America's Reluctant Prince by Steven M. Gillon. I reached for this biography of JFK, Jr., because it was written by someone who actually knew him and because I'm jonesing for Camelot. Bobby Jr. and the tacky mess that is MAGA leave me longing for grace and style.
So far, I don't know what to think of this book. I've come upon some errors in the early, ho-hum chapters about "John John in the White House." I'm hoping the writing and research will improve once we get into the less examined areas of JFK, Jr.'s life.
2. What did you recently finish reading?One Perfect Couple by Ruth Ware. Here's my Elevator Pitch: Survivor meets Lord of the Flies.
Five couples are thrown into competition to win fame and money (but mostly fame) as the winners of a new reality show:
One Perfect Couple. They are whisked away to a remote island resort,
where their phones, smartwatches and laptops are confiscated. They
accept this because they know how reality shows work and understand that
they can't be leaking the ending or plot twists before the series airs.
Before long though, nature (both Mother and human) conspires against
them and they are in real danger.
The premise is brilliantly constructed. Example: I remember a quote from long-retired Johnny Carson about Survivor. He scoffed that the contestants can't be in any real danger or distress because there's a union-mandated craft table for the crew just off camera. Well, Ware figured out how to neatly, credibly dispatch the crew.
She's created a situation rife with tensions and she mines them beautifully. Producer vs. crew. Cast vs. crew. Couple against couple. Boyfriend vs. girlfriend.
My only gripe with the book – other than a rather big plot hole I can't fill no matter how I try – is the way it's promoted. This is not a mystery. You find out whodunnit rather quickly. I'd classify this one as a thriller. A well-crafted and engaging one, at that.
I Facetimed with my grandniece yesterday. It was lovely to see her nestled in my niece's arms, wearing the hat I sent her.
The little one, whom I will call Violet, had a dramatic entry. Her birth mother developed gestational diabetes and it was decided that for her safety, labor should be induced. 4 weeks early! After nearly 24 hours, Violet still wasn't ready to make an appearance, so a C-section was deemed necessary. The little one was only 4 lbs. 14 oz., so she was kept in the hospital for a few days. Born on Tuesday night, she didn't leave the hospital until Friday. She's furry, with a blanket of fine colorless hair on her back. It's not uncommon for premature babies to have lanugo (<<my new word!) and my niece says she'll be sorry when it falls away.
I was pretty stressed out last week. A friend from high school died. My oldest friend is recovering from a long hospital stay. My girl cat had nine teeth pulled. And first I was worried that the birth mother would change her mind about the adoption, then that she and the baby were in danger. So I was happy to distract myself by shopping for this swaddle sack.
My niece and my late mother were very close. When my niece got married in 2020, it was my mother's wedding dress that my niece tried to emulate, and she wore my mother's diamond pendant as her "something old." So I figured that if she missed my mom on her wedding day, she would be missing my mom now.
Whenever one of those World Wildlife Fund commercials came on, my mom would say wistfully that she worried there would be no elephants left on earth for her (as yet unborn) great grandchildren to see. After her death, I received my mother's mail and I saw the receipt from World Wildlife Fund. My mom was perpetually broke, but she managed to find room in her budget to send a check to WWF. So to bring my mother into my niece's life as she brought her new baby home, I found a baby burrito printed with whimsical elephants. My niece loved it. Violet is still too small for the sack but the hat fits and it made my niece happy to slip it onto her head. It made me happy to deliver a little joy via Amazon.
Now that my Connie Cat is home, my oldest friend is home, and Violet is home, I can relax and breathe easier.
2. Where were you living 13 years ago? Right here. I have been in this condo since 2001.
3. Is anyone jealous of you? If they are, they shouldn't be.
4. Where were you when you heard about the 9/11 terror attacks? I was in my bedroom, tying my shoes, getting ready to catch the 8:10 train into Chicago's Loop. When I got to work, the building was swarming with police, who sent us home. The Israeli Consulate had office space in our building and since no one knew what was going on yet or why, they shut the building down. It's the only time in my life I could sense that the cops were frightened, too.
5. Do you consider yourself kind? I work at it.
6. Can you change your car's oil? No car. But even if I had one, I wouldn't do this myself. Places like Midas, Auto Zone and JiffyLube will recycle your oil properly and efficiently. Plus they will change the filter and may add other services, like rotating your tires or topping off other fluids, as part of the oil change. (Listen to the lady who doesn't have a car. I know what I'm talking about here.)
7. What's the last thing you heard about your first love? His mom died.
8. Have you ever been burned by love? Yes. Of course. Everyone has. That's why sad love songs are so popular.
9. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?A chocolate shake with whipped cream.
10. Do you hug your friends? Yes, but it's always weird with Elaine. Her family wasn't very affectionate and hugs don't come naturally to her.
Saturday 9: Hold On (1990) Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) This song gives encouragement to someone who is enduring heartache. Have you more recently given support, or received it? Received. I find myself in a new situation. My niece's baby – my grandniece – has been born but she's a preemie (36? weeks and not quite 5 lbs.) and she's been kept in the hospital a few more days. Plus, the birth mother can still legally change her mind about the adoption. So I'm confused. How much celebration is appropriate now? Do I start sending cards and gifts or do I wait until the baby is home in the nursery my niece and her husband have prepared for her? My nephew – my niece's kid brother – has been my sounding board and advisor. He's sensitive and wise for one so young and I appreciate it.
2) "Hold On" is featured prominently in the 2011 movie Bridesmaids.
It's an anthem for the friends in the film and they love to sing it
together. Is there a song that reminds you of good times with a good
friend? "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" was my friend John's favorite song. By far. Whenever it came on he would light up like a candle and stop what he was doing to announce, "Yes! This is what I'm talking about!" Even if we were at his home and he knew to expect it. This song brought him such joy, and the joy was infectious. (I miss him so very much.)
3) The
video for this song finds Wilson Phillips outdoors on a snowy
mountainside and then on a sandy beach. What's the view outside your window? A lovely pale blue, cloudless sky.
4) The
mountain segments were filmed in California's San Gabriel Mountains.
The girls were flown to the set by helicopter. Have you ever been in a
helicopter? No.
5)
The members of Wilson Phillips are authentic "California Girls." Wendy
and Carnie Wilson's father is Brian Wilson, who wrote the Beach Boys
hit. Chynna Phillips is the daughter of John and Michelle Phillips of
the Mamas and the Papas, who sang "California Dreamin'." Have you been
to California? If yes, where did you visit? Los Angeles (including Hollywood and Beverly Hills), San Francisco, San Jose (and Freemont), San Diego and Hesperia.
6)
Another generation of the Wilson family has entered the music business.
Carnie's daughter/Brian Wilson's granddaughter, Lola Bonfiglio,
participated in the current season of American Idol. Has a family member followed you in your chosen profession? Kinda sorta. I was an advertising writer and my nephew is now a baseball writer. But that's not why I take complete credit for his career choice. I'm the one who taught him to read a box score and I'm the one who took him to his first baseball game.
7)
In 1990, when this song was popular, satellite radio was in its infancy
and streaming was unheard of. Our cars gave us a choice of AM/FM and
maybe CD player/tape deck. When you're driving and a favorite song comes
on, are you more likely to sing along if you're alone? Or don't you
care if anyone hears you? No car. But I never sing in front of people. I even just move my lips in church. I'm completely tone deaf and very embarrassed by my voice.
8) Also in 1990, actor Alan Hale Jr. died. He was "the skipper" on Gilligan's Island. Without looking it up, can you name the other six castaways? (If not the actors, then their characters.) Gilligan, the millionaire and his wife, the movie star, the professor and Mary Ann.
9) Random question: What superhero would you like to have as your best friend? I'm going to be very specific about this: Adam West as Batman. If he's not Adam West, then I don't want to hang with Batman.
BTW, if you didn't see this coming, you haven't gotten to know our POTUS yet. Travel bans ... Biden's auto-pen ... blocking Harvard students' visas ... Just outrageous shit to keep us from talking about Elon's Ketamine and his own history with Jeffrey Epstein.
I'm so tired of The Trump Show. It's vulgar and counterproductive just plain ugly. But there's no way to change the channel, at least not until the mid-terms.
The Amazon edition. I live in a building with 24 units. It seems that every day, the Amazon truck stops here at least once. This list includes items the driver recently left for me:
1.
Gerber Ham and Gravy Baby Food (for my cat, Connie).
2. COSRX Pimple Patches.
3. Cafeteria Food Tray (I placed it under my cats' food dishes).
It would appear that my entire salary for the year will go to dental work. For myself, so far this year, I've had root canals and lovely porcelain crowns on my front teeth. This changed my bite considerably so I needed a new mouth guard. After insurance: $3,900.
Today my Connie Cat had several teeth extracted. She had to be sedated, and there were x-rays and lots of sutures and meds for me to give her now that she's home. While I do not begrudge the vet a cent of this because Connie is now an elder stateswoman and we're committed to preventative care to keep her healthy and strong as long as possible, the estimate did make me blink. Hard. Twice. Her teeth were nearly as expensive as mine!*
So every 2025 paycheck from the card shop will go for dental costs. Oh well, it is what it is. I like my smile again and Connie is healthier as a result of the oral surgery. And I'm lucky I've got a part-time job I like.
Maybe I shouldn't think about what I've spent. Maybe I should focus on how many miles I've earned on my credit card! Maybe I can fly free to/from LAX next year. It's all in the perspective.
*I don't have pet insurance. My friend Elaine swears by it, and for her it makes sense because her cats are both less than 3 years old. If I'd gotten Connie and/or Roy Hobbs as kittens, I'd look into it. But purchasing a policy for cats their age just isn't fiscally sound for me.
WWW.
WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To
participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS
I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog
won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the
frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading? One Perfect Couple by Ruth Ware. Five couples are thrown into competition to win fame and a certain amount of money (but mostly fame) as the winners of a new reality show: One Perfect Couple. They are whisked away to a remote island resort, where their phones, smartwatches and laptops are confiscated. They accept this because they know how reality shows work and understand that they can't be leaking the ending or plot twists before the series airs. Before long though, nature (both Mother and human) conspires against them and they are in real danger.
If this sounds like And Then There Were None updated for the new millennium, that's no accident. This book is an intended homage and so far it's a nice, tense slow burn.
On the field, Pete Rose was unassailable. He wasn't naturally gifted, like Aaron Judge or Shohei Ohtani. But he was dedicated and dogged. He did whatever it took to help his team win. He didn't complain when he was moved from the outfield to the infield. He hit from both sides of the plate. Though not especially fast, he ran it out every time. As a kid, I loved watching him play because a game could turn on his every at bat. His stats are impressive, and he remains baseball's hit king.
But that's not why you probably know him. He's the guy who bet on baseball and is banned from The Hall of Fame. That's what makes his story complicated.
Off the field, Pete Rose was a whore. He got off on cash. Not wealth. Not even stuff (except cars). Just benjamins. He would do anything for a buck, so it's not surprising that he got involved with unsavory characters. When he got caught, his attitude was (as recalled by investigators), "Fuck you, I'm Pete Rose."
There are no stories of Pete using his position to give back. There are plenty of stories of him showing up in Cooperstown during Induction Weekend to sign autographs (for a fee) and steal the thunder of the game's greats who were being enshrined. He luxuriated in being more famous for being banned from the Hall than these players were for being inducted. What an ass.
I picked up this book with an eye to learn more about compulsive gambling. That is not Pete's story. He never owned up to an addiction, nor does anyone make an argument that he had one. Instead, exasperated Cincinnati Reds executives who knew him well explain his plight away with the fable of The Scorpion and The Frog. A scorpion wants to cross the pond but can't swim, so he asks a frog to carry him. The frog is skeptical because he knows the scorpion has a fatal sting. The scorpion insists that he will do no such stinging because it wouldn't make sense. If the scorpion stings the frog, they will both drown. They will both die. Why would the scorpion do it? This seems reasonable to frog, who lets the scorpion hop aboard. The scorpion stings him. "Why?" asks the frog, as they both begin to sink. "It's my nature," responds the scorpion.
Pete Rose was an ass because it was his nature. As serious and committed as he was on the field, that's how weak and self-centered he was away from it.
I came to this conclusion on my own. Kostya
Kennedy is a good writer and a good reporter who doesn't moralize. He shares Rose's story in
an "it is what it is" manner. He trusts his readers. This is a very good book for anyone even remotely interested in the Rose saga/tragedy and why it still matters today.
I have been thinking a great deal about Judy. Not the woman she became. She was self-involved and took no responsibility for the impact her actions had on others. While I am sorry that her final years were full of hospitalizations and pain, I don't regret that I rejected her overtures to reconnect. She hurt me too badly and gave no indication that she understood it or even felt remorse.
But the Judy I met in high school was special. She was important to me. No, she was vital to me. She made me feel less alienated and more understood.
Judy was smarter than I was. I loved that about her. She was committed to being an artist. She was always working on something – I remember watching her long, slender fingers as strung beads into bracelets or painted. Wait! While I saw her paintings, I don't recall actually seeing her paint. But I did see her lovingly clean and care for her brushes. She also taught me to play canasta. In my mind's eye I see those long fingers again, wearing rings made from spoons, as she dealt the cards.
She gave me an even greater gift in those days. She encouraged me to write and read what I wrote. Mind you, I was a horny 15-year-old virgin expounding on topics I knew nothing about. I'm sure that everything I put on paper was wretched.
But Judy encouraged me. She made notes in the margins. We talked short stories vs. long format. Fiction vs. non-fiction. Reportage vs. editorial. When her mother* affectionately called me "Louisa Mae Alcott," Judy rolled her eyes as only a teenage girl can roll her eyes at her mother. "The Gal is going to be a real writer, Mom."
And here's the thing: I did become a writer. Since I didn't go to college, I took a circuitous route, but I got there. I earned a good living, won some awards, and got a great deal of satisfaction from using my imagination and my words.
Looking at her obituary, I see Judy did, indeed, have a career as an artist. Her work was displayed in local galleries and she sold some pieces. No small feat.
Those two awkward misfits who sat on Judy's bed, playing canasta by the hour, fantasizing about being an artist and a writer, actually made it.
Good for us.
Rest in peace, Judy.
*A gentle, lovely woman. She threw a joint 16th birthday for us (Judy's birthday was two days before mine).
1. What bill do you hate paying the most? I'm going to respond not with a bill but an item: light bulbs. They're seldom on sale and they're always boring to shop for.
2. Which restaurant would you recommend for a romantic dinner? I am going to defer to a former coworker for this one. She loves going to Coopers Hawk Winery with her new husband. They are having a lot of work done in their condo and when the chaos at home stresses them out, they get dressed up and go to Coopers Hawk. It's easy to get in, and they like the food, the drink and the ambience. To see if there's a location, click here.
3. Who was your first grade teacher? Her name was Mrs. Krach. I don't recall her first name. In fact, I doubt that it even occurred to first-grade me that she had a first name.
4. What should you be doing right now? Showering and feeding the cats. If I don't get moving, they're going to remind me that it's time to feed them very soon.
5. What did you want to be when you were growing up? So many things! The earliest I remember is a singer. When I played Barbies, my doll was always a singer so she could hang around with her pretend BFF, Ann Marie (Marlo Thomas) of That Girl. Ann was an actress in New York and she and my doll had such fun on their imaginary showbiz adventures. Of course, the fact that I'm completely tone deaf helped quash this ambition.
6. How did you choose the shirt you're wearing right now? I'm wearing my nightshirt. I chose it because it was on top when I opened the drawer.
7. Gas prices! What's your first thought? That I don't care. I'm sorry, but since I don't drive, I don't pay attention.
8. Do you have a teddy bear? Yes. It wears a yellow shirt that says "Someone Loves Me at FKCC." It's a treasured gift from my late friend Henry, who taught at Florida Keys Community College and did love me.
9. Do you own the last book you read, or did you get it from the library? I don't know how to answer this. I own the last book I finished Tuesday but the one I'm reading right now is a library book.
10. Did you more recently send a text or write a Post It? Text.
Saturday 9: Too Shy (1983) Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1)
This song laments vulnerability and self-consciousness in a social
settings. Are you often "too shy?" Or are social gatherings easy for
you? Professionally, I'm fine. When I worked in advertising, I was good in front of a roomful of clients. At the card shop I'm fine talking to customers. I'm less comfortable socially.
2)
In the lyrics, a girl self-censors, telling herself, "hush hush." Have
you more recently shushed someone, or were you shushed? I was shushed.
3)
Band member Nick Beggs recalls that they called themselves Kajagoogoo
because it sounded like something that would make a baby laugh. It is
fun to say. Can you think of another word that you just enjoy saying? "Gubernatorial."
4)
This was the only US hit for the British band, earning Kajagoogoo
the title "One Hit Wonder." Can you think of another artist or band who
had one really popular song and then just kind of disappeared? Who can forget funky Billy Chin and little Sammy John?
5)
Though fame was fleeting here, Kajagoogoo remained popular in England.
Lead singer Limahl recalls the adulation as "overwhelming," and he was
shocked when he stepped on stage in Cornwall to see row after row of
fans wearing their hair like he did. Have you ever handed a photo to a
stylist and said, "Make my hair look like this?" Kinda sorta. I said I wanted my hair to look like Olivia Benson's on SVU and he knew what I meant. That was more than a decade ago. Liv has changed her hair many times but this is still my cut. I've changed up the color since then, but I'm staying with this style.
6)
In 1983, when this song was popular, the Lotus 1-2-3 program made it
easier for PC users to make spreadsheets. Are you answering these
questions on a Mac or PC? Laptop, phone or tablet? MacBook Air.
7) 1983
saw Abbey Road Studios open their doors for the first time for public
tours. During the first two months, 22,000 tickets were sold to fans who
wanted to see where the Beatles made their magic. What's the last
ticket you purchased? Probably my airline tickets for my flights to/from Los Angeles last month.
8)
Also in 1983, McDonald's introduced Chicken McNuggets. When was chicken
most recently on the menu at your home? How was it prepared? Last week I took a tray of prepared pulled barbecue chicken out of my refrigerator and popped it in the microwave.
9) Random question: Have you ever forgotten where you left your car in a parking lot? I don't drive, so I've never been the one who has done the forgetting. But I have wandered around parking lot with friends who have misplaced their cars. Seems to happen a lot.
My oldest friend is in the hospital (see post below), and our classmate Judy died. Judy reached out to me via Facebook Messenger about six months ago, but I pretended I didn't see it. She hurt me so badly, there was always so much drama in her wake, I didn't see the point. I don't regret the decision, but I do honor and mourn the nerdy teenage girls we were, and I'm sorry her last decade was so painful.
I keep getting messages asking if I'm going to attend our 50th high school reunion. I don't answer them. I showed up at high school as little as possible when The State of Illinois mandated my attendance. I'm certainly not going back by choice now.
But it is on my mind. Here I am, reasonably healthy. Oh, I'm fat and my knees bother me. If I don't get back on the water-drinking bandwagon, I'll develop kidney stones again. But, for the most part, I'm OK. Certainly I have not suffered as Judy and my oldest friend have.
I'm not a wealthy woman, but I'm OK. My cat Connie needs expensive dental work – more expensive than I had anticipated – but I can pay for it. I'll be able to afford trips up to Michigan to meet my niece's baby this fall and then spend Christmas with them. (And I've been picking up presents for them.) I plan on attending the TCM Classic Film Festival in Hollywood next year. When I want to go out to lunch or dinner with my friends, I have cash to cover it. My oldest friend is broke and couldn't afford to go anywhere, even if she was physically able.
My 2BR condo is a hovel. Really, I can't get over the disrepair I've allowed it to fall into. On the other hand, I'm paying down a 3.35% APR mortgage and my monthly housing cost (mortgage and assessment) is only $1100/month. I couldn't rent a 2BR in this neighborhood for $1100/month. That would get me a studio. Judy and her husband lived in a 1st floor studio. (Though she was in assisted living when she died.) My oldest friend rents a room in a ranch house – she shares her bathroom and kitchen with three other people.
My friend John died a year ago last month. My friend Henry died a year ago next month. They both suffered a great deal physically and financially at the end of their lives, too. They weren't part of The Class of 75 – John graduated in 1972 and Henry in 1980 – but close enough.
Right now I am sad. I am confused. I am grateful. To borrow from Anthony Rizzo in Game 7 (who borrowed it from Will Ferrell in Anchorman): I'm in a glass cage of emotions.
My oldest friend is back in the hospital. Fourth time in three months. One was a trip to the ER and then home, another was an emergency visit to a walk-in crisis center, then there was a four-day stay to get her anxiety/depression meds evened out, and now she's in the hospital because her blood pressure/heart rate were very low and her A1C was sky high.
Part of the problem is that she's on Medicare/Medicaid and is at the mercy of the healthcare system. Part of it is that she doesn't do the recommended aftercare. It overwhelms her. She becomes too exhausted to make and organize the appointments required to manage her bipolar disorder/diabetes/urinary tract infection/heart disease.
I had hopes that with this hospitalization, we had turned a corner. She was more communicative, starting a text chain to let us know how she's doing. The photos she attached were disturbing – she looked so old, so grizzled, with an oxygen tube. But she seemed comfortable and upbeat. As though she's finally getting answers to what has made 2025 such a challenging year for her medically. I was happy to learn that she consulted with the hospital chaplain. I believe the most important and intimate relationship any of us will ever have is with God, and I remain convinced if my friend leaned into her spirituality more than her search for knight to rescue her, she'd be happier and more content.
Today, though, the text chain was full of red flags. She's about to be discharged, which makes her happy. But she doesn't like Dr. Gwen, the hospitalist assigned to her case. She insists Dr. Gwen interned under Joseph Mengele. I'm afraid I know where this is going to lead: she's not going to pursue the prescribed aftercare because she doesn't like Dr. Gwen. She's going to say that Dr. Gwen makes her feel bad about herself and her situation and she just doesn't need this. That's why she stopped seeing her urologist – his staff was rude and frustrating. As I pointed out to her, that decision didn't bother her urologist one whit but it did contribute to her UTI spiraling out of control. She didn't respond to this observation.
I can't help my oldest friend. She's on the path she is on. I will however, answer every text she sends, pray and worry about her, share whatever wisdom I have with her.
But I can be there for her daughter. I have known Jenna since before she was born. I know how hard it is to be the daughter of a mom who is failing. These hospitalizations have contributed to a flare up in Jen's colitis, and she's going to be in a different hospital herself on Monday, getting a colonoscopy.
So I send her regular texts, letting her know I am thinking about her and I attach silly, cuddly animal pictures. I mailed her an "atta girl" postcard. I took her to dinner when I was in LA for the TCM Film Festival. I can't save my friend, but maybe I can be a support system for her daughter.
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